11 Days Until...

Josh

I can't wait to go back home to my friends and people who I know won't betray me like Brooke did. Yeah, there will be memories of Ariel and her mom, but it's better than this feeling right now. Am I just not enough for anyone in my life? My dad left me, Ariel left me, Ariel's mom left involuntarily, and Brooke is choosing to leave me now. I just feel like I'm nothing to anyone anymore. Like nothing I do or say even matters. I'm hoping this visit with friends will change that though. If it doesn't, I'll just have to make some new friends at school. I most likely won't though, just because they are all jerks. "Josh, are you all packed up?" My mom calls up to me. "Yeah, I am." I yell back down, pulling the suitcase off my bed. She still doesn't know what Brooke did or that anything happened. My friends know, and they are all sorts of ready to cheer me up as soon as I get there.

A few hours drive later we arrive at my hometown. We pull into the driveway of my best friend Tony's house. His family and mine are all really good friends so they're cool with me being here for a week and a half. My mom is going back home after she drops me off because of work, but I've got a while to chill with all of them before she goes. And that is amazing because when we are all together tons of funny shit happens. I was going to invite Brooke along with me, but that didn't work out. I wish she would have just told me that she didn't feel the same way. Then I could have at least had something to work towards. But no. She had to go and crush my heart. "Josh bro!" Tony yells obnoxiously at me. "Hey dude, what's up?" I say rolling my eyes at him. "Your dick's up. Thinking 'bout something huh?"

"Dude. I don't even have a boner. I wasn't thinking about that shit that goes on in your mind 24/7 and I would prefer not to."

"Jeez, when did you become such a buzzkill? Did you go to like Europe or something? Cuz like, man, you gone completely cray cray."

"Tony, did you become a white girl while I was gone? Because you sound like one." He does though! It's weird... "Nah dude, just been spending way too much time around my girl. Ya know that chick Natalia that switched here last year?"

"The super hot one?" You have no clue. She's got long black hair down to her perfect ass. She is curvy as all get out and her voice has the tiniest accent it's adorable. "Yeah, her. Well, we had a project to do and her and I got all close and all that shit and now we a thang. How are things faring on your end with the chicks?"

"Well, I got cheated on. I thought the guys would have told you that." I'm honestly surprised. Tony doesn't have a phone because he broke so many his parents just gave up so I thought the guys would tell him. But apparently not. "Oh man dude I'm sorry that has really gotta suck." He hugs me and I hug him back because... I don't know. It's Tony and his weirdness is infectious. "Ready to go back to the crazy people Josh? As soon as we walk in there they are legit going to be all over you."

"Yeah, bring it on dude. I can take on anything right now."

Brooke

I lay in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. He's gone and I've been like this for the past three days. Practically dead. Only getting out of bed when my parents are home. I don't listen to music, watch shows, talk to Max and Kat. Nothing. And honestly, the only person I want to talk to is Josh. Just him. No one else. Yeah, my phone is getting blown up like no tomorrow right now but that's okay. And I know Josh won't text me unless I text him first. He wouldn't know if I killed myself until he got back at this point. He doesn't keep in touch with anyone else from our school, so how would he know? Unless his mom told him. He's far enough away, I'll text him when I'm about to do it. Then he will at least know. And if I'm going to do it soon I really need to start writing that goodbye note... Tomorrow. I will do it tomorrow. There, now I'll have something other to do than sleep and eat. I need to cut as well. The urge is overwhelming nowadays. After I do it, I feel better, happy even. For once. These three days without him have been dismal. I hate myself for cheating on him. I hate myself for being this weak. I hate myself for letting it get this bad. I hate myself for all of this. Even for what happened with Ashlee and all them. For what I did to them even if it was unintentional.

Flashback

"Oh my god! Brooke you totally have to check this out!" Ashlee says to me completely excited. "What is it?" I ask her scooching closer on the bed to her. "It's this, look at this. It's amazing right?" I look at her phone's screen and its an image of Taylor Lautner from the Twilight Saga. "He's an it now Ash?" I ask her laughing. "Well...no. Not necessarily. But he is cute."

"Well duh, of course he is. But you know who is hotter?"

"Who Brooke?" She asks me with a smile on her face. "You are." I say smiling. How could you not love this sweet, cute blonde haired chick with icy blue eyes? She smiles back at me her eyes glinting. "Brooke." She whines. "Yea Ash?"

"You are completely beautiful." Her smile gets wider and she tackles me onto the bed. "Ash, what are you doing?" I ask her wriggling to get out from underneath her. "This." And then her lips were on my neck and her hands were trailing up and down my body. And after that things just got steamier.

End of Flashback

The day in school after that, she avoided me. After school I found her and tried to kiss her and she pushed me away and told me not in school. That no one could ever know that she liked girls. So we kept going in secret for a while until we were 12. Then she ended it. And after that the bullying started. I'm pretty sure at this point we are both bisexual. Because, I know that there was something there with Josh. There is still something there. But I am going to be dead soon and I needed to hurt him so it would hurt him less. I just hope that he can forgive me at some point in his life.

Josh

As the craziness goes on around me, I find my thoughts wandering back to Brooke. How bad the cuts were getting. It looked like she was making patterns on her skin with her own blood. Neat little lines of silver, pink, and bright red. There were bruises there too. I don't know from what or if that area is just really sensitive because of the cuts, but it was one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen. And I'm just praying that she isn't still doing it. Speaking of which, I should probably check up on her.

Me- Brooke? You ok? U rnt cutting right?

Minutes pass and she still hasn't texted me. Which is weird. Normally when I text her she responds immediately. She could be sleeping I guess... Probably not. "Hey Josh? You okay man?" Tony says completely interrupting my train of thoughts. "Yeah I'm okay." I say with a smile. He smiles back sympathetically. "Yo, the guys and me are goin' out for a pizza. Wanna join?"

"Yeah sure, it will be good to be with all of you again."

"Awesome get your shoes on then because we are leaving now."

A while later I'm sitting in a Pizza Hut with all my friends. None of them brought their girls so it's just us. But apparently they will be joining us later this week. I am not really looking forward to the coupley stuff. I will live with it though. Gone through something similar to this before, I can do it again, I hope. My phone buzzes and it's a text from Brooke.

Brooke- yea, i'm ok. And ive been cutting but its fine it doesnt matter. Dont worry about me.

Me- Brooke youve gotta stop cutting

"Dude, get off your phone and join us. We haven't seen you in forever and this is how you treat us? Just staring at your phone? How the fuck does that make sense?" Jason smiles at me. "It doesn't."

"Fine, I guess I can join in with you guys." It really isn't that hard but it is way more fun to sass them than it is to just go along with it. "You guess? Josh c'mon when did you turn into such a buzzkill?" Tony asks me. "When I left?" I ask chuckling. "Well, the old Josh needs to come back then." My friend Gabe walks through the door and sits down and join us. "Well, it looks the the fearsome four are together again for a week now aren't we?"

"Gabe just stop. We are the sexy four, not the fearsome four."

"Really Josh? The sexy four? I'm pretty damn sure that's just you." I laugh at that. "Tony, ain't nobody here sexier than you, I mean, have you seen yourself lately? Like damn, you be smokin'."

"Josh, just shut up, you too Tony. We all are sexy so shush, we already know the ladies love us." Jason says smirking. "So, what would you fellows like to eat tonight?" The waitress says walking up. "Three cheese pizzas and an order of bread sticks please." Tony says ordering the amount that we normally eat. "Coming right up, would you like anything to drink?"

"I'll have a root beer please." I say smiling. A chorus of sames erupt from the table. "Well, I will bring those right out for you." She walks away leaving us to ourselves.

An hour later after scarfing our pizza and chatting we are walking out of Pizza Hut laughing. I had no idea how much I needed a guys night out till now. "So you guys want to go clubbing?" Tony asks smiling mischievously. "Hell yeah." I say completely ready to get drunk off my ass and have fun. "You've all got your fake I.D.'s still?" Jason asks. "And by that you all I mean Josh."

"Yeah, it's in my pocket all set and ready to go." We walk down the street to our favorite club to go to for a good time. After the bouncer checks our I.D.'s we walk in and see the bright flashing light and hear the music. "Alright, everyone have fun. Meet up at the bar around 11?" Jason says smiling already looking around for girls to charm. "Yea that works, see you guys then." I walk off into the middle of the dance for and get lost in the music. Unlike the rest of them, I don't come here for sex and drinking. I come here for the music. This club is kind of old fashioned and its got all the 80's and 90's music mixed in with the indie pop of our time. Thursday night is country music. Since our town is in the middle of city and country it works out and Thursday is one of their busiest nights. Soon enough hands sneak around my waist. "Hey mister, you look like you're in need of a good time." I look down and see this chick with black hair, electric blue eyes, and wearing a low cut dark blue dress. It shifts between slutty and dressy creating a little bit of mystery to what she wants. "Seems you guessed right gorgeous. You caught me at a good time."

"Awesome." She purrs, a smile crossing her face. Another thing about this club is that they have rooms for when people want a little private time if you catch my meaning. "Want to go find a room?" I ask her smirking. "Yes please." She says. And on that note, we walk off to forget about the world for a while.

"Alright guys, ready to go?" Josh says, all of our hair messed up along with our clothes. We all nod sitting at the bar. And then there are sirens ringing. Police rush into the club. "All right everyone hands above your heads!" They yell, aiming at us with their guns but not actually shooting. "We were informed that there are drugs in here and we are arresting everyone immediately." Gabe, Tony, Jason, and I look at each other. Thank god we didn't drink tonight or eat anything here. Hopefully they will just drug test us and let us go and our parents will not be informed. A few minutes later everyone is handcuffed and in police cars. Some people are laughing and others are just sitting there. It is pretty much impossible to tell who is high and who isn't. "Alright, you guys are definitely under-aged and not even close to being allowed in there. We are taking you to the police stations, running some tests and then you may call someone to pick you all up." The policeman in the front of the car says.

A few hours later they give me my phone and I call Brooke hoping she will answer and pick us all up instead of my mom. "Hello?" She says sounding so completely broken and her voice is almost a broken record sound, like she hasn't talked in days. "Hey, its Josh. I was wondering if you could drive to the Clearwater Police Station and pick my friends and I up please?"

"What the hell are you all doing in a fucking police station Josh?" She asks me completely pissed off. "I'll tell you in the car, just please pick us up."

"Fine. I'm on my way." The guys and I sit in silence while we wait for Brooke. After a couple of hours I hear her voice asking to take us out. And its bad how much I still care about her and miss her. I know I shouldn't but its pretty much impossible for me not to. "Alright boys, Ms. Gosaka is taking you all home. Don't get in trouble again okay?"

"Yes sir." I say saluting. The police officer rolls his eyes at us and unlocks the holding cell door. My friends and I walk out and over to Brooke. She takes in our state, no emotion showing in her eyes at my appearance. I wish she would show some emotion at least. "Alright boys c'mon let's get you all home." She says her voice level and calm and collected. We walk out to the car and Brooke slides into the front seat. "Josh take passenger, you three sit in the back." She instructs us in a don't you dare ask questions or I will rip your heads off tone. "Got it." I say sliding in next to her as the guys go to the back. As she drives off, tension sets into the atmosphere. As soon as we are far enough away she pulls the car onto the side of the road near some woods. "Alright, who wants to tell me why the hell I'm taking all of you out of jail?" She asks looking at all four of us, her voice commanding attention and sounding stricter than I have ever heard it. "We got into a club using fake I.D.'s because all of us are underage. We got arrested because of that but the only reason the police found out was because it was reported that there were drugs and alcohol there." Jason says, definitely have the most balls out of all of us. "Okay, and why do you all look like you just got done having sex?" The guys and I all drop our eyes to the floor. She definitely knows how to hit the points that hurt. "Brooke-"

"Stop Josh. Somehow I thought you were more decent than this. But you are just like everyone else aren't you? You just hide all your problems in the booze and sex welcomingly. Congratulations, all my respect for you is gone."  My eyes widen at that.  "Really?  You lost respect for me?  After you fucking cheated on me?  How the fuck does that make any sense?"  She takes a deep breath and the guys look back and forth between us.  "So this is the chick that cheat on you Josh?  Oh hell no.  Get out of this car right now.  I don't care if you shouldn't hit girls or not I swear to-"

"Tony just shut up right now please."  I interrupt him.  He sits back, silenced for now. "Yes I lost respect for you. There's a reason I did what I did, I just can't tell you what it is." Her eyes sadden as soon as she starts the sentence. "Brooke... Does this have anything to do with your cutting?" I rest my hand on her thigh rubbing slightly with my thumb. She winces in pain. "Kind of. Alright, end of conversation. I'm taking all of you home now." And with that, she took us home, and not another word was spoken between any of us for the remainder of the night.