"If I conquered all of my demons, there wouldn't be much left of me."

***************

Nikolas's POV

"Please tell me you weren't just about to shoot him," Alex said, his bewildered eyes drifted between me and Roman.

"Shoot who?" Emma's voice had me turn my head to see her walking through the door, her eyes suspiciously drifting between the three of us.

"Alex, you don't get it," I tried to explain and his eyebrow raised, "Get what for god's sake, you were pointing a gun to Roman's back just a second ago, weren't you?"

"Wait, what?" Roman asked, his eyes growing wide, "I mean I know we never liked each other, but I thought we were on the same team."

Emma's eyes grew wider and she took a threatening step forward, "You did what?" She questioned, "Nikolas, please tell me you weren't about to kill my husband."

My jaw tightened, "Well, I stopped myself, didn't I?"

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Emma grated out. Seconds only and she was in my face, I wasn't expecting her attack as she pushed me away, making the gun drop out of my grip, "It's Isaac, isn't it?" She shot out and my hand immediately grabbed her wrist, stopping her punch.

"Emma!" I stressed out, warning her.

But looks like I unleashed a monster, "You're unbelievable!" She snapped and I kept dodging her punches, one after the other, trying my best to keep calm and not attack back.

I grabbed her arm, then the other and my anger had me pushing her back against the wall, "Don't make me do something I'll regret, Emma!" I snapped back, and the harshness in my eyes pinned her down.

Air pushed harshly out of her lungs and her unconquerable eyes stared up at me, "And to think I was starting to care about you," She commented, venom dripping between her words as she pushed at my chest, forcing me away from her, "I thought you and I are the same," She scoffed, "But I am not a coward like you."

"You let Isaac manipulate you, just like he did with Alex," Her gaze drifted between us, "You two are really brothers, aren't you?"

She walked away, "I am going back to London," She said, "I am not gonna stay and try to help someone who doesn't want to be helped."

Roman's shocked eyes followed her as she left the room, taken aback by the fact she was at his side for once. He took that as his cue to follow her, leaving both Alex and me alone.

Alex's disappointed gaze fell on me again and he broke the silence, "Seriously?" He asked, in disbelief.

"You seriously considered killing him?" He questioned and I shrugged, "It was simple math, his life for all of yours," I explained, and the anger in his eyes only doubled as I added, "I was willing to take that risk."

His eyes grew a bit wide, shocked that this part of me still exists and the muscles of his jaw tightened, "What happened?" He asked, "What in the hell did Isaac tell you?"

The accusation in his tone had me defending myself, "He knows everything Alex, he is always watching us, he fucking knows where I live," I can't begin to understand how he does it, "I kept Natalie there thinking it's safe, but he was just baiting me, he knows everything, he is always a step ahead," I snapped, frustrated at the situation, "What was I supposed to do?"

"So what, he told you to kill Roman in exchange of what," His eyebrow raised, "Keeping us safe?" He shook his head, "I don't buy it," He said, "You were gonna go back to him, weren't you?"

I nodded, "It's the only way."

"Giving up?" He took a step forward, "Giving up is the only way?" He shook his head, "You know why he asked you to kill Roman?" He questioned, "Because he knows if you do that, we all would turn our backs on you, you'd be alone and defenseless again, and he'll swoop in and take you to his side just like he did last time."

I know my father's fucked up motives but I don't have it in me to fight a losing battle with him anymore, "It's why he played his mind games on me as well, pushing me to kill you," He pointed out, "He didn't want you dead or else he would've not saved you right after I shot you," He carried on, "What Isaac want is one thing only, he wants you to be alone, to have no one, he wants for us to hate you and for you to hate us, because he thinks that when you'll have no one, you'll have him."

"I know what he wants, Alex," I said, "But he won't stop till he reaches this goal of his," I won't let him do that, "So, me leaving, me giving up to him is much better than him killing you all."

"You can't give up, Nikolas, I didn't do all of this for you to give up now!" His voice bellowed into the room, frustrated at my words and actions, "When you wanted to ruin my life, you didn't give up, so why now?!"

"Back then I had nothing to lose!" I said, "But now I could lose hell a lot, and I can't afford that!"

"Unbelievable," He mumbled, pressing a hand to his forehead, "You know, people called me insane, asked me how could I look past everything and be here," He said, pointing at me, "Here by your side," He shook his head, "I didn't care to their words, because I know that despite all, my brother is still in there," His jaw tightened, "But this...you giving up to Isaac, you just considering to kill Roman, that's not, it's not what I signed up for!"

I scoffed, "Because that's what I am to you, what I am to everyone," He doesn't know how fucking helpless I am feeling at the moment, "Someone you're just trying to fix."

He shook his head, "No, I never wanted to fix you," He admitted, "I just wanted to be here so when shit like this happens, you'd come to me, so that when Isaac is trying to play mind games on you, I'd be here to pull you out, that I could be someone you can depend on, Nikolas," He carried on, calling me out on my actions, "But that's something you don't know how to do."

"You don't know how to trust me, do you?" He asked, his tone showing that he already knows the answer to that.

The moment of silence that settled between us after his words, I broke it with a slight shake of my head, "No," Was all I said.

I don't know how to trust myself, how could I manage to trust anyone else?

"In a situation where I am the one who shouldn't be able to trust you," He commented, "It's the other way around, huh?" His eyebrow raised, "Why, I just need to know...why?"

"Because of everything I've done to you," I pointed out the obvious, "Alex, you're here only because you feel guilty, you shot me, you practically watched me die, and you're here just trying to make up for that," The words I was saying myself brought a bitter taste to my mouth, because I selfishly wanted more than just this cause, "But, one day, you gonna wake up and you'll look back at everything and realize what big of a mistake it was to help me."

"This bullshit is only in your head," He said.

I shook my head, "No Alex, it is not, I took your daughter from you, for god's sake I hurt the woman you love, what more do you want?"

My words were enough to bring that fire back to his eyes, and the muscles of his jaw worked, "Don't you dare bring Cara into this," He stressed out, word by word, and his hand curled into a fist at the side.

"See," I said, showing him the truth, "You can't even handle us talking about her, Alex."

I triggered him and all I felt after was his hand wrap over the collar of my shirt and he pushed me backward, "I know what you're trying to do," He grated out, "Don't think yourself so smart, you're just trying to push me away so you can go back running to Isaac," He added, showing how he read the thoughts running through my head, "Emma is right, you are a fucking coward," He spat the last sentence and harshly released my shirt.

"Because everything you said now is a lie, this is not why you don't trust me," He stated, so sure, "I know why, but do you have enough courage to look back at the past and admit why," His words pressed up against my chest, multiplying the ache and my jaw tightened, "Don't," I warned him.

He scoffed, "Exactly what I thought," His eyebrow raised, he was fucking baiting me as if I needed this right now, "For once only look back Nikolas, face it, just fucking face it already," He snapped, "You can't trust anyone, not because of what Frank did, not because of Isaac, and not even because of that mother of yours, so just admit it, admit why you don't trust me?"

"Alex, stop," I hoped the threat in my tone would make him shut up.

He shook his head, "No, you need to face it, you need to stop being such a coward when it comes to pain, prove me wrong, prove Isaac wrong, and just fucking tell me, why don't you trust me?"

His words sent me reeling, "It's because you never came back!" I snapped, the echo my voice left hit me back with a bang, dragging my brain down that memory lane, back to the point that I didn't want to relive again.

He nodded, agreeing, "I didn't," He took a step forward and said what I wanted to say out loud, "You waited for me for years and I didn't come back, you trusted me and I broke that trust."

"It wasn't your fault back then, I get that-"

"But, it still hurts," He interrupted me, showing just how much he understands me.

I shook my head, my heart racing through my chest, "It's not by my hand," I can't control it, I just can't get myself to trust anyone, to depend on anyone, or to lean into someone when shit like this happens, "Going back to Isaac now is my decision, and you can't stop me."

He nodded, "I know," He said, "But if you go back to him, you'll be throwing everything behind," He said, "Lilly still looks at you and sees a father," He started, counting what I will be losing, "I am here because I care about you, not because I feel guilty," He turned his head to where Emma walked away, "The moment you called Emma, she threw everything behind and rushed here for your help," He added, "Natalie, who doesn't even know you for that long, accepted the danger she is in and just wants to help you."

But why...why would they willingly put themselves in these situations for me?

I don't deserve it.

"You think you are not worthy of anyone's love or care, and whether you accept it or not, there are still people here who care about you, but if you are ready to ignore that and leave all of this behind, if you are ready to give up, then maybe you're really not worth it because you are not willing to fight," His words hurt, he wanted them to hurt so maybe I could finally understand, "That's all I am asking from you, just fight, fight Nikolas or else you will lose everything."

"I don't have it in me to fight anymore," I am tired, can't a person be tired after thirty years of fighting?

"Then, I am not gonna stand here and watch you go through this self-destruction again," He took a step backward, "If you stay, if you fight, you have me, every step on the way," He said, ready to turn around and leave, "But if you give up, if you go back to him, then forget that you have a brother."

****************

Emma's POV

"He is unbelievable!" I snapped in frustration as I marched into the room, searching around for my stuff, "This stupid little shit, I can't fucking understand him," I snapped again as I harshly pushed my things into the suitcase, letting my anger onto the poor clothes, because if I let my anger on his face, I will either kill him, or he'll end up killing me.

I groaned in frustration when the zipper of the suitcase didn't work, which only led my rage to double and triple before I pushed it to the ground, letting its content scatter all over the floor. My pulse took off a sprint and I kicked it, once, twice, and till I lost count.

The hand landing over my shoulder from the back got my nerves firing up and my fingers wrapped over his wrist as I quickly turned around, aiming my elbow at the chest of whoever dared to touch me when I am not in my senses.

"Fucking hell, Emma!" Roman said, the force of my attack pushing him backward, and a low groan of pain rumbled off his throat as he clutched to his chest to where I just hit him with everything in me. My eyes widened and he rubbed at his aching chest, "So one minute you defend me and the other you're back into kicking my ass, Jesus, just stick to one!"

I immediately walked closer and my hand went to his chest, "Are you okay?" I mumbled, my fingers gently rubbing over the area that I punched as my worried eyes flickered up to his face.

He stared back at me in absolute horror, "Okay, who are you and where is my wife?" He asked, way taken aback by my worry.

I gulped down, taken aback at my own actions and I took a step back from him. My gaze drifted around the room in confusion and I rubbed a hand over my burning throat, "Oh fuck, why do I feel like this?" I mumbled lowly, before I pressed a hand over my forehead and closed my eyes shut, wincing as I finally understood the reason behind my sudden overprotectiveness over this human being, "Oh shit, it's the damn hormones, isn't it?"

"What?" Roman asked, ever so cluelessly.

My jaw tightened and I walked toward my purse and pulled the stupid thing out and pushed it into Roman's grasp. His eyes fell down and they grew even wider as he stared at what I just forcefully handed him, "This is...this isn't a...." His throat bobbed as his eyes fell back on mine, "Please tell me this isn't a pregnancy test."

My eyebrow raised and he let the stick drop to the ground as if it can take away the terrible news along with it. Shock mixed with pure confusion and horror in his eyes as he started pacing around the room, "Oh, fuck," He rushed a hand through his hair, "Fuck, fuck, fuck," He cursed under his breath before he paused in his steps and turned to me, "How...how did this happen?"

"Oh great, I am gonna have a child with someone who doesn't know biology," I sarcastically mumbled and he shot me a glare, "Well, babies happen when people have sex," I explained, "And well, we tend to do a lot of that."

The shock left him and was replaced with something that looked like worry, "What are you gonna do?"

I raised my arms and shrugged, "I have no fucking idea."

"We can't have...we just can't have that," He said, pointing at my stomach with pure terror.

"I know!" I snapped, both frustrated and a bit hurt by his reaction....wait a second, hold the fuck on, I am hurt? Why the fuck am I hurt by something as stupid as this?

Oh, shit...is being pregnant includes me getting emotional all the damn time?

No, no, hell no, I didn't sign up for this.

"I am in no way equipped to take care of another human!" I said, stating the obvious. All my life, I've only taken care of myself only, it's all I know.

Oh, fuck, why do I feel like I want to cry now...the fucking hormones again.

I don't want this!

I can't even grasp the thought yet. How in god's name is there an actual human living inside of me? There is a fricking human inside of me. AN ACTUAL HUMAN. Oh, here comes that nauseous feeling again.

Hold it in, Emma, hold it in. You're stronger than stupid morning sickness.

I could feel the bile rising up my throat and I immediately rushed to the bathroom. Yeah, I am definitely not stronger than it.

Morning sickness, one.

Emma, zero.

I wanted to cry out in frustration as I knelt to the ground and let all of my breakfast out. If anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat pancakes.

The gravity of everything happening kept me miserably sitting on the floor, by the toilet, feeling all types of unwanted emotions press over my chest. A few seconds in and I felt a hand over my arm, "Get up," Roman mumbled, his tone blank as he pulled me up to my feet and dragged me toward the sink. I felt too energyless at the moment, so I let him move me as he pleased.

He opened the water and took some into his palm and rubbed it over my face, with his other hand, he tucked my hair away as he washed my face up. He took the towel from the side and gently dried my face. I stared back at him and mumbled, "I hate you," I pouted, feeling like I am about to break into tears, "This is all because of you."

His jaw tightened and he pulled into a deep breath, "Emma with pregnancy hormones," He mumbled to himself in annoyance, "Just what I needed."

***************

Nikolas's POV

One of his men opened the backseat of the car and Isaac went down the car, his hand lifted up to his shades and he took them off, his brown eyes falling on mine. Age didn't do him dirty as it once did to Frank, it's the total opposite actually, he walked toward me on confident steps, and his whole being screamed power and strength.

He was the boss after all, and he wore that title with pure glory.

He paused a few inches away from me, and a smile curved his lips up, it made him look younger. The grey in his hair could be counted from how few they were, just scattered here and there.

My father knew how to take care of himself, and I wondered if by any chance he and I would fight hand on hand, would I win, or would he? Age didn't threaten him in any way, if possible, it only gave him more experience, it made him smarter, it gave him the enough power and knowledge to put me down.

"So, from your expression, I can safely say you didn't do it?" He asked, and amusement flickered all over his face.

I rushed a hand over my hair, "Killing Roman would only result in more trouble, you know that," I said, keeping my tone steady and my stance as strong as his, "The last thing we need is for the Brits to turn against us," I stated facts, "You also don't want to lose Emma over this now, do you?"

He scoffed, "I lost Emma the second she married him."

"Still, killing Roman will give us more trouble to deal this, so instead, we can do what you and his father once did, you two ruled together, side by side, I can do that now," I was fishing for any logical reason that doesn't end up in me killing him, "Roman and I will take over London, it will keep him under my eyes and my control, so he won't be able to make any wrong move against you."

Isaac nodded, "I know, but still, how can I know you are really on my side, you didn't kill him, you still didn't prove that your loyalty lays with me now."

My jaw tightened and I took a step forward, "Well, this deal goes both ways," I stressed out, "I am giving everything up to serve you, so you either believe I am on your side or not," I added, my tone showing him I am not messing around, "As long as you keep those that I care about out of this, you have me, but the moment you dare touch a hair on them, you'll have me as your enemy again, and believe me, it's then that I will show you the old Nikolas you desperately want and what he's capable of doing."

His smile came back at my words, "Now, this is the Nikolas I was talking about," He added, genuinely amused with my strictness, "The one that doesn't take shit from anyone, see, this is what I want and need," He said, "I think we have a deal, son, but you should know, serving me, includes killing and hurting a lot of people, innocent or not, young and old, men and women, can this new-you do that?"

I nodded, "As long as it's not those that I know, I am ready to do anything necessary."

He nodded, "Cool, I think your brother didn't get that good and righteousness in you as much as I feared he would."

"So, you will leave them all out of this?" I had to make sure one last time.

He nodded, "Of course, they mean nothing to me, they were just a tool to use against you, and finally that worked," He added with a sigh, "Because now you know, if you do one thing wrong, I will start with them again, one by one."

I shook my head, "Don't worry, I will do whatever it takes."

I have to. Yes, this also means losing them on my side, just like Alex made it very clear, but to be honest, I never for once deserved their care.

I was only born for this, to kill and destroy.

I can't play the hero role anymore, I am the villain of this story, and that's who I will always be.

*************

Natalie's POV

Something is seriously not right with Nikolas. True, there is always something off about him, but last night after he kissed me, after he said that he can't be selfish anymore, he stormed out of the house and hasn't come back yet.

That's why I called Alex this morning, I was worried sick. When it comes to Nikolas and his lifestyle, being worried every time he steps out of the house is an understatement. Alex told me he'll go and check on him, and hasn't told me if he found him or not.

The clicking sound that came from the apartment's door had me turning around so fast, hoping it's Nikolas. A long sigh of relief left my mouth and my shoulders relaxed when my eyes fell on him, "Where were you?" I asked, my voice low and expressing every worry I had.

My voice grabbed his attention and his eyes fell on mine; intertwined with the green in them was a look that had my chest aching.

Instead of answering me, he said, "You can go back to your house and get back to your office again," He announced, his tone blank, "I took care of it, there is no threat on you anymore."

His news that was supposed to relieve me only resulted in a bitter feeling wrapping around my chest. I couldn't help but feel disappointed, because going back means never seeing him again.

"How did you take care of it?" I asked, my suspicion written all over my face.

He shook his head, "It doesn't matter how," He said, "Get your things ready, I can drop you off now."

The desperation behind his tone and how fast he wanted to just get me out of here and out of his life doubled my disappointment. Feeling there is nothing left to say after he politely kicked me out, I walked to his room to change my clothes and get Massie.

I closed the door behind me and sat down by his bed's edge. My eyes traveled around the room and I felt...sad. I definitely don't like being chased down but I did like staying here and by his side, it felt like I was so close to finally understanding him, to get him to open up to me. I know I can do it, but he didn't give me enough time to get the job done.

I sighed, feeling helpless at the moment as I changed my clothes and gathered my things into my bag. Massie was fast asleep on his bed, totally comfortable. I smiled, she also liked staying here and annoying him at every chance she got. I took her into my arms and into her little box before I left his room.

He was still standing, desperately waiting to get me out of here. His gaze fell on my ready state and he immediately headed for the door, signaling me to follow him. Silently, we went down and into his car before he took off. I decided to keep silent the whole drive back to my house, for the first time feeling as if there is nothing left to say, what can I say, anyway?

Can I stay at your place for a couple more days? Can I keep seeing you or are you really leaving for good? Yes, I know you for a really short period of time but you got your way with me and I like you and would love to keep seeing you, to try and help you? Anything I'd say felt so pointless at the moment.

He kissed me last night. There is something, even as small as it is, but I know that he'll never let himself fully experience it, or even admit it.

I wanted to scoff at myself, I really thought I could help him, trying to make up for the fact that I couldn't help my brother, but maybe that's how my life is going to be, one failure after another.

The closer we got to my place, the faster my heart started beating, dreading the moment that's about to come.

When he parked the car beside my building, I didn't go down right away. I turned to him, "Are you leaving?" I asked and he nodded.

"When?"

"I just need to take care of a couple of things before I go," He said, "Two days max."

I swallowed hard, "To where?"

"London," He answered.

"Will you come back?"

He shook his head, "I shouldn't."

He didn't say I won't, no, he said he shouldn't come back and I couldn't understand why.

He placed his hand on the door's handle, silencing any other question I was about to ask as he went down. I let out a low sigh and exited the car as well. He took my things and lead my way till we reached my apartment's door.

Feeling as if his job is done, he was about to turn and walk away, but my hand shot to his arm, and I stopped him, "Uh, can you just check if there is someone in the house?" I asked, fishing for an excuse to get him to stay longer, "Like last time."

He silently nodded and walked in first, he looked around all the rooms and I let Massie free. I knew there was no one, if there is still a threat, Nikolas would've not let me get back here, I just wanted to get him inside, maybe we can talk a bit, maybe he can make me understand why he is leaving.

"There is no one," Nikolas said as he came to a stop beside me, "Don't worry, as I said, there isn't a threat on you anymore, and to be sure, I am gonna keep one of my men around, to keep an eye in case anything happens."

I shook my head, "I am not worried," I mumbled, "I am just sad that you're leaving."

My little confession was about to break through that blank look in his eyes, his throat bobbed, "I should go, now." He said, desperately needing to stay as far as possible from me.

"So, you gonna leave just like this, without much of a goodbye," I said, making him pause and meet my eyes again.

"I don't know how to do goodbyes," He said and I nodded, "I figured that out," I walked closer, "Even though you weren't the perfect patient," I said, my eyebrow raised and my tone playful, lightening the mood, "But, I think I am gonna miss you arriving late to our sessions and you driving me crazy with your very vague answers," My words almost made him smile, I noticed that half-smile that threatened to take over his lips.

"I think I am going to miss that as well," He said, showing me that deep down, this is not what he wants.

My eyebrows pulled closer, "You're not okay, Nikolas," I stated the obvious, "What happened?"

His jaw tightened, stopping himself from saying anything and my fingers reached for his arm and I gently squeezed, "Your father would've not stopped unless you gave him something in return," It wasn't that hard to guess, "What are you giving him?"

"My freedom," He said and I shook my head, "Don't then, don't give him that power over you, Nikolas."

Lines etched between his eyebrows, the pain he is trying not to feel slowly creeping over his face, "It's the only way, Natalie," He said, "It sucks that I am gonna have to lose everything over it, but if I don't, he will hurt everyone, he has enough power to do that."

The agony in his tone had my chest tightening, "I know that you think those people around you are a weakness," I shook my head, "But they're not, Nikolas, those who love you, who care about you, those are your strength, something I am sure your father doesn't have."

"It doesn't matter," He said, determined to get the job done, "I can't stand and watch him hurt everyone, including you, Natalie."

I shook my head, "You won't let him do that, you will fight him."

"I don't know how to stop him, so this is the only way," He said so helplessly.

"Don't go," I mumbled, so weakly, scared for him, he is already teetering on the edge and this...this could push him right off the cliff.

He shook his head, just showing that nothing I could say could change his mind, so I didn't say. I edged forward a fraction and tiptoed, wrapping my arms around his neck, I hugged him. I pressed my eyes shut as I buried my face into his shoulder and his body tensed at the sudden gesture.

"I have never seen someone who hates himself as much as you do," I mumbled against his shoulder, "Despite everything you did, no matter how big they are, the fact that you feel this much guilt is proof that you deserve a chance, Nikolas," My hold tightened when I felt his arm wrap around my back, holding into something, "You deserve to be happy," I whispered the truth to him and something in my chest hurt so bad, it hurt for him, "I hope one day you will find it in you to forgive yourself."

I edged backward and my hands traveled from his shoulder to his face, my pulse took off a sprint and I brushed my fingers over his cheek, feeling him for one last time. His eyes stared so deep into mine and in them I saw every doubt, every fear, and every wish he hopes could come true. I saw in his eyes someone who is just so tired, who thinks that giving up is the only way. Someone who is so scared, terrified even, of losing everything.

"I wish I met you in a different time," He said over a low whisper, "You have something about you that makes my insides calm down a little," His words were so heartfelt, he was telling me what he really feels for the very first time.

I shrugged, "Who knows, maybe in a different lifetime, you and I would've been a really really hot couple."

Through all the pain, he smiled and I smiled in return, "You have a really beautiful smile," I told him, my fingers moved and brushed over the side of his mouth and I felt a lump rising in my throat, "Life is so unfair, so cruel to take it from you."

I didn't wait for him to say anything back, I didn't want him to leave before this so I edged my face closer, closing the gap between us, and pressed my lips to his, my movement slow as I kissed him, savoring the moment. His hand moved up my back, leaving shivers all over my skin before it reached the back of my neck, angeling my face so he could deepen the kiss, both of us melting into the other.

My arms wrapped around his neck, and I made sure I don't touch a place he doesn't want me to touch. I tightened my hold as our lips moved in sync, fighting a battle, we both are going to lose.

We broke the kiss only to suck in the oxygen our lungs needed. He rested his forehead over mine, he wasn't ready to break away just yet, "I am scared, Natalie," The weakness that reflected off his voice had me opening my eyes and he brokenly added, "I am scared to lose the part of me that makes me feel human."

I shook my head, "Don't," I mumbled, my throat aching and tears prickled my eyes, "Please don't lose that part of you," It's your only chance at a shot of happiness, "Fight for it, Nikolas."

He shook his head, his eyes still closed, "I am just so tired," He mumbled, and my heart broke when I saw that lone tear escaping the corner of his eye, "I don't want to fight anymore."

*************************************

Can you blame him when he really doesn't have it in himself to fight anymore...

If you were in his place, would you leave and be sure no one is gonna get hurt that way or would you take the risk and stay and fight?

So, what do you think will happen next? Will he be able to do everything Isaac asks him to? Would he hurt just anyone to keep his loved ones safe? Would he be able to let go of the part of him that is still human? Would he get used to a life that doesn't have Alex in it (I know I won't be able to xD) ?

I feel like I ignored this book for some time, I will try to keep updating, at least a chapter every week!

Love ya all!