"When you are not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off knives."

*************

Alex's POV

"Hello?" I said, my tone questioning at the unknown number calling me at this hour as I leaned my back against the car, my eyes focused on the bar across the road from me, my gaze studying the interior and searching for someone in specific as I gazed through from the ceiling-length glass window.

No answer came from the other line, but I could distinctly hear someone suck into a deep breath, hesitant or maybe playing a game on me. Having no time for this bullshit, I almost hung up at the lack of answer but right then, a specific voice mumbled a low, "Alex."

My jaw tightened, my eyes pressed shut immediately, and a harsh breath pushed its way out of my chest; where the hell did she even get my number from? Does she ever give up?

"What do you want?" I asked, rather harshly but I didn't care. She should be grateful I didn't shut the call the second I heard her annoying voice.

My eyes caught a glimpse of Nikolas inside, my head tilted as I tried to get a better look, preparing myself for whatever is going to welcome me once I walk in there, but his body language gave me nothing. The total opposite actually, his back seemed relaxed now as he sat on the stool across the bar, a drink wrapped between his fingers, he brought it up and drank down the whole thing at once. My gaze left him and wandered around, noticing how the bar was almost empty, just a few people here and there.

"Please don't hang up, I just want to ask one thing from you," She said, and I almost forgot she was on the other line. Her tone was soft for some reason, but at least she is fully aware of my intentions and utter distaste toward her. I kept silent, rolling my eyes, ushering her to carry on using the minimal word count possible, "I know you and Nik fought, it was mainly because of me, but please, he is not okay at all, he left the house this late and I don't know where he went," Well, I know exactly where he is, "And I am just so worried, I know that you've got your differences now, but please Alex...your brother, he...he needs you."

Oh, such a sweet mother she is, trying to make amends between us. Mother of the year award must be granted to her immediately. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again. This woman is capable of pushing all of my buttons at once. She makes me harsh, mean, and bitter...things that aren't a big part of who I am, but she...oh, she is special in that sense, she brings out the worst in me. I don't think I ever hated anyone as much as I do her.

She took my silence as a refusal to her request, because she kept on talking, as if I have time for her, "If it's because of my presence, I promise I will stay out of your way whenever you come here, I promise, I won't bother you ever again," Her voice was choked, tight with so many emotions and I could clearly imagine her fake tears scrolling through as she spoke, playing the victim and appointing me as the predator, attacking her as if I don't have every right to treat her the way I do.

She sniffled, kicking herself in, and adding more words, "It's just...Isaac, he really has a talent for breaking people down, and I am so worried about what Nik could do next, I just don't want him to be alone at all, it's enough that it's his birthday and all of this is happening to him," Something akin to anger raged into her tone as she added, "They just can't let him catch a break, can they-"

His birthday?

The bit of fury cleared out from her voice, sucking into a deep breath as she ended it with, "I didn't know who else to ask this from, but you mean the world to him, and only you can help him, Alex."

So, is it everyone's job today to ask me to take care of Nik...as if I wasn't going to do it by myself, as if they worry about him more than I do. It's the main reason he's a massive pain in my ass, it's because I can't help but worry about him, every damn second. Despite everything, losing him again is out of the equation for me. I won't allow it.

"I know where he is," I said, my tone neutral, I didn't owe her any explanation anyway, "And I am already there, I don't need you to tell me what to do when it comes to him."

"Oh, I...I didn't know," Genuine shock wrapped her words, "I am sorry, I just, uhm, is he...is he okay?"

I shook my head, my eyes on him still, "I don't know, I am going in to see."

"Okay, I am sorry, I just...I didn't know what else to do, it's why I called-"

"It doesn't matter," I mumbled, having enough of her for one day, "Just never call me again."

"I won't," She whispered.

"Good," I grumbled out.

When she kept silent, I let out a low breath, rubbing a hand over my eyes, my headache felt like it was cracking my skull in half, "Anything else?"

"No, no," She said, "I just wanted to say..." She sucked into a deep breath, "You know what, never mind," She added, anxiously, "Just thank you."

"I am not doing you any favors, so don't thank me," I said, "I am hanging up now, bye," I added, ending the call before I end up throwing more insults at her due to my frustration.

I hefted out a loud breath and brought a hand to my face, my fingers rubbing circles over my temple, the ache throbbing against my skull intensifying with every passing second. Having no time to postpone any of this, I shook myself back in, straightened my body, and headed for the bar. Pushing the door open, I walked toward Nikolas's side, having no clue how I am gonna deal with him now.

Let's just go with the flow, I guess.

I took the barstool right next to him, my movements going unnoticed from his side at first, almost like he was in his very own head, unaware of what was unwrapping in the outside world. I dropped my phone and keys over the bar and settled down. The sound of my keys hitting the wooden surface was enough to shake him out of his trance, his gaze didn't waver nor move to meet mine but I was sure he saw me through his peripheral Vision, the tightness of his jaw was proof enough that he did.

His elbows were propped over the bar, his fingers going through his hair, holding into his head as his gaze fell down, staring at the spot right below him. I didn't look away, analyzing him some more. My eyes first took notice of the many cuts over his face, the bruise on his jaw, the ones on his temples, the bandage covering the area right below his shirt, and god knows how many more...

My jaw ticked, my fingers curled into a fist over the table but I kept my anger in, the thoughts of spilling Isaac's blood thrown to the back of my head as I focused only on Nikolas for now.

"You look like shit," I started and he continued to pretend that he didn't see me occupy the seat near him.

The bitch, always a big pain in my ass...

His ignoring session carried on, and when the bartender placed another glass in front of him, refreshing his drink, I immediately snatched it away and took a large gulp. If I am gonna deal with this him, I am gonna need all the alcohol there is in this bar.

"Seriously," I added, as I placed the glass back on the table, ushering the bartender to give us another two of it, "You look one second away from pulling your gun and shooting yourself," I added, hoping my mocking tone would make him speak, or at least give me any reaction.

"One day, I might finally get the courage to do it," He finally spoke, his tone so casual as he straightened his back, his hands moving down, and his arms rested over the table before he turned to me, his eyes finally meeting mine as he added, "So, if you want a second shot at it, go ahead, I promise I won't stop you."

He sounded serious and I shot him a hard glare, my jaw ticking in utter fury at him and his nonsense. I punched his shoulder really hard, hoping to knock him off his seat but he didn't even budge as I grated out, "Don't talk shit like that again!"

He didn't even care to comment on that; his eyes, the ones that were waving the white flag, just giving up on everything, and everyone, tired and exhausted, they looked away, unable to do the staring contest with me without breaking down and just confessing everything.

Ronald had told me about what he said. He told me how he wants to give up on everything and walk away from everyone. No way, I am not letting him get absorbed into this loneliness and isolation once more. It destroyed him before, it would just do the same again.

The bartender placed two drinks right in front of me before he went back to serve other customers. I picked up my glass, and used it to push the other toward Nikolas, clicking it with his before I brought it to my lips and took another large gulp, hoping the alcohol sting will lessen my pounding headache.

Nikolas didn't hesitate as well as he picked up his and drank it down, wishing the alcohol to heal his many many wounds, both inside out. I didn't know what to say, or what to do now. For the first time, he had left me speechless, immobile against this fucked-up situation, so I just sat there, keeping him company, and he didn't seem to mind that at all.

After my fourth glass of whiskey, my mind started to loosen up, the pain fading away and the logic eluding me whole. The intoxicated substance replaced my common senses with all types of irrationality. My fingers moved over the wooden surface, playing with my key chain, twirling the crystal ball against my fingertips. I felt Nikolas's eyes on me, more specifically on what my fingers were busy playing with.

I rested my cheek against my palm, looking at him as I spoke, "You know, I don't really remember who gave it to me in the first place," I said. It feels more like a vague memory, a one I am not sure if it's real or just a dream conjured up by my child-self.

His eyes drifted up to look into mine, they looked calmer now, a little more welcoming, the alcohol had finally taken its effect I suppose, "Why are you here?" He asked, not aggressive, just curious about the reason.

Before I could answer, I inched closer to him, my arm casually going around his shoulders and I lightly squeezed at the top of it. His eyelids dropped down at the contact, internally wincing, reminding me of Isaac and his doings.

My jaw tightened and I wrapped my fingers over the collar of his shirt, pulling it back slightly, "What did he do to you-" I grated out through clenched teeth, getting a very small glimpse before he pushed my hand away, stopping me from peeking.

"Nothing that hasn't been done already," He answered and I glared at him. How could he be so casual about this...why isn't he angry, furious even?

"How are you able to sit here now?" I questioned, "Aren't you in pain?"

He held the alcohol glass in his hand, raising it up to show me, "That's what this is for," He said as he drank it all down, hoping to numb the pain.

With my arm around his shoulder, I pulled him closer to me, he only groaned in return, not liking the physical contact very much, "Why didn't you tell me you and Nate broke up?" I asked, remembering that just now, my brain was slowly entering the drunk state and jumbling up all of my thoughts.

His eyebrows pulled closer, confused with my knowledge and he simply said, "You didn't ask."

I groaned loudly before I tried to explain to him normal human behavior, "Nik, Nikolas, my sweet pain in the ass," I said, "When things as such occur, you should tell me on your own, how would've I known to ask you!"

My words etched lines over his forehead, "Oh," He said in realization, his confused gaze on me, "I should've told you?"

I nodded, "Yup," I said, tapping my hand over his cheek and he didn't seem to mind that, "Next time she dumps your ass, you tell me, okay?" I said.

He nodded at first before he seemed to grasp what I actually said, his head shot back to mine, "Wait, why would she dump me again?"

I shrugged, "Because you're a very unpleasant person," I stated facts, "You're so very grumpy for no apparent reason, you have zero manners and you're very unbearable at times," I added, the list very long I'd need days to count it all, "Your suicidal, guilt-stricken, insanely obnoxious self is a big pain in the ass, my brother."

He was looking at me as I counted a few, the frown between his eyebrow deepened at my words, and his lips curled up in annoyance, at himself I guess because he nodded his head, sighing, "Yeah, you're right. I am all of those."

I nodded, "Yeah, but at least you're honest with yourself about it, that's a good thing," I tried to praise him a little, you know, trying not to kick a man when he's down, "You're also a little good looking, which sometimes could slightly compensate for your annoying persona."

He stared back at me in pure puzzlement, "We are blessed with good genes, be grateful for that," I added, "Me blessed more than you of course, but yeah."

His eyebrow raised, not satisfied by me constantly undermining him. He placed his hand over my arm and pushed it away from around his shoulder. I shot him a glare and placed it back. He huffed out loudly, irritated by my mere presence, "Stop touching me!"

"Shush, you love me," I said as I pinched his cheek.

He groaned in annoyance and I recalled Nate's words, "Natalie asked me to kiss you," I mumbled, my eyebrows pulling closer at the thought.

His eyes grew a bit wide, "Alex, I swear to god, if you do that, I am going to do something I promised myself I wouldn't ever do, which is punch you really hard on the face," He warned me, very serious and glaring at me, "I am not Emma, so back off!"

I shot him a glare, totally unfazed as I lightly punched his shoulder, such a bitch, "People beg for my kisses, your loss," I added, very much offended. It's not like I was gonna kiss him, but still, I would love to have the possibility presented just in case.

Okay, I am officially drunk...

I miss my cupcakes, she would never say no to my kisses...

Nikolas grumbled some incoherent words under his breath, reaching for another drink, hoping the alcohol could block me away from him. Being a good brother, I grasped my glass and drank as well, drowning with him in this intoxicated state.

"You didn't tell me it's your birthday-" I remembered again...wait, who told me that? Oh yeah, his stupid mother, right. I rolled my eyes, annoyed at the thought of her as it ruined my happy drunk mind, "I would've brought you a gift," I said as I rested my cheek against my palm, looking at him.

He looked back at me, totally unfazed, "Did she tell you?" He asked and I nodded, "I hate her," I said, expressing my feelings just because, and he shot me a glare, "I don't hate her," He said. I nodded, "Because you're stupid."

He sighed, and I shook my head, dismissing the topic as I added, "Anyway, what kind of gift would someone bring to Nikolas Viarchi?" I asked, my eyebrow raising, "I mean, is there anything in this world that you like?" I smiled, "Besides me, of course."

He looked like he was thinking it through, his lips curled up, eyebrows pulling closer, thoughtful before he gave up on it and simply shook his head, "Not much."

I nodded, "Told you, you are so unpleasant, you hate and dislike every good or at least pleasurable thing in this world," I feel like I am taking it a tad too much, he looks miserable, I should take it a bit easier...oh forget it, this is more fun, "I bet you even don't like cake."

He shook his head, "I don't."

"See, very unpleasant."

He nodded, "I know."

"Oh, wait, I know what to give you," I mumbled as I straightened my back and took my phone out. I unlocked it, the screen was a bit blurry but I managed through as I opened the photos, going for one album in specific. I squinted my eyes, trying to focus my eyesight as I chose a random video, and started it before I pushed the phone into his hands.

"What's this?" He asked, clueless as he held the phone.

"A phone."

He shot me a glare, "I know, I meant-" He started to say before his gaze fell into the screen, the low baby laugh that echoed from its speakers was enough to grab his attention and silence all of his next words. His eyes dropped down, gazing at the baby in the video. It was one of the many many videos I've taken of him. It's what happens when you are a parent, you feel the need to document just about everything. Those little cute monsters take all of your storage with their silly photos and videos.

I inched closer to Nikolas, watching the video as well and remembering which one it is. Max was sitting in his crib, Lilly right beside him, and many toys scattered around as they played together. It was when I bought him a new toy, it was a red Elmo, that starts laughing every time you touch or tickle him. Lilly was playing with the toy making it echo funny laughing voices and the sounds alone were making Max burst into pure laughter of glee.

His little hands were clutching into his tiny feet, holding himself up straight. Elmo laughed again and Max's eyes closed up as the sweet sound of joy bubbled out of him in the purest form of melody, a one more precious than anything in this world. A smile crept its way to my lips as I watched him, feeling so blessed that I got to witness this...him growing up, from the cute little ugly wrinkly thing he was into this adorable little human, that smiles every time he sees me, that holds his arms up for me to carry around, the one that falls asleep over my chest every night.

A weird type of tightness surged through my chest as my eyes flickered to Nikolas, whose whole concentration was focused on the screen, a breathless look in his hazy eyes as he watched Max, smile and laugh, happy and healthy. Just a perfect little thing that could easily turn your whole world upside down with a simple act as a laugh. Elmo made more sounds and Max threw his little head back, his joyous laughter had his hands leaving his feet and he fell backward on the bed, his legs aimlessly kicking out in the air as he continued to enjoy everything about this.

"He's the cutest little thing, isn't he?" I mumbled, my arm around his shoulders and gently squeezing at it, reassuring him, showing him that despite all, there is still so much good left in this world. There is hope, he should hold into that. I can't have him giving up now, not after everything we've been through.

"He is," His voice was a mere whisper. The video ended and I saw how his fingers wrapped tighter over the phone, indirectly compelling it to play the video one more time, so he could see him again, so he could hear him again. The muscles of his jaw worked, suppressing it all down. He turned his head slightly away from me, his other hand went to his face, rubbing at his eyes, trying to stop them from expressing the intensity of what was going on inside his chest.

I didn't know what to say, or even what to do when it came to this. Show him a video or a picture? I can do that. But not more. I can't. Selfish as it is, but Max is my son, a one I am not willing to share.

Nikolas recovered, or tried to at least. He rested the phone down over the table and was about to ask for another drink when I stopped him, "Let's get out of here," I urged, my arm leaving his shoulders as I tried to get up on two feet without falling.

The whole bar swirled around me for a minute and I pressed my eyes shut, shaking the blurriness and dizziness away. When I pried them open, Nik was staring back at me with furrowed eyebrows, "Go where?"

"Out," I mumbled as I pulled a couple of hundred dollars and placed them on the bar table, "Fresh air," I added, needing some oxygen. I talked with the bartender and asked for a whole bottle of liquor to take with. He handed me one and wrapped it in a cartoon paper, hiding it away as I pulled Nikolas along, who grumbled something under his breath like...leave me alone but I ignored him.

The moment I stepped outside, the crisp night air whipped around us and into my hair. I welcomed it in, feeling the coldness coat my hot skin. Nik was right behind me, he tucked his hands in his leather jacket, looking around us, pure clueless at what I was doing.

"We are not driving," I pointed out when I saw his eyes flicker to his car. He groaned and I pushed him with me down the road, "Where the hell are we going?" He said, being a whiney bitch per usual.

I kept ignoring him as my drunk mind navigated the way, we were so close anyway, so no way we'd get lost, my drunk brain assured me as I walked us to the targeted destination. We reached the Huntington beach pier shortly after. I internally praised myself for being able to reach here even in my intoxicated state. We walked along the bridge, the air chilly and brisk as we descended down the stairs. Nik kept mumbling some words and whining, disturbed that I pulled him out of his little comfort zone in the bar.

I reached the bridge's pillars, right beside the sea, and picked a clean spot before I dropped down, placing the liquor bottle beside me and opening up the cap. Nik hovered over, glaring down at me and I patted the space by my side, "Sit and stop being so unpleasant."

He rolled his eyes, giving up on fighting, and sat down, joining me, because he had no other choice. He rested his back against one of the pillars, and his gaze flickered to the sea, watching how the night had painted it with a darker shade, the water calm and peaceful, the sight beholding ahead felt so refreshing after one hell of a day.

Nikolas beside me sucked into a deep breath, taking it all in, his eyelids dropping slightly before they opened up again, blinking as he kept watching the sea, "Natalie loves the sea," He mumbled, his voice low, almost like he accidentally spoke his inner thoughts out loud.

I looked at him and smiled, "Aww, look at you, remembering the small details about your future wife," I said, teasingly. I was enjoying him becoming totally whipped...finally, not just me.

He gave me the shut-the-fuck-up look, to which I ignored, wiggling my eyebrows at him and he pushed at my arm. I chuckled, "You're so in love, it's refreshing to see you like this."

"I am not," He grumbled out, as if I just insulted him.

"Why deny it," I pointed out, "It's a good thing, not a bad one, I swear."

He looked back at me, as if trying to think it through, figure out what he was feeling before he shook his head, dismissing it, "It doesn't matter anyway," he said as he snatched the bottle from me and placed it to his lips, taking down a large gulp.

"See, this is one of the reasons you are so unpleasant," I commented and snatched the bottle back, drinking down my share of the alcohol.

He tilted his head back, pressing it against the concrete, and closed his eyes for a long minute. I found nothing to lean into since he was occupying the space by the pillar. I inched closer and leaned against him, earning a couple of curses from under his breath but he was too exhausted to move me away.

"Your hair smells good," I mumbled, slightly edging backward as I brought my hand toward it, messing the sides, "It's very soft too," I added, "What shampoo do you use?"

His eyebrows pulled closer, "I don't remember," he mumbled before his eyes flickered to my hair, he brought his hand up and touched a couple of strands, "Yours is soft too."

I smiled, nodding my head, "Good genes, I tell you," I said, and he shrugged, agreeing with me, "Yours is darker though."

He nodded, "Yeah, yours is more like our mom's," he observed, and I rolled my eyes, "I suddenly feel less hot," I grumbled out.

He shot me a glare, "What do you want me to say, mine is like Isaac's," He added, very much disturbed at the fact.

"True those sons of bitches ruined our lives, but what can we say, it's their DNA that made me score girls since middle school," I said, raising the liquor bottle up as I raised my voice, "Cheers, Frank!"

Nikolas beside me chuckled, the alcohol had stripped us both of our common senses. I handed him the bottle, to drink what was left of it. I leaned back into him, my temple pressing over his arm, "Who do you hate more, Isaac or Frank?"

"Isaac," he answered, a little bit too quick.

My eyebrows pulled closer, "Really?" I questioned, "I won't deny that he is one big son of a bitch but Frank did much worse to you."

"Yeah, but still," Nikolas answered, explaining, "Frank wasn't my father, he had his reasons to hate me, but till this day, I can't figure out Isaac's reasons."

"Hmm, cuz he's a bitch, there is no other reason I guess?"

Nikolas sighed, and shrugged his shoulders, too tired to think it through, "What about you?" He asked, "Who do you hate more? Isaac or Frank?"

"Your mother," I answered, way too quick as well, "I don't want to say her name out loud because it's my daughter's name, so-" I added, my tone a bit bitter.

Nikolas pushed me off his arm, glaring down at me, "I didn't ask about her," He grated out, never able to accept my immense dislike toward the woman.

I shrugged, "Look, if we gonna fight again because of her, I will smash this bottle over your head," I said, partially serious as I raised the semi-empty liquor bottle, showing it to him.

He looked totally unfazed by my threat and snatched the bottle from me, placing it away from my reach, "Why do you hate her this much?" He asked, "I know she isn't the perfect mother, but still-"

My eyebrow raised, "I am too drunk to make a list now," I mumbled, the air harshly pushing off my chest.

He held me with a smoldering glare, trying to intimidate me, as if he can. I rolled my eyes, totally not impressed, "I hate her because she is the reason behind every single thing that happened," I answered, the only fact I am a hundred percent sure of, "I hate her because of what she did to you, she could've helped you but she was rather busy being her selfish self every single time you needed her."

"So what? You hate her because of me?" He asked, not believing it for some reason.

"Yes, don't worry, I don't have mommy issues, I don't even consider her as one," I added.

Nikolas's eyebrow raised, "You so have mommy issues," He said.

I shot him a glare, "Look who's talking, Mr. I have mommy, daddy, uncle, and even brother issues," I shot back, offended at the insinuation.

His lips curled up in annoyance, "Is this why you came here? To insult me some more?" He grumbled out, "Because believe me, I've had my share for one day."

I shook my head, "No, I am here because I am worried about you," I said, leaning back on him, "And I am not letting you go anywhere like you are planning."

There was a short pause from his side, "You can't change my mind this time, Alex," He said, his voice low and tired.

"I will," I said, my eyelids dropping down, my energy dropping with every passing second, "Even if it meant I have to kiss you to make you stay, then I will," I added, my tone playful, my lips tilting up into a small smile and I was sure he was smiling too.

A couple minutes of silence consumed us in, the only sound around was the sea waves crashing against each other, and the few cars that passed above us across the bridge.

"I am sorry," Nikolas said, breaking the silence, and just like I was leaning into him, my temple pressing over his arm, using him as my support at the moment, he was leaning back into me too, needing the support more than he could even imagine. His head tilted slightly, it rested over the top of mine, "I am sorry I've been so much trouble lately."

I sighed, my eyes still closed and I nodded my head, "Yes, you are a big pain in my ass, Nikolas," I mumbled, "And I'd hate to say it, but I think I love that pain for some reason."

His chest vibrated with a low laugh, "You're sure?"

"Uhuh," I answered, "You love me more, so shush, don't make a big deal out of it," I grumbled out, not wanting to feed into his ego.

"That I do," He said.

"So, you're not leaving?"

"I still am," He replied and I groaned loudly, "I hate you, you unpleasant human," I said.

"It's for the best, believe me."

"Yeah, letting Isaac win is for the best, of course, what was I thinking," I sarcastically remarked.

"We need to go," Nikolas said with a sigh, desperately changing the subject, "But, I am too tired to move."

"Me too," I mumbled as I pushed my hand into my pocket and pulled my phone out. Squinting my eyes at the screen as I dialed Ronald to pick us up.

**************

Nikolas's POV

Alex grumbled something as I pushed him inside the car. He immediately fell into the seat, his head tilting backward and pressing against the headrest, eyes closed, more than ready to fall back asleep. He was a gone case after all that we drank but for some reason, I still felt sober and aware. No amount of alcohol served its purpose to make me forget or at least lessen the pain pulsing through my head and body.

It was near impossible to let loose or relax after all that happened.

A loud sigh parted my lips at my failed attempts before I joined Alex in the backseat, exhausted and de-energized as I fell down beside him. Ronald looked at us through the rearview mirror, "Where to?"

Alex opened his eyes, "I am way too drunk," He slurred out, "Do not take me home," He added, moving to the side and leaving the wide space of the car to press himself into me. His head fell into my shoulder, using it as his pillow, moving his head around and picking up a comfortable spot as he closed his eyes again.

I shot him a glare, annoyed at how touchy and clingy he gets when drunk. A slight touch to any part of my being was triggering my pain receptors, but I didn't have it in me to push him away at the moment, he looked like a small little baby. Truth is, he does act like a little baby most of the time too. No surprises there.

I met Ronald's eyes through the mirror, "My place," I answered his previous question. He nodded in return and drove off without much of a word. He is being oddly responsive today, which is really weird and not like him. But I could care less at the moment to think it through.

I pressed my elbow against the car's door, my cheek resting against my fist, and my eyes focused outside, watching the buildings pass us by, my eyesight a bit hazy and blurry, the flashes of light overwhelming all of my senses. The alcohol did the exact opposite of what I intended, instead of omitting the present, it triggered the past. A torrent of memories pummeled through my brain, pictures of moments lost to time beat and crashed, eluding me of any self-control left.

My gaze flickered to Alex, who luckily enough had fallen asleep. My eyes drifted and fell onto his arm, the one resting over his lap, upside down. The rolled-up sleeves showed me another ruination that was mostly my fault too. Pressure squeezed my chest, almost as tightly as he once held the sharp end to his skin.

The arm that he was leaning against moved, it went around his shoulders, my chin pressing over the top of his head as I exhaled a pained breath from my lungs. "I am sorry," I mumbled, my words barely audible, "It was my job to protect you," I added, my eyes falling onto his arm once more, "Not the other way around."

He will never get my need to leave and be as far as possible from everyone. Isaac didn't break me physically, what he did wasn't anything new. The physical pain goes with time, I know it, I am used to it. Isaac succeeded only because he broke my mind when he forced me to face the darkest most twisted part of myself, and I don't think I can ever come back from that. I don't think I can accept just how corrupted I am.

I pushed the thought to the back of my mind when the car halted to a stop. Alex woke up when I shifted away, reaching the door to open it. I went down at first and before I could help him, he was already making his way from the other side. His hand rested over the car's hood, trying to balance and gather himself. I circled my way to his side, the haziness clearing out with every passing second.

"Do you need anything else?" Ronald asked, looking at us both.

Alex shook his head before he extended his hand and ruffled Ronald's hair, "Nope," He said. Ronald smiled at Alex's drunk gestures, "You're so cute," Alex said before he looked at me, "You know what, he and Natalie do look alike, if you are willing to switch lanes, I could try and matchmake you two."

On instinct, my hand moved and smacked the back of his head, shutting him up for once. "Oww!" He grumbled out, glaring at me as he rubbed at the back of his head. He cursed some words under his breath, something that sounded like bitch, pain in my ass...etc, before he turned around and headed for the building's entrance.

My eyes flickered to Ronald, who stared back at me with a horrified expression, "Just because I took care of you when wounded, it doesn't mean I...I uh...whatever he said," He screeched out, his eyes widening, terrified at the thought of what Alex suggested, "I'd rather you be with Natalie over this."

"Shut up," I shot out, he annoys me by just breathing sometimes. I ignored him and turned around, following Alex before he trips and fall or something.

He was waiting for me beside the elevator, ever so casually leaning against the metal doors, so when they opened, his balanced flailed, and almost fell before I caught him. My hand curled over his arm and pulled him back straight, "How come you're so wasted and I am not," I grumbled out as I let go of him. Can one thing just go the way I want in this life?

"Don't talk to me, you smacked my head," He whined, per usual but kept silent all through the elevator ride and politely waited, arms crossed over his chest as I unlocked the door of the apartment. I ushered him to come inside, he only shot me a hard glare before he stepped in.

He tumbled forward, heading for the living room and I followed. Right then, my eyes fell on my mother as she shot up from the couch, her eyes falling on us both. Alex groaned when noticed her, "Oh great, you again," He said in pure annoyance before he slumped over the same couch she was sitting on.

Her wary eyes went from him then back to me, her eyebrows pulling closer in confusion and trying to understand. I just shook my head, having no energy to explain anything at the moment. Hesitantly, she sat back down, her gaze on Alex, as if waiting for him to snap and make a scene like he always does when she is around.

He inched closer and poked her arm, "Hey, you," He said, calling for her, even when her attention was on him already.

"Yeah?"

"Nik smacked my head," He said, confusing us both by being not very aggressive toward her at the moment.

Her throat bobbed, gulping down, "Uh, why did he do that?" She went on with his nonsense.

Alex shrugged, "I don't know, tell him not to do it again," He looked at me, so very offended, as if I beat him down instead of a light smack that barely caused him any pain. He rubbed at the back of his head, "It hurts."

I rolled my eyes, he is even more dramatic when drunk.

Her lips slightly twitched as she watched him be his exaggerated usual self, "Where does it hurt?"

He took her hand in his and placed it on the back of his head, a spot on the other side from where I actually smacked him, "Here," He said.

She gently smoothed down his hair, a hundred different emotions pushed at her eyes as she stared back at him, enjoying for once being this close to him, "It's okay, it won't hurt in the morning," She mumbled, lightly rubbing her hand over where he pointed at.

He nodded his head, "Okay," He kept looking at her after, lines etched between his eyebrows as he added, "I still hate you by the way," He added, needing to remind her of that. I facepalmed, I think I am going to die before I see the day where he really stops hating her.

His words had her nodding her head, her jaw tightening, "I know," She mumbled lowly as she retreated her hand back and away from him, shaking herself back to reality.

"I want to sleep," He mumbled, shifting over the couch, and kicking his shoes off before he pulled himself up. Her eyes widened when he rested his head over her lap, getting way too comfortable with his current position as his eyelids dropped down.

I got up to my feet, wanting to leave them alone and needing to take my meds as the pain was starting to kick back in. I grabbed the folded blanket from over the other couch and threw it at his face. He groaned, cursing me some more and she moved it away, unfolding it to place it over his body, and tucking it below his neck.

I rested my hand over her shoulder from the back, "I am gonna go and try to sleep as well," I mumbled, grabbing her attention to me. She nodded her head, her hand reached for mine over her shoulder, and squeezed at it, "We'll talk in the morning, okay?" She said, implying that she has things she needs to say.

I nodded, "We will."

***************

Leya's POV

"Do you know a story?" He asked, out of the blue, his eyes closed still, I even thought he had drifted off minutes ago, but apparently not.

"Uh...a story?" I asked, confused.

"Hmm," He hummed, "I didn't have anyone to tell me bed-time stories before Frank took me," He explained, "After that, Linda used to tell me a story every night, it used to help me sleep," He was speaking but his tone proved that he was half here, half on the way toward unconsiousness.

"Oh, I don't know any story, I am sorry," I mumbled.

"I knew you wouldn't know," He said, his tone wasn't accusing or anything, just low and tired, stating a fact he believed in; that I lack any characteristic a mother should have, which isn't a lie anyway.

A couple of minutes passed till he was finally fast asleep. My eyes never left his face all through, for the very first time in so long he was right beside me, his head resting over my lap. He wasn't shouting nor pushing me away. I didn't know what to do or even say.

My fingers twitched as I brought my hand closer to his hair, it gently rested over his head, a feather touch at first, scared that I will wake him up somehow. When he stayed relaxed, I let my hand gently run through his hair, smoothing it back and away from his forehead.

Nerves jackhammered my heart into a frenzy, I could feel it throbbing wildly against my chest, unable to believe that this is him, and that he is here. My head tilted as I watched him, my gaze caressing down his face, trying to memorize every little detail about him, because I don't think I will ever get a second chance to do so.

Sometimes my mind can't wrap itself around the fact that he is my son. That he is a grown-up now, that he has his very own kids. I still imagine him as the small baby I held in my arms for a couple of days before he was taken away from me. I still imagine him as the kid I saw in Frank's basement. I went through this life with one son only, the other felt more like a dream, a fragment of my imagination that isn't real...

That's why he is right in the way he treats me, I don't blame him, I never will. I can't claim him as mine when I was never there for him. I can't expect anything but hate and despise from his side.

"Actually, I do know a story or two," I mumbled, feeling a couple of silent tears scroll down my cheeks as the memories pushed and pulled against my messy thoughts. I immediately wiped them away, "But I don't think it's the one you want to hear."

FLASHBACK

I crouched down in front of Nik and zipped up his jacket all the way up to his neck. I fixed his hat, pulling at the sides to cover his ears. A few strands of his hair had fallen over his forehead, I smoothed them down under the beanie, making sure he was all covered up before we have to go out under the heavy rain.

Big green eyes stared back at me, "Mommy," He rubbed his fist at his eye, still so very sleepy, "Where are we going?"

I took his backpack from the side and helped him put it on, "Remember how I told you that we'll go on an adventure, just you and me," I said, my voice so low and he nodded, "Well, how about we do it now?" I gave him a big smile, trying to make this seem like an exciting good thing when it was the total opposite.

I fixed his hat again when he pushed it away from his ears, "Without dad?" He asked, his eyebrows pulling closer in confusion.

I shook my head, my jaw tightening, the anxiousness ripping at my nerves, "No, just us."

He seemed to like that fact more than anything. He nodded his head, "Okay."

I palmed his cheek, smiling at his beautiful face before I pecked his cheek and stood straight. I opened my bag and gave it a thorough look, making sure everything I need is in there. I pulled my gun out and tucked it in the back of my pants. I pulled my jacket from the side and wore it before I took my bag, my eyes falling on my watch, checking the time. It was exactly four in the morning. Great.

I took Nik's hand in my mine in a very tight grip, and he looked up at me, so innocent and unaware, "We need to be as silent as possible, okay?" I said and without questioning, he just nodded his head.

Carefully, I pulled him along and out of the room, silently closing the door behind us. With light footsteps, I went down the stairs, my hand so very tight over Nik's, my eyes going left and right, back and forth, making sure no one is there to catch our escape.

We reached outside and I kept the main door ajar, scared to make a noise if I shut it close. I paused to a stop as I watched the rain get heavier with every second. It was so blurry, that I couldn't even see ahead of me. I sucked into a deep breath, gathering whatever courage I have left. Today is the only day I can do this, I've planned this for way too long to back away now.

The car is waiting for us on the other road, so I need to get out of the estate first and get all the way to the other side, under the rain, with a kid, and without anyone noticing. I let go of Nik's hand and crouched down, pulling his jacket's hat over the beanie, "Are you cold?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Okay, come here," I said as I picked him up into my arms, "Wrap your arms so tight over my neck," I urged him, "I can walk!" He shot out, annoyed. My eyebrow raised at his stern glare, "I know you can."

"I am heavy," He added and I shook my head, smiling at how he doesn't want to tire me, "No, you are a small little thing."

He looked more annoyed at that but did as asked and wrapped his arms tightly over my neck, his head resting over my shoulder, "I am not small."

I smiled, my hand rested over the back of his head, kissing the side of it and securing him in my arms, "You will always be my small sweet boy," I said and ran forward, under the rain and away from here.

I didn't stop, I was too scared to even catch a breath. The estate was big enough, and the road to the main gate wasn't an easy one but I kept running, it is the only day where there is less security in the house, it was my only chance. Once in a lifetime. A couple of minutes later, I was finally out of the estate but I didn't stop, I kept running, my body functioning on the adrenaline pumping in my veins as I took us all the way to the road on the other side.

I started to slow my steps when my eyes caught the headlights of the car parked on the side. I hurried my steps again, trying to reach it before it was too late. Once I was close, Richard went down, immediately opened the back seat, and ushered me to get in.

I placed Nik inside first before I followed. Richard closed the door and got into the driver's seat, immediately putting the car in reverse and he rounded his way before he took off into the road. The tires screeched in agony under the wet asphalt.

Once we were in the safe zone, his eyes met mine through the rearview mirror, "Are you okay?" He asked.

It wasn't till then that I let out a relieved sigh, and I nodded my head, "Yeah, yeah..." I turned to Nik, removing his wet jacket and beanie. I fixed his hair and took his little cold hands into mine, rubbing and warming them up.

My gaze drifted to the window, the rain and the darkness made it near impossible to make sense of our surroundings. I couldn't even see if someone was following us, or if someone noticed my escape. I really hope not. I turned my head to Richard, "Thank you," I mumbled, beyond appreciative. He was placing his own life in danger by doing this.

He just shook his head, "It's the least I can do," He said. Richard was a man in his forties, he worked alongside my father during his ruling days, and he was one of his most trusted men, loyal to the bone. Even after dad's death, he was always there when I needed anything. And to do this, I had to use any resources I have. Isaac isn't a piece of cake, running away from him is not going to be easy.

I pulled Nik into my side, my arm tight around his back as I leaned down and kissed the top of his head, "Try and sleep, we have a long way ahead, okay," I said and he nodded, pressing his head against my chest and it didn't take him long to fall fast asleep in my arms while me on the other hand, I couldn't even blink my eyes, anticipating this to go south any minute now.

More than five hours later, we finally reached our destination. A lump lodged in my throat as I watched us approach the building. Nik had woken up half an hour ago, he was just looking out of the window and trying to understand where we are.

Richard parked the car by the building's entrance and Tanya, my closest friend was already waiting there for me. She rushed forward toward the car and opened my door, a sigh of relief left her when she saw me and Nik, all okay and unharmed after our very reckless attempt, "Come on." She said.

I thanked Richard one more time and told him that we will keep in touch about what I will do next before I went down the car, and pulled Nik along with me. Tanya's eyes fell on him and she smiled widely, "Oh look at you, you are a big boy now," She said wholeheartedly as she ruffled his hair.

He gave her a small smile in return, liking the comment very much. Tanya gave him a wink before she looked back at me, immediately reading all of my distress and anxiousness. Escaping from the house was easy but this...this is not easy at all. This is the hardest part of all.

She gave me an assuring nod and took my bag, her hand over my back, forcefully pushing me inside the building. I let her lead my way, my hand holding into Nik's small one, scared to let go. We reached her office shortly after and she closed the door behind us, needing privacy to discuss what to do next.

"Nikolas, come sit here, sweetie," She said, smiling at Nik and ushering him to sit on the other side of the office, where two small couches were positioned, "You must be hungry," She told him, opening the bag over the table and taking its contents out, "I brought you some food, here you go," She carried on and I fell into the chair by her desk, resting my throbbing head in my hands, trying to come in terms with where I am and what I am doing.

Tanya let Nik eat his food before she came to my side, sitting right across from me, "Yesterday, the couple came, they wanted to start the adoption papers right away. I tried to postpone the whole process but there isn't much I can do after this," She dropped the news I was expecting on me and I started shifting in my seat uncomfortably.

I shook my head, the tears welling up in my eyes, "Please Tanya, just one day, that's all," I mumbled, "I couldn't arrange a flight without Isaac noticing today," I shook my head, "Tomorrow at noon, it will be ready, I will take...," My eyes fell onto Nik, watching TV and eating his breakfast before it flickered back to her, "...take them both and get as far as possible from here."

She nodded her head, her hand rested over my thigh, trying to calm down my stressed nerves, "I know, I will try my best, I promise, I will try to find a loophole somehow," She shook her head, "I don't want this to happen either."

I nodded, harshly biting at my lower lip, "I can't lose him again," I whispered, and a few tears scrolled down, "This is my only chance."

She nodded, and worry tightened her forehead, "I know, I know," She said before she edged forward and wrapped her arms around me, trying to soothe down my pain.

We talked some more after and when Nik finished his food, we headed out of the office and went to another floor, "I have to get back to work," She said, "I arranged one of the empty rooms for you to stay in tonight," She paused by one of the room's door and I could distinctly hear kids laughter and chatter coming from behind it. She gave me a knowing look, "Are you ready?" She asked.

I gulped down and nodded, my hand tightening over Nik's, trying to take reassurance from the little innocent kid, "Yeah," I whispered, my heart beating a thousand miles per second as she opened the door and stepped inside.

The room was wide, a playroom for all the kids to gather at, there were small tables and chairs at one corner where some kids were sitting and drawing. On the other side, there was a mini-basketball hoop, that could barely reach my knee, with many small balls scattered around as the kids played.

My gaze flickered all around the room, searching for one kid in specific, "He is the one over the-" Tanya was about to speak, about to tell me which one was my son, but she didn't need to, I already saw him and recognized him, "Over there," I mumbled, my throat tight with the lump lodging it. I couldn't breathe.

He was sitting down on the other side of the room, the lego pieces scattered around him as he played with them, trying to build something out of nothing. I pressed a hand to my mouth, choking back tears as I watched him do the simplest of tasks. The last time I laid eyes on him, he was three days old, and now he is three years old. So big and still so very small. I've already missed way too much, I can't bear to miss anymore years, nor even days...

His head tilted as he watched the block he built with utter concentration. His hair was a beautiful mess over his head, a very light brown, long enough for some strands to fall over his forehead and cover his eyes as he played. He would push them away with his little tiny hands but they would fall back again to disturb his comfort.

One of the kids playing with the ball, accidentally sent it flying against his block, making the lego pieces scatter all over the floor, ruining his little masterpiece. His eyes widened at the ruination, they fired up in annoyance and anger before he stood up and took the ball. He angrily threw it back at the kid, making sure it hits him right on the face.

I fought a smile through my tears, "He is a little troublemaker around here," Tanya said, her tone warm and the sound that made it out of my throat was unrecognizable, was it a laugh, or a cry of anguish...I didn't know.

He went back to the scattered lego pieces and stomped his feet, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched them with anger and irritation. He dropped down on the mat beside them but refused to start over again.

Tanya rested her hand over my arm, "You can stay with him for now," She said, "I will try to my best to arrange everything for tomorrow."

I nodded my head, so appreciative before I crouched down beside Nik, whose gaze flickered around the room in pure confusion. I tried to explain to him the situation, "Do you remember Alex? I told you all about him, right?" I asked and he nodded his head, the name still fresh in his memories.

I pointed at him, "That's him over there," I said and Nik's eyes widened slightly as his head turned around, looking at him, "Really?" He asked, astonished.

I nodded, smiling, "Yes, do you want to meet him?" I asked and he immediately nodded his head, a bit excited.

I straightened up and pulled him alongside me as I headed toward Alex.

I sat down on the mat by his side, ushering Nik to join me as well. Alex noticed another presence invading his private space and his big brown eyes flickered up to meet mine. Curiousness flooded into them as they flickered from me to Nik beside me.

"Hey," My voice barely made it out.

"Hey," he replied back, his voice a soft whisper, a baby, he is still just a little baby and I wanted nothing more than to pull him into my embrace, hug him, kiss him, smell him, assure him that I will never let him go, that I will fight everything and everyone for him and his brother but I couldn't do a thing, I could neither move nor speak. I just stared at him with the tears filling my eyes, unable to comprehend how he is so real and here, right beside me.

I shook myself back in, trapping the tears and stopping my emotions from taking the best of me, "You're not going to build it again?" I asked, trying to make a conversation.

His eyes fell on the scattered legos, glaring at them with pure irritation as he shook his head. He huffed out loudly and crossed his arms over his chest. I couldn't stop the smile creeping up my lips, he was just so small and so cute, I would and watch him be his own person for days and days and won't get bored.

"I can help you build it again," It was Nik who suggested that before he circled his way toward Alex's side. He sat down beside him on the mat and gathered the scattered pieces, closer for them to play. Alex stared back at him with furrowed eyebrows, so very confused at who he is, or why was he helping him. But it didn't matter for too long, he joined him shortly after, both trying to fix what the other kid ruined.

For an hour, I just sat there, silently watching the two interact, my mind busy planning what's to come, trying to visualize how tomorrow would look like, for once having a small tiny hope that maybe I can make this work; that I can escape, I can run and start a life far away, I can have my two kids by my side without having to sacrifice one for the other.

By lunchtime, Tanya came back, she asked for the kid's attention, and the responsible attendee tried to calm them all down, ushering them to leave the toys, sit and listen. Alex let go of his legos and scooted backward, accidentally laying his back against me as he intently listened. I looked down at him, unable to have enough as Tanya announced that one of the kids was leaving, that he got adopted and she urged the rest to bid him goodbye. I think it's just one of the things they do around here.

My eyes were on Alex still, so I noticed the way his shoulders slumped down at the news, a low breath leaving him as he pressed his chin over his pulled up legs, staring at the kid as he hugged the others, happy and giddy that he has his own family now.

"What's wrong?" I asked, inching my head closer to his face, so he could hear me through the loud shatter around us. He turned his head to look at me, his brows pinched in sadness, "I want to go too," He said, his voice the softest sweetest melody I've ever heard, still so new and learning.

His hair had fallen back over his forehead and involuntarily I extended my hand and brushed it away as he tried to explain something to me using his limited vocabs, "Tony...he left too, and now," He again pushed his hair away from his face with his whole palm, "...and now he has a mommy and daddy."

"You want a mommy and daddy?" I asked, biting at the inside of my cheek to stop myself from unraveling at the seams in front of him. He nodded his head, and with so much sadness swirling in his gaze, he said, "Yes."

I gulped down, my fist tightened over my thing. I can't give him both...just a mother, would it be enough? Would he like me? Would he enjoy living with me? Would he hate me? Would our life be stable and safe for him, especially when I am going to be on the run from one of the world's most ruthless twisted men? Am I doing right by him by taking the chance of being adopted by nice normal people, those who could give him much more than I ever can?

Too many doubts took over my thoughts but I shook them all away as I gazed at him some more. He looked so sad, a type someone this young should never have to bear. On instinct, my arms went around his small body, pulling him into my lap, hoping that I can clear his doubts, wishing to offer him a somewhat safe environment.

He settled in my lap like he belonged there, like he should've been there since day one and I resisted against my emotions, I tried to be strong for him, "What if you can have that too," I said, my hand on his face, brushing over his soft cheek, "Not a mommy and daddy, but a small family that is only yours," I added and he stared at me with so much innocence it ripped my heart into two.

"Maybe a brother too," I said, smiling as I looked at Nikolas by my side. His eyes drifted from me and fell on Alex, he smiled and scooted closer, his hand rested over Alex's arm, "You can come with us," He said, wishing for this more than anything.

Alex looked like he understood but also didn't. His young brain tried to process the information at once. He turned from Nik to me, his head tilted as he gazed at me, so clueless, "You will be my mommy?"

Tears welled up in my eyes and I nodded my head, my voice tight and choked, "If you want to."

He blinked, once and twice before he nodded his head, "I want to."

I smiled at his response, my hand palming his cheek and I nodded in assurance before Tanya came and interrupted us. She asked Nik to take Alex and play aside, leaving us to talk alone. She explained how she was able to give me one day only, and after that, it will be out of her hands to keep other people from taking my son and claiming him as their own.

I couldn't be happier. It was all I needed. One day. Just tonight and tomorrow, I will be out of the country. In a town, far away from anyone I know, somewhere where neither Isaac nor Frank could never find me.

"I am doing right by him, aren't I?" Hesitation swirled into my tone, my gaze drifting from my boys to Tanya.

She nodded, "Of course."

"It's just," I rubbed a hand over my burning throat, "From tomorrow onwards, our lives isn't gonna be easy, I am gonna be on the run, I am just terrified of that affecting them."

Tanya shook her head, her hand rested over my arm and she squeezed, "They'll have you by their side. It's all they need."

It's all I need as well.

Nik stayed by Alex's side for the rest of the day, playing together and I could do nothing but watch them, I would talk with Alex every now and then and I earned a few smiles that lightened up my whole world. As they stayed busy with one another, I tried to arrange everything for tomorrow, making sure nothing would go south. I have two lives with me that I need to protect at all costs.

When the sun went down and night started to take over, Tanya allowed me to take Alex to sleep with us in the room she had arranged. She was breaking so many rules for me, but it helped that she was one of the managers around here, it's the only reason that kept me slightly calm, knowing that Alex is in safe hands for the past years.

Alex had gotten more used to Nik than to me, I noticed it as he tightly clutched into his arm when we walked into the room, probably not used to coming into this side of the building, so he tried to seek some security from his older brother.

I closed the door behind us and dropped the bag containing his clothes into the floor. I looked around the room and sighed; Tonight could be a small test, to check if he can get used to my presence, if he can feel safe and happy with just the two of us.

I opened his bag and pulled one of his pjs before I walked closer to them. He was leaning into Nik with all his might, for some reason scared of letting go. Nikolas had his arm around his shoulders, understanding that his little brother needed him.

I couldn't hide my giddy smile. At least I did that right; I always talked to Nik about Alex, hoping he'd grow to love him even from far away.

I crouched in front of Alex, "Hey sweetie, don't be scared," I said softly as I rested my hand over his arm, "You're safe with us, okay?" I added.

His throat bobbed heavily before he nodded his head, his eyes moving around and trying to adjust to the new surroundings. I don't think it will be easy, but it's okay, I will do my best to gain his trust and love.

I showed him the pjs, "Now, let's change so you can sleep and rest, is that okay?" I suggested, giving him a small smile and pulled him closer to my side.

Nik went to the bathroom and I sat by the bed's edge, my hand curled over the hem of his t-shirt and I pulled it over his head. I unfolded his pj's and helped him wear it.

"What's that?" He asked, curious as he pointed at my wrist. My movements as I dressed him and the clicking sound of the bracelet seemed to grab his attention.

I unhooked it from over my wrist and handed it to him to see, "It's a bracelet," I explained and he took it into his small hands, his fingers playing with the crystal ball hanging from its end, "It's a gift from my father," I added as I pulled him up into my lap, enjoying having him this close more than anything at the moment.

I placed my hand over his, right where he was playing with the crystal ball, "He got it for me from one of his trips and he used to tell me that this small ball is magical," I said and he listened to me intently, invested in the conversation, "That it could keep me safe when he is not around," I smiled at the memory, "That it could make all of my wishes come true."

His lips parted, "Really?" he asked, eyes widening in astonishment.

I nodded with a big grin, adoring his wondrous little face. His gaze dropped down to his hands, twirling the ball between his fingers, and I took my chance, I inched my head closer and pressed my lips to his forehead, leaving a tender kiss: My nose buried into his hair, smelling him, and filling my lungs with all that he is.

It felt too much to have him this close and near that I couldn't hold it inside anymore. The tears scrolled down my cheek, one after another, taking with them all the agony and pain I felt every night I slept away from him.

I pressed my eyes shut, trying to control myself but failed. A few seconds later and I felt a small hand over my cheek, gently brushing my tears away. When my eyelids glided open, I met his beautiful ones staring at me, lines tightened between his eyebrows, "Don't cry."

I smiled, a somber one through my pain, my head tilted and I nodded, "I am sorry," I mumbled, my sorrow held so much more than he could ever comprehend.

He handed me my bracelet back and I placed it on again, I haven't taken it off since the day I first wore it. Alex moved over the bed and laid his head on the pillow. I took the spot right beside him, my hand soothingly running through his soft hair.

"Do you know a story?" he asked, looking at me as he rested his hand under his cheek.

I nodded my had with a smile, "Yes," I told him one of many stories I've spent the past years telling to Nik till all of his energy got depleted and he fell fast asleep.

Nikolas crawled to his side and placed his arm around him. I gave him a wink and he smiled widely, "We will take him with us, right?" He asked, so hopeful.

I nodded my head, "Do you want us to?"

He nodded his head multiple times, "Yes, please," He tightened his arm around him, "I love him."

My smile grew wider and I inched closer, kissing his head, "And I love you," I kissed him again, "So very much."

I moved a bit and pressed a kiss to Alex's temple, whispering just how much I love him; Something that he will learn and believe in as the time pass us by.

Nikolas fell asleep right after and I spent the better half of the night just gazing at them both, making sure they're okay, covering them up every time they shift or move till the tiredness took over me and I fell asleep as well.

I don't know how many hours later but a jolt of panic woke me up from my horrific nightmare. I shot up from my laying position, and my eyes flew open to a heavy blanket of darkness as I heaved the air in and out of my constricted lungs. Breathless. Battling with a war inside my own head.

It took me a second or two to calm down my heartbeats and relax. I rushed a hand over my face and pressed the other to my chest, rubbing at it as my eyes drifted to my right, hoping my movement didn't wake up the kids.

The panic hit back with full force when my eyes fell on only Alex laying down beside me and Nik was nowhere to be seen. My eyes widened and I stumbled out of the bed so fast I almost tripped.

I pushed the bathroom door open, checking, looking all over the room and calling for him but I found nothing. Anxiety thundered through my veins, spreading like wildfire along the surface of my skin as I rushed outside, looking for him.

Lights and sounds came from the hallway across the stairs and I ran, a sixth sense arising all of my worries and I rushed forward only to come to a sudden stop at his anticipated sight, the air snapping off my lungs when my eyes met his devious ones.

His lips tilted up, smiling, the smile he always gave before every storm he wrecked over me. My gaze flickered from his wicked eyes, to his winning smile, before it fell over his hand, the one holding into my son so tightly.

Nikolas eyes found me, terror swarmed them as he tried to break free, wanting to reach for me, "Mom-" he tried to say but Isaac harshly pulled him back, and away from my reach.

"My beautiful wife," He sarcastically started, "I was worried about you," He added and my jaw tightened, my eyes flickering to his men that held Tanya and the other workers back, reflecting all of his warnings and threats without the need of words.

"Let him go!" I grated out, my eyes on Nik, who looked so scared.

He tightened his grip over the boy's shoulder, "Why would I?" He questioned, "So you really thought you could take my son and go away without me finding out, huh?"

His eyebrow raised, mocking my attempts, his eyes drifted into our surroundings, "You are so very predictable, wife," He mocked, "I knew this will be the first place you'll go to-"

I made sure he didn't know where Alex is because he always threatened me that he will inform Frank about his...illegitimate child. It's why I tried my best to keep this part hidden and tucked away from them both...looks like I failed in that too.

I ignored his words and stepped closer, trying to reach for Nik, but Isaac pulled him backwards, "Oh no, no, since we are already here, and you think you are so smart to run away from me," He said, so much fury building up behind his eyes but never once seeping through his words. He was always in utter control, which made him more dangerous, "Let's make a choice, shall we?"

My jaw ticked, knowing exactly where this is heading, "I am not gonna stop you, see, I am being so generous today, if you wanna stay with your bastard of a child, then please go ahead," He said, ever so casually, holding me by a thread, "Pick him and go wherever you were planning to go, you will never hear from me ever again, but know for sure, that as of this moment, you will never take another glimpse of Nikolas ever again."

My eyes flickered to my boy, as the tears welled up his eyes, wincing whenever Isaac tightened his grip over him. My jaw tightened, my pulse accelerating and my mind crashing, realizing just how badly I failed.

"Or you could forget about him and come back with me to where you really belong," He added, pretending to give me a choice. He wasn't. There was no choice to be made. He knew that. He knew that I can't leave Nik for him to ruin and hurt as he pleased. He knew and he still loved to play me, he loved to break me, it was his favorite hobby, a one he practices everyday.

"I will go get my things," I mumbled, and he smiled, accomplished and satisfied, "Good girl," He said, the edge in his tone promised me of pure hell once we get back to...where I belong.

I looked at Nik, giving him a small assuring smile, "I will be back sweetie, okay."

He gave me a light nod as Isaac pulled him along, "We'll be waiting in the car," He announced, ushering his men to follow.

I rushed back to the room, trying to hold in my emotions, I will have enough time to break over this later. To my surprise, Alex was standing by the room's entrance, rubbing a fist into his sleepy eyes.

Seeing him, knowing how every plan I made was about to be tarnished, I dropped to my knees by his side. Control eluded me and tears fell through as I looked at him, memorizing his beautiful face, his beautiful eyes, his soft skin and heart-melting scent.

Before he could say a thing, I wrapped my arms around his frail body and pulled him into my chest, so very tight, "I am so sorry," I sobbed into his tiny shoulder, "I am so sorry," I mumbled once again, "I can't leave your brother alone with him, I just can't," I shook my head, furious at how everything turned out by the end, "He would ruin him, I can't let him do that, he needs me."

I pulled back, staring at his confused innocent face, and holding it between my hands, "You still have a chance, it's late for me to get Nikolas out, but it's not too late for you," As long as Frank doesn't know about him, he will be safe, he will have a normal life, a one I am incapable of affording due to my origins and the tainted blood in my veins, "You can have everything I will never be able to give to you."

A normal life. A safe life. A happy one.

"You will be okay," I added, assuring myself before I could assure him. I forced on a smile, "You will have a mommy and daddy like you want."

His eyebrows pulled closer, "But you will be my mommy."

I shook my head, hiccuping back a sob as I tried to suppress it down, "I want to be your mommy so bad," It was my simplest right, "I want to watch you grow up right in front of my eyes," I caressed his face, storing his features into my memories, scared that one day I will forget, "I want you and your brother to be there for each other all the time...I want so many thing my baby, but I can't..." I shook my head, "I can't have it all."

I retreated my hands away, preparing myself for the inevitable, "I am sorry but I have to go."

I don't know if he understood my words, or was it my tears and broken state that triggered him to cry. Redness filled his eyes as a few drops fell down, "Don't go."

His few simple words had me pull him into my chest again, kissing his hair, his forehead, his face, "I love you so much," I cried out, "I always thought that giving you up that first time was the hardest thing to ever happen to me," I shook my head, "But this is even harder."

I sniffled, trying to gather myself, needing to go back to Nik. I wiped at Alex's cheeks, removing his tears away till there was none left.

My gaze fell into my wrist and I removed the bracelet. My heart in my throat as I took his small hand in mine, opening it upside down and placing the crystal ball in his palm.

"My wish is for you to always be okay," I smiled at that beautiful flawless imagine in my head, "To be safe and happy," I closed his fingers over the ball. I inched my head closer and pecked his cheek, my lips beside his ear as I added, "Now, it's your time to wish."

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Hello!

How was the chapter? I hope you liked it.

I know most of you hate Leya, so I am sorry you had yo read her POV xD
Don't know if her POV made you change your mind about her or just hate her more! xD

She did lots of wrongs, I know but I sympathize with her to some level. She just wasn't strong enough to withstand the storm like Cara did, and I don't think we can blame someone for not being strong enough...

Anyways, exciting chapters are awaiting for us from now onwards. I mean, anyone misses Nik and Nate together? ;)

See ya next time!
Love ya <3