There is small sexual content in the chapter (Not too graphic and not too long, but I think it's better to write warnings beforehand) so babies close your eyes. And Non-babies, happy reading ;) , *sends you each a boyfriend or a vibrator, you pick*

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"Holy grail - noun, an object or goal that is sought after for its great significance."

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Nikolas's POV

My gaze was entirely focused on the file held tight in my hand -the one Liam had given me the day before. The one I hadn't mustered the courage to look at yet. I tried convincing myself that I was rather occupied by Natalie's presence to have time and discover its content. Whatever the reason was, I knew it held something from her in it, and one way or another I have to open it eventually.

I clasped it open and emptied its content in my lap, two envelopes fell at first. Lines etched my forehead as I gave each of them a look, one had my name written on it, while the other spelled Alex's name. Her handwriting. I knew it by heart.

The envelopes were sealed shut. A letter for each of us, I supposed. I tucked Alex's one away, planning to give it to him when I land. I held the one that held my name, my fingers tight around the paper edges, staring at it for way too long, contemplating whether I should open it or not -I chose the latter.

I am just starting to gather myself after the tragedy that befell me, I am in no way equipped to read her words and break down all over again. To finish what I am starting, I need my brain to be hundred percent into the game. I can't afford to fail this time. I tucked mine away as well, placing it beside Alex's. Everything has a time and now is not the time for me to fall weak.

Other than the envelopes, there were many papers stacked inside the file, I gave them a quick look, noticing how they were various information about Isaac and his previous whereabouts, ones it seems she had gathered over the years. I took a mental note to analyze them more thoroughly later on, maybe I can find something that could come in handy as I destroy him.

My eyebrows pulled closer as I looked again inside the file, I could still feel something else resting at the bottom of it. I pushed my hand inside, wrapping my fingers around the small little thing, and pulled it out.

I opened my hand and stared at the diamond ring now resting in my palm.

It looked familiar. I suddenly felt a weird burn in my throat, I tried to swallow past it as my mind took me back down that memory lane.

*Flashback*

My legs swayed as I dangled them from over the bed, my head resting inside my palms as I watched her, sitting across from the mirror and applying something over her face. I didn't know what it was, but it covered the purple bruise very well, and it made her look even prettier somehow.

She met my eyes through the mirror and gave me a wink. I immediately smiled, "What are you thinking about?" She asked, her eyebrow raising at my immense concentration.

I pushed myself off the bed's edge, came down to my feet, and walked closer to her side. I rested my hands over the chair she was sitting on, "You're pretty," I said what was on my mind.

Her grin grew wider, and she turned her face to look closely at me, "It's those beautiful eyes of yours that see everything pretty," she said, softly as she rested her hand over my cheek, gently caressing it.

I shook my head, my tone a bit somber, "Not everything."

Lots of things were ugly in this world, and I saw them wide and clear.

She leaned closer and pressed a small kiss over my forehead, her hand giving my arm a gentle squeeze before she turned her attention back to the mirror, fixing what he broke, covering it so she can be able to go down and face the people waiting downstairs.

She opened a beautifully designed box, it had a bit of aesthetic touch to it, white and round with gold engravings all around it. She pulled earnings from its inside and placed them over her ear. She was busy fixing herself up when my gaze wandered over the box's content. A beautiful ring sat inside, shining ever so bright, and I brought my hand forward, picking it up, "You won't wear this?" I asked.

Her head turned to me, her eyes falling on it and she immediately shook her head, "No, I don't think I will ever wear this," She said, making my eyebrows crease in confusion at the bit of sadness in her tone.

She pulled the near chair and tapped on it, ushering me to sit across from her, her hand going to mine and taking the ring away, staring at it for a long second before her gaze met mine and she said, "Do you know that this ring has been in our family for many generations," She explained and I listened, a somber smile tilted her mouth, "My father, he had given it to my mother when they got married."

"Grandpa?" I asked, a small smile curving my lips at the little memory of him I still have. I don't remember a lot, but I know how much he loved me before he...died.

She nodded, "Yeah, and when my mother passed away, he gave it to me, he told me to wear it when I get married to the right man, it is what my mother was gonna do, which is give it to me on my wedding day."

I shook my head, "But you didn't wear it."

She shook her head, "I didn't."

I might not know a lot, or understand everything going on but I know by heart that my father is not the right man.

Her gaze flickered down to the ring, caressing its edges, "Which is why I kept it, so I can give it to you when you grow up," She looked at me, smiling at the future thought, "When you meet a beautiful girl and marry her."

My eyebrows pulled closer and I shook my head, "No."

"What no?"

"I don't want that."

She chuckled, "You don't wanna meet a pretty girl?"

I shrugged, "Not really."

She shook her head as if I am so silly and she inched her hand to my face, caressing my cheek, "Oh, you gonna grow up to be a handsome big boy," She said, "I am sure you will find the perfect girl and you'll give me many grandbabies, okay?"

My dissatisfied glare had her chuckle again, "Although I am not sure who is gonna be able to tolerate that grumpy look," She said, rubbing her fingers at the area between my eyebrows, asking me to release that frown.

I shook my head, "When I grow up, I only want to take you away from here," I told her the only future dream I have, "And we'll take Alex with us like we agreed, that's all," I shook my head again, "No girls!"

Her expression was a mixture of amusement and longing and she nodded, "Okay, no girls for now."

She fisted her hand over the ring, her eyebrows raising teasingly, "I will still keep this in case you change your mind."

I shook my head, so sure, "I won't."

She ruffled my hair, messing it and I groaned, running my hand through it and trying to fix it. She placed the ring back in the box and looked back at the mirror, resuming her work by covering up the bruise. I stared at her for too long, and my chest felt so tight. She was talking about it like it was some beautiful future dream, but marriage wasn't pretty. I've seen it. It was awful and I didn't want it...I don't want to ever be like him.

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My fingers wrapped around the ring in my palm, my eyelids fell down and I pressed the back of my head against the seat, trying to keep myself intact. I always convinced myself that I won't grow up to be like him, but life played its dirty game and I grew up to be just another fucked up version of him.

And now, if I want to win this game, I have to be him and play with his dirty rules.

I pried my eyes open and swallowed past the tightness over my throat. I pushed the ring into my pocket, and placed the rest back into the file, tossing it into the seat beside mine, trying to stay away from any reminder of her for the time being.

I felt two eyes watching me and I lifted my gaze up, looking back at him sitting on the furthest plane seat away from me. He threw a tantrum alright but when he realized we are up in the air and he has no way to escape, he settled down in one place.

My gaze went to the tray of food, still full and untouched, "Why aren't you eating?" I asked.

He was glaring at me and he pushed at the tray, moving it further away from him, crossing his arms over his chest and looking out of the window, "I don't want anything from you."

He was a stubborn little thing, I have no clue how I am going to handle him till this whole thing calms over.

He turned back to me, "What are you going to do to me?" He asked.

"I didn't fully decide yet," I mumbled.

His throat bobbed, and his tone pulled at my heart, "Are you going to kill me?"

My eyebrows pulled closer and I shook my head, "Why would I do that?"

"It's what dad said you would do to me," He explained.

That fucker, already implanting nonsense into his young brain. "You shouldn't believe everything he says."

Lines etched between his eyebrows, "Will you hurt me, then?"

My jaw tightened and I shook my head, "You are a kid, I am not going to hurt you."

My gaze flickered to the window, noticing how we are slowly starting to descend, "If you are older, you would understand how I am saving you from him," I mumbled, more to myself.

"But I only want to go back to my dad," He mumbled, his voice now more sad and emotional.

I rubbed a hand over my jaw, "He is not your dad," I said, my jaw ticking.

His eyes fired up, "Yes, he is!"

I shook my head, "No, he took you from your real father-"

"No!" He shot out and jumped off his seat, "He is my real father!"

The captain announced his message through the speakers, asking us to buckle our seatbelts and informing how we will be landing in a few minutes only. One of my men got closer to the boy, ready to force him back into his seat but I raised my hand up, stopping him. He backed away and I got up to my feet, moving closer toward the kid.

"We are going to land, you need to sit down now," I said, my tone as calm as it can be. I croushed down, my hand going to his arm, gently pulling him back. He pushed at my arm, "No, leave me!" He snapped, using his free hand to land small punches over my arm, "Let me go, I don't wanna be here, I wanna go back, I want my dad!"

For someone so small, he sure has some anger issues. I tightened my grip over his arm, pulling him into the seat, a bit more forceful now. He kept fighting and thriving, pushing at me with every chance he got as I struggled to buckle up his seatbelt. I have no clue how will I get him down from this plane without making a scene.

I thought I liked kids, but apparently, that didn't cover those who were raised by Isaac for sure, because this one is starting to play on my nerves.

He unbuckled his seatbelt right away and in my struggle to hold him back from running off, his hand went to the food tray, pulling the knife from there and quickly pushing it at me, in an attempt to fight back. His fast movement had the tip of the knife graze my cheek and I felt the bit of warm blood gather there. I was busy trying to be as gentle as possible that I didn't hold his hand back, I just didn't expect him to be so full of rage.

His action had him finally pause in his struggle, his chest heaving, panting, and his eyes wide as he stared at my face. My jaw ticked, my eyes gliding down as I counted to ten in my head, badly trying to stay calm. Calm and easy, calm...

I pried my eyes open, my fingers wrapped over his knife-wielding hand, my grip was no longer gentle, "Ahhh," He winced, his fingers involuntarily unwrapping from over the knife, letting it fall and slide down the plane's floor.

The look in my eyes was no longer friendly and he noticed that, he pushed himself away from me, trying to escape but my patience had worn thin, one hand pulled him back to me, and his back crashed into my chest. My arm moved and went around his little waist, keeping him close to me as I extended my other hand to one of my men, he understood what I meant and dropped the needle into my palm.

Nathan writhed under my tight hold, screaming still, trying to fight and escape. I knew there is no way I am getting him off the plane like this. I pushed the needle into his neck, emptying its content, waiting for the medicine to knock him off at least till we arrive, "No!" He said, his hand coming to his neck, rubbing there, he cried out, sniffling, "No, leave me alone...leave me..." His voice started to drop and his movements weren't as energetic as the drug started to take its effect.

"No," He whispered once again, his body slowly relaxing and going limp between my arms before the back of his head crashed against my chest, his eyes falling down. My other arm went under his legs, pulling him up just as the plane hit the ground, the little shaky movement of the plane almost had him fall from my hold but I tightened my grip, pulling him closer into my embrace.

I sat down at the nearest seat, still holding the kid, feeling a very heavy weight pressing over my chest. He looked even younger while sleeping, more innocent. I brought my hand to his face, brushing the tears that had fallen away. I didn't want to hurt him in any way. I don't want to scar him like I was once scarred.

But he is my holy grail, I need him.

**************

Next day...

Emma's POV

"Where are we?" I said, confused as I went down the car and looked around, trying to understand where in god's name did Nik take us. It was dark and very calm, even the street lights were off, almost like no one lived on this side of the town, utterly isolated.

I turned around, looking at Nik and waiting for answers. He moved forward, a hand casually tucked inside his pant's front pocket, he pointed his smart key toward the car, locking it before he moved forward, walking toward...somewhere, indirectly ushering us to follow.

I looked at Roman, and he seemed to be just as confused as me, Ronald as well, three of us understood nothing but we followed him toward what seemed to be an abandoned factory of some sort.

Nikolas unlocked the main gate and walked inside. The second I stepped in, I started sneezing, the dust enveloping the room just proved how old this place must be. He turned the lights on and I squinted, my eyes flickering around, still trying to make sense and failing.

I faced Nik, "Wow, this is exactly what we need to defeat Isaac," Sarcasm dripped within my words, my eyebrow arching, "An old abandoned factory."

Nikolas's eyebrow raised at my mocking tone, "Just follow me," He said, confident that this is helpful in some way.

He moved toward the other end of the room, going through a hallway. There was an elevator there, still functional apparently, he pressed the button at the side and it slid open. We all got in, my eyes warily flickering around, not fully trusting the old elevator. I sneezed again and Roman rubbed his hand over my back, "Are you okay?" He asked, eyebrows pulling closer and I nodded, sneezing yet again into my arm, "It's the stupid dust."

The elevator took us down, to the underground floor I suppose, "Tell me again why an abandoned factory is what we need to defeat Isaac."

"What we need, is a place to work and operate from where Isaac doesn't have eyes and ears in it," He justified and the elevator door opened.

"A lion's lair, huh?" I joked and he nodded, "Something like that."

"And are you sure that this is the place?" I am starting to doubt my brother, really, his mother's death must've ruined his brain cells or something.

He nodded, "Yes," He said and stepped out.

We followed him, "How so?"

"Because he has no idea it exists," Nikolas said just as I looked into my surroundings. It was the total opposite of upstairs, it was cleaner and more modernized for sure. The bright white lights illuminated the whole empty area. Across from us stood a heavy metallic door, on its side a security keypad was positioned. Nik typed something over it, a ding sound came and the metal door opened, revealing a whole other world behind.

"It's one of the training units built by the family long ago," He explained and my eyes grew wide as I walked inside, looking at the generous space, trying to make sense of it and the fact it even exists, "It's like the one we have back at home," I mumbled, gaping, one of the rooms had various training equipments and a wrestling ring in the middle.

Some of Nik's men were already inside, working out and fighting together, practicing and preparing for an upcoming battle.

I kept walking around, discovering the place more intently, one of the rooms only had weapons inside, different numerous types, from guns to knives, to grenades, and many many more. Oh damn, I wanted to jump up and down in pure glee, I think I just found my own Disneyland.

I turned to Nik, "Isaac would know about this place-" My father isn't stupid, he knows all about our history.

Nik shook his head, "No, he doesn't," He sounded so sure, his eyes flickered around the place, a hint of a smile pulling at his lips, barely even there but detectable, "My grandfather built this place. Not many people know of its existence."

My eyebrows pulled closer, "Then, how come you know?" I asked but realized the answer before he gave it to me, "Your mother?" I asked and he gave me a silent nod, proving my theory right.

"Follow me," Nik said and we obliged. We passed inside the room where they were training in. Astonished by all of this, I watched them all and studied what they were doing, my gaze flickered between the men inside, "He looks familiar," I mumbled to myself, squinting my eyes at the shirtless one in the ring, wrestling with another.

His movements paused at our presence, his eyes flickered up and fell on me; recognition flashed in them, triggering the memory of his face from somewhere in my brain, "Oh, I've slept with him before," I added then realized how I was simply speaking my thoughts out loud.

My gaze went to Roman beside me, checking if he heard me. His eyes were on that shirtless man as well and when they fell back on me, they were a bit less amused than before, his jaw tight as his hand moved from over my lower back and settled on my waist, gripping it and pushing me closer to his body as we kept walking.

I narrowed my eyes at him. Idiot. Any other day, I would break his hand but he is lucky I am in a slightly good mood after seeing the gun toys back there.

I kept discovering my surrounding, liking the gist of it all, "I gotta say, I like this place," I said.

"Yeah, but the most important thing is here," Nikolas said as he opened a door at the end of the hallway, it led us to what looked like an office, the room was just as big as the others, it had two big desks on each side, and one of them had three monitors, all positioned next to each other, "This is Jeremy by the way, I guess you know him," He added, pointing at the guy sitting there.

Jeremy stood up from behind the monitors, his gaze first fell on me and he brought his hand up to his face, taking his eyeglasses off. He rested them down and I couldn't miss the little smirk pulling the side of his lips up.

My eyes grew a bit wide, "Oh yeah, I know Jeremy," I screeched out.

My tone had Roman let go of my waist, "For the love of god, is there a man in here you didn't sleep with?" He shot out in pure annoyance and anger, understanding that fact very well.

I wanted to punch his throat for that tone but tried to restrain myself back, knowing there is people around and how he is partially right, "Uh, not every man," I said, defending myself, looking around the room and pointing at Ronald, "I didn't sleep with him for example."

Ronald's eyes widened and he took a couple of steps backward, "Uhm, no thanks," He mumbled, horrified.

Roman's glare usually doesn't affect me but now, for some reason, it did. I wanted him to smile, kiss me and have sex with me, that's all. It is as simple as that. Why complicate it more? With his jaw set tight, he turned his gaze away, speaking no word to me and being a total idiot.

I tried to ignore him and focus on the more important matter at hand. I turned to Nikolas, who seemed to be so done with our drama.

"So," I crossed my arms over my chest, changing the subject, "You said the important thing is here," I questioned, "I am guessing it is not Jeremy's nerdy brain for sure."

I looked at the guy and his eyebrow raised at my indirect insult, "You used to like my nerdy brain before," He said and I shot him a hard glare. Because of him, I am probably not going to get laid tonight since my idiot husband looks like he has a stick up his ass.

Nik gave Jeremy one look and the guy straightened himself in his seat, looking away and shutting his mouth from muttering nonsense.

Nik walked toward the monitors and I moved to his side, my eyes falling into the screens, "I am the one who has eyes and ears everywhere now," He said, my eyes making sense of how the screen was divided into smaller squares, each of them was projecting a view from cameras, each placed in different various locations.

My eyes widened when they caught Isaac in one of them. I moved, observing closer the image of my dear father, he was talking with some man, his whole being vibrating with something so vicious as he slammed his hand over the table, flipping what's over it upside down, bewildered at something, "Oh, he is angry alright-" I commented, turning to Nik, who was watching that same scene as well.

A big smile pulled the corner of his lips up, a smile so dark I haven't seen on him for so long, not since I met the man who saved me from the HEX, that man wasn't the same Nikolas I started to care for as my brother, but it felt like he was back again. He nodded his head, reveling in our father's miserable state, "Yeah, he is angry for sure."

He pulled the phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen, "I have a call to make," He said, stepping out of the room and going somewhere.

My gaze went from his retreating back and flickered between Ronald and Roman, "Please tell me I am not the only one who is worried?"

"Worried about what?" Ronald asked, his eyebrows furrowing at my words. My jaw tightened, "He is so much like old Nik, and even though I wanted old Nik back, but-" I sighed, something just felt off, "But that Nik did things he couldn't come back from, I am just scared he will do the same again."

I want Isaac dead, but I definitely don't want to lose Nikolas over it.

My gaze fell on the screen, watching what my father was doing now. Weirdly enough, he was talking over the phone, angrily spitting out words, furiously pacing around the room. My eyes narrowed at the image and I couldn't help but wonder if he is talking with Nikolas. If so, why would he go outside to talk with him?

I let out a frustrated breath, I have a feeling my dear brother is hiding something from us.

I turned to my right, where Jeremy was seated still, his eyes flickered from the monitor to me, amusement flickered all over them as he watched me up close, smirking still, the asshole, "What else is Nikolas hiding in here?" I asked. He would know, I am sure.

He shrugged, "Not sure what you are talking about."

God, I so badly wanna smack that smug smile off his face. I looked at Roman, who seemed to be more infuriated than before, ready to come forward and split this man's jaw into two. I rushed a hand over my face, groaning in annoyance before I pulled my gun out, putting an end to this.

I moved closer to Jeremy, using my knee to push his legs apart, and immediately pointed my gun between his legs, my threat wide and clear, "Keep looking at me like that only if you want to lose your precious boy," I grated out and his eyes widened, especially when the gun's tip pressed near his zipper, "As silly and unbelievable this might sound, but I am married."

"You are?" He said in shock and I nodded.

Roman stepped closer to us, his hands casually rested over Jeremy's shoulders from behind and he squeezed, not so gently I might add, "Yes, she is," He said, coldly smiling down at him. Jeremy looked up at him in pure loss and fear wrapped over his eyes, we had cornered him from both sides, "Uh, I didn't know-" He stuttered.

One of Roman's hands moved and wrapped over the guy's neck, harshly pushing his head backward, the back of it slammed against the chair's top part, "So, if you dare look at her the wrong way," He hissed, gritting his teeth, inching his face down and closer to the man, "I will make that nerdy brain of yours explode all over the floor, you get that?"

Jeremy gulped down and he tried to nod his head but Roman's tight hold stopped him, "Yeah, yeah," He said. Getting the answer he wants, Roman released his neck. He tapped his hand over the guy's shoulder, ever so casually, "Great," He said, his lips tilting up in that same cold smile, and damn, I wanted to jump at him now.

I pulled my gun away and Jeremy struggled to his feet, rubbing at his sour neck, "I should go...go see where Nikolas is," He mumbled, whirling around and running away.

Ronald looked at us with a bored expression. Finding nothing interesting here, he also left the room, keeping us alone.

My gaze fell on Roman, and he seemed to immediately read through the look in my eyes because one second only and I felt his arms wrap around me, harshly pushing my body toward him just as his lips possessively slammed into mine, knocking my breath off.

My arms snaked around his neck, pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss. His big hands encircled my hips before they went to my ass, easily lifting it up, enough for me to wrap my legs around and straddle him. It was all he needed to move me around and press me into the desk. My ass fell there, knocking something off, maybe a cup, maybe Jeremy's glasses, who cares?

I wrapped him so tight, eagerly threading my fingers in his soft, messy hair as we kissed each other with greedy desperation. I harshly tugged at the messy strands when he dipped his head into my neck, sucking and biting me in places that drove me half-mad. He eluded me from control and a moan parted my lips, my head falling back as a result, "I don't usually like possessive men," I mumbled, partially panting and whimpering as he bit the skin behind my ear.

His arm tightened around my waist, ready to consume me whole, "It's not about being possessive," He grumbled into my skin, his warm hot lips making their way up and claiming my mouth, "It's my simple right," He mumbled, thrusting his tongue into my mouth and I couldn't possibly become any more intoxicated with his erotic taste, it's a taste I want in my mouth forever.

His warm hands run up my bare thighs and under my skirt, right on the edge, his fingers barely touching me as he played against the lace, I moaned and moved frantically against him, feeling like I can't get close enough, "I am the only one who should make you moan like that," He groaned with a primal need, biting down at my lip.

He moved his fingers closer and I gasped when he gently ran one of them down the center of my panties, "I am the only one who should get you all wet and needy like this," His words vibrated through my skin and his free hand moved up my body, reaching my neck and resting right below my chin, his thumb brushing my lower lip as he closely looked at me, fire licking through his beautiful eyes, "You get that?"

I gasped for a breath when with his other hand, he moved my panties aside and without any hesitation, pushed his fingers inside me, "Roman!" I gasped, my eyes pressing shut at the how he can so easily play with me. He pushed and pulled and then paused his movement.

My eyes fluttered open, wide, "Roman, I swear to god-"

"I asked you a question," He stressed out again, not playing around as his hand slightly tightened over my neck.

I nodded my head, desperate for him and his touch, "Yes, yes, only you, I swear," I heaved out a strangled breath as he skillfully rubbed at my clit, torturing me some more, "I only want you," I said, half talking, half moaning, "Just you, idiot, now please fuck me!"

"Since you asked so nicely," He said, a smirk pulling at his lips as he moved closer to me, his lips holding mine again, and his fingers doing wonders under my skirt. I fumbled with his pants, pulling the zipper down, "You know..." I gasped, "Nikolas could come in any...ah moment," I tried to speak between the pleasure.

"Emma, only god will stop me now," He grumbled out and pulled my body closer, "Hold tight," He groaned into my mouth and I did as told. He carried me, not once breaking the contact of our lips and all I felt after was my back slamming into the door. Roman's hand fumbled with the knob, locking it as we resumed this, almost as if our life depended on it.

His hands went to my arms, twirling my body around so fast, pushing my front against the door as he lifted my skirt up, seeking access. I felt his mouth on the back of my neck, moving to the side, nibbling, and tasting just as I felt his hard-on press against me from the back. I closed my eyes, heaving and growing impatient with his teasing, "Roman, I swear to god if you don't-"

Before I could complete the sentence, he thrusted himself inside of me, my back arched up against him, and my hand immediately flew to my mouth, muffling the moan that parted it. My body shook in shock and pleasure as I clenched around him, desperate, so very desperate for this man.

Just this man, he was my sweet undoing.

I threw my head back, it pressed into his chest and he moved his hand up to my neck, tilting it to the side, giving him the right angle to consume my mouth again. I whimpered into his lips, I was so close to unraveling at the seams. I wasn't the only one because the breaths that panted from his hard chest were getting heavier with each thrust.

"Roman," I moaned as I kissed him back, "Don't ever leave me," I was drunk on hormones and sex, I had no clue what the fuck I was saying, "Please."

He grunted as he took me, hard and fast, sweetly thrusting into me, deeper and deeper till we both got to our release at the same time, "Fucking hell, Emma," He groaned into the crook of my neck, burying his face there, still holding my body so close, so tight, not letting me go, "Why would I ever leave, I can barely live without you."

I pressed my eyes shut, sinking into his warm embrace, feeling him dripping down my thighs, "But you lived before," I mumbled.

I felt him shake his head, "That wasn't living," He gently turned me around to look at me, the eyes that I once betrayed and played with, stared back at me like I was their whole world, "I was merely existing," He said, "Emma, I only feel alive when I am with you."

You'd think for someone who is as physically strong as me, you'd think I'd have no insecurities, no weak spots, but mine were many, and they were a whole other level of fucked up.

I pushed myself into his embrace, resting my temple against his chest and he wrapped my messy self, gathering it between his arms, he kissed the top of my head, "Emma," He said, running his hand through my hair, "I love you," He mumbled, "So much," He added and I sucked into a deep breath.

His words were meant to reassure me, and they did. They had me relax but they also made me slightly stiffen, anxious about how...or if I will ever say them back. Love is so overrated. I've seen people who are in love hurt each other more deeply than anyone else. How do you know when it is love? Is it a feeling that suddenly shows up, or does it happen over time? Even though, why do we even need to put and give it a name?

I shook my head, I refuse to brainwash myself with that nonsense. I tightened my hold around my man, closing my eyes and reveling in every moment I share with him.

Maybe it is not love, maybe it is. All I know is that I would never let anything happen to him, won't let anyone take him from me, that I would kill for him, and more importantly, I would die for him.

**************

Two days later...

Nikolas's POV

Walking back into my house, I headed to the kitchen first, getting a cold cup of water to wash away my thirst. I filled the cup and gulped it down in one go, giving my aching lungs a rest. I brought my hand up, looking at my watch and checking the time, watching it hit ten. It was six or seven when I left in the early morning for a quick run to release my stress and calm my restless brain.

But the furthest I ran, the more I didn't feel like coming back, so I carried on, going with the wind till my feet ached and begged me to return.

I was back to my messed-up sleeping habit, unable to rest my eyes for more than an hour or two a night. It didn't matter, I didn't need sleep, I just needed to be focused and in utter control. I rubbed at the back of my neck, stretching the tensed muscles before I dropped the cup into the sink, ready to turn and head for a much-needed shower.

Just then, I sensed another presence in the house. I froze for a second, not moving or turning yet as I assessed the whole situation.

My body was on full alert, my senses taking notice of any slight shift in the atmosphere. I could feel the person getting closer to me from behind, quiet and on very silent steps, for me to not notice but well, I wasn't born yesterday. Trying not to be so obvious, I slowly opened the drawer ahead of me beside the sink, my fingers going in and wrapping over the biggest sharpest knife.

When I felt that he is so close, just a few millimeters behind me, I moved my knife-wielding arm and twirled around so fast, quick enough to grab the arm of my attacker, twisting as I slammed his body against the sink. Adrenaline blinded my vision and I moved my hand up, the sharpness of the knife pressing right next to the throat.

"What are you doing?!" Her screech and the sight of blonde hair had me stumbling backward right away, letting her go as I blinked, clearing my vision. My eyes grew wide and the knife fell out of my grip and to the ground as I shot out in bewilderment, "Natalie, what the hell-"

I snapped and moved closer to her, assessing her state and checking if I did any damage. My heart beat a thousand beats per second as I looked at her whole. Her wide eyes were at me as she rubbed at her throat, she heaved a shaky breath out of her lungs, "You were gonna kill me!" She shot out both in rage and fear.

"What, no...what are you doing," I looked around me, trying to understand where the hell she came out from, "Why didn't you say a thing, I thought...fuck," I grumbled out, inching closer, my hand going to her arm, seeing the redness my tight grip left behind.

"I was gonna surprise you, I didn't expect you to just kill me!" She snapped again, snatching her arm out of my hand and rubbing at her chest in an attempt to calm herself down.

"Never sneak up on me like that again, never, you get that!" She got me so fucking frustrated. I could've hurt her, I could've...fucking hell.

Her eyes widened at my harsh tone and she inched closer, using her tiny fist to throw a punch at my chest, "Don't shout at me!" She snapped, "You are the one who placed a knife to my throat, gosh," She looked away, her face paling down, "My whole life flashed behind my eyes, I swear-"

My jaw tightened and I rushed a hand over my face, rubbing at my eyes, and kicking myself back in, "How did you even get in?" I asked, still bewildered at myself, unable to comprehend how I didn't notice it was just her.

She shot me a glare, "You gave me a key, remember?"

"And since you didn't drop by my place or even call me or pick up my calls since we left London, I thought I'd check up on you," She said, her voice still loud and her tone still enraged, "It's my fault, I should've never come here, you asshole!"

Okay, she is really angry.

Swallowing hard, I took a careful step closer to her, my hand reaching for her arm, "I am sorry-"

She snatched her arm away and crossed them over her chest, "For what? Not calling me or trying to kill me?" She is really not gonna let this go.

"Both," I said, looking at her arm, "Can I have a look at your arm now," I requested, "Please."

She shook her head and took a step back, "No!"

My eyebrow raised, "Nate-"

"Don't call me that," She pointed her finger at me, "It's only Natalie for you."

I was done listening to her, I moved closer, crowding her space, my hand going to her arm and pulling her closer to me, her eyes widened, "Let me go," She shot out and I shook my head, keeping her close, refusing to let her go, "No."

"What? You gonna try to kill me again?" She added and I sighed, counting how many times she asked that.

I brought my hand to her face, tucking her hair behind her ear, "I am sorry, I am on my nerves all the time, I thought...I just...never mind." I shook my head, dismissing the thought, "I would never hurt you, you know that," I said the only truth I know, "Also, I didn't call you yet because I was trying to sort through everything first, I didn't want to come to you carrying all my problems with me like I always do," I explained, "I wanted for once to make sure things were okay, or at least settled before I barged back into your life."

Her gaze softened as she listened to me talk and I added, "Am I forgiven?"

Her lips formed a cute pout, "It's not fair, I didn't want to forgive you this fast," She mumbled, whining, "But how can I not when you say things like that and look like this," She looked at me from up to down, "Like a damn candy."

I chuckled, "I just came back from a run," I was all sweaty and tired, not a candy for sure.

She groaned lowly, "God, that's so hot," She glared at me, at my chest specifically, not satisfied, "It's like I wanna rip that sweater off you and just lick you all over," Okay she was extra blunt this time. She brought her hand to her forehead and facepalmed, "Ugh, I am just sleepy and tired because you keep me so restless and on my toes, which is why I have no filter today-"

"Uhuh-" I mumbled, taking her arms as she rambled and wrapped them around my waist, pulling her closer to me, "You keep doing that, complaining about me and I am going to do this-"

"Do what?"

"This," I said as I leaned down and pressed my lips into hers, savoring my favorite delicate taste. She responded to me right away, tangling her sweet tongue with mine and wrapping her arms around my body, both desperate as we sank into each other's embrace.

I edged back a fraction, "Forgiven?" I asked against her plump pink lips. Fuck, they were a sight, a ripe for kissing.

"You need to try harder," She breathed out, challenging me more.

I smiled against her lips, kissing and nibbling on her lower one, "Where do you want my mouth next, then," I murmured, moving my lips to the corner of her mouth , then to her chin, leaving a trail of kisses as I dipped my head into the heavens of her neck, claiming that soft skin. She smelled so fresh, like flowers and honey, something so delicate and soft, it had something wild, a fierce need to rush into my veins and tighten all of my muscles.

Damn it, I wanted her more than she could possibly imagine. I needed to stop before I take it too far. Fuck, I really don't know till when I can keep my control around this woman, I was aching for her in every way known to humans.

I found her sweet spot because the second my lips tasted that area, she whimpered, and a soft moan left her lips. It shook my insides and my fingers dug into her hips, trying to stop myself from ripping her clothes off and taking her right against the sink.

I kissed my way up her throat, finding her sweet lips again as I asked, "What about now?"

Her chest fell up and down, pushing up against mine, her eyes stared up at me, her skin so flushed, so needy as she said through a heavy breath, "Not yet."

"Where do you want my lips next," I asked against her skin and she whimpered, "Everywhere."

Her wish was my command. I didn't need more, I flattened my palm over her hips, pulling her up and resting her beside the sink, I parted her legs apart with my knee, placing myself between them, and my hand rested over the side of her neck as I sank into her lips, tasting them again, an addiction I don't wish to be free from ever.

My hand moved to the straps of her shirt, pushing them down her arm, ready to devour her whole when...a phone started ringing. And it wasn't mine.

My annoyed gaze flickered to Natalie and her eyes dimmed down, her jaw tightening, "Ugh!" She groaned as she pulled the phone from the pant's back pocket, so annoyed at the interruption as she answered, placing the phone to her ear, "Yes," She grumbled out.

Someone spoke and she tried to get back to herself, "Uh, yeah I am fine," She responded, looking at me as she said the next sentence, "What about you, Malcolm?"

The fuck-

My eyebrow raised and she just shrugged in return. If possible, my annoyance hit the roof, she was gonna drive me mad one day, so it felt only fair to do the same to her. I didn't stop, I was no longer gentle as I pulled her shirt down.

Her eyes widened, "Yeah, of course," She said through the phone, her shocked eyes on me as she mouthed, 'What are you doing?'

I pressed my lips into hers with a quick kiss, giving her a wink, "Having my breakfast," I mumbled, before I slid my hand up her stomach, I grazed over one breast before I flicked the front clasp of the bra, desperate.

It fell open and I sucked into a deep breath as I looked at her, all bare for me. Fuck, she is gonna be my downfall, I am sure, this woman will ruin and annihilate me till there is nothing left, and I will gladly let her do so.

Part of me wanted to bury myself deep inside her as soon as possible; while the other part wanted to savor every moment.

And savor it shall be.

My gaze met hers again, she was listening to whatever that dude was saying but all of her attention was on me. Her chest rose and fell with every breath, and she stared at me with nothing but trust in those beautiful blue eyes.

Oh Natalie, if only you knew.

A part of me was terrified that if I get my hands on her, she'd become broken. Just like everything I touched before. But maybe then, maybe she'd be mine. And maybe I am selfish and cruel enough because I want to take her with me as I incinerate and destroy the whole world.

"Yes, I talked with Sarah," She mumbled to him, her words barely audible. I interrupted the next of her sentence and she arched against me when I grazed my thumb over one perfect, peaked nipple right before I lowered my head down, ready to eat her alive. I closed my mouth over her breast, a groan rumbled from my throat and she gasped as I played with her as I pleased.

She moved the phone away so he won't hear her.

Fuck it, I didn't want anyone to hear that beautiful sound but me, no one.

I let go of her for a brief second, moving up and snatching the phone away, turning it off and tossing it away, quick enough for me to take her back, tasting every sweet inch of her, groaning into her soft skin as she tugged at my hair, moaning in the sweetest melody, "Nik...oh my god-"

If some external force is not going to interfere and stop me, I will not leave this woman till I've taken her whole.

Speaking of external forces...

The bell rang.

I groaned, keeping Natalie's body all tucked up to mine, looking at her as I grumbled out, "I miss the days when no one knew where I lived."

She smiled, that smile that brings me down to my knees and she brushed her hand over my hair, "And here I was waiting to lick you all over," She mumbled, sighing dreamily and pushing that same smile into my face.

She inched closer and pecked my lips, "My favorite candy," She mumbled, her bare chest pressing all over mine, and driving me to the edge of insanity.

The bell rang again, before I heard a few knocks and then a voice said, "Nik!"

I rolled my eyes, "Of course, it's Alex, who else-" I grumbled out and Natalie chuckled. She playfully pushed me aside and pulled herself to her feet, picking up her bra and wearing it again, "But I liked you more without it," I whined.

Her eyes widened, "When did you get like this," She said in disbelief, "I am the blunt one in this relationship," She added as she fixed up her shirt.

"I haven't slept in days, I think it's one of the side effects," I mumbled rushing a hand over my face and rubbing at my eyes. I really should have some sleep.

She walked closer just as Alex banged on the door again, "I know you're here, I saw your car!" He screamed from behind the door, "You bitch, I have a key anyway, wait let me find it-"

I sighed and Natalie laughed, amused before she tried fixing my messed-up hair, "You're forgiven by the way," She muttered, finally earning a smile from me.

Her eyebrow arched playfully, "Just don't try to kill me again."

Lines etched her forehead when her eyes fell on my cheek, she brought her hand and brushed the little scar there, "What's this?" She asked.

I shook my head, "It's nothing."

"Did you have a fight with someone?"

I sighed, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Just then, I heard the key jingle and the door open. Angry footsteps echoed in the hallway, "Where are you-" He reached the kitchen, "Here you are, I've been knocking for-" He paused and his eyes narrowed at us, flickering between me and Natalie, "Were you two having sex?"

I shot him a glare. I hate him today. "You have that sex hair and sex look in your eyes, is that why you didn't open the door," Why is he still here, "Did I interrupt you?" He asked, a smile pulling up his lips in glee, "Gosh, I love this!"

I crossed my arms over my chest and Alex explained, "I keep getting cockblocked by those two kids back at home, so it feels good to do it to someone else," He added, "Misery is better when shared."

He moved closer, pulling a chair and taking a seat by the kitchen table, so casual. He pulled an apple from the plate in the middle and took a bite. He winked at me, "I really didn't think you had in you," He said, not dropping this off and I was contemplating whether I should pick the knife from the ground and use it on him.

He turned to Natalie, munching on his apple, "Hey barbie, looks like Ken got his way with you, huh," He winked and I moved closer, slapping the back of his head, hoping that maybe he will learn to shut up one day.

"Will you stop doing that-" He groaned, rubbing at the back of his head.

Natalie joined him at the table, picking an apple as well. Alex inched closer to her, pretending to whisper, "Is he any good?" He asked, pointing a finger at me, "Does he know where everything goes?"

That earned him another hard slap to the back of his head.

"Dude!" He snapped.

"Shut up, will you," I said.

"I am not talking with you, I am talking with blondie over here-"

"You know, she is not a natural blonde," I interjected, hoping to change the subject.

Alex's eyes widened, "What?" He said before he inched his hand closer and tugged at her hair, checking if it is real.

Natalie chuckled and pushed his hand away, "It is real, it's just dyed."

Alex gasped, "Fuck, my whole life is a lie."

Natalie rolled her eyes at his drama, "And here I thought you gonna have cute blonde kids, damn it," Alex added, so annoyed as if his whole life depended on Natalie being a natural blonde.

"I can't call you blondie now, that's not cool," He grumbled out, pushing his half-eaten apple into the table.

"Anyway, I am gonna take a shower, make yourself at home," I said ever so sarcastically to Alex, because he always makes himself at home.

He looked up at me, smiling coyly, "A cold shower?"

Before I could slap his head for the third time, he moved away, whining, "Okay, okay, sorry," He said before he picked up his apple again and took another bite.

It felt only fair to mess with him as well, I pointed at the table, where his apple was previously placed, "We had sex right here by the way-" My words had him choke on the bite in his mouth, coughing loudly as he moved further away from the table, rubbing at his chest and throat, "Fucking hell!"

Natalie burst out laughing at him, and when my eyes met hers, I winked, and she smiled. Her beautiful shy smile.

I started to walk away when Alex threw his half-eaten apple at my back. Groaning in annoyance, I turned back, walked closer, and slapped his head for the third time.

"Owww!" He groaned, so furious.

"Damn you, Nikolas," He said as I started to walk away, "I swear to god I am gonna cockblock you every time you try to have sex!"

***************

Natalie's POV

Something was nagging at my brain.

It was stupid.

But I just couldn't let go of the thought. It's probably the psychologist in me, needing to gather all the facts and make sense of every situation.

I waited till Nikolas was all the way up, taking his shower when I asked Alex, "You have two kids?" He said it earlier and it stuck in my brain like nothing else.

His eyebrows pulled closer at my out-of-the-blue question, "Ah, you just said there are two, I always thought you only had one daughter, Lilly, I always see her picture on Nik's phone," I smiled, trying not to sound like I am investigating or prying.

His face relaxed, "Yeah, there are two of them, double the trouble," He added.

My smile widened, "Aww, I would love to meet Lilly one day," My eyebrow raised, "I hear she stole my man's heart."

A small smile flashed over his lips, "Oh yeah, I don't know why, but she adores him," He explained, his eyebrow raised, "She tries to defend him every time I insult him."

I chuckled, "Oh, she is so cute."

He nodded, proud, "Yup, my genes."

I smiled and tucked my hair behind my ear, "Is the other one a girl too?"

He shook his head, "No, he's a boy."

My smile widened, astonished, "You have one of each, how cool," I tried so bad to not show that I am pulling info out of him, "I want that one day."

His eyebrow raised, tugging at my hair, "Unfortunately, they won't be blonde."

I shot him a playful glare, "You all have something against my hair!"

He winked and I shook my head, nodding my head forward, "Show me a picture of them, they must be lots of trouble but so cute, aren't they," I said, playing around with the words, "Gosh, I am feeling so maternal these days," I said with a low chuckle.

Alex opened up his phone, ready to show me, his eyes narrowed at me, "You guys used a condom, didn't you," He joked around, "It's true I want nieces and nephews but not this fast."

I waved him off by my hand, desperately waiting for him to show me a picture. He turned the phone around, revealing a photo that had both Lilly and a baby boy in it, "Aww, they're so cute," I took the phone from him, zooming at the picture to see the boy's face more clearly and my heart started beating so fast, he is the same kid in the picture, the one I found in Nik's pants.

"What's his name?" I said, formulating many theories in my head. I mean he could have his picture just because he is his nephew, just like he keeps Lilly's picture on his phone. But Lilly also lived in that house in the UK for two years, probably without Alex...

God, I understand nothing.

"Max," Alex answered, his voice a bit lower now, gone all the amusement from over his expression, his eyes a bit wary as he watched me, probably getting the gist that I am trying to find something.

His hand was extended forward now, asking for his phone back. I offered him a small smile, swallowing hard as I placed the phone in his palm.

I rubbed at my throat, feeling like I was just caught red-handed. When I looked back at Alex, his eyebrow raised, waiting for me to say something back.

"He has beautiful eyes," The words came out before I could stop them.

Alex smiled, but it wasn't that genuine warm smile, it was different and so not like him, so fake and a bit of anger in it as he asked, "What are you trying to do, Natalie?"

I shook my head, "I am not trying to do anything, why did you get so defensive?"

If I had theories, his reaction just proved them right.

Alex leaned closer, "Your relationship is with Nikolas, so if you need information, you ask him, it's as simple as that, I don't think he'd lie to you," His eyebrow raised, "But don't do this, it's not cool."

"I didn't do anything-" I tried to defend myself.

"Yes, you did." He answered, "My kids are a red line for me, Natalie, and there is something off about the way you approached this," He added, shrugging, "I am a father, I can sense it," He shook his head, "You are a good girl, I like you, but whatever problem you will have with Nikolas, it stays there, don't think of bringing my kids into the mix, you get that?"

I stayed silent, I didn't know what to say or how to react to his little outburst. When he didn't receive an answer, he got up to his feet, ready to leave. Something made him stop and he turned around, his eyes narrowing at me, "How did you know?" He asked, "About our mother, how did you know that she died?"

My eyebrows pulled closer, "What?"

"When I saw you there, I didn't think about it, but seriously, how did you know?"

"Ronald told me," I answered.

He stared at me for a long second before he nodded his head, convinced. It felt weird to see him like this, so serious. I didn't expect it from him, not at all.

Right when he was about to walk away, Nik got back into the kitchen, a towel in his hand as he dried his hair. He paused when he saw Alex leaving, his eyebrows pulled closer, "You leaving?"

Alex nodded, "Yeah."

He sensed something tense in the atmosphere, "Everything okay?"

Alex nodded his head again, "Yeah, see you later."

Nik's eyes flickered to me, his gaze questioning and I smiled in return, "I should leave as well," I said, picking up my purse and walking to his side. I tiptoed and kissed his cheek, "I have to get to the clinic, see you later, okay?"

Confusingly, he just nodded his head.

With a small forced smile, I walked away and left the house, a hundred different questions roaming through my brain.

*********************************

Hey, it's been a while!
I hope you liked the chapter ;)

What are your thoughts?

Nik is different in every aspect, even when it comes to Natalie, is it a bad different or a good different. We'll leave time decide that ;)

Also roman and Emma, these two are cute. Let's hope nothing happens to them ;) I mean, anything could happen.

And lastly, Alex's full on defensive mode. My baby is not about to tolerate anything when it comes to his kids.

Btw, happy birthday to niash29 , thank you for always being so sweet and supportive. She is an Ashton-fan, so let's all wish she meets her real life Ashton soon 🤭🥳
Wishing you a great year ahead, love ya♥️

See y'all later! :)