Natalie's POV

"I got you a gift!" I said, ever so cheerfully as I pushed the cutely wrapped box forward.

Nikolas's eyebrows pulled closer as he stared at my extended hands, "It's not my birthday."

I let out a dramatic sigh, tilting my head, "Yes, Nikolas. I know when your birthday is," I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and pushed the box further forward, "Take it!"

He grabbed the box, his fingers hesitantly wrapped over its edges, as if scared it might combust all of a sudden. He rested it on his lap, staring at it with a confused gaze, still trying to guess the occasion. He lifted his eyes up, "It's not our anniversary either," He stated again and I rolled my eyes, losing all of my patience; why can't he just open the damned box!

"I know that! Just open the damn box," I grumbled out loudly, having enough of him.

"Jesus, okay," He mumbled, not satisfied with my mini outburst. He started to unwrap it before he paused and looked at me, his eyebrows pulling closer, "Wait, is this one of your weird our-first-kiss anniversary or first-time-we-had-sex anniver—"

"Nikolas!" I shot out loudly, my face heating up as I lunged forward to snatch the box out of his hands, "God, you're impossible," I tore the wrapping paper and then all but shoved the box back into his lap, "Open it," I grated out, ready to smack him in the face with it.

His eyes widened and he regarded me with a wary look, a bit scared before he opened the box. FINALLY. "You're extra aggressive today," He mumbled under his breath as he pulled the baby shoe out of the box, "Also, you could've at least bought it my size—"

He paused in his words, his eyes widening in realization before they shot up to me, a hundred different emotions and one single question reflecting off his shocked breathless gaze. I smiled and I felt like crying but also like throwing up, all at once.

"Natalie," he rasped, his voice barely above a whisper, "Are you—"

I nodded my head too many times, and a few happy tears scrolled down, beyond my control by now, "I am pregnant," I murmured, the fact too surreal for me to grasp at on my own.

Nikolas stared at me in shock, trying to absorb my few little words, sucking them in, one at a time. My lips twitched, "Aren't you gonna hug me, you stupid man," I mumbled in between my tears, feeling like I was about to break down any second now. Damn, these hormones don't kid, do they...

The shoe fell from his grip and he got up to his feet, stealing my breath as he pulled my body into his, so tightly, so closely, wrapping all of me between his big strong arms. My eyelids fell down and I buried myself deeper into his embrace, sinking into his safe arms. I clung to him as he clung back to me, still in denial, unable to understand this crazy news.

"I can't believe this," he murmured into my hair, his voice breaking.

If possible, more tears rushed to my eyes and fell through till I was a sobbing mess in his arms. He edged backward, bringing his hands to cup my face and tilt it up so he could see me. Lines tightened between his brows at my never-ending tears, he tried to wipe them away, "Natalie," he whispered.

I smiled through my tears, sniffling lowly, "You're going to be a dad," I said softly, bringing my hand up and resting it above his.

His breath hitched, and he closed his eyes for a moment as if committing the words to memory. When he opened them again, the rims were red, he was flailing too, unable to stay in control, "And you're going to be a mom," he whispered back.

"Why can't I stop crying," I murmured, pressing my eyes shut, hoping the tears would stop from spilling but they didn't...

Nikolas kept brushing my cheeks, wiping them away every time they fell, "Natalie," He called for me, urging me to pry them open and look at him, to face this heartwrenching beautiful wonderous news.

"Yeah," I mumbled, grasping at his hands, needing him to give me some power.

The corner of his lips lifted up, granting my favorite smile ever, the one I see almost every day yet still can't get enough of, something about it was magical, and just so damn heartbreaking, "You keep giving me everything I thought I'd never have," He whispered, ruining my poor hormonal heart.

I pressed my hands to my cheeks, trying in vain to dam the never-ending waterfalls, sniffling pathetically, "You keep saying that," I muttered, my lips curling into an unintentional pout.

Nikolas's thumb brushed over my bottom lip, his touch so tender it was nearly my undoing. His gaze grew impossibly warmer, his glassy eyes shimmering like dew-kissed grass at the first rain after dawn, "Because it's the truth," he murmured. "Ever since I found you, I feel like I'm living a dream."

"Yeah, perks of marrying me," I mumbled, my attempt at humor falling somewhere between a sob and a laugh. "Lucky you."

He chuckled lowly, the sound squeezing my heart even tighter, he brushed the corner of my mouth, "So damn lucky," He reaffirmed.

For a moment, the overwhelming emotions settled, and a dreamy realization dawned on me. "We're going to have a small baby," I whispered, the words tasting foreign yet beautiful as I tried to imagine the next years of our lives.

Nikolas nodded, his smile soft and breathless as he watched me process.

Then it hit me. Hard.

"A baby," I repeated, my smile slowly falling down and my eyebrows drawing together, "Oh my god, are we even equipped to have a baby?"

Nikolas blinked, his smile faltering just slightly. "Natalie, what—"

And just like that, my emotional breakdown flipped into a full-on panic episode, "Holy hell," I cut him off, my eyes widening as my brain launched into overdrive, "Where will the baby sleep? We'll have to clear out a room—or maybe we need to buy a new house! And your car," I gasped, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "Your sporty little death traps? We'll need something...family-sized to fit a baby seat. Oh my god..."

"Natalie—"

I was sweating, I could feel it drip down my back, my breathing becoming heavier, "And what about work?" I continued, my voice climbing higher with every word. "Who's going to watch the baby when we're at work? Daycare? What if they lose the baby?" My eyes widened, "Oh my god, what if—what if someone you knew from before, from your old stupid mafia life...comes after our baby?"

Nikolas looked utterly baffled, his mouth opening and closing like he was trying to find the right moment to cut in but I wouldn't let him.

"Jesus Christ, what if we have twins?" I gasped, clutching my chest like I'd just been struck.

"Twins?" he echoed.

"Yes, twins!" I practically shrieked, "They run in my family. Holy crap, Nikolas, I can barely handle the idea of one baby, let alone two. I'm just one person. I can't take care of two little helpless babies."

I pressed my palm to my forehead, now fully spiraling, "And babies...Nikolas, they're terrifying. They cry all the time. They can't talk. They just eat and scream and poop, and their heads—oh my god, their heads are so soft! What if one falls off the bed while I'm looking after the other? What if—"

"Natalie," Nikolas tried to reach out for me through the chaos I was burying myself in, his hands gripping my arms firmly but gently.

Air, I need air, "I know I look so friendly and warm and all that shit, and I seem to be so good around Lilly and Wyatt and all, but kids...they scare me," I can't breathe, "Oh my god, why did we do this, we should've waited, it's all your fault, all your damn fault—"

The rest of my words evaporated into a gasp as he pulled me from my arm to him, one he muffled quickly as he slammed his lips into mine. The kiss wasn't soft or sweet—it was commanding, unapologetic, and completely silencing. My panic collided with the kiss, all the frenzied thoughts evaporating like steam.

One of his hands slid up to cradle the back of my neck, attempting to pull me even closer, brand me so close to his skin and blood. The warmth of him, the sheer strength of his presence, blanketed my panic like a sudden downpour extinguishing a wildfire. My thoughts, frantic and spiraling, collided with the raw intensity of this sensation and scattered into nothingness, leaving only the electric connection I shared with this crazy man.

His thumb brushed against my jaw, tender in contrast to the fervor of his kiss as if anchoring me to the here and now. I melted into him, my fingers clutching at his shirt, sighing softly into his mouth, needing something solid to hold onto while the world around me tilted.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against mine, our breaths mingling in the charged air between us. My lips tingled, swollen, and warm from his, and my chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath, my heart still racing—but for a completely different reason now.

His eyes, impossibly soft yet brimming with intensity, searched mine. "Better?" he murmured.

I nodded dumbly, my brain still catching up.

"Natalie," he said softly, his voice steady, his fingers brushing the apple of my cheek, "We're going to figure it all out. One thing at a time, okay?"

I sniffled, nodding again, my breaths uneven but slower now, steadier.

His lips curved into that lopsided smile I loved so much, and his thumb stroked my cheek as if to etch the moment into my heart, "I'm here, right here. Every step of the way, every sleepless night, and every diaper disaster—we're in this together," Then his hand moved, brushing a stray strand of hair behind my ear with a gentleness that made my chest ache, "You're not alone, Natalie."

And just like that, my shoulders sagged, the tight coil of anxiety unraveling.

"And if we have twins, don't worry. We'll just throw one at Ronald," He added.

I chuckled lowly and he smiled at the sound, "He can prove to be somewhat useful," He added, his eyebrow raising playfully.

I nodded my head, my hands moved up his chest, my arms wrapping around his neck, "You're impossible," I mumbled.

"And you're incredible," he whispered, so wholeheartedly, pulling me close once more for another short sweet kiss.

──── ౨ৎ ─────

Seven Months Later...

Nikolas's POV

"What's wrong?" I asked in a panic, practically skidding to a halt as I rushed to her side. Natalie stood in the hallway, her eyes red, her cheeks glistening with unstoppable tears. My heart thudded against my ribs at the sight of her unraveling before me.

She hiccupped, her shoulders shaking with sobs. "Everything!" she wailed, and her cries only grew louder, echoing off the walls.

My mind raced. Everything?

"The...the baby?" I asked cautiously, my heart skipping a beat, my throat tightening as a flicker of fear gripped me.

She turned to glare at me through her tears and shook her head, "No, stupid, the baby is fine," She said, her voice trembling as she wiped her cheeks and nose with the back of her hand, pouting as she looked down, "My shoes..." And her cries got loud again, bouncing off the walls as she let out a soul-shattering sob. What the hell is happening?

"I can't tie my shoe," She added while crying, another sob erupting from her lips, her hands flying up in frustration, "I am too big, I can't bend down anymore," She buried her face in her hand, "My shoes..." The fuck, "Uh, it's okay," I crouched down by her side, "That's what I am here for," I said carefully as I tied her shoelaces.

She sniffled loudly, peeking down at me with wide, watery eyes, red cheeks, and pouty lips, "You're my hero," She said, ever so seriously as she carressed my hair.

"Anytime," I said as I got up to my feet when I was done, offering her a small reassuring smile.

Sliding my arm around her waist, I gently pulled her close, keeping her steady. She looked like she might tip over any second. "Come on, let's go," I coaxed, taking a step toward the door.

But Natalie's fingers gripped my sleeve, tugging me back. I turned to her, puzzled. Her lower lip wobbled, her eyes already glassy again.

"I don't want to go," she announced, her voice so low, barely above a whisper.

I frowned. "What? But, baby, we should go—"

She shook her head, her hair flying around her, "No, I don't want to," She pushed herself away from me, raising her shoulders up like a kid.

"Natalie," I said, one word at a time, "It's your birthday, you asked for everyone to gather and have a nice dinner outside, remember," I pointed out that this outing was her idea.

"I changed my mind," she mumbled.

"Why?"

She looked down at herself, "I look so ugly," She murmured, her tears returning back and my eyes widened, feeling another sob session coming my way. I moved closer, my hand cupping her face, "How could you say that," I said, "You're more beautiful than ever."

She shook her head vehemently, her cheeks puffing out as tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, "No, I look like a..." She paused, staring down at her green dress, it was so cute actually, "A big, green pumpkin, why did I even pick this dress," Her voice cracked as she gestured dramatically to herself.

"And my feet are huge," She sniffled, "Look at them!" she wailed, sticking one foot out for emphasis.

"They look exactly the same as yesterday," I said gently.

She gasped, "Are you saying my feet were huge yesterday too?"

"What? No! That's not what I—"

"And my cheeks!" she interrupted, pressing her palms to her face, "Look how big they are!" She squished them for emphasis, her voice rising with every word, "I look like a chipmunk storing food for winter."

"Natalie—"

"No," She stepped back, pointing an accusatory finger at me, her tears falling freely now. "Don't you Natalie me. This is your fault. God, if you didn't...didn't...look at me the way you did that night, we wouldn't be here right now."

I blinked, utterly dumbfounded. "The way I looked at you?"

"Yes!" she shouted. "If you hadn't been so...so stupidly irresistible and handsome," She gestured at me from head to toe, "I wouldn't be pregnant, and my feet wouldn't be enormous, and I wouldn't look like this," She gestured wildly to her very pregnant self, tears streaming down her cheeks, "And now you don't even love me anymore."

I stared at her, completely floored. "Natalie, that's not—"

She cut me off with a dramatic wail, throwing her hands in the air, "Don't lie to me, I know that you think I'm hideous."

You'd think I've gotten used to this after seven months, but no, she keeps getting more creative as more time passes...

I edged closer to her, careful with every step, literally walking on eggshells around her, any word, any breath could trigger her more.

"How can you think like that," I said, my hand reaching for her beautiful face, "You're the most beautiful woman in my eyes, and if it's possible, you've only become more beautiful with this pregnancy," I was only telling the truth, "I can't begin to imagine how hard this must be on you, how tiring it is, but so little is left, and you are making our little miracle in there," I added as my other hand rested tenderly on her bump.

"And Natalie, I want to help in every way I can, believe me, I've read every book out there about pregnancy," I said, because I had no clue what was awaiting me, I had to prepare, but I swear to god nothing would've prepared me for this, "So, just tell me what can I do to make it better, I'd do anything to make this easier on you."

She listened to my words. She sniffled, her lips quivering, but her eyes stayed locked on mine, "You're so annoying, do you know that?" She mumbled.

Okay, see, no book could prepare me for this...

I blinked, thrown off balance, "I am?" I asked, my eyebrows pulled closer.

She nodded her head, exasperation blooming on her tear-streaked face, "Yeah, you're so supportive, it's infuriating, that you keep going on with my silly stupid outbursts, you handle all of my screams and cries, you let me punch and hit you and you never complain," She said, frustrated, "It's so annoying, why don't you shout back at me, tell me to suck it up and stop being so hormonal, why do you justify every stupid word I say, why are you like this, why are you so nice and...ugh, it's so annoying!"

She spun on her heel and marched toward the bedroom, muttering under her breath about how utterly insufferable I was. I stood frozen, watching her retreating figure as the bedroom door slammed shut. Speechless. Completely and utterly speechless.

I tried to recover and rushed a hand over my face before I pulled my phone out, I dialed Ronald, asking him to cancel our reservations and inform the rest of the guests. I walked to the living room, utterly exhausted as I fell to the couch before I dialed Alex.

"Hello," he answered.

"Alex, I need your help," I said, finally giving up and asking for his help after a very long seven months.

"Yeah, of course, you do, why else would you call me," He grumbled out.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Look, I've had enough whining and complaining for one lifetime, so shut up and listen," I grated out, the patience I have with Natalie wearing thin when tested against the rest of the human population.

He chuckled lowly, "Let me guess," he said, ever so amused, "Natalie giving you a hard time?"

I glanced toward the bedroom door, where muffled noises of drawers opening and closing reached me. "You have no idea," I muttered.

His chuckle deepened. "Hold on," he said. "We need backup for this. Give me a second."

A beep sounded, and a new voice joined the call.

"Hello?" Roman's voice filtered through.

"Roman, hey," Alex said, "Nik is here too," He informed, "Now, since you handled the worst-case scenarios with your crazy wife when she was pregnant, we need your expert advice, Nikolas is so close to jumping off the roof."

Roman chuckled lowly, enjoying my misery too. I rolled my eyes, "I hate you both," I grumbled into the phone.

"Okay, here is my advice," Roman said, "Just suck it up and try to power through; alcohol and coffee are your only friends in these nine months, so, just accept your fate," He added, "You might get hit, blamed, bitten, even sent to the hospital, it's all plausible, and you need to understand that there isn't anything you can do, you can't control this, so...good luck," He said.

"Wow, thanks, that was so helpful," I grumbled.

"Yeah, and hey don't think it ends after those nine months," He scoffed, "it doesn't, you are in for a wild adventure, brother-in-law," He added mockingly, "So, suffer, you deserve it."

"You're so lucky Emma loves you," I said, rubbing my temples and trying to fantasize about getting this frustration out by punching him.

"Woah, I am so thankful for my cupcakes, she was an angel," Alex commented as he listened to our misery, "Poor you two."

A loud shattering sound came from Roman's side before Wyatt's loud wailing sound echoed, "Oh, shit," He grumbled, "I need to go."

"What happened?" Alex asked.

"Wyatt fell off the couch, again," He grumbled, and the kid's cries got louder, "And somehow Emma will make this my fault, so bye," He said as he hung up.

"So," Alex said to me, "There is no escape, my dear brother," he added, "Embrace the chaos."

"I really miss killing people," I mumbled lowly, nostalgia for the old days hitting me hard. There was so much frustration within me I wasn't sure how to let it out.

"Shut up and go to your wife," Alex said, his voice ever so amused and happy.

I hung up and looked around me, not sure of what more to do. I tried to help and I ended up getting shouted at and punched and scolded...so what else must I fucking do?

──── ౨ৎ ─────

I took a deep breath, gathering every ounce of patience and willpower I had left, before knocking on our bedroom door.

"Come in," Natalie's soft, fragile voice filtered through. I let out a breath of relief and twisted the knob, stepping in carefully with the small cake in one hand, the candles casting a soft, warm glow.

Her eyes immediately flicked to me, and then to the cake. The flickering flames reflected in her blue eyes, making them look impossibly bright. I approached slowly, placing the cake on the bedside table. A small smile curved my lips as her gaze shifted from the cake to me, her expression a mix of apology and tenderness that tugged at my heart.

"Happy birthday," I murmured softly.

Her lips trembled before curling into the faintest of smiles. She straightened herself in bed, tucking her legs beneath the blanket, her attention returning to the cake. Her smile widened as she read the candles—her new age prominently displayed—but then her brows knitted as her eyes landed on the small number seven candle placed off to the side.

"What's that supposed to be?" she asked, pointing at the tiny addition.

I moved closer, resting a hand lightly over her baby bump. "That's for this little one," I said.

She laughed—a soft, airy sound that instantly warmed the room. God, I'd missed her laugh. It was rare these days, buried beneath waves of hormones and tears, but hearing it now felt like a victory.

Leaning closer to the cake, she tilted her head, her expression suddenly childlike and full of giddiness. She blew out the candles with an exaggerated puff, clapping her hands lightly as the flames disappeared.

She looked at me, "You got me a cake," She whispered, more of an acknowledgment and not a question.

I nodded, "It's your favorite," I commented, "Fruits and white chocolate."

Her eyes misted over as she nodded, clearly touched. Then, with a completely serious tone, she asked, "Can I have a big, big piece? Like, the biggest?"

I chuckled at her rare enthusiasm and sudden burst of energy, "You can have the whole thing if you want," I said.

She glanced down at her bump, her hand gently caressing the side as if conspiring with it. "Oh, I'm not the one asking for it," she replied with mock seriousness, her brow arching playfully. "He wants it. I'm just the innocent vessel here."

My grin widened as I picked up the knife, carving out the biggest slice of cake I could manage without it collapsing into crumbs. "Well, we better not keep him waiting then."

"And don't skimp on the frosting," she called, already scooping up the tiniest leftover smear from the edge of the platter with her finger.

She took the slice from me, her face instantly lighting up. Color rushed back into her cheeks as she stabbed the cake with her fork, diving into her sweet treat. Her first bite was followed by a muffled, "Oh my god, this is so good," her words slightly garbled by the mouthful of cake.

I smiled wholeheartedly, watching her savor the moment. "Glad you like it."

She gave me a sheepish smile. "Thank you. I forgive you for not getting me a present."

My eyebrow raised, "Who said I didn't," I questioned as I pulled the small little box from my pocket.

Her eyes widened in disbelief, her fork pausing mid-air. "Nikolas..." she started, guilt creeping into her voice. "You weren't supposed to—"

She'd spent weeks ordering me not to get her anything, but I knew better than to listen. Also, it was a very small thing. She abandoned her plate, swallowing her last bite hurriedly, licking the frosting from her lips before taking the box from my hand. Her fingers shook slightly as she opened it, revealing the tiny silver charm nestled inside.

Her breath hitched. It was simple actually—a heart-shaped charm with tiny baby feet etched into the center. On one side, the name she'd been quietly dreaming of for weeks was engraved in delicate script. She brushed her fingertips over the letters, her eyes glistening as she turned to me.

"You...you want this name too?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, as though she couldn't believe it.

I won't lie, I have doubted it, a lot. Scared, maybe, I don't know. To call my son by his name, it felt like a reminder of a past I was trying so desperately to escape. The memory of him is still etched in my head, and his scared voice on the phone still echoes in my head every time I am left alone. I was terrified but also, in a way, it felt right, to keep his memory alive like this...

So, I just nodded.

Tears spilled freely down her cheeks as she gazed at the charm, cradling it as though it were the most fragile thing in the world. Without a word, she extended her wrist to me, offering the bracelet she never took off. I fastened the charm onto it carefully, my fingers steady despite the lump tightening in my throat

And then, without warning, she surged forward, throwing her arms around my neck and pulling me into a tight embrace. Her tears soaked into my shoulder as she whispered brokenly, "I'm so sorry," She murmured, "For everything. For being so unreasonable all the time."

I cradled her against me, my hand threading gently through her hair. "Natalie, you don't have to apologize," I murmured, my voice low and I breathed her in, "You have every right to be unreasonable."

She sniffled against me, her grip tightening. "I don't deserve you," she muttered, her words muffled by my neck.

"It's the other way around, baby," I whispered back, the only truth I was sure of.

She sniffled lowly, pulling back just enough to look at me. Her face was blotchy from crying, crumbs still lingering at the corner of her lips. And yet, in that moment, she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

A faint smile tugged at my lips as I reached out, gently brushing away the crumbs with my thumb before kissing her temple. "Also," I murmured, "I have one more little thing for you."

Her brows furrowed slightly, confusion flickering in her tear-soaked gaze, "Another?"

I nodded toward the sketchbook sitting on the bedside table, the one she'd bought for me, always pestering me to draw in it on every occasion. Her eyes lit up like a child spotting a wrapped present under the tree. Without hesitation, she reached for it and flipped open the cover.

When she reached the last painted page, she froze. Her breath hitched audibly, and I watched as her lips parted in silent awe.

It wasn't much, just a simple picture, an image of a near future; of her, me, and that bundle of joy we're waiting for.

Natalie's fingers ghosted over the paper, tracing the outlines as if she could feel the moment come to life beneath her touch. She sucked in a stuttering breath, her eyes shimmering like morning dew. When she looked up at me, her lips curled into a smile so fragile and tender, it nearly shattered me.

"I love you," she whispered, her voice as delicate as the brushstrokes on the page.

I smiled back, edging closer and keeping her closer, "I love you more, my beautiful girl."

She let out a low satisfied sigh, the sound wrapping around my heart like a warm embrace. She leaned into me, resting her head against my chest, her body soft and pliant in my arms. "I promise I won't push you out of bed in my sleep tonight," she whispered, the corners of her lips twitching into a playful grin.

God, what would've I done without her? I tightened my arm around her. "Nah, it's okay. I've gotten used to sleeping on the edge."

She tilted her head back just slightly, her brow quirking as her grin widened. Without a word, she leaned in and planted a quick, feather-light kiss on my cheek. My heart stuttered, but before I could react, her gaze shifted, and her attention was drawn downward.

"Oh," she mumbled, her smile faltering briefly as her hand instinctively moved to her bump. The sudden change in her expression made me freeze, but then her face lit up like a sunrise, soft and radiant.

She grabbed my hand, her fingers wrapping around mine, and guided it to her stomach. "Feel that?" she whispered, her eyes shining with wonder.

I sucked into a deep breath as I felt it—a faint, rhythmic movement beneath my palm, almost like a knock from inside. That little kick. Him. Our little boy.

That foreign, painfully beautiful feeling swelled in my chest, so much it hurt. He wasn't just an idea anymore, a future possibility. He was real. My little boy. Mine. Mine to keep. To protect. To love fiercely and endlessly. To give him the best life I could ever afford.

"So, it's...Nathan," Natalie whispered, her gaze focused on our hands above her bump.

I stared at our hands too, trying to silence the echoes of fear that whispered in the back of my mind. Could I really do this? Could I give him the life he deserved? The name itself carried so much weight, so many memories. But as I sat there, feeling him kick against my hand, those doubts began to slowly fade.

"Yeah," I whispered back, my voice barely audible. "Nathan."

──── ౨ৎ ─────

Five months later...

Natalie's POV

Remember when I first found out I was pregnant? The panic, the spiraling, the full-blown meltdown every time I thought about bringing a tiny human into this world? I genuinely thought I was overreacting. Surely, it couldn't be that hard, right? Famous last words.

Let me tell you something: babies are no walk in the park. They're more like an obstacle course designed to test your patience, sanity, and ability to function on zero sleep.

I miss sleeping. No, not just sleeping—I miss good sleep. The kind where you don't wake up at the slightest rustle or the sound of a sneeze from the other room.

I miss smelling like anything other than milk, vomit, or...poop. Oh, and don't get me started on the spit-up. My laundry has turned into a museum exhibit of various bodily fluids.

I miss wearing my nice outfits. You know, the ones I actually had to plan before putting on? Now it's mostly whatever's closest and still vaguely clean.

I miss going outside. I miss the sunshine, I miss the fresh air, I miss not feeling like I'm a hostage to the nursery.

But, and here's the kicker, I wouldn't trade this life for anything. My baby is the most perfect, the most adorable, the most amazing little creature in the world. And if anyone dares say otherwise, I will fight them. I will scratch their eyeballs out. My baby was perfect.

I was dreaming, happy in my dream, Nathan was not crying, he was smiling and happy and all was right in the world, till...

I woke up, startled, like I felt something was missing, my heart strangely pounding in my chest. My mind raced as I blinked into the darkness of the room, disoriented for a moment. I reached out instinctively, but the space next to me was empty. Cold.

No.

My pulse quickened. Where's Nathan?

Panic surged through me, flooding my senses. I shot up in bed, my legs tangled in the blankets as I scrambled to my feet. I didn't care about the mess or the fact that I probably looked like I had been run over by a truck—my baby wasn't next to me.

I rushed to the crib. Empty.

"Nathan?" My voice was shaky, higher-pitched than usual, and there was a slight tremor in my hands as I grabbed the side of the crib. My heart was racing now, my chest tight. I glanced around the room again, looking for any sign of him.

He was nowhere.

Oh my god, where is he?!

My mind ran wild, a thousand thoughts rushing through me—did something happen? Did he fall out of the crib? Did I forget him somewhere? I stormed out of the room, my feet thumping heavily down the hallway.

I couldn't breathe.

I got to his room, and—thank god—there was a soft light coming from beneath the door. I threw it open without thinking.

And there they were.

Nikolas was sitting in the rocking chair in Nathan's room, eyes closed, his arms carefully cradling our little son against his chest. Our boy was nestled in his arms, fast asleep, even snoring softly. Nikolas had fallen asleep too, his head drooping slightly, his posture slumped in exhaustion.

My heart slammed against my chest, and for a second, I just stood there, staring at them, completely overwhelmed.

I took in a shaky breath, my chest tightening in both relief and tenderness. Quietly, I stepped forward, my bare feet making no sound on the floor as I approached them. I bent down slowly, my fingers grazing over Nathan's soft, delicate face, brushing a strand of hair away from his forehead. I smiled softly. God, how is he even real? He was so perfect. My perfect little boy.

Nikolas, ever the light sleeper, stirred at my closeness. His eyelids fluttered open, his gaze falling on me with that sleepy, dazed look I loved. He blinked a few times, clearly still fighting the pull of sleep. Without thinking, I reached up and brushed his hair with my fingertips, smiling softly at him.

"If you two didn't look so cute right now," I said, voice low and teasing, "I was going to bash your head into the wall," I emphasized my threat with a grin, hoping it didn't sound as ridiculous as I felt.

Nikolas's eyebrows pulled together in confusion, but his gaze flickered to Nathan, ensuring he was still asleep before looking back at me. He gave a small, amused shake of his head. "Why?" he asked, still half asleep.

"You know how scared I get when I don't find him beside me," I admitted softly, my voice cracking just a little. "I thought I...I thought I forgot him somewhere." I winced at how ridiculous that sounded, trying to keep my voice steady, but my heart was still racing.

Nikolas's lips twitched, a grin threatening to spread across his face. "Forgot him where?" he asked, unable to hide the amusement in his voice.

I shrugged helplessly, still not fully trusting my own mind. "I don't know...I barely sleep these days," I murmured, my words muffled by the overwhelming exhaustion that made everything feel blurry.

Nikolas nodded knowingly, his lips curling into a soft smile, "Yeah, which is why when he woke up, I took him out before you could wake up," he said, being stupid considerate him that I loved ever so crazily.

I leaned closer and pecked his cheek, brushing the side of his head, "So, do you plan on staying like this?" I asked.

He sighed, his gaze flickering to Nathan as though the mere thought of disturbing him would break his heart. "I'm scared if I get up, he'll wake up," he said softly.

And just as if on cue, as if he understood us or something, Nathan stirred in his father's arms, his little body stretching out like a tiny cat. His arms shot above his head, his little fingers wiggling as his eyes blinked open, still sleepy and dazed, struggling to make sense of the world around him. And then, inevitably, the frown started to form, the tiny furrow between his brows signaling he was about to go full-on meltdown mode.

Nikolas let out a loud sigh, "Well, good morning," he said, not very amused.

I collapsed dramatically, my forehead crashing into Nikolas's arm, letting out a high-pitched, fake cry, "It's still four in the morning," I groaned, knowing full well that my morning had just started. "Why is it always so early?" I complained, the weight of the day already pulling me down.

"Welcome to parenthood," Nikolas mumbled, ever so sarcastically. I punched his arm for being so supportive.

I sucked into a deep breath, ready to power through, "I'll change his diaper," I grumbled as I took Nathan into my arms, "You make our coffee. Black. Strong. And be quick or I'll pass out."

Nikolas was more than delighted that I got diaper duty and he got the easy task. He handed me Nathan ever so fast before he went away. My little boy, who'd been fussing just moments earlier, was now giggling at the sight of my face, his tiny legs wiggling happily as I gently moved them around, stretching him. His soft, low laugh—oh, it melted me.

Once we were done, I scooped him up and walked downstairs, the scent of freshly brewed coffee drawing me in like a magnet. I practically collapsed onto the couch, exhausted, and Nikolas handed me my cup. He flopped down beside me, the weight of these past months heavy on both of us.

"Can we please make Ronald babysit and go out?" I pleaded, my voice a mix of desperation and longing. A quiet, adult night sounded like heaven.

Nikolas shook his head before I even finished my sentence, "No," he declined, never trusting anyone with our baby, especially Ronald.

"Come on," I whined, cradling Nathan against me with a helpless, pleading look. "Ronald is so good with him. He'll take good care of him, I swear."

He shook his head, totally refusing the idea, "I'd rather leave him with the cats and not with your brother," He grumbled out.

On cue, Nachos jumped up the couch and settled in Nikolas's lap, his favorite place ever.

I glared at the cat, my eyes narrowing. I could swear he glared back at me, his green eyes flashing in defiance. I mean, what did I ever do to him? I love cats, I really do, but Nachos—well, he was different. If Nikolas had been reincarnated as a cat, it would have been this one. Moody, grumpy, and absolutely in love with his owner.

Every time I tried to pet him, he'd scratch me, and yet when Nikolas had him in his lap, it was like I was invisible. The furball never even thought about scratching him. It was like he had some secret cat loyalty pact with my husband, and I was just the unfortunate third wheel.

"I swear, he's plotting against me," I muttered, crossing my arms and giving the cat one last, accusing glare. Nachos didn't even blink, just curled tighter into Nikolas, looking at me like, This is my spot. Deal with it.

I hate you. I whispered to him.

And what did he do? He turned around, making sure his little furry butt was perfectly positioned in front of me, before snuggling back into Nikolas's lap like he owned the place.

Of course, I wasn't about to let this go. My gaze shifted from the demon cat to Nikolas, who was casually watching me like I'd grown a second head. I rolled my eyes dramatically, the wheels turning. "We're making Ronald babysit, and you're taking me to a nice restaurant. End of discussion."

More often than not I get my way around in this house, and this won't be any different. I'll make him accept.

"No."

"We'll see."

Nikolas rolled his eyes, sipping on his coffee as he echoed the same, "We'll see."

I sipped on my heavenly drink, Nathan calmly sitting in my lap, discovering his little fingers like they were the most interesting thing in the world. Watching him, a sudden warmth spread through me, and the weight of the moment settled in my chest. A smile tugged at my lips without warning.

Nikolas caught it immediately, his brows furrowing slightly. "What?" he asked.

I set my cup down carefully and turned to face him, my gaze drifting from Nathan's peaceful face to him, "I was just wondering," I said, my voice soft with a quiet fondness, "If I told the grumpy, dangerous man who once walked into my office..." I trailed off, letting the memory of that first encounter linger between us. "If I told him that one day we'd be sitting here, sipping coffee at four in the morning, with an orange cat in his lap, and our son in mine, and drool all over his shirt—" I glanced at Nikolas's shoulder, where Nathan had graciously decided to leave a mark of affection. "Would he believe me?"

Nikolas shifted his gaze to his shirt, his face twisting in a mix of disbelief and distaste at the drool spot, but it only made the moment more real. His eyes met mine then, softer than I had ever seen them, and despite the rugged edge of his usual demeanor, a smile broke free, "He wouldn't," he admitted.

"Too bad for him," I said, my smile widening. "He has no idea what he's missing."

His expression softened even further as he gently shooed Nachos from his lap and stood up. He moved toward us, bending down to kiss my temple. "Yeah," he whispered, his lips brushing my skin with such tenderness, "He has no idea how lucky he's gonna get."

Before I could say anything else, he pressed another kiss—this one to Nathan's tiny, soft head, his thumb brushing against the baby's cheek as though he were afraid to disturb his fragile peace.

At that moment, I felt an overwhelming calm, a sense of peace that enveloped me completely. This was my family. These were my people. And despite how chaotic and messy things might get, I was exactly where I was meant to be.

One way or another, I was getting that night out, and Ronald would be babysitting. It was just a matter of time.

But for now, I let the warmth of the moment settle around me like a blanket, savoring the temporary peace.

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It's Christmas season and I am just so generous with updates and bonus chapters xD

I hope you liked it ;)
Bye for now