"Sometimes the people we love the most are the ones we are best without."

*************

Nikolas's POV

"Hey, what's up?" Alex said, more cheerful than I'd prefer at this time as he pushed past me and walked inside the house.

A low sigh parted my lips, my shoulders slumping down as I closed the door, turned around, and followed him to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and rampaged through it, just being his usual self so I ignored him and sat back on the chair, trying to kick myself awake after another night of restless sleep.

To add to that, when I was about to take my pills this morning and relief some of the stress away, I noticed that they were all finished, so I am a bit on edge. Hopefully, I won't kill anyone till I get new ones.

My elbow rested over the table and I leaned my forehead into my palm, my eyelids dropping down in tiredness, "Oh, you bought me apples," I heard Alex say as he closed the fridge. His footsteps got closer and I opened my eyes, watching him take a seat next to me, "Thanks," he mumbled as he took his first bite.

I didn't react to anything he said or did. So, he eyed me with wary eyes as he munched on his fruit. He didn't question my grumpy state, he was just so used to it by now. His eyes flickered from me to the fresh cup of coffee placed on the table just right next to me. I understood his intentions and tried to reach for it but he went faster and snatched it away.

He threw me a wink as he took his first sip from my fucking cup. My jaw ticked, one day soon, I will beat him for this behavior, just not today. Because if I start with him while I am in this state, things won't end well.

He looked at me from up to down, "You didn't go jogging today?" He asked, casually taking another bite of his apple.

I shook my head. I don't plan to, I don't have the energy for it anyway.

My eyes took notice of his more formal attire and before I could speak, he said while looking down at himself, "Hey, I know I look hot in a suit, you don't have to check me out like that."

I rolled my eyes and even though I didn't ask, he kept talking, "I was on my way to work but I wanted to check something with you first," He took another sip of my coffee, "Did you speak with Emma?"

I rushed a hand over my face and leaned back into my seat, "No, I tried to call her yesterday but couldn't reach her," I answered and Alex's eyebrows pulled closer in confusion, "Oh, so you don't...know?"

"Know what?"

He studied my face for a couple of seconds, "I spoke with Roman this morning," He started to say, "They were kind of attacked, well Emma was," His words shook me awake right away and I leaned forward in my seat, my eyes growing wide in shock, "What do you mean by attacked?"

He shook his head, "He didn't tell me the details that's why I came to you to learn what happened," He mumbled and I was already dialing her again.

"Is she okay now?" I asked as a weird sense of worry rushed over my chest. I know that Emma can take care of herself in that sense but still...last time she lost her baby and I don't want to see her in that state ever again.

He nodded, "Yeah Roman said she is recovering," He said and the line went dead. Why wasn't she picking up my calls for fucks sake? I dialed Roman this time and thankfully he answered, "He-"

"Where is Emma?" I shot right away, interrupting his words.

"She is sleeping right now," He answered.

"Is she okay?" I asked, "Depends on your definition of okay, but yeah, she will be," He said, the worry in my tone matched nothing to the stress and buried anger in his.

"Was it Isaac?" My fingers involuntarily tightened over the phone. I doubted he'd attack without a motive, but he would always be my first suspect when it came to this.

"No, no, it's a whole different story," He said with a low sigh, "Then who the fuck dared to-" Before I could finish my sentence, he relieved me slightly by saying, "It doesn't matter, they are dead now anyway."

I rushed a frustrated hand over my face, "When she wakes up, call me," I stressed out, already planning to get on a plane to there later this evening. I needed to check up on her in person. For Emma to fall weak like this, then it wasn't just any attack.

We hung up after and I dropped the phone onto the table, a little too harshly as the anger at the fucking situations we keep falling into saturated every alive nerve in my being.

Alex was looking at me, "Doesn't it tire you?" He mumbled and when my eyebrows pulled closer, he explained, "All of this I mean, that there is always a threat, that any minute someone could get hurt, that you have so many enemies waiting for a chance," He shrugged, his expression shifting more seriously, "Because it sure as hell takes a lot of energy out of me."

I nodded, "Yeah, why do you think I am the way I am," I said back. It doesn't just tire me, it scraps bits and pieces of me every damn time.

"Do you plan on leaving all of this?" Alex asked, his questions coming a bit out of the blue. His tone was serious, which meant he wasn't messing around as usual.

When I stayed silent, "If by a god's miracle, you actually get rid of Isaac, do you plan on leaving all of this, or do you want to take his place?" He tried to clarify, demanding an answer still.

I didn't have words for that because I never thought past the day when Isaac would meet his end. I have no clue what would happen then, I have no plan, and it feels like I will have no fucking purpose afterward. It didn't matter though, I want his death now, that's all I want to be focused on and the rest can come later.

My silence had Alex's eyebrow raise, "Seems like you never want to let go of this world," He said, not very happy with his words, "What about Natalie? Do you think she would accept...this?"

My lips lifted into a mocking smile, "You are talking as if Natalie and I will surely end up together." That was a very distant dream, one I don't see coming true in any way.

He shrugged, "You never know."

We both stayed silent after, my gaze fell down on the table, my fingers tracing random patterns as I spoke, my voice lower now, "I want to let go of this world more than you can imagine," I told him the truth, my gaze flickering up to his and I shook my head, "But it's the only thing that I know how to do, Alex."

Understatement flashed in his eyes and he nodded his head, "You know I could always convince Ashton to hire you," His lips slightly twitched and his tone turned playful, his way of putting an end to our serious conversation, since it was probably heading somewhere he didn't like nor wanted to deal with. By now, I seem to get him more than I understand myself.

My eyebrow raised and he gave me a wink as he sipped coffee from my cup. I nodded my head forward toward the cup he is holding, needing to infuriate him as he does to me, "You do know that I drank from this one just before you got here, right?"

My words had the coffee go through the wrong pipe and he coughed up as he slammed the cup down, "Damn you," He coughed again and rubbed at his throat, his expression twisting in disgust, "And here I was wondering why it tasted like that," He added, being a drama queen.

He got up and went through the cabinets, getting a glass and filling it with water, still mumbling something but I blocked him out for now. I rubbed a hand over my forehead, trying to blunt the ache away and failing. Just then, my gaze fell on the little monster that entered the kitchen, her little paws annoyingly tapping over the floor. She paused to a stop when her big eyes fell on me, I shot her a glare in return, hoping she would steer away or I would end up throwing her out of the window for sure; my way to take revenge for what her owner did to my office last night.

I winced at the memory and shook my head, blocking the thought far away, I didn't need more stress on my already full plate. I just needed to go and get my pills as soon as possible or I won't be responsible for my actions next.

I hissed a curse under my breath when Alex's hands suddenly fell onto my shoulders from the back. I turned my head, trying to push him away but he used his hands to squeeze at my shoulders, "Why are you so much riled up?" He questioned my sore mood, "Calm down."

I wrapped my fingers over his wrist, "Nothing," I grumbled, trying to pry him off my case, "Don't touch me," When he didn't listen to my warnings, I shot him a stern glare, "Alex, I am already on edge, don't trigger me more," He sensed the seriousness in my rough tone, his eyebrows pulling closer in confusion because I wasn't messing around now.

"What's wrong?" He asked, a bit of worry tightening the lines over his forehead as he dropped back onto the chair.

"My pills, they are finished," I mumbled, "I haven't taken them for two days, so-" I left my words hanging there, not needing to explain more. He knows exactly how their absence messes with my mind. He witnessed it firsthand.

Understatement flashed in his eyes, "Oh," he mumbled lowly, "You still take those?" He questioned, his throat slightly bobbing at whatever thoughts were roaming his head now.

"Why would I stop?"

He shrugged, "Just thought you did," He said, simply.

"Anyway, I'm gonna go take a shower," I pushed myself to my feet, using whatever energy I had left in me to carry on with this miserable day, "Arent you going to leave?" I questioned. Didn't he say he had work to do?

His eyebrow raised at my hostility and crossed his arms over his chest, acting nonchalant, "What are you gonna do after?"

"Go get my pills, take care of a few things," I didn't necessarily need to specify what those things are, "And then after I will most probably head to London to check on Emma," I explained.

He picked up his apple and munched on whatever was left of it, "Okay, go take your shower," He said, ever so casually, "We can head out of here together," He added, and I knew I made a mistake by exposing to him my rattled state. He isn't gonna leave my side now, is he? Great.

Sighing in annoyance, I decided not to argue and hear more of him. I headed out of the kitchen, and the stupid cat followed me, suit on my steps and walking right beside me. I glared down at the ball of fur and it took everything in me not to kick her away with my feet.

I was too busy having murderous thoughts about that little monster and glaring at it that I didn't hear the guest's bathroom door open just as I passed by it. All I felt was something crash into my side, a low soft gasp came from that side, and a sweet coconutty scent invaded my nostrils. I paused in my steps, my gaze flickering to my left and falling on Natalie. She grasped the towel that was wrapped around her body, her fist so tight over the soft fabric from the top, preventing any chance of it falling and exposing what lay behind.

The wet strands of her hair were falling down around her face, the water had darkened them from their blonde tone into a somewhat light brown color, bringing alive into my brain an image of her with her natural hair color. Water had lined her lashes, bringing out of her eyes the best shade ever, a bright yet deep blue. The calmness of it penetrated through the chaos tumbling inside of me, and for a second there, it tamed me down and gave my erratic mind a bit of peacefulness.

As soon as I sank into that comfortableness, I got pulled out of it right away. Especially when she took a frightened step backward, building the necessary distance between us, her throat nervously bobbing as she swallowed hard, impatiently counting the seconds before she can escape into her room and far away from me.

I forced my gaze away from her face, my jaw tightening as I resumed my steps, without muttering a single word and giving her exactly what she wanted. Distance. I entered my room and slammed the door shut behind me. My fist tightened at the side and it took everything in me not to break something.

I counted to ten in my head, trying to keep myself calm and intact. This woman was dangerous in so many ways I never thought possible before, because she can easily both tame and trigger the monster in me without any restraints.

I pried my eyes open and headed into the shower. I needed my fucking pills as soon as possible, or I am sure I will do something I will most likely regret.

*************

Alex's POV

I heard footsteps come from behind me, my eyes focused on my phone's screen as I replied to a few important emails so I didn't look, "You finished fast," I commented in amusement, internally laughing at the double meaning of my words, expecting those steps to belong to Nikolas, only to be proven wrong when the person rounded his way from behind and paused to a stop across from me.

I could see the blurry blondness from my peripheral vision and my jaw involuntarily tightened. Great. I need Nikolas, ASAP. My gaze flickered up from the screen and met a set of blue eyes, ones that seemed to be consumed with deep sorrow and regret as they stared back into mine. I was about to get up and wait for him in the car when she spoke, "Alex-" She said, urging me to wait.

Air pushed out of my nose and I paused, looking back at her, not willing to speak yet. She took an immediate step forward, "I just want to apologize," She said, her tone genuine, "You were right that day, I...uh," Stressed lines etched her forehead and her gaze drifted down, "I crossed my limits and I was acting in a way that is so not me," She looked back at me, "So, I am really sorry."

She shook her head, "I had no right to interfere in your life...or in your family, the way I did," Her eyes flashed with genuine sorry, almost like she wishes to go back and take back her words, to prevent herself from digging too deep into what she is not ready to face, "It's just my curiosity, it always takes the best of me," A small somber smile pulled the corner of her lips up, "I just hope we can put that behind us."

I wasn't one to hold a grudge, especially not when she seemed genuinely sorry, but also I wasn't gonna turn a blind eye to the vibe I got off her that day, so she is still under my radar until I get my doubts proven wrong. I nodded my head, "Yeah, sure," I said, "We can put it behind us for now."

Her smile slightly grew wider, satisfied with my words and she edged closer, extending her hand forward, her head slightly tilting, "Friends?" She asked with hope, and she looked more like herself, the Natalie that I first met, the soft innocent one, the mature one, with a strong mind, the one who can help Nikolas deal with his inner turmoil because she is capable of understanding him in a way not everyone can.

I placed my hand in hers and shook it, my eyebrow raising, "What about brother/sister-in-law?"

She chuckled lowly at my words, "I prefer friends for now."

I nodded with a small smile, "I can work with that too."

A bit of relief relaxed her expression, almost like that little incident was eating at her. I knew she wasn't a bad person, but I couldn't help the overprotectiveness that rushed over my insides and consumed me when I sensed a suspicious vibe from her that day. So, I surely wasn't going to let this end here.

"So, Natalie," I started, my eyes on hers, searching for the truth, "What is it that you know?"

Lines etched between her eyebrows at my question. I gave her a knowing look in return because she understood exactly what I was asking about. I didn't need to say it out loud.

She drifted her gaze away from me, preparing herself to explain things out loud for the first time, "I found a picture in Nikolas's pocket, that day when his father took him," She started to explain, her gaze meeting mine as she added, "A baby's picture...Max's picture," She added, slightly confusing me because I didn't know he owned such a picture.

"I mean only when I saw him in your phone that day, that I understood it was actually Max," Her jaw worked, "And, uh...Nikolas has this picture of him when he was a kid with his mother," She added and I remembered that picture very well, "It's just, the similarities were uncanny."

"So?" I asked.

Her throat bobbed, "So, I came to one conclusion," She answered, shrugging slightly, "I mean yeah, you could resemble your uncle but with everything that went on in the past and is hidden, I just...Uhm," She was out of words, trying to rephrase the sentence again, a bit hesitant as she spoke the next words out loud, both a statement and a question at once, "Max is his son?"

My fingers tightened into a fist and I said one thing in return, the only truth I know of, "Max is my son," The roughness and the bit of edge in my tone made her understand that the biology part of it meant shit to me.

She nodded her head in understatement, "And he is so lucky to have you," She said, meaning it.

"I am the lucky one," I said back and a small relaxed smile lifted her lips, satisfied with my protectiveness over my kid.

"Natalie-" I started to speak again, a hint of warning in my tone and she immediately nodded her head, understanding what I was about to say, "Don't worry," She said, shaking her head, "I wouldn't speak of it to anyone," She promised, "It's between you and me, I promise."

I tried to calm and ease down my erratic heartbeats; the alarm that blares every time it senses danger, and this time, I didn't get that vibe off her at all. It's the total opposite, I believed her genuineness behind this.

"You're not going to ask more?" I questioned, my eyebrow arching. The search for the truth behind this fact could be a bit too overwhelming.

She shook her head immediately, her lips pressing into a thin line, a hundred different questions and doubt swirled through her eyes, dimming them a little. Her shoulders dropped down, "I am not ready to face more now," She stated and I wanted to say that she will never be ready to face the rest anyway, but I kept silent and just nodded my head.

"I-"

"Alex, let's g-" Nikolas's voice interrupted what I was about to say as he paused by the entrance, his own words halting to a stop when his eyes fell on me and Natalie. His gaze flickered between us, trying to understand what was going on. His eyes slightly narrowed at me, expecting me to be fighting with her considering my attitude the last time I was here.

I rolled my eyes at his drama and he took a few steps closer, his eyes flickering to Natalie, "If you're going to the hospital or somewhere else, I can drop you off," He said, turning into a kitten when he speaks with her but with me, he glares and grumps. The bitch.

She shook her head, "Uh, no thanks," She said, "My friend is picking me up."

Nikolas's eyebrows pulled closer, "Friend?"

She nodded her head, swallowing hard, "Uhuh."

"I am sure it's no usual friend," I pointed out, nodding forward at her attire, "No one dresses like that for just a friend," I added and her eyes widened at me as I winked, "Admit it, it's a date, isn't it?"

Was it smart to trigger Nikolas when he was already on edge? Probably not, but who cares.

"Uh, no, no," Natalie tried to say, a bit nervous and redness rushed all over her face as she smoothed her short winter black dress, "I am dressed as I always dress, there is nothing special about this," She added, her eyes glaring at me and asking me to shut up before Nikolas kills whoever is coming to pick her up.

Oh man, why was this so much fun?

I shrugged, "As you say," I said, turning around and facing Nikolas, who was silently listening to our conversation. His full-of-fury eyes met mine and I smiled, "Shall we go?"

His jaw tightened and he looked ready to put me, Natalie, and her friend ten feet underground. The sound of a phone ringing grabbed my attention back to Natalie as she pulled it out and checked who was calling, "I should head out too," She mumbled lowly as she passed by us, trying to escape from this situation as fast as she can.

She grabbed her cream-colored coat from over the rack and placed it on. She wore her boats and the three of us left the house together. Natalie still seemed to be way too nervous, definitely not expecting her friend to arrive just as we are about to leave. Nikolas on the other hand kept silent, the dangerous type, the one right before he goes and twists someone's neck.

We stepped out into the coldness of late November, and my gaze wandered around before it spotted the car waiting for Natalie and her friend, who is very much a male. She turned to us and waved her hand, "See you later, Alex," She said with a small smile, addressing me only before she crossed the street and made her way toward the car.

I inched closer to Nik, ready to restrain him in case he goes after them and actually kills whoever that man is, because my brother looked more than ready to wreak havoc right now. The man stepped down from the car, smiling at Natalie and chatting a bit before he opened her door and let her in. When he rounded his way around, and before he got into the driver's seat, his eyes fell on us and he raised a hand, addressing Nikolas and nodding his head with a small smile, indicating that they'd probably met before, which explains why Nikolas's neck was pure red from his anger.

I curled my hand over Nik's arm and pushed him toward his car, "Let's go," I urged and he harshly snatched his arm away from my grip. I gave him a knowing look, "Don't worry, you are more handsome than him, so, she will come to her senses and gets back to you in the end," I mocked, and his silence as he glared at me was starting to scare me. Jesus, why couldn't I have a normal brother?

I jumped inside the car and he followed, roaring the engine to life and pulling us into the street, "So, uh, who was that?" I asked because his silence was getting me so uncomfortable.

"I don't care," He grumbled.

"Uhuh, it's so obvious that you don't," I said with a raised eyebrow.

Nik's gaze fell on me, his jaw ticking, "Why are you here, anyway?" He shot out, just now realizing that I am actually in his car, going along to wherever he is heading, "Didn't you say you had work?"

I nodded, "Yeah, my important meeting is not till one, so up till then," I smiled sheepishly, "I am all yours."

A loud harsh breath pushed off his nose and he averted his gaze away from me, focusing on the road and trying to pretend I don't exist.

"Where are we going, anyway?"

No answer.

"From where do you buy those pills of yours?" I wondered, "Can you just pick it up from a pharmacy?" I was speaking my thoughts out loud, "Does it need a prescription?" If not, I definitely needed to stack some of them, in case of incidents like such occur again, I can just shove them up his ass and calm him the eff down.

Again, no answer.

I turned my head to him, "Nikolas," I called out, my tone a bit more serious now, "Can you say something because you are scaring me now," I said just as he paused the car to a stop by the red lights and backed his head against the seat, tiredly pressing his eyes shut for a second or two, "Should I drive?" I suggested.

He shook his head, "I am fine," He said, still not looking at me.

Fine my ass.

I decided to keep silent for the time being and just keep a close eye on him till he gets his drug. The last time I took those pills away, he ended up pointing a gun at his head. I am not risking that again.

We reached our destination not too long after, and I was too busy worrying about the bitch that I haven't realized how he drove me to the excluded part of the town, "Where the hell are we?" I asked as I went down the car and followed him into the old building.

I didn't expect him to answer me anyway and when we entered the elevator, I seemed to understand where we are on my own, "Is this the office Emma was talking about?" I asked as we reached the underground floor. Nikolas typed some passcode over the controller and the metallic door glided open, proving my theory right.

We walked further in and I took a good look at my surroundings, waving my hand when I saw Ronald at the other end of the room. He was speaking with some other guy and when he spotted us, he jogged closer, coming to a stop beside Nikolas.

"You got them?" Nikolas asked without any introductions, probably referring to the drug. I knew they weren't any normal medicine you pick up from a pharmacy. Damn it, why does everything have to be so illegal with him?

Ronald seemed a bit hesitant, dreading to say it out loud as he shook his head, "There isn't any left here," He explained, his wary eyes assessing Nikolas and his agitated state.

"What do you mean there isn't any left here?!" Nik shot out angrily, taking a furious step forward. The force vibrating off him involuntarily pushed Ronald backward, building a safe distance between him and my brother, "Isaac closed down that lab, we aren't manufacturing nor selling them anymore," He added, but before Nikolas could snap, Ronald added, trying to ease him down, "Thankfully, we aren't the only one who produce them."

"I found a way to get some," Ronald added.

"But?" Nikolas questioned, sensing there is more to it.

"But the shipment is coming all the way from Russia, so they won't get here till tomorrow morning," He said, his eyes taking full notice of Nikolas's reaction.

Nikolas's eyelids dropped down for a small second, composing himself, and thankfully he didn't choose today as the day to kill Ronald because when he opened them up, he spoke no word and walked away, heading to the other room and away from us.

Ronald's eyes flickered from his retreating back and to me, "Phew," He said with a low sigh, relieved he didn't get punched or something, "He really looks like he is gonna kill someone today," He added.

My eyebrow raised and I tapped my hand over his shoulder, "Yeah, and I am hoping it's not gonna be you."

He narrowed his eyes at me and I threw him a wink, "Come on," I said, ushering him along as I followed Nikolas to the other room, Ronald beside me and I added, "Look, I am gonna have to leave in a bit, so just keep an eye on him for me, will you?"

He nodded his head immediately, sensing my worry, "Yeah, sure," he said, his eyebrow raising, "Won't be the first time."

I smiled, remembering him trying to play nurse last time, "Yeah, he is lucky to have you as his brother-in-law," I mocked and Ronald winced, his expression twisting into a disgusted horrified one, "Don't say that again," He shot out, wincing yet again at the whole brother-in-law idea, "God, that would be a nightmare!"

I shook my head at him as I stepped into the office, and before I could comment or say anything back to Ronald, I halted to a sudden stop as my eyes took notice of my surroundings. I was gonna try not to tease Nikolas anymore today because he didn't need more on his plate but this...this was just priceless.

A laugh bubbled out of my throat without my control, "Oh my god, what the hell happened here?"

Ronald beside me chuckled and Nikolas's eyes went to Jeremy, he glared at him and shot out angrily, "Didn't I tell you to clean this up?" He said, addressing the office's new decorations.

Jeremey's throat bobbed nervously, "Uh, but Natalie threatened me not to change anything."

"Natalie did this?" I asked with a chuckle as I traced my hand over the big cat stickers plastered on the wall by my side, "Oh man do I love her, she is something else," I added and Nikolas was losing every bit of patience he had left in him.

Nik focused his anger on poor Jeremy, "And who is your fucking boss, me or Natalie?"

Jeremey fixed his glasses, pushing them up and nodding his head, "Uh, you, of course," He looked around, "I will take care of it as fast as I can," He added, assuring Nik, and rushing out to get his job done.

Nik hefted out a loud breath and slumped down over his chair, unable to carry himself up without breaking down or breaking someone. Ronald left the office as well and I pulled the nearest chair toward Nik's side. I sat down, leaning forward to pick up the cup placed there and reading the words written over it. I couldn't hold myself back from laughing again and Nik was burning holes into my head, "Oh come on, you gotta admit, this is funny," I said, lifting the cup and the name tag spelling out the words Big Boss Mafia.

"If Isaac sees this, he would die just by laughing at you," I added and Nikolas didn't seem amused at all. I rolled my eyes at him and mumbled under my breath, "Not one humorous bone in your body, is there?"

My eyes drifted away from him and spotted the framed picture positioned by the computer screen, the one I am sure Natalie placed there, it was her hugging the little cute kitten. My grin widened and I pointed at it, "I want my picture there as well," I said, planning to bring it with me the next time I visit here.

Nikolas ignored me, and despite all of my attempts to pull him out of his messy head, nothing seemed to work anymore. He rested his elbows over the desk, he placed his head between his palms, his fingers moving and grasping into his hair, trying to calm the chaos slowly ripping at his insides.

My jaw tightened, my eyes on him, feeling a bit helpless. I brought my hand forward, resting it over his shoulder, "It's just a drug, Nikolas," I tried to break through to him, "You are addicted to it, that's all, it doesn't control you."

He shook his head, his fingers tightening over the strands of his hair, "You don't understand," He mumbled, "It's like there is a war in my head, everything is just on..." His eyes pressed shut tighter than before as if trying to block away whichever memories were pushing and pulling inside his head, "And I can't stop it."

My chest tightened as I watched him struggle still with something he can't seem to be able to ever escape from, "Hey, I can take the day off," I suggested, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze, "We can go somewhere, you know blow off some steam," Maybe I can try and drift his thoughts away from this, I just...I don't know. I really don't know how to deal with this.

He lifted his head and looked at me, he shook it, his tone calmer now, trying to ease my worry, "No, go back to your work, Alex, I," He let out a low breath, "I will just stay here for the rest of the day," He added, "I think I will go to Emma tomorrow, I am in no state to fly overseas today."

"I think that is for the best," I said.

He nodded and straightened himself in his seat. He rubbed a tired hand over his neck, "I will be back in a bit," He mumbled, getting up to his feet and leaving the room, and I gave him a few seconds to breathe and calm off, so I didn't follow.

I leaned backward in my seat, my eyes flickering to my right, to his jacket that was laying over the chair he occupied seconds ago. Natalie's words replayed in my head again and before I could stop myself, I edged closer. I lifted the side of the jacket, my hand going into the inside pocket, and just like I expected, I found exactly what I was looking for.

I pulled the little piece of paper out, taking the picture into my hand. A small smile involuntarily pushed at my lips as my eyes fell on my little boy. My finger lightly ran over his little face, and a weird sense of tightness rushed into my chest again, stealing that somber smile away almost instantly. I swallowed past the lump in my throat and before I could let the other part of me win and just take the picture away, I pushed it back into his pocket.

My fingers curled into the inside of my palm and I backed into my seat, my heart throbbing a wayward beat after another. It's not like I didn't want him to have it; I mean I even showed Nik a video of him myself, true I was drunk, but I would've done it sober as well. I wanted him to see the little perfect thing that kid is, to see the good he needs to fight for...but the truth is, fight for him in what sense?

It was all kind of messy, and despite how much I care for my brother, there isn't a scenario where Nik could be a part of Max's life. It doesn't work. Truth is, I don't want it to work. So, that's why, there is no point in him keeping Max's picture, it won't give him hope, it's the total opposite actually, it will only hurt him more.

***************

Nikolas's POV

The damn cat stickers were taken down by now. Thankfully. They were only adding to my agitated state.

Jeremy cleaned up some of the mess Natalie painted all over my space last night. I still couldn't wrap my mind around that girl and the power she got over me. So, I got rid of almost everything. Almost everything.

I kept the framed picture and the cup. I can make my peace with them.

Jeremy was about to throw that stupid plant, what was its name, Bella something, but I stopped him, "What are you doing?" I shot out, my loud voice startling him and he almost broke down the vase.

"Uh, you said to-" He tried to explain and I snatched the plant from him. I placed it back in its place, "Not this one," I grumbled out and he nodded his head without questioning.

Natalie has a weird relationship with living things, especially animals and plants for some reason, so if I get rid of this, I know that I won't hear the end of it.

My gaze fell on the stupid note sitting on my screen still, 'Don't forget to give Bella some water :)'. I looked at Jeremy, "Go get me water," I ordered and his lips slightly twitched but my glare had him compose himself and he ran off to get his task done.

When he returned back, I fed the thing some water, I didn't know how much to add, so I settled for moderate. Jeremy left after and I was thankful for the silence as I settled back in my chair. Alex hasn't left yet, he is still around somewhere, worried I might go out of my way and kill everyone in here if they only breathed the wrong way, which is exactly what I felt at the moment.

I rushed a hand over my face, hating how much trouble I am to him these days. First, me wanting to give up, then what happened to our mother, and now this. It feels like he is always there trying to pull me back from the edge. The things he spoke of this morning, how this gets tiring to him, I think he meant me, always watching every step I make, always worried I might slip, it must tire him a lot. Hell, it tires me too.

I hefted out a low breath, my thoughts drifting to Natalie again as my eyes fell on her picture, sitting there right across from me. I didn't know if I can keep myself intact till I can get my hands on the drug tomorrow, all I knew is that I needed her. I felt weak deep down in my bones, and I just...needed her. I know how she can calm down these demons with one word, one touch and she could fix this ache digging deep and deeper with every second.

Before I could fight my instincts, I pulled my phone out and dialed her, maybe I could see her, maybe she could come here, I just wanted her near, "Hello," Her soft voice answered.

"Hey," I said, my eyes pressing shut as I pressed the back of my head against the seat.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked after I stayed silent for a second or two.

I swallowed hard, "Uh, did you go see your father today, if not, we can go together," I fished for an excuse, "If you want."

"I already went there in the morning," She answered, bringing back anger and fury as I thought back to Malcolm picking her up, "The doctor said he needed to rest so I left after."

My jaw tightened and I straightened my back, "Where are you now?" I asked, not knowing how to tell her to just come here.

"Why?" She asked, her tone holding an edge still, indirectly asking me not to interfere.

"Just asking," I said lowly.

There was a small pause from her side, "I am at Sarah's house, we are preparing some food for dinner," She said and anger burned deep in my spirit at the thought that the fucker was there too.

Just to add more fire to the wild hot rage in me, I heard his voice, him speaking from somewhere beside her, asking something. Natalie's voice became lower as she answered him, she most probably moved the phone away from her mouth so I won't hear their conversation.

My fingers tightened over the phone and her voice penetrated through again, "Uh, I have to go now," She mumbled.

"Okay," I grated out.

I was ready to hang up when she decided to speak more, "Nikolas," She called for me, her voice dropping a bit lower, softer, almost like she could sense it as she asked, "Are you okay?"

No. I am fucking losing my mind. I need you here.

"Yes," I said, blankly.

"Okay, see you tonight," She said, "Bye."

The second the line went dead, I allowed my anger to explode and I slammed the phone into the desk, getting up to my feet as my mind ran wild with thoughts and theories he didn't need. The thought of her with some other man, that I might've actually lost her forever. I keep thinking I can win her over again but looks like I am wrong, looks like I am too late.

Maybe the reason she is acting this way is because she knows, that she was able to connect the dots somehow. But no, if she had figured it out, she would've not stayed a second in my house. So, what the hell had her flip hundred-eighty degrees within one night?

My mind went down in a circle, going back and forth and always falling into the same thought, the image of her getting into his car this morning, that she is with him now, that he was all high and mighty, that he was good enough for her, that with him she would have no one chasing after her, with him, she would've never figured out the bitter truth behind her mother's death, that with him Joseph would've not learned she existed...

That he, or any other man, will always be better for her than I will ever be.

My thoughts got tumbled up, squeezing at my sanity and I pressed my eyes shut trying to take back my control; Isaac's voice as he fought me back, worried sick about Nathan and threatening me with everything, more than ready to do anything for him; my mother's voice as she asked me to fight back; Natalie's voice as she cried that day saying how she hated how her life became after I came into it; My mother's hand falling into mine just right before a gunshot penetrated right through her heart...

I tried to quell the fucking insanity the absence of the drug was spurring in me but I failed, fury rose in me like a tempest. Red colored my vision. I was blinded by it and my fingers curled into a fist, a loud groan rumbled from my chest as I slammed it into the screen, the one lively streaming Isaac and his whereabouts. The screen fell backward, crashing into the ground but I wasn't the least satisfied, my fingers curled over the desk's edge, pulling it up and flipping it over. Everything on it slid down, falling and crashing into the ground with a loud thud that echoed around, hitting the four walls and reverberating back at me with a deafening screech.

I tried to breathe, sorting and digging my way through this but failed. The only thing to bring me back was the picture frame laying on the floor away from me. My eyes spotted it midst all and I stepped over the broken mess, crouching down and reaching for it with my shaking fingers. Even with my effort to break and ruin everything in my path, the frame holding her picture was still intact, not even a scratch on it even though it fell hard with a force.

I wiped the dust that gathered from over the glass, breathing out in relief. Maybe it was a hidden message, that despite all, I would never hurt or break her in any way. That I wasn't physically or mentally capable of causing her any type of harm. A weak smile pulled at my lips when I saw the cup laying beside me at a close distance, still undamaged, unharmed under my affliction.

My head whipped to the right, falling into the one thing that I actually managed to ruin, "Fuck," I hissed under my breath, reaching for the plant, the vase had broken down into pieces, and even though I tried to gather it around back into something whole, I only ended up wounding my hand with the broken glass, failing to correct my hasty mistake.

I turned my head to the door when I heard footsteps get closer. Alex and Jeremy paused by the entrance, their eyes flickered around the place, widening in shock at what I ruined in mere seconds. My jaw tightened and I addressed Jeremey, "Get me something to put this back together," I ordered, referring to the plant I could still salvage. When Jeremy stayed frozen, I raised my voice, "Quickly!"

He nodded and went away, while Alex edged closer to me, his wary eyes assessing my state as he crouched down by my side, "Nik," He said, a bit too careful, scared I might've lost my mind for good, "Uh, buddy, look, you just thrashed the whole office and you are worried about a plant for some reason, so how about I get you out of here?"

I shot him a glare, "I am not crazy," I pointed out, "So, don't speak to me like I am one."

His eyebrow raised and he nodded forward at the mess I created, "What happened?"

"Nothing," I said and he scoffed.

"You're bleeding, show me your hand," He said but when I ignored his request, his fingers curled over my wrist, forcefully pulling it to him and taking a look at it. His lips pressed into a thin line, not satisfied before he pulled the handkerchief from his pocket, "And just when I was about to leave, you go and do this," He mumbled under his breath, indirectly scolding me as he wrapped the cloth over my injured hand.

"I was just angry, that's all," I said, simply.

"And why is that?" He said back.

"Natalie is still with Malcolm," I grated out and Alex sat down beside me, finding this interesting.

"Malcolm as in the man who picked her up?" He asked and I nodded.

"You think they are...dating?" He asked.

I tried to suppress down the voice asking me to go out and kill him tonight, "Probably."

"And what are you gonna do about that?" He questioned.

Kill him. I shrugged, "I don't know."

Alex's lips twitched slightly and he waved his hand in the air like it was nothing, "Don't worry, all girls should try Mr. wrong first before they settle for Mr. Right," His eyebrow raised, "Believe me, I'd know."

His words didn't ease my anxiousness one bit, "In this story, I am Mr. wrong," I pointed out the obvious.

Alex found that funny because he chuckled, earning another glare from me, "Uh, no," He cleared his throat, "I mean you do have your moments, but you are like a scarred little kitten when it comes to Natalie, so, don't worry."

"Do you ever get tired of insulting me?"

He smiled, "Never."

My headache had slightly decreased by now for some reason, my inside easing down slightly. Maybe all I needed was to flip the desk over in order to calm down my agitated nerves.

I got up to my feet and so did Alex, helping me lift the desk back up like it was. Ronald joined us a couple of minutes later and Jeremy helped clean down the mess, and I tried to salvage whatever was left of the plant. If I want to win Natalie over, I definitely should start with taking care of the things she loves, as silly as they are.

Ronald's phone started ringing, he looked down at it with furrowed eyebrows before his eyes lifted up to mine, "It's Nate," he said, not used to her ever calling him.

He picked up the call and placed the phone to his ear, talking with her, "Hey...uh, yeah, sure," He said, answering whatever she asked from him, "I will be there in a bit," He added. Lines etched his eyebrows and his gaze fell on me, "Yeah, he is here," he answered, most probably talking about me, "Uhm okay, bye."

He hung up and looked at me strangely, "She wants me to pick her up," He informed me even though I didn't question him, "She asked about you," He added, his eyes narrowing at me, not understanding why she would do so, "She wants me to bring her here." Why though?

Alex threw his arm over my shoulders, "See, she already figured out that you are Mr. right," He said, ever so giddily.

***************

Ronald went to pick her up, even though I wanted to go and do it myself, but if she wanted that, she would've called me instead. Anyway, at least Mr. high and mighty isn't dropping her off. I can trade him off with Ronald any day.

Through the camera I had installed at the entrance, I saw Ronald's car arriving after what felt like a decade. That uncomfortable feeling snuck back at me with full force, trying to understand and analyze the reasons why she would want to come here and see me now.

My gaze flickered to Jeremy, whose eyes were on me for a very long time. I gave him a questioning look, indirectly asking him to whip his face away before I punch it. Instead, he smiled. I huffed out, "What?"

He leaned his back against the desk, arms crossed over his chest as he spoke, "It's just, we've been working together-" I cleared my throat asking him to fix his words, "I mean I've been working for you," He corrected himself, "For a long time now and I never saw you like this."

Jeremy didn't have one fighting bone in him, but his brain could do wonders, part of why he was the most valuable among my men, and even though I always scared the shit out of him, he still freely spoke what was on his mind. Sometimes the smartest people, are just the dumbest, I guess.

"Like what?" I said with a bored tone.

He was still smiling like an idiot, "Like this, you know," He shrugged, "Nervous over a girl."

Before I could deny whatever bullshit he was speaking of, I heard Natalie's voice get closer and closer before she walked into the room. Her eyes first fell on Jeremy, "Hey, Jer!" She said, ever so cheerfully, as if he was her friend for ages. She edged forward and gave him a quick hug. The hell-

She turned away from him and her eyes grew wide instantly when they took a look at the office, "Oh my god," She said, a frown pulled at her lips before she playfully landed a fist at Jeremy's arm, "Didn't I tell not to change a thing?"

He rubbed at his arm where she lightly punched, "I am sorry, but he is my boss," He said, pointing at me, and only then, her eyes fell on mine. They playfully narrowed at me and she took a few steps closer, coming to a stop only a few centimeters away from me. Her eyes looked all over my face, as if searching for something before she said, softer now, "Hey."

"Hey," I said back.

Her face relaxed and she was about to say something but her eyes fell on the plant beside me. She gasped and came closer, "What happened to Bella?" She asked as she caressed its leaves.

I cleared my throat, "It fell."

She pouted sadly and brushed her fingers over the plant, "Well, at least you put her back together," She smiled as she looked at me, "She will survive."

"Why are you here?" I couldn't stop myself from asking and I saw Jeremy silently taking a few steps back and escaping the room before this escalates.

She seemed taken aback by my forwardness and she just shrugged it off, "You called."

"Didn't you have a dinner to attend or something?"

She nodded, "Yeah, but I got worried," She simply said back.

"About who?"

She rolled her eyes at me, "Don't act stupid."

I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest, "Well, wouldn't your...friend mind you being here," Oh god, I am gonna kill him, this will end with me killing him, I can't see it working any other way.

Natalie glared at me, "I can go and see whoever I want, no one can interfere in that."

"Sure, sure," I added.

She narrowed her eyes at me, "You have no right to be jealous, you know that."

And here she goes triggering me again...

"I am not jealous," I said, "I am totally fine that you are seeing someone," I added, my tone as neutral as it can be

Natalie's eyebrows pulled closer and Alex walked in from behind her, snickering, "Yeah sure," He scoffed, coming to a stop beside us, "That's why you trashed the whole office just an hour ago when you called her."

I turned to him, glaring so he can shut up but he carried on, pointing at the stupid plant, "Look how you even broke the poor plant's vase."

Natalie's eyes widened, gasping, "You broke Bella's vase?" She shot out, accusing, "You said it fell!"

I shrugged, "It did fall, after I threw it," I defended, "Same thing."

Natalie shot me a hard glare, "Don't talk to me ever again," She said with genuine hurt, so serious before she stormed off.

Knowing how crazy she is and would probably stop talking to me because of a vase, I went after her, stopping things from escalating into more. My hand wrapped over her arm and I pulled her back in, "Wait," I said and she snatched her arm away, glaring at me.

Without looking at him, "Alex, leave us alone," I said.

When he didn't move, I looked at him, my eyebrow raising, "But..." He said, pouting like a kid, "But, I want to watch."

My jaw tightened in anger, ready to physically kick him out. He understood that and huffed out, "FYI, I will be eavesdropping from outside," He said before he shut the door behind him and I focused on Natalie.

She crossed her arms over her chest, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" She accused, "You broke her because I liked her and you were jealous, are you really that petty, Nikolas?"

"Despite your notion that I am the worst there is, I didn't do it on purpose," I defended back.

"Yeah, of course," She scoffed.

"I was angry," I explained and she rolled her eyes, "That's always your excuse, isn't it?" She shot back, "You are always angry, so next time, maybe you will throw me and break my bones, who knows," She added, infuriated.

"I would never do that!" I snapped because now she was driving me mad, "Okay, you want the damn truth, then yes, yes, I was fucking jealous," I grated out, "And don't you dare say I have no right to feel so, Natalie."

"You don't-" She started to say and I edged forward, crowding her space and silencing her words, "I fucking do, because things didn't end between us yet, you and I both know that very well."

"It ended for me," She said, so fast it damn hurt.

"You're bluffing," I grated out, denying this, "I don't know what's forcing you to deny and run away from it but you are not telling me the truth, Natalie," I shot back, furious at her, "The girl who flew all the way to London for me, who stood there by my side when I was at my weakest," I shook my head, "Things didn't end for that girl. It can never end this quick nor this easy."

She swallowed hard, and her expression almost wavered, "So, yeah, I don't want you going out with anyone else," I shook my head, "Just the thought of it makes my blood boil, that he picked you up from my fucking house, that you were with him all day," And here comes the urge to flip the office upside down again.

"Then where should I've been?"

"Here, with me," I said, my voice lowering down.

She shook her head, "You are not the one to decide," She was still insisting on pushing me off the edge, "I decide that."

It seemed that my words triggered something in her, "You don't decide whether it ended for me or not, I do, and when I say it did, I mean it!" She added.

I edged forward, "Prove it then," I challenged and her expression shifted, her fingers on the side shook before she curled it into a fist, "Prove to me that it ended for you, that I no longer mean anything, come on, prove it and I will leave you alone."

She hesitated, her throat bobbing heavily, "How will I prov-"

Before she could finish her words, I showed her how, my hand curled over her arm, pulling her in and getting rid of any space between us as my lips slammed into hers, swallowing down the rest of her words along with her gasp as I kissed her.

Her soft lips froze at first, never expecting me to attempt this and it was a second or two before they melted into mine just like they were used to, a connection she could deny no longer as they tangled with my own, uniting as one. My hand descended down over her spine before it settled over her lower back and pulled her even closer to me.

Her little soft moan proved to me that she needed this, that she missed it almost as much as I did. Her hand rested over my neck, her soft delicate touch doing things to me no one ever can. I sank into the first peaceful moment I had since this morning. All of a sudden, I felt okay, that I needed no drug, I needed nothing but this woman to be wrapped in my arms always and every day.

I deepened the kiss, lost in her taste and scent but something changed all of a sudden. The hands that were pulling me in, they...pushed me away. I felt her hand press over my chest, her lips pulling away from mine and she pushed herself backward, putting an end to the kiss as she stumbled backward, slightly bewildered.

Her eyes were wide and uncountable emotions surged through them, her lips red and plump under my assault and before I could ask what changed, I felt her hand slam into my cheek, a bit unexpected that I couldn't manage to stop her slap.

Her chest was heaving, from the kiss, or from her anger, the one that seemed to be directed at herself more than it was at me, "Don't ever kiss me without my permission again, you get that," She grated out, hoarsely before she whirled on her feet and stormed off.

Lost in how things flipped upside down within one second, I brought my hand to my cheek because truth be told, it was hurting and I stood there trying to understand one thing; What the hell just happened?

*************

Emma's POV

I woke up to a low knock on my bedroom door. Groaning in absolute pain, I tried to move my body around but failed, almost like I was run over by a hundred different trucks, "Come in," I mumbled, my voice barely scratching out of my hoarse throat.

The door opened after and I heard light footsteps inch closer but I was too exhausted to lift my head up and see who it is. I smelled something, like a warm vegetable soup, it smelled so tasty and cozy. I never thought a smell only could remind you of home. I pried my eyes open, they fell on Vivian as she placed the tray on the nightstand beside me.

"Where is Roman?" I mumbled with a pout, I wanted my husband.

Her eyes fell on mine, they were so soft and she smiled, "He just has a few things to take care of," She answered and I wanted to cry. Why isn't he by my side, now?

"He asked me to bring you something to eat," She added, her eyes flickering all over my face and lines deepened over her forehead. I bet I didn't look that good considering the number of hits I received. Damn it, I don't even feel good, which reminds me, I want Roman.

I tried to pull myself up and failed. So, the old nice woman inched closer and helped me sit down, stuffing the pillows behind my back and getting me comfortable, "Thanks," I mumbled lowly, having little to no energy in me. I looked at the bowl of soup and I wanted to reach for it but I couldn't get myself to move any muscle now, the medications along with everything my body went through in the last hours had weakened me beyond measure. I want my idiot husband.

Vivian sensed my miserable state, "I can help you," She suggested and I nodded, a bit shyly. She offered me a warm smile and sat down at the bed's edge by my side, taking a spoonful of the soup and bringing it to my lips. I swallowed down the tasty warm liquid and she tapped the napkin at the side of my mouth before she filled in another spoon.

I suddenly felt self-aware of the fact that she was feeding me. Before her, only Roman fed me, when that dreadful day befell on us, the day we lost our baby. I gulped down, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden, "Uh, I can feed myself, don't tire yourself, you probably have many other things to do," I suggested and she shook her head, resuming this almost like she wanted to do it.

"It's no problem," She commented with a smile and after a couple of spoons, I got full, unable to take more in.

"Thank you, that's enough for now," I mumbled, giving her an appreciative smile, feeling slightly more energized with the food I consumed, and wiped my mouth with the napkin. She nodded, listening to me, and placed the spoon back over the tray, ready to get up and leave but something held her back.

Her eyes went back to my face and her expression shifted and involuntarily, she inched her hand and brushed the bruise at the side of my temple, one of many.

"Why do they keep doing this to you?" She whispered the words out in disbelief. Working in here long before I was born, she had witnessed them do this and worse to me and everyone else.

I shrugged, "I ask myself the same thing every day," I answered with a somber smile.

She shook her head, her jaw working and the longer she stared at me, the more her eyes watered, "It's just not fair," She added and her reaction had me gulp down, my chest tightening uncomfortably.

"I am so sorry, Emma," She spoke, genuinely, before she flipped my words upside down with a few words, "Sorry I couldn't keep my promise to your mother and get you out of here."

Everything in me shut down after and my heart sprinted off, "You knew my mother?" I whispered, breathlessly.

I had questioned every damn maid in this house before, I had asked them all, and tried to get answers because my mom was one of them. I needed one thing, information; about who she was, what she looked like, did she ever love me, how did Isaac do it, how did he kill her so I can make his death a hundred times more painful...but no one ever gave me any answers, all scared of Isaac and what he could do to them, so I stopped asking, and I gave up searching for clues.

She nodded her head, anguish in her eyes as she said, "Of course, I did," She said, her hand reaching forward and tucking my hair behind her ear, "She was my daughter."

My eyes grew wide at her words, expecting anything but them, the heart that was racing in my chest halted to a sudden stop, and the blood in my veins ran cold, "You are lying," I said, refusing to believe that she was here all along and never said a damn thing.

She shook her head, "I am not, Emma, you are my granddaughter, and I know I shouldn't be telling you this now," A few tears scrolled down her face, heartbreak wove in her words as she looked at me whole and at my bruised beaten up state, "But I can't keep silent anymore."

I was already physically weak and she was draining me mentally and emotionally. She placed her hand in her pocket and pulled something out. She took my hand into hers, placing something cold in my palm. I gulped down, my wide gaze falling on the locket in my grip, "Your mother, she always wore this," She said and I could feel the tears rush into my eyes blurring them as I opened the locket, staring down at the two images it held at each side.

"This was her," She whispered, ever so brokenly, "And this is you," She added, addressing the baby picture on the other side.

I shook my head and furious tears fell down into my palm, my fingers shaking over the thing. I shook my head and pushed it back into her hands, "No, no, I don't want this," I grated out, shaking my head again and again, "Get out of here, you don't...you don't have the right to do this to me now!"

"I am so sorry but they didn't let me tell you anything."

They?

I sniffled and furiously wiped at my cheek, hating this more than I thought I ever will, "Who? Isaac?"

She nodded her head, "Yes," She said before she broke my heart yet again, "And Nikolas."

********************************

Hello :)

In this chapter, Nik got a slap from Nate, in the next one, he will get it from Emma lol xD
poor nik's cheek xD

What's are your thoughts about the chapter?
Hope you liked it!

Don't know when the next update will be. I seem to write better when there is no definite date.

See ya soon :)