"La douleur exquise:
- (n.) the heart wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable."

**********

Nikolas's POV

It has been a while since I last felt like this.

Powerful.

The one in control.

And damn it, but I had missed it.

I could run from it as much as I want, but darkness was my sweet drug, intoxicating and so addictive. It's exhilarating, always bringing me up to a different high, a one I'll never be able to detoxify from. I don't think I even want to.

I like being this way; The puppet master, the one pulling at the strings and moving them around, twisting and crashing just as I please. The game was mine now, and so were the rules.

I rubbed a hand over my chin, a small smile pulling one corner of my lips up as I leaned back in my seat, my eyes focused on the laptop's screen, watching what the security camera of the building's entrance was reflecting at this exact moment.

I watched him and his men barge inside, ready to surprise me, he thinks. As if I haven't been stalking his every move, and watching every step. I knew he would show up here any moment now, ready to fight and threaten, thinking it will make me fall weak again and immediately deliver him his precious heir back.

I closed down the laptop's screen and got up to my feet, I opened the alcohol cabinet, and pulled out the Jim Beam bourbon bottle. I was saving this one for a good occasion. Seems fitting for this moment in exact. I opened the cap and took two glasses, placing them over the counter as I poured the right amount into each one.

My fingers wrapped around the glass and just as I brought it to my lips, the main door of my apartment got pushed open and three men marched in, with guns aimed high, at me. So dramatic. I casually took my first sip, my taste buds sinking into the authentic taste of the oaky vanilla followed by the spice backdrop. I licked my lips and almost hummed in satisfaction. It was a great drink, I better offer Alex some next time, he would totally like it.

From behind the three men, he made his way inside, walking close and coming to a stop a few miles away from where I was standing.

His eyes hardened, anger and rage twisted his expression into something utterly wild. Jaw tight and hands fisted on each side. He is usually the taunting one, the calm composed one as he played with my life. Not anymore.

"Where is he, Nikolas?" He grated out through clenched teeth, just as another two men walked inside and searched my apartment whole. Amateurs.

I leaned my back against the counter and took another sip, "You really think I would just hide him here, do you think that low of me, father?" I mumbled, enjoying my drink just as much as I was enjoying infuriating him.

He took an enraged step forward, leaving only a few centimeters between us, the look of a mad man swirling in his dark eyes as he shot out, "Answer me, Nikolas, or I swear to god-"

"This tastes so good," I hummed as I rested my empty glass on the counter before I pushed the other one toward him, "You should try it, it could calm you down," My head tilted slightly and my eyebrows pulled closer in fake worry, "You do look a little bit tensed."

A loud groan rumbled from him just as his hand moved in utter bewilderment, pushing the glass off the counter, making it fall and crash to the floor. I looked at him, disappointed, my eyebrow raised, "Come on, that was expensive," I said.

"You fucking shit!" He snapped and came so close, his nose almost touching mine, his whole being vibrating with something so vicious, trying to intimidate me but I was so past that by now, "You think you will get away with this! You think I wouldn't torture and kill everyone you care about-"

"Okay, not cool, now you are making me angry," I said, my jaw ticking. My whole expression shifted, dropping the cool act as I curled my hands over his shirt and pushed him backward, taking the upper hand as I slammed his back against the wall. His men moved so fast, surrounding us from all sides, their guns pointed at me, the barrels almost touching my back, ready for one order to fire up.

"I advise you to be wise," I grated out, my eyes staring straight into his, just as his hands wrapped over my wrists, ready to push me away, "Anything happens to me, anything at all, and your precious heir will be delivered back to you in pieces," I said, the warning evident and clear in my tone.

His men stood still, not moving and my eyebrow raised at him, "Don't gamble with me, father," I threatened, "If you really think I won't do it, just remember all the horrible things I've done before."

Even though he tried to hide it, the worry for that kid was eating him up alive and I took pleasure in every second of it. He looked both left and right, "Lower your guns!" He snapped at his men and they immediately moved away, dropping their guns down.

I untangled my fingers from around his shirt, casually fixing the collar that I ruined before I tapped my hand over his shoulder, "See, I like it when we understand each other."

His fingers curled into a fist, wanting to smash my face but trying to be careful still, he knows I am the one whose a step ahead this time and he doesn't like it one bit, "Don't make me repeat myself, where.is.he?" He grated out, stressing loudly on each word.

I shrugged, "And why would I tell you that?" I smiled, "This is not how this works," I added, looking around at his men then back at him, "I am the one with the leverage here, don't ever forget that, you are playing my game now," I stated, "I am the one who will assign the rules this time and you will follow each one of them," My jaw tightened as I addressed his previous threat, "You dare come near anyone in my life and I will start with cutting his fingers first, then his arms, then his legs," I shrugged, "You know the drill, you know exactly how this works."

Each word added fire into his eyes, he was so close to losing it and I wanted him to lose it just so I can put him back in his place, and show his men what their leader is made of.

"I was raised by Frank, after all, I might've learned a trick or two from him," I added, my tone bitter and convincing.

"You will pay for this," His words shook with the intensity of his rage, the fury painting and changing his skin into a red inflamed shade.

My jaw ticked, "I already paid for it, father."

"What do you want, huh?" He snapped, his voice bellowing and slamming against the walls, "What do you want in return?!"

Does he think we gonna make a deal over this? Seriously...he amuses me sometimes.

I shook my head, ever so innocently, "Nothing," I said, simply, using his own words against him, "I am just...having fun."

He rushed a shaking hand over his face, trying to keep himself from exploding and unraveling at the seams, "You've crossed a big line, Nikolas, don't think you are so smart," He grated out, his chest heaving up with every breath he took, "I will find him and when I do, you will pay for this with your blood."

I crossed my arms over my chest, observing him and his body language, how much riled up he seemed to be and this time I didn't find any pleasure in watching him squirm. Instead, it made me angry and made me hate him even more.

"I think you should take it down a notch," My eyebrow raised, trying to keep my cool act going on for as long as I can, "This rage must not be good for your health, given your age and all," I added, "Might end up with a heart attack, we don't want that now, do we? I want you alive and breathing to witness everything I'll do to him-"

A loud groan rumbled from his throat, stripping his control away and he marched forward, his fist flying in the air, ready for it to meet my face but my reflexes were just as fast, my hand stopped his fist, wrapped around it, and harshly pushed it backward. My other hand went to his neck, my fingers wrapping around his flesh, squeezing at it as I slammed the back of his head against the wall.

His men couldn't handle seeing their boss in this state and they aggressively moved closer, "Sir-" One of them started to speak, waiting for an order from him.

My gaze flickered to him for a quick second as I spoke, loud and clear, "If you want me to snap your boss's neck, you will dare to take another step closer," My harsh words froze him in his spot, his wide eyes flickering to Isaac and I focused my attention on my father only, "It won't be long before I take over and get your precious throne, the one that you worked so hard for it, it will soon be mine, I promise," My nails dug into his flesh as I tightened my grip, "Then, I will take pleasure in killing everyone that follows you," My words were directed at his men as well, hoping they got the message.

Isaac writhed under my grip, wanting to break free, he can break free if he wants, I know that his fighting skills could easily measure up to mine, if not a bit better. But he was scared, afraid to cause me harm because it will indirectly harm Nathan back.

He really fucking loves him, I was testing it only but he keeps exceeding my expectations. I thought power meant everything for him, but no, this kid meant hell a lot, why? What's so special about him?

I loosened my grip, letting him free, grasping back my control, or else I would've snapped his neck right then and there. But no, I don't want it to be this easy. I want him to pay, to suffer, just like he made her suffer all those years.

"He is just a kid," Isaac grated out, trying to reach that soft spot in me that had a weakness for kids.

I nodded, "I was a kid too," I stated back, "You didn't save me from Frank, claiming that I needed some toughening up, right," I shrugged, "It's exactly what I am doing now," I nodded, mockery in my tone, "I will just toughen him up, so he can live up to the Viarchi name."

"If I see a scratch on him, Nikolas, just one scratch, and I swear I will rip Max into pieces right in front of your eyes," He was triggering me and I let him, I allowed him to bring the monster up. A groan rumbled from my chest and he stopped talking only because my fist viciously collided with his jaw, pushing him backward, staggering and drawing blood out but I wanted more, I wanted to crush him down under my shoe, I wanted him to beg and cry, I wanted him to know what it feels like to lose someone you love...

One of his men's hands came to my shoulder, ready to stop me but I was past making sense, my hand curled over his, twisting it as I quickly whirled around, my leg aiming for his stomach, pushing him away giving me enough space to pull my gun out, aiming it at the man's head and firing without hesitation. I looked at the others, my gun still aimed high, "If anyone has a death wish, come forward, I dare you!" I snapped, unable to keep my cool anymore.

When they didn't move, I turned back, marching forward toward the old man, I curled my hand over his collar, "I was leaving, you fucker, I was giving up, I was going to give it all up for you, give you the whole stage to do whatever the fuck you pleased, I was grant you what you wanted the most!" I bellowed, the anger of her loss, the agony I keep pushing inside resurfacing, "You had everything, you could've lived with your son for as long as you wanted, so why...why did you have to kill her!"

I used both hands to shake him, unable to accept that fact yet, "Why?!" I snapped, my throat burning and so did my eyes, "I had to watch you abuse her as a kid, then I had to witness Frank do just the same, as if that wasn't enough, I also had to watch her suffer as she tried to get her sanity back in that asylum, you took everything from her you asshole, everything," I pushed him back so harshly, unable to hold back as I threw another punch to his face, the force had him stumbling down and I crouched, leveling myself with him.

With his collar, I pulled him closer, forcing him to face me, "You took everything from me, my childhood, my brother, everything," I growled, the intensity of the feelings ripping at my inside watered my eyes, blinding me with so much fury; an affliction I will never be free from, "You took everything and I was okay with it, so why couldn't you just give me my mother, why did you have to take her away as well!"

He said nothing, he only stared back at me, blood dripping down his mouth, but his eyes never gave up, unconquerable as always. They gave me a hundred different promises, that this doesn't end here, that he might not fight me back at this moment because of Nathan but he will get his revenge back in the most ruthless way.

I let go of him, stepping away. I rushed a shaking hand over my face, pulling myself off that edge before I fall too deep. Isaac got up to his feet, gathering himself and the back of his hand wiped at his mouth. His eyes fell on the blood there, and his jaw ticked, not accepting his defeat yet.

His eyebrow raised as he stared back at me, "What will your girlfriend think when she discovers that you are hurting her baby bother?" He taunted, thinking he can use Natalie against me. No, not anymore.

I shook my head, "I don't care," I said, "You see, nothing, no feeling is more intense than my hate toward you, so don't think you can use her against me," I said, a part of me believing in those words, "By the end of the day, I can live without her, but I can't live in a world with you breathing and alive."

"So, better accept it father, you have nothing to threaten me with anymore, exposing who I am to her," I shrugged, "Go ahead, I don't care, it's who I am, it's who I will always be, people will either accept it or not, it's up to them," I said, my confidence and unwavering state had his expression shift, not satisfied with my reaction,

"Do your worst, I've got nothing to lose anymore."

***************

Emma's POV

"Achoo," I sneezed for the umpteenth time today. The fuck is wrong with me...

I pulled a napkin from the nightstand when I felt another one coming, I pushed my nose into the soft fabric and sneezed again...then again...and another one. Fuck.

Okay, I think it's ove-

Oh no, another sneeze came and my napkin was already ruined.

Holy hell, I am malfunctioning. Something is wrong with me, I need to get up, go work out, do something and reboot my system.

I could feel my nose tingling again and my throat getting all scratchy. I pulled another napkin just in time to catch my millionth sneeze of the day. Ugh, I am getting angry now, fuck this shit!

Roman popped his head out of the bathroom, his eyes falling on me, lines etched on his forehead as he walked closer, using the towel in his hands to dry his wet hair, "Are you okay?" He asked, a bit of concern wove into his words as he sat on the bed's edge next to me.

I nodded, waving my hand in the air like it's nothing, "Yeah, yeah, it's allergies only," My eyes widened, "Why does my voice sound like this?" I rubbed at my throat, I sounded so funny, how am I supposed to intimidate people when my voice is like this?!

What's happening to me? Am I going to die...

Roman's lips twitched before he inched his hand closer to my face, using the back of it to gently tap it over my forehead and cheeks, "It's not allergies, Emma," He suddenly inched his face closer, and his lips rested over my forehead and I tried to look up at him dumbfounded, "Why are you kissing my forehead now?" Always an idiot.

He chuckled, pulling back, "You have a fever," He commented.

My eyebrow raised, "No, I don't."

He nodded, "Yes, you do, you're burning up," He said and I shrugged, "It's because I am so hot, the main reason you married me for."

His eyebrow raised, "Honey, you're sick."

I shot him a glare, he knows how much I hate the honey word, someone wants their neck scratched with my knives I guess, "No, I am not!" I grumbled out, "I don't get sick," I stated, "Also, we are basing that theory on the fact that your lips worked as a thermometer," I shot back, "Idiot, I am totally fine!"

I pushed him out of my way, having enough of his nonsense as I dangled my feet and got off the bed. The second I hit the ground, the whole room twirled around me, darkness swarmed my vision and my everything blurred for a long second.

I tried to hold into anything close, "Woah..."

I immediately felt Roman's hand wrap over my arm, pulling me back into the bed, "See, you are sick," He said, his tone not as playful as before, more serious now as he pulled my legs up and let them rest over the bed, tucking me back in.

I blinked both my eyes, trying to get my eyesight back, holy fuck, what was that...

I shook my head, my lips forming a pout, "I am not sick, I don't wanna be sick," I whined.

Roman inched closer and fixed the pillow behind me, trying to get me all comfortable, his bare chest pressing all over me in the process. Oh man, he was triggering my hormones now. I would so love to dip him in chocolate and lick him all over. Just as the thought crossed my mind, another sneeze raced up my nose, it came so fast I had no time to pull my napkin out, my face moved forward, sneezing all over his bare chest and splashing my germs everywhere. Damn, too much for licking...

He edged backward, his gaze flickering from his chest then back to me, his eyebrow raising, and I pouted, "Sorry," I mumbled guiltily. A small soft smile touched his lips and he shook his head. His hand came to my face, cupping my cheek and caressing my skin, "It's okay, baby," He said, "But see, even the mighty Emma will get sick sometimes," He tried to reason with me, "It's your body asking you to take a break and rest."

I shook my head, "I don't want to rest," I whined, pouting again.

He nodded, "Yes, you will," He stressed out, sternly, "You are not getting out of this bed today," He pointed out and I smirked, "Is this your way of indirectly asking me to..." Another sneeze, I wiped at my nose, "...have sex."

So sexy, Emma, so very sexy...

He sighed at my nonsense and dismissed the topic, "I will go get you some soup and medicines, we'll let your temperature go down a bit, and then we'll do whatever you want, but you need to take this day off, okay?"

I sank into the pillow, frowning at the thought, "Will you stay with me?" I asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, of course."

A small smile pulled at my lips, "Will you have sex with me to make me feel better?"

His eyebrow raised and he shook his head, "But...but," I tried to protest and he still shook his head.

I lightly slapped his arm, "Are you disgusted by me?" Where is my knife? God, I am so tired to even pull it out...

He chuckled, "Of course not, but if we both get sick, who will take care of us," He said and I shrugged, "It's okay, we will stay in bed all day long and have sex till we get better," I gave him a sheepish smile, "Best remedy."

He chuckled again and I shot him a glare, "What are you laughing at?"

"You just look so cute, with your nose all red and your voice sounding this funny as you try to seduce me."

I crossed my arms over my chest, "When I don't feel so tired and exhausted anymore, I will pull my knife and scratch your neck."

He nodded, inching closer and leaving a small kiss on my cheek, "Okay baby, now just rest, I will go to the pharmacy and be back quickly."

I reached for his arm, stopping him from going, "Don't go," I pouted, "What if I died?"

He chuckled, amused by sick-high-on-fever me, "Don't worry, I won't let that happen," He said, kissing the back of the hand I used to reach for him.

"Promise?" I mumbled.

He nodded with a small smile, "I promise."

He wore up and left the house after, and my exhaustion had me fall asleep again. I don't for how long, all I felt after was my body terribly aching, everywhere sore like I was run over by a truck. My throat felt like it's on fire, throbbing with so much pain, and my nose burned up with that tingling feeling.

"Hmmm," I mumbled, lowly groaning as the ache took the best of me. I moved my head left and right, too tired to even pry my eyes open. I felt something cold over my forehead, a cloth or something, and I felt someone's hand resting over mine and caressing my face from time to time.

"Roman?" I mumbled, my voice getting even worse, all tight and gravelly.

"Yes, I am here," It felt like his voice was coming from a different country but I could feel his warmness, just near me.

"I feel so cold," I mumbled, my voice barely coming out, "Hug me, please," I said, feeling another shiver race down my spine. He shifted around, his arm going under me, "Come here," I heard him mumble as he tucked me closer, his warmness enveloping me whole and decreasing my ache as he held me so close.

I buried my face into his chest, my arm tiredly sneaked around his waist, clinging to him, because I felt so weak and I hated to feel weak, but he makes feeling weak not that bad of a thing. I felt his lips press over the top of my head, "You will feel better soon," he assured me, worry evident in his voice as he added, "And if you don't, I will call a doctor here, okay?"

I hummed, burying myself deeper into him, "Do you worry about me?"

"Of course I do, all the time."

A small smile touched my lips, "I worry about you too, I don't think I will be able to live without you," I mumbled against his skin.

"That won't happen," He assured me and I nodded my head, believing him. I won't let it happen.

"I wanna make a baby with you," I don't know what the hell I was saying. My brain cells were probably drugged by the high temperature surging through my whole body.

I felt his chest vibrate a little, amused by my silly words, "Believe me, I want that too."

"I had a dream just now," I mumbled, "It felt so real," I added, sighing as the remnants of it surged through my conscious mind. I pried my eyes open, just slightly as I tilted my face up, meeting his beautiful eyes, "We had a small baby, he was sooooo small," A smile pulled at my lips, "But he was so pretty, he looked just like you."

The same smile reflected on his face, happy at the thought like me, "You named him Wyatt, you said it meant brave, and he was gonna be the bravest boy there is," I mumbled, my eyebrows pulling closer, "If we have a boy, can we name him Wyatt?"

A longing look took over his eyes, a hundred different emotions fought in them, darkening them and he nodded his head, "Of course," He moved his other hand to my face, tucking my hair behind my ear, "We can name him whatever you want."

I lowered my gaze, looking at his chest as I moved my fingers over his skin, drawing random patterns, "I never thought I will have this, you know," I mumbled, "A husband, or a family, it felt...so far away from my reach, and sometimes it still feels so far away."

"They told us in the HEX that we can't have families, that it would be a weakness, that it would jeopardize our missions," I was randomly speaking, and Roman intently listened to every word, "Do you know...that one of the last steps before graduating, they do a surgery, a one that so we can never have any kids after," His arms involuntarily tightened over me, as if trying to shield me away of that past, "Nikolas saved me from there just right before they were gonna do it to me," I mumbled, "It's why I feel like I owe him my life."

I felt Roman's lips over the top of my head, I looked up at him to see that agonized helpless look take over his eyes and expression, like he so badly wanted to change that part of my life but just can't. You simply can't change the past.

He shook his head, softly whispering, "You had no fault to go through any of that."

I looked at him, reflecting on an inner struggle I've shown no one before, "I know that...that place made me who I am today, and sometimes...I like who I am, but...but it took a big chunk out of me, a one I don't think I can ever get back."

I felt his hand gently wipping under my eyes, brushing something away; was I even crying?

He shook his head in anger, his jaw ticking, his voice had an edge as he grated out, "What kind of father does this to his own daughter?"

I shrugged, "At first, he wanted a heir, but much to his disappointment, I was a girl," I mumbled, repeating what he once told me, "So he thought he could at least make from me a soldier."

"He wanted a prince, but he got a princess, too bad for him," I added with a scoff.

Roman ran his hand through my hair, pushing the sweaty strands from over my forehead, "His loss, you would've been the best king to rule his stupid kingdom," He said, turning his tone playful for my sake, "Or queen, whichever one you prefer."

I smiled, "I prefer king."

He returned my smile and nodded, "Okay my beautiful king, how do you feel now?"

"A bit better," I mumbled, I was still all out of sorts but, "I think I will survive, so don't gloat yet, you ain't getting rid of me that easily."

He leaned down and pecked my lips, "Oh baby, I am with you till the end of the times," He said, earning a low chuckle from me at his teasing tone.

"Don't kiss me," I shot out, pushing at his chest, "Don't wanna get you sick too."

He shrugged, "It will be worth it."

Idiot, my lovely idiot husband.

"Okay unless you want me to sneeze in your face, quickly give me a napkin," I said in a hurry trying to suppress it down as he took a napkin from the side and covered my nose, almost suffocating me as he pulled at it.

I chuckled after my sneeze and slapped his arm away. He smiled as he wiped at my nose, taking care of me with these small little gestures, something no one before him ever did.

I stared at him for a long second, admiring all that he is. I must've done something right in my life to be rewarded by this.

Roman's eyebrow raised, "What?" He asked.

I shook my head, "I am just glad your father and my father made a deal all those years ago, forcing us to get together and marry," I said and his grin grew wider.

"Yeah, me too," He answered, "My life would've been so boring without this craziness and all these knives," He said as he pulled one of my knives from under the pillow.

I shot him a glare and snatched my knife, "Shut up, you love this craziness and you like my knives, you are just as kinky as me."

He chuckled and nodded his head, leaning down and stealing another kiss from my lips. Hmm, who thought being sick could make you feel this good?

**************

Next Day...

Nikolas's POV

I knocked again on the door and waited for her to respond. I pushed my hands into my front pockets, my gaze drifting around me, my mind going back to yesterday and the way she looked all out of sorts, a bit shaken up as she left my house.

I haven't heard anything from her since then. Even Alex looked a bit distraught as he walked away.

Something must've happened between them, but for the love of me I can't come up with what it could possibly be.

My eyebrows pulled closer and I knocked again. It is Saturday, so I know she is not at the clinic, and her car is parked downstairs so I am sure she is in there.

Just as I was about to knock for the fourth time, I heard footsteps get closer. A few seconds later, the knob twisted and the door got opened. Natalie's eyes fell on me, and usually, her eyes would light up, she would greet me with a big smile, urging me to come inside but right now, she had that same closed-off look she wore when she left my house.

"Hey," I was the first one to speak.

"Hey," She mumbled lowly, wrapped her arms around herself and silently stood there, as if waiting for me to explain why I am here.

"I called you last night," I explained, "When you didn't answer, I got a bit worried," I added and she nodded, "Yeah, just been feeling a bit under the weather," She mumbled, rushing a hand over her face. She did look pale and tired, maybe a bit sick even.

I wanted to step forward, wrap her in my arms, and wipe away that tired look from over her face but something about her energy kept me at a distance. I really need to know what happened yesterday, she isn't acting like herself anymore.

"Can I come in," My eyebrow raised, my tone turning playful, "Or should I just leave?"

She took a step to the side, clearing my way, "Sorry, of course, come in," She said, although I still felt not welcomed.

I took a step inside and she closed the door behind me. We both took a couple of steps toward the living room. I paused when I could no longer handle this awkward tension wrapping around us. She halted to a stop as well, her eyes on me, questioning, "What's wrong?" I asked, my eyebrows pulling closer in utter confusion, "What happened yesterday?"

Her throat bobbed at the mention of it and she shook her head, "Nothing important," She mumbled, keeping it vague, "I was just pushing my nose into what doesn't concern me."

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Before I could question more, she added, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something," Her eyes fell into mine, so serious, "I think we are rushing back into this, and we really shouldn't," She said, explaining, "We drifted apart for a reason."

I crossed my arms over my chest as I faced her, needing to hear her reason whole, "That wasn't what you said when you flew all the way to the UK," I said, I wasn't going to drop this as easily as I did the last time.

She nodded her head, "I was worried about you," She justified her actions, "Your mother passed away and you know, tragedy brings people closer, I got wrapped up in that, but...but yesterday proved to me that I am not ready to throw myself back into your life."

Lines etched my forehead, "What the hell happened yesterday?" I was getting angry at this clueless state, "I just went to take a shower for god's sake." What the hell drastically changed in those couple of minutes?

A low sigh pushed off her lips and her gaze drifted to the floor, gathering her thoughts before she faced me again, "Can you please leave?"

I shook my head, "No," I said and her eyes widened, not expecting me to question her this time.

"I am not leaving till I hear an explanation."

"Nikolas-" She started to say, trying to stop me from digging more.

"Natalie, you can't keep doing this," I said, interrupting her, "You can't be in my arms one day and then the next come and tell me we can't be together, this is the second time you are doing it, so I need an explanation, I am not dropping it off that easily this time," Because I could sense something else holding her back, and I needed to know what it is.

For god's sake, just before I went to take a shower, she was kissing me, smiling laughing, and teasing me. A couple of minutes can't drastically change someone's perspective that much, unless...

She already asked about Lilly when we were in the UK, maybe what she unraveled there pushed her to get more information from Alex. Possible. I need to talk with Alex.

Her lips parted, ready to speak when someone banged on her door, so loudly, almost like he could tear it apart. Her distressed gaze flickered there, confused and before she could go open it, I stopped her, my hand near my gun as I opened the door, ready to fight.

My hand left the gun and I rolled my eyes at the sight that welcomed me, "What the hell are you doing here?" Ronald grumbled out, glaring at me.

"What are you doing here?" I shot back, and why the hell was he about to knock the door down just now?

His gaze flickered to Natalie before he looked inside the house, stepping closer, a bit on edge as he looked all around us, "Well, since I discovered that you are in my sister's life," His gaze fell on me again, "Thank you very much for that by the way," He sarcastically added, "I've been keeping surveillance around her place, you know, just in case."

"What?" Natalie shot out, her eyes growing wide, not satisfied with that fact.

Ronald regarded her with a hard look, "What do you expect me to do when you date the likes of him," He grumbled out, addressing me with disgust and I couldn't hold myself from smacking the back of his head since he was standing right ahead of me.

He turned around, glaring at me as he rubbed at his head, "Anyway," He stressed out loudly, "There has been someone roaming around here since we got back from the UK," He explained, "Call it a hunch, but I have a bad feeling about it," His eyes kept flickering all around the house, as if expecting to catch someone hiding in some corner.

"What does that mean?" Natalie asked, her worried eyes flickering from Ronald and to me, "Who is it?"

"I am not sure," Ronald mumbled lowly as he stepped into the living room, looking out of the window and around the place, "I am just hoping it is not what I am thinking it is," He added, more to himself as his eyes caught mine, both of us exchanging a silent message.

My jaw ticked at the thought only, the possibility wasn't that slim. Joseph saw her, if he just looked more into who she is, it won't be long before he figures it out, that if he hasn't already. Sensing that Ronald was on point, I moved around the house, assessing the situation as well.

I moved inside, heading for her bedroom, ignoring Natalie who shot out behind me, "Where are you going to?!"

I opened the drapes, pushing them aside as I looked outside of the window, trying to figure out which place would give someone a direct sight path into this house. Natalie came behind me, "I don't understand, what is happening?" She shot out, a bit bewildered at our actions.

"Nikolas, answer me-"

"Can you stop talking, please," I grumbled out, trying to concentrate. I caught a glimpse of some movements from across the roof of the building facing us. It was discrete but it didn't take me long to notice him.

My eyes widened and I moved so fast, my hand wrapping over Nate's and pulling her away from the window, pushing her into the nearest corner just as gunshots penetrated through the glass, shattering it into pieces before they hit the bed's mattress, not one, not two, the rifle released way too many shots at once.

The shock of what happened had a whimper leave Natalie's lips just as she tugged at my shirt, pushing herself closer, and seeking safety in my embrace. The attack even had the cat shriek and she ran toward us so fast, terrified and burying herself between our feet, seeking the same safety.

I pushed Natalie's hair away from her face. I still had her cornered against the wall, "You are okay," I mumbled, unable to register what could've happened if I was only one second late in pushing her away.

Ronald marched into the room, his wide eyes falling on us, "What-"

"She is fine," I said, just as she pushed herself away from, getting back to herself.

His jaw ticked as he observed the room, "I was fucking right," He grumbled out, rushing a frustrated hand through his hair and I immediately pulled my phone out.

Natalie's fear-filled eyes flickered to her window, then to the shattered glass all over the floor, and after that, they went to her bed, the one she sleeps on every night, thinking she is tucked safely...it was now filled with bullet holes, "Who...who did this?" She said, her voice shook a bit and before she could move forward, I pulled her back and away from the window.

Her wide eyes flickered to me just as she pulled her arm away from my grip, "Is it your father?"

I finished up my text, ordering a couple of my men to come here and finish up the fucker waiting at the roof still.

I pushed my phone into my pocket and shook my head, "My father wouldn't do this."

My eyes went to Ronald and he looked one step away from exploding over this fact, "It's your fault!" He shot out and I held him back with the same hard glare, "If I remember correctly, I asked you to put her on the first plane away from there, didn't I!" I snapped back. I fucking knew something like this would happen.

I rushed a hand over my face, "Blaming each other isn't gonna help anyone right now," I added and Ronald huffed. I turned to Natalie, "Get whatever you need from here, you are coming with me," I stated, "You're not staying one more second in this house."

Lines etched between her eyebrow, "What? No, no, I am not going anywhere until one of you explains what is happening," She shot out, "Who is after me? If not your father, then who?"

When we both stayed silent, she added again, "Say something, who?!"

"Natalie, just pack up your things now, I will explain it later-"

"No, no, I am not listening to you!" She shot out, "I don't believe a word coming out of your mouth," What? "Explain it now, what is happening, who is out there?"

"Natalie, I don't say this often but Nikolas is right," Ronald interfered, being on my side for once, "We need to get you out of here, I've worked on this hard enough, if he had figured out who you are, then-" Ronald shook his head, unable to come to terms with this fact, he fisted his hair in his hands, trying to keep himself calm, "Fuck-" He grumbled under his breath.

She turned to me, seeking an answer, an explanation, anything. I dismissed the topic, I didn't know how to explain it to her anyway, "Let's just go, it's not safe here."

"You two are gonna drive me mad!" She shot out, unable to take it anymore and I don't really blame her, "Tell me what's happening, now!" She added, and when we didn't give her what she wanted, she stubbornly moved away, going for the window, looking outside, trying to see if she can figure it out herself. My eyes widened and I marched forward immediately, my grip tight as I pulled her away, just in time as another wave of gunshots got fired into the house.

"Are you crazy!" I snapped as I kept her pinned against the wall, far away from the window and the rifle's reach.

She tried to move away from me but I stopped her, "Natalie!" I shot out, tightening my grip over her arm, needing her to focus. She was all out of sorts, I am unable to understand her or her actions.

"Leave me, leave me!" She snapped, her eyes wide with fear, doubt, and anger as she struggled away from me.

"Tell me what is happening, who is after me!"

I couldn't take it anymore, so the words tumbled out before I could stop them, "It's your uncle!"

"I don't have an uncle!" She shot back with the same distaste in her tone.

"Yes, you do and believe me, he would want you dead."

Her jaw tightened, and fury wrapped up her expression, it darkened the color of her eyes, almost like she didn't believe me. She punched at my chest, multiple times, trying to push me away and break free from my hold, "Why are you lying?!" Another punch, "What bullshit is this, why would he want me dead-"

"Because he killed your mother!"

My words were enough to stop her struggle, her fist against my chest paused its movements. She blinked, once, twice, before her eyes flickered up to mine, and I didn't want her to ever know this fact because I never wanted to see this devastation in her eyes, "Wha...what do you mean?" She whispered, her hand shaking as she tried to grasp what I said.

Her eyes flickered to Ronald, questioning, seeking an answer from him as well. His expression shifted from anger and distraught into a feeling resembling hers. He looked away and edged backward from us, unable to face her with the truth.

Her wide eyes went back to me, begging me to tell the truth, "My mother died in an accident-" She shook her head, "I don't...I don't belive you," Her chest heaved, unable to carry the weight of this truth just yet.

"I am sorry, but it's the truth," I whispered back, "I will tell you everything," I gently wrapped my hand over her arm, caressing her skin and urging her to listen to me, "But now, please let me get you out of here, it is not safe-"

"No, no," She shook her head, pulling herself away from me as she breathlessly whispered, "No, I am not going anywhere with you, get away from me," Her voice was shaking, on the verge of breaking and I stepped backward because I knew she needed space to breathe and allow the truth to sink in.

She covered her mouth with her hand, "No," she mumbled, the tears swimming in her eyes before one escaped and fell down, "Oh my god, mom," She gasped, her back pressing into the wall, using it as an anchor to hold herself up. My fist tightened at the side, my jaw ticking because I felt so fucking helpless in front of her pain, so fucking helpless because she is not even giving me the chance to help her deal with it.

She asked me to stay away but I couldn't, her tears near undid me. If she expects me to stand still as she breaks down in front me, then she has another thing coming. She was the one who always had it all figured out, the composed calm one, but today, she wasn't like herself at all, and this news...it didn't help her case at all.

I edged forward, trying to be careful, "Natalie," I whispered, urging her to face me, her hurtful eyes met mine, the tears falling down and fuck, I couldn't stop the rage throbbing in my veins, because I wanted to kill anyone who caused those beautiful eyes to bleed this way, but something, somewhere in her gaze told me that I was the reason behind those tears. That it was all just my fault somehow.

I offered her my hand, my eyes begging her to just listen to me now, to let me take her away from here and she can scream at me as much as she wants later on. She shook her head, the tears soaking her cheeks and I added, "Please-"

"No, leave me alone, go away," She cried out, her voice breaking down more as she sank into the floor, "I don't want you, god, I hate how my life became after you came into it," She said those words as she looked around the destroyed room, addressing how it was because of me.

I tried not to get affected by them, but her words were like a punch to my stomach.

I stepped backward, my jaw tight and I looked away from her. My eyes on Ronald and I nodded my head toward her, asking him to fucking interfere. If she didn't listen to me, maybe she will listen to her brother.

He crouched down by her side, his hand reaching forward to her face, gently wiping away some of her tears, and asking her to look at him. She sniffled and shook her head, "It's not true, tell me it's not-" She mumbled, "It was an accident, Ronald-"

He shook his head, "I really wish it was just an accident-" He tucked her hair behind her ear, "I will tell you everything, I promise, but we need to get you out of here, I know this man, and he is dangerous, he will want nothing more than to hurt us, so please listen to me this time," He whispered, "I've lost enough Natalie, I can't afford to lose you too."

"Okay?" He asked when she kept silent and she finally nodded her head, listening to him.

I walked out of the room, apparently not very welcomed, as she gathered herself up. I went around, closing all the drapes, trying to keep him unaware until my men get to him.

I hate how my life became after you came into it.

Those weren't her words yesterday, or back at the funeral...

Fuck, it shouldn't hurt this much, but it does. I tried to convince myself that maybe it is the shock of it all, she just learned that her mother was killed, that the same man is after her...it is too much to take in all at once.

I sat down on the couch as I waited for them, I pulled my phone out, dailing Alex because I just needed to know.

"Do I really have to hear your voice everyday?" He started.

I sighed, "What happened yesterday?" I immediately shot my question.

"Lots of things happened," He said, "I went to work, I had lunch, I came back home, played with the kids, had some sex-"

"Alex," I stressed out, because he knew exactly what I meant.

He let out a loud breath, "She was asking about Max," he said, his tone turning a hundred eighty degree.

My eyebrows pulled closer, "What...how?"

"I don't know, but I think she knows that...that you know," He grumbled out, "That your sperm made part of him," He just had to phrase it that way.

"Anyway, if she wants to figure out the truth, let her, I don't care, but can both of you please do it far away from me and my kids," He added, his tone held an edge, "I didn't like her behavior yesterday at all, something was just off, so like I said, until you two figure this relationship thing out, make sure none of it affects Cara or Max in any way," He had a point there and I understood where he was coming from, "I'd really hate for us to fight again, Nikolas."

I rushed a hand over my face, rubbing at my eyes, "Yeah, me too," I mumbled, my mind busy thinking of whatever theories she made up in her mind about this whole situation, "I'll talk to you later."

I hung up after and got lost in my thoughts, only to be interrupted by the animal jumping up on my lap. I almost flinched at the sudden action and I shot the thing a glare as it rubbed its head all over my chest before it curled itself into a small ball in my lap.

Well, unlike her owner, she doesn't seem to be repelled by me.

I placed my hand over her head, lightly brushing her soft furr. She made some noises, those that reflected she was probably satisfied and pleasured with the attention, "Can you at least tell me what's wrong?" I mumbled and she looked up at me and said something that sounded like, "Meow."

I nodded my head and my jaw ticked, "Yeah, I totally understood that."

Useless animal.

Not long after, Natalie and Ronald came out of the room, a small bag in Ronlad's hand and the traitor cat immediately jumped off my lap and rushed toward Natalie, rubbing herself between her legs. A small smile touched Natalie's lips as she bent down and picked her up, she opened the cat bag and placed her inside.

I moved closer to Ronald and threw the car key's at his direction, he caught them right in time as I said, "Bring the car to the building's entrance," I ordered and he rolled his eyes, hating how I treat him but he keeps forgetting who I am and who he is.

He didn't object, he left the building and went to bring the car, because he knows that I am right. We cant risk anyone seeing her get out of the building nor into my car.

Whatever the hell is being cooked up, we needed to figure it out as soon as possible.

I moved closer to Natalie, my hand going toward the cat's bag, taking it away from her, but my touch had her pull away, stopping me. My jaw ticked and I still took the bag from her, I placed it aside for a second as I talked with her, "Natalie, I am not going to talk and ask about us now because there are more important things going on."

My words had her slightly-broken gaze flicker to me, "If you don't want us to get back together then okay, whatever you want, I am not going to force you into this," I said, "But don't think I will let you out of my sight until I make sure your safe, deal?"

She stared at me for a long second and I could see the hundred different words and questions racing through her beautiful eyes, but she suppressed them all down and simply nodded her head back in return.

Satisfied with that fact, I grabbed the bag, "Let's go."

For now, keeping her safe is my priority. As for the topic of us, I know how to fix that with time.

***************

After I showed Natalie the spare room she can stay in, she just nodded her head, silenty walked inside and closed the door behind her, without muttering a single word. I even heard the lock twist...her message loud and clear; asking me to stay away for now.

I really don't think I can get used to this her.

I want my loud, full of energy, bright Natalie back. My chest tightened at the mere thought of it, was I the reason she was gone?

I shook the thought away for now, I'd rather concentrate on figuring out Joseph's motives, stop him, kill him before he dares to come near her again.

I faced Ronald, who was still standing in my house for some reason. My eyebrow raised, asking him to just leave already.

"Uh," He rubbed at his neck, a bit nervous, "She asked me to stay here as well."

Of course...

How else would they drive me mad and make more miserable?

My jaw tightened, "Since when she tolerates you, anyway?"

He shrugged but he seemed to be secretly content at the fact, "I am not sure either."

I sighed, "What can I say," I mumbled, my tone reflecting my hight level of annoyance, "The more the merrier."

If it's what she wanted, then what can I do?

I started to walk away, having enough of him for one day but he followed me around, "You are not gonna kill me in my sleep or something, right?"

I shrugged, "I am not making any promises."

***************

Isaac's POV

My fingers wrapped tight around his little jacket and I brought it closer to my face, burying my nose into the soft fabric. My inside a total mess as I tried to gather myself whole but failed.

It still smelled just like him.

My little boy, he must be so scared, all alone...

My jaw tightened and I want to flip the whole house upside down. God, what I am going to do to Nikolas, he won't even see it coming. He had crossed his limit and he will be rightfully punished for it.

The thought of losing that boy, of him getting hurt brought a type of pain I haven't felt in so long, not since that dreadful day where I had to stand aside and watch as Joseph killed her.

FLASHBACK

"The baby is alive," The doctor was speaking, explaining too many things at once but I couldn't comprehend any of them, "He will have to stay in the NICU for some time, to fully grow and heal up," why was he explaining all this to me, I wanted to shout and scream that I didn't care, that I want to just go in and see her...see her one last time.

I just nodded my head, I couldn't possibly gather the strength to even open my mouth. The doctor was about to walk away but I stopped him, "Don't tell anyone about the baby yet," I ordered and he nodded, not willing to defy me.

When he was gone, I opened the door and walked inside, closing it shut behind me, needing this one moment to be alone with her, just me and just...her.

Chills cascaded all over my skin and the further I walked in, the more I wanted to whirl around and run away. Escape from this dreadful truth.

I paused by the bed, where she laid. The sight of her peaceful pale face knocked the breath from my lungs. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't do anything but fall weak under the aggression of all of this...

My shaking fingers moved forward, they stopped when they reached her cold skin, they rested over her cheek and something in my chest broke down, it cracked and crashed. It tightened all of my muscles, grabbing at my throat and suffocating me...

I was okay with her far away, I was okay with everything and anything, just as long as she was safe, as she was alive, breathing, her heart beating.

She was happy, everytime we met, she was always so happy, always smiling, always laughing as she gushed and talked about her kids, telling me their lastest adventures, and everytime I just sat there and listened, to every word she spoke, smiling and admiring all there is about her.

She was my little escape. The only place where I knew how to be happy.

Her happiness made me happy, even when she shared it with another man.

The feel of losing that ounce of happiness she filled me with everytime, it was too overwhelming. Too consuming. Emotions pushed at my eyes, and I let them free as I leaned down and pressed my lips over her forehead, my tears seeping down and my chest jerked with the agony of this all.

I so badly wanted to scream, maybe it could let the pain out because it felt like it could eat me alive.

"I am so sorry," I mumbled, brushing her soft skin. God, she was just as beautiful as the first day I met her. I still remember it like it was only yesterday. Her sitting on the back of the horse, riding him so freely within the boundaries of their land, her hair flying all around her face, her eyes so bright like the sky, she was always so full of life, full of light.

I was young but I understood it right there and then that I was a gone case, that I loved her even before I knew what love is. But she was never meant to be mine and I understood that too. I was okay with that too, because her own happiness meant more to me than my own.

"I will make sure they're okay, I promise," I mumbled, I hoped she could hear me, that she can be in peace now...if that even existed. Because if it did, it's the only place she belonged to.

"Joseph will pay for this, slowly, I will make him suffer for years and years to come," My jaw ticked, he will lose everything he has, I will take my sweet time with him...

Knwoing that I can't stay here for too long, that someone could see me any minute now, I had to force myself to leave her side. I dropped one last kiss over her forehead, whispering my promise to her one more time, confessing what she meant to me before I left the room. Utterly defeated.

I aimlessly roamed the hospital's hall for too long, only to come stopping beside a specific room. I watched through the glass what laid inside. One of the incubators was occupied, by a small little baby.

I knew it had to be him.

I opened the door and walked in, drawn in by something I didn't understand. I came to a stop right by his side, watching the many equipments attached to his very small body. His little chest heaving up and down...breathing...alive.

It's a miracle. The doctor had said.

A miracle indeed.

He was part of her, a small piece of her. The only thing she left behind. I crouched down, unable to look away from the little thing he is. His little arm was thrown at the side, his little hand coming out from the little gap. I reached for it, my finger resting over his tiny palm, caressing it and he immediately fisted it.

I smiled as I watched him, "I know your name," I whispered, "She told me before what she was gonna name you," I ran my finger over his little fisted hand, "Nathan."

"Do you know what does it mean?" I mumbled, "It means gift of god...feels fitting, right, little one?"

The heart that broke when it saw her lifeless body, it was slowly beating again, healing as it watched this little kid fight his way back to life.

I knew I can't leave him. His siblings are too young, too devastated to be able to take care of something so fragile.

If they deemed them unfitting and took the kid from them, then god knows with which family he will end up with. I won't and can't let that happen. I had made a promise and I must keep that promise till the day I die.

"You will be safe," I said to him, "I won't let anyone hurt you, I promise."

******************************

Helloowww! :)

What are your thoughts after reading the chapter, waiting to hear them out :)

I hope you liked it, and for once we saw a bit of humanity from Isaac xD
The dude is human toward anyone that isn't Leya and Nikolas xD

See ya next chapter!

Love y'all <3