"Save me now because tomorrow's gone

Just like yesterday"

TYLER JOSEPH - 'Just Like Yesterday'

.

Cali woke up the way falling in love was described: slowly and quietly, with an ache in her heart and a pulsing hunger tearing at her stomach.

She stretched in bed, relishing in the burn of her muscles as she eased the tension out of them. The aceh had vanished during her sleep, and when she held her hand over her face and stared at it, her fingers didn't shake. The only remnant of her attack was a searing headache that made her hiss under her breath.

"Are you awake yet?" Tommy shouted from the kitchen, and Cali grinned, pulling herself up so she was sitting with her back to the headboard. When she didn't respond, Tommy padded to the doorway and stuck his head through, holding a tray. "Ah, there she is!"

Cali's gin stretched wider. "How many times have you called out only to find I'm still asleep?"

"Not important." Tommy waved a hand flippantly. He was wearing an atrocious orange apron, with a sausage strategically placed near the bottom. Cali couldn't hide her amusement. "Anyway," Tommy said brightly, "because I'm awesome, I've made breakfast for you."

"No bacon?" Cali checked.

Tommy gave her a droll look as he moved into the room, carefully settling the tray on Cali's legs. "I'm offended you would think so little of me. Don't worry, I've got your standard order - all the hashbrowns in the damn apartment and tomato sauce. I even got a frappe delivered for you, no cream."

"Mm." Cali hummed appreciatively, immediately picking up the cold drink and taking a long drink. She hummed again, looking up at Tommy and beaming. "You really are my favourite brother."

"I'm your only brother, so I'm also your least favourite brother, but okay."

"Stop ruining a good thing."

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Eat your food."

Cali stuck her tongue out childishly, but obediently started pulling apart her hashbrowns, dunking the pieces in the river of tomato sauce on her plate before eating them. Each bite was better than the first, and sooner than she thought, the plate was clean and the frappe cup empty. Tommy just laughed as he grabbed the tray and bustled out of the room.

Cali sank back down until her head was resting on the pillow again, duvet pulled up to her chin. She wasn't tired, not really, but something heavy clutched at her bones and she found that it was verging on impossible to move much besides rolling around in the bed. Now that her hunger had been dealt with, she was free to dwell on her headache and the emptiness in her chest.

She'd embarrassed herself last night.

Oliver shouldn't have been subjected to her exhausted worry and subsequent conversation before she'd fled into the night. She'd been a mess in front of Parker too, and while it wasn't the first time, it certainly made her feel small. God knew what Tommy thought of her now. He sounded at ease, but she knew that the conversation they'd put off after Cali's attack wouldn't be tucked away forever.

She tugged the duvet over her head, squeezing her eyes shut as her hot breaths puffed against the thick fabric. It got hot quickly, but she didn't pull herself out until she heard Tommy come back into the room.

He raised an eyebrow as she threw the duvet off her face. "Trying to smother yourself now?"

"It didn't work," Cali grumbled half-heartedly, blinking up at him. "God, this headache feels like it's trying to break out of my damn skull."

"Good thing I'm the best brother in the world."

Tommy motioned for her to hold her hand out, dropping two small tablets onto her palm. Cali threw them into her mouth instantly, dry swallowing them without a second thought. Tommy simply shook his head before setting down the glass of water he'd had in his hand down on the bedside table.

Cali gave him a sheepish look. "I totally didn't see the water."

Tommy flicked his fingers dismissively, perching himself on the edge of the bed. "I know you're a drama queen," he said easily. "I'm not surprised."

"Damn. That means I have to step up my game."

"You're exhausting."

"I try."

Tommy swatted her gently, and Cali fell silent, sensing the need to be a little more serious. Tommy looked tired down to his bones - his shoulders were slouched as though the weight of the world rested there and his eyes were dull and slightly glossy with a type of emotion Cali wasn't overly familiar with.

He took a moment just to stare at her, fiddling with something small in his hands. Cali eyed the object warily, waiting for Tommy to say something, to do something. It was obvious he had things he wanted to tell her.

Finally, he sighed and held out the small object. Cali recognised it as a USB drive, black and unassuming. She didn't take it, instead stared back at Tommy quizzically. Her brother sighed again, heavier this time, like she'd missed something he'd tried to convey without words.

"This was on the counter top this morning," he said quietly as he dropped his arm, evidently sensing that Cali wasn't going to grab it. "There was a note with it, addressed to you. I think the vigilante in the hood left it here sometime this morning, after we both fell asleep."

Cali frowned down at the small drive, watching Tommy roll it between his fingers. "What's on it?"

Tommy shook his head. He didn't know.

Cali held her hand out and Tommy passed the device over, the plastic warm from the constant handling. Nothing about it seemed dangerous or particularly foreboding but it seemed heavy in her grip, like the secrets it held were weighing it down. She turned it over and over, eyes searching for any sort of mark or indication of why it was here, why she needed it.

She glanced up at Tommy. "Do you still have the note?"

This time, Tommy was more reluctant when he handed it over. Cali snatched it out of his hand without really caring about his hesitancy. The paper was thick and official, clearly torn from a pad with little patience or consideration. There was a company logo in the corner, stamped in blue.

Cali went cold.

That was her father's company logo.

The hooded vigilante had been to her father's company and brought something back.

She scanned the note quickly, gnawing on the inside of her lip. Something about the writing seemed...off, or familiar. No, not familiar. It was something, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She felt as though she should recognise it, but there was nothing to recognise. It didn't match the handwriting of anyone she knew.

The note itself read: 'Calissa, your father has not told you everything. This USB contains proof of his treachery and betrayal of your family. Read it carefully and use it cautiously. It may be dangerous for you to act with haste.'

There was no signature.

Cali crumpled the note in her hand, gritting her teeth.

Of course it was about Malcolm. It was always about Malcolm, and Malcolm's treachery, and Malcolm's troubles, and Malcolm's bitterness. He was always the bad guy, and Cali knew that it would never change, but she'd always hoped that her and Tommy had been spared from his outrage.

"This is typical," she said, voice tight and hot. "We always seem to be the ones cleaning up the messes he leaves behind."

Tommy watched her, lips turned down with dismay and disappointment. "Do you think it has to do with why he was grabbing at you so insistently yesterday?"

Cali bit her lip. It was more likely that it had to do with why Malcolm was drugging her, but she hadn't told Tommy about that yet, so she nodded impassively and let her brother assume what he would. She'd tell him when she had some answers, not before. There was no point in getting him angry until she had everything figured out.

Tommy exhaled slowly through his nose, tilting his head to the side just slightly. Cali watched him mutely, holding on to the USB so tightly she could feel it press into her palm. Any sense of peace was long gone by now, but Cali suddenly craved that naivety that would allow her to live in bliss for a little while. She was tired of family drama, of people not dying, of not being able to trust anyone.

She was tired of vigilantes who appeared at the same time her best friend came back from the dead, and she was tired of her headaches. She was tired of how difficult it was just to be a normal girl in an abnormal city.

"Just once," she said to her brother, who winced at her deadened tone, "I would like to do something fun. Something that doesn't involve mysterious information or danger."

Tommy hummed absently, twisting his fingers around each other as he collected his thoughts. "You know, if it's fun you're looking for, tomorrow is Sunday." He wiggled his eyebrows at her as though that was supposed to mean something. When Cali only gave him a blank look, Tommy sagged. "I guess I better text Janet and tell her you aren't interested."

Cali shot straight up in bed, eyes blown wide. "Fuck."

Tomorrow was Sunday.

Tomorrow was Janet.

Immediately, Cali was searching for her phone, only now realising that her jacket had been stripped from her before she'd fallen asleep and was now somewhere out of sight. She tried to scramble out of bed, but Tommy held her back with one hand, using his other to fish her phone out of his own pocket.

"I didn't want you to roll on it during the night," he explained as Cali dove for the device, carelessly tossing the USB on the nightstand and pulling up Janet's number. "Oh, and in case the food threw you off, it's almost midday."

"Tommy," Cali said slowly, once she'd checked the time and confirmed it was 11:56am. "Why were you feeding me breakfast food at lunchtime?"

Tommy raised a shoulder carelessly. "I don't believe lunchtime starts until after 12pm so-"

"Why did you let me sleep so long? I never sleep so long!"

Tommy studied her for a heartbeat, the humour on his face faltering as he tried to figure out if she was genuinely upset about the situation. Evidently, he found enough in her face to decide that she was more distressed with her body's sudden lapse than his decision to let it happen. After all, Malcolm had drugged her before, and she hadn't slept for longer than usual.

Which, when she really thought about it, was strange. She remembered sleeping deeply a few times, and hadn't Malcolm said something about not being able to wake her up? Yes, he had. When she'd missed Oliver's court date to legally resurrect him. She'd thought it strange that she'd slept through that. If she was drugged, that would explain it.

But there had to have been other times, like last night. The lemonade should have had more of an effect, despite her not drinking the whole glass. Instead, she'd only managed a few hours before waking up again.

She'd slept for a full nine hours after her attack without being drugged. Why? How?

She slept deeply, but not for long.

"I know your attacks take a lot out of you." Tommy sounded oddly strained, and Cali blinked at him in alarm. Tommy didn't quite meet her eyes. "They always have. Remember the few months after I tracked you down?"

Cali winced. Right. She'd disappeared for six months after Michael had been convicted and sentenced. Tommy had found her, shattered into a million little pieces, and then nursed her back to sanity. It had been a long struggle, and Cali had lost her cool too many times to count, but they'd gotten through it.

Tommy had a point. Every single one of her meltdowns left her weak and exhausted. Maybe Malcolm didn't need to drug her. He might as well just trigger her.

Cali shook her head. "Forget the breakfast thing, I'm being a bitch. I'll text Janet, and then I'll call Parker to take me home."

Tommy inhaled sharply. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said carefully. "Malcolm could be waiting for you again, and after his actions yesterday, I don't know if I'm comfortable with you being alone. We both know he'll track you down if he thinks he can get to you."

"You can't wrap me in bubble wrap and just wait for the trouble to go away," Cali said.

Tommy lifted his chin minutely. "I can try," he said with the flickering defiance of a man who would stare God in the face and laugh if it meant protecting those he cared about.

Cali very steadily said nothing and tapped out a brief message to Janet. She pretended her fingers didn't tremble when she pressed send and turned the phone off.

'I can't take on Starling City tomorrow without help. Have you got a treasure map for me?'

Innocuous. Innocent. Playful, almost. Everything Cali wanted out of a relationship. Janet hadn't come back from the dead. Janet didn't have a father that interfered. Janet had a nice smile and she made amazing milkshakes and her freckles just happened to look like constellations. Cali wanted this, wanted someone that wasn't part of her tangled past. Someone fresh, someone new.

Someone real, who was with her because they wanted to be, not because they'd grown up with her and felt they had to be.

Her phone buzzed with Janet's response. Cali checked it with her heart in her throat. A time and a place, followed by, 'X marks the spot!'

Somehow, it didn't really make Cali feel any better.

Tommy could only watch in silent dismay as Cali dialled Parker's number and told him to take her home, she needed a night to herself. Tommy could only watch as Cali hauled herself out of bed and grabbed onto the USB drive and the crumpled-up note, squaring her shoulders and setting her jaw as she prepared to walk away.

He waited until she'd bid him farewell and shut the front door firmly behind her before whispering, "Good luck."

.

"I want to meet your dad."

Cali started, taken off-guard by the sudden declaration. They were sitting at the dining table, dinner on their plates. Michael had already started eating. Cali just felt sick. "I'm sorry?"

Michael frowned. "It wasn't that hard. I want to meet your father. You don't talk much about him, but I figure since your mom's dead, he's a pretty important part of your life."

Cali's breathing had stuttered to a gentle halt at the careless mention of her mother. Michael had been completely blase, as though he didn't care about the pain that came with each reminder, the soulful agony that haunted Cali day and night. And besides, she'd told him about Malcolm.

"My father and I aren't close," she said cautiously, unsure whether the reminder would set her boyfriend off. He was unpredictable like that, and Cali hated to make him angry.

Michael slammed his fork down, dark eyes shuttering and lips tightening with displeasure. "I didn't ask if you were close, I said I wanted to meet him. I want to see what he's like."

"He's a bastard," Cali said bluntly.

Michael grinned meanly, the sudden switch in emotion throwing Cali off balance. "I said that about your brother too, and you got mad at me." He leaned forward, his edges sharp and dangerous. "Do you like your shitty family, Lissy? Is that why you're the way you are?"

Cali opened her mouth to defend herself, but found she couldn't make a sound. Her vocal cords had frozen, her throat was unbearably tight. It was hard enough getting a decent breath of air, let alone forming words and shoving them out of her mouth. So instead of calling Michael out on his bulshit, she could only sit there and gape.

Michael cackled, like something funny had just happened, and picked up his fork again. "At least they taught you how to sit down and shut up."

Cali managed a wounded clicking sound before she shut her mouth and focused on her dinner. She wanted to say a number of things, had a mental list of horrible names she could throw at her boyfriend, but she swallowed it all back. It wasn't worth it. All it would achieve was fighting, and Cali was tired of fighting.

Instead, she let Michael drive the knife a little deeper. "I bet they made a lot of trouble for you," he said brightly, as though this was a happy conversation and not a brutal display of cruelty. "Rick folks always do. It's the Cinderella story, of course. They choose their less popular, more useless girl and they step all over her. Then that same girl gets rescued by a prince who loves her and will always cherish her."

'Are you my prince?' Cali wanted to ask, but she didn't. She knew the answer. It might've sounded romantic if she wasn't so ungrateful.

Michael continued casually, "You're Cinderella, Lissy. I'm the one who saved you from that horrible family. I love you, not them."

On and on he went, and Cali never dared speak up. It wasn't worth it, sometimes. It was late, she was tired. The fighting always got nasty when she was tired. Instead, she listened as Michael talked about Tommy being a bad influence, and how he was sure Malcolm would fail to live up to his expectations.

Cali made dinner plans at one of the fanciest restaurants in Starling City. Malcolm never showed and Michael laughed all the way home.

.

God bless Parker.

Cali made another small, happy sound as she flipped to the next page of her new book. It had been sitting on the backseat for her, brand new and inviting. Parker smiled gently. "Cassidy recommended it," he said. "I thought you might enjoy something new."

Cali, whose eagerness had faltered slightly at the mention of Cassidy, met his eyes in the rearview mirror for a single breath. "Thank you," she said sincerely. "You two always seem to know what I need before I do."

Parker said, "It's all part of the job, Miss Cali."

No, Cali thought, looking down at the book. No, it really isn't, but I know what it is you aren't saying.

.

She slept fitfully that night, plagued by the horrible feeling that something was happening, something she was supposed to be a part of but was missing out on. The USB, buried at the bottom of her bedside draw, mocked her. The darkness of her room all at once seemed too heavy and yet not thick enough. She was too hot but too exposed.

She gave up on sleep at around five in the morning, instead opting to get up and have a long shower. It was supposed to make her feel better - it had in the past - but this time, Cali stood under the burning water and felt the yawning hollowness in her chest widen and widen until she was falling down inside herself.

The collapse was loud inside her head, a rumbling roar of hopelessness and grief. Her bones clashed together like the drums of war, the sound skittering away under her skin and merging with the bubbling wail of her veins. Her body was a symphony of destruction as it tore itself apart, gurgling as that chasm tried to swallow her destruction. The noises were loud and spinning; Cali felt drunk on the deafening cacophony of chaos.

Outside, in the real world, the only sound was Cali's breathing and the splattering of water on the tiles of the shower.

Her shoulders flexed without warning, her skin warmed beyond the point of soothing. With her mind fraying, her body was taking over, moving and twisting under the constant barrage of water droplets. Her fingers scrabbled against the wall as she teetered to the side, a sob catching in her throat and tearing at the soft skin.

She swallowed it back reflexively, battling her crumbling mental empire as she sought to regain control over herself. She couldn't let herself fall apart entirely, not in the way she had after Michael. Not now. Later, when Janet wasn't expecting her and Tommy wasn't thinking of her.

Later, when she'd faded from the forefront of people's minds and she could cease to exist in peace.

For now, though, she grappled with herself, smoothing over the gaping nothing with cobwebs and dusty promises that really meant nothing when she thought about them. Handful by handful, she built herself back up, enough so she could stand properly in the shower and not fall to her knees under the heat and pressure of a world that didn't care for those who weren't special.

Achingly slowly, Cali washed her body down, rinsing her hair and gentling her skin. She stitched up invisible wounds until her insides weren't on her outside anymore, and then she carefully pushed it all down until she could be herself, just for a little while.

She had a tendency to fall apart like this without warning. Her old therapist used to say that so long as she found a way to make herself up again, everything else would fall into line.

Doctor Bath had always been a clueless bitch.

Cali turned off the shower, basking in the stilted silence that hung in the air for a split second after the water stopped. All at once, the peace shattered, and she moved, grabbing her towel and humming under her breath. Her illusion of control strengthened with each line of the song she sang in her head, and by the time she was moving back to her bedroom to get dressed, it was though her entire breakdown had never happened.

The best thing about imploding? There was nothing to see on the outside afterwards. Cali dressed herself in sheer black stockings and a skirt, tying the bottom of a green blouse into a knot so that the garment was cropped and ended just above her belly button. She pulled on some boots and pulled her hair into a ponytail, and then she stared at herself in the mirror long enough to hate the entire ensemble.

But she looked whole. The only fracture was her face, but once she'd smeared on some make-up, the look had gone. The girl in the mirror looked normal, attractive. Her eyes were a little sharp, edged with eye-liner as they were, but there were no signs that she was held together by spider silk strands.

She turned away from the mirror before she was sucked into her reflection.

She moved out of the room, grabbing her bag and her phone before bustling down stairs and into the car waiting for her. She pulled up a map of Starling City on her phone, even as she told Parker the destination.

Janet's text had contained the name of a quaint little water-front attraction, Dolor Park. It bordered the far side of the Glades, where there were fewer people but more plants. Dolor Park had been a pet project for the last mayor they'd had, years ago.

Once upon a time, when the park had been new, it had been possible to watch birthday parties take place, watch children run and play on once-new equipment. Now, as all things were this close to the Glades, the park was run-down and overgrown, sprawling vines laying claim to the swings and the metal poles and the childhood memories.

Cali had to admit there was a strange beauty to it. As Parker drove along the waterfront, she took in the unusual picture. The soft greenness of Dolor Park, framed by the decrepit greyness of the Glades. The lines were harsh, the difference in colour and life and meaning pressing against Cali's face, even as she resided safely behind the window of the car.

Parker pulled to a stop in front of an overgrown ramp down into the water. "Would you like me to wait?"

Cali glanced out at the park, eyes snagging on a small moving figure that seemed to be weaving in and out of the old playground. "No," she answered lightly, smiling. "I'm sure we'll be just fine."

She stepped out of the car without another moment's hesitation, slinging her bag strap over her shoulder and hurrying over to the playground. The figure morphed and solidified the closer she got, until Janet's face came into focus, angelic in the morning light.

Cali's breath was snatched away shamelessly, but she found that she couldn't care less. Janet was almost ethereal, her ginger hair loose and floating around her shoulder, her mouth painted with a dangerous coat of lipgloss. She was wearing jeans and a sweater, and managed to look as though she were going to a red carpet event.

"Hi Janet," Cali greeted breathlessly.

Janet laughed, a very pleasant sound, and wrapped Cali in a tight hug. "Hi!"

Janet gave very good hugs.

Cali wasn't the first one to pull away and found herself missing the contact the minute Janet stepped back. She bit back her complaints, though, and simply smiled as widely as she could. Janet laughed again, obviously delighted. Cali flushed.

"I admit," she confessed bashfully, "this was not where I expected you to pick."

Janet gave her a sly smile and tilted back to lean on an ivy-smothered pillar for long-forgotten monkey bars. "I've always loved this park," she said, sounding more than a little wistful. "I brought my little brother here every day until the accident."

"The accident?" Cali repeated.

Janet looked away, idly brushing her hand along another bar. "We live in the Glades." It was answer enough.

Cali reached out and gently grabbed Janet's arm, conveying her empathetic sorrow without actually saying the words. Janet didn't say anything either, but the look she shot Cali said all that it needed to.

"Come on," Cali said, trying not to let the strain of her emotions colour her voice. "I haven't played on a playground like this for ages."

She burst into action suddenly, once Janet had nodded her agreement, hands scrabbling to find a grip on the overgrown monkey bars. She managed to hold herself for two counts before the plants gave way around the bars and she dropped to her knees. She didn't stay down for long though, and Janet whooped and hollered encouragement as Cali clambered to her feet.

Cali sketched a bow, like she was a performer in front of a live audience, and jumped for the now-clear monkey bar again, the worn metal biting into her palms. She hung for a moment, feeling more than seeing the ground disappear beneath her feet. She was both weightless and far too heavy.

She lasted three minutes before her fingers slipped and she crashed to her feet.

Janet appeared beside her, giving her a sneaky wink before gracefully reaching up and pulling herself easily off the ground. She hung for a second, like Cali had, but then her shoulders tensed and slowly, her body lifted even more.

"Holy shit," Cali breathed, awed, as Janet easily pushed herself up until the bar was pressing into her stomach. With nothing more than an exhale, Janet dropped back down and swung, easily slotting her legs through the next gap, the rest of her body following. Within seconds, Janet was sitting on top of the monkey bars, looking down at Cali with eyes that were far too smug.

She batted her eyelashes. "High School gymnastics champion, baby."

Cali put her hands on her hips, awe melting into something cheekier. "So you're flexible?"

"When I want to be." Janet laughed her tinkling laugh, the sweet sound at odds with her suggestive words. Cali blustered for a second, deciding to find a way up to join Janet instead of figuring out an answer. "You're coming up?"

Cali grinned, reaching for the supporting beams around the monkey bars and clambering up on them. "I may not have your fancy tricks," she puffed, pulling herself up until she could crawl along the top of the monkey bars, "but I'm not going to let you stew in a false victory."

Janet laughed again, and Cali came to a stop beside her, and they sat atop the monkey bars in Dolor Park.

.

"Laurel, I know you're frustrated, but you need to be careful. If Jason Brodeur is guilty, he could come after you for meddling with the Declan case." Laurel grumbled to herself, muttering some very uncivil things about male genitals and where to stick them. Cali tried in vain to muffle her amusement as she continued. "You're doing this for the hooded guy, right?"

Laurel huffed. "I'm doing this for justice, not for some vigilante in an outdated costume."

"Laurel. I know you better than that."

There was a beat of silence before Laurel sighed, her anger deflating and melting into something more like hopeless despair. Cali frowned down at the pasta that was bubbling away on the stove. It wasn't like Laurel to give up so easily, so totally. Laurel was a fighter - the good old fashioned Lance genetics made it hard to give up the good fight.

But both Oliver Queen and the hooded vigilante seemed to be causing events and reactions that wouldn't otherwise occur. Starling City was tripping over itself trying to understand and accommodate two foreign personalities, despite Oliver's attempts to live the lie he'd built upon his return.

The truth would come out eventually. It was a question of who was ready for it.

"I think the Hood is someone I know," Laurel said finally, much quieter now that she'd moved on from ranting about the corrupt political system. "I think it's someone who knows me. He's...I don't know."

Cali worried at her bottom lip with her teeth, stirring her pasta thoughtfully. "You know how creepy that is, right? Like, objectively?"

Laurel let out a small, startled laugh. "Shut up."

"No seriously. You have no idea if you know this person, even though they seem to know things about you. They have an obsession with you."

"But why?" Laurel asked. "I'm not a very interesting person."

Cali squinted at her pasta, wondering if the water was supposed to froth like that. "Laurel, honey, you're plenty interesting. You're also very attractive. And the daughter of a cop. And an awesome lawyer. And you fight for justice too, you just don't hide your face. There are a million reasons some random in a hood might be interested in you."

"Pshaw," Laurel said.

Turning off the stove, Cali wedged her phone between her ear and her shoulder, grabbing the pot of pasta and tipping everything into the strainer. The steam hissed up into the air and warmed the skin of her forearm. She hummed to herself softly, abandoning the used pot in the sink and moving to drain the last of the water from the pasta.

Hurriedly, she transferred the pasta into a bowl, dumping an excessive amount of cheese on top before grabbing a fork and sashaying over to her couch. "So," she said to Laurel, curling up on the end seat. "Do you have any solid theories about who's under the hood?"

Laurel shifted on her end, possibly mimicking Cali's transference to the couch. "I don't know," Laurel harrumphed. "The timing is strange. I mean, if a vigilante is going to go after rich guys, why wait until now? It doesn't add up, you know?"

Cali shoved a forkful of cheesy pasta into her mouth, contemplative. Laurel was right, something about the whole vigilante thing was off. The timing, the targets, the sudden fascination with Laurel. If it weren't for the killing of the victims, Cali would have suggested Tommy. He had the passion and the drive for vigilantism, and Oliver's return had certainly set him on edge. But killing....Tommy wouldn't stand for killing people so mercilessly, no matter how much they deserved it.

"It could be John Diggle," Cali mused, stabbing at her pasta. "He appeared around Oliver at the same time the vigilante showed up. He's got a military background, the morals, the drive." Privately, she didn't think John was the sort of person to pick off billionaires with a bow and some arrows, but she didn't really want to think about the most likely option.

Neither did Laurel, it seemed. "For all we know, it could be some random kid who has a celebrity crush." Laurel's voice was brittle with the unacknowledged truth they both understood.

It was obvious who was under that hood. There was only one person who'd gone away, and then come back twisted enough to kill people. There was one person who could've learned to use a bow and arrow, simply to survive if there were no guns, no people, no help coming. There was one person who'd come back at the same time as the new vigilante, one person who had shadows in his eyes and secrets of his tongue.

Cali knew who was under that hood.

But she couldn't bring herself to accept it, acknowledge it, understand. Not yet. She couldn't. The minute she allowed herself to know that Oliver-

Cali viciously stabbed a piece of pasta, jaw clenching. She wasn't hungry anymore. There was nothing in her stomach but a hollow sense of dread. She set the bowl aside, spoon clinking against the ceramic sides. She curled further into herself, holding the phone again rather than relying on smushing it beneath her cheek.

"Do you think...." Laurel trailed off, sounding uncharacteristically vulnerable. "Cali, I really like your brother. He's sweet, and genuine, and I can tell he really wants us to work, but..."

"You're still in love with Oliver."

It was a truth, a fact, a statement. Cali had no doubt in her heart or her mind that whatever had been between Oliver and Laurel had never really died. She could see it, even now. Laurel's rage and loathing for Oliver was born out of fear and hurt. She was scared of her own feelings and what that meant for them both. She was hurt, because Oliver had already run away once and it had gotten Sara killed.

It was not a question of whether Laurel loved Oliver. It was a question of whether Laurel could love Tommy just as much, if not more.

Cali knew the answer to that one too, deep down. It broke her heart.

Subdued, Laurel said, "I need to meet with Peter Declan. I'll talk to you later?"

Throat tight, Cali nodded. "I'll see you on the other side."

Her words were met with the dial tone and the echoing knowledge that everything in Starling City was falling apart, and Cali could only hold her hand out and watch it slip through her fingers like sand.

.

It seemed word of her therapy sessions got around. Not too long after her call with Laurel, once the sun had dipped below the horizon and it was the moon's turn, Cali felt her phone buzz on her leg, jarring and urgent. It could have been anybody, and she was expecting it to be one of four people when she flicked the screen on.

'I need to know: Can I have faith in Oliver Queen?'

The text was from John Diggle, who was decidedly not one of the four she'd expected, and radiated enough distress that Cali muted the TV and sat up a little bit straighter. It was odd to get something like this from the unflappable bodyguard. She knew that John had resigned from the original position, but she hadn't known why. Perhaps she could find out.

She tapped furiously on the screen, brows furrowing. 'Faith? Hard to say. No trust for a billionaire playboy with secrets?'

She didn't have to wait long for an answer. 'Faith and trust are two very different things, Miss Merlyn.'

She knew what he meant, what he was trying to say. Trust was hard to give, harder still to earn. Trust had to be earned, had to be won, had to be fought for. Trust could be tender, wavering, strong or weak. Trust was a privilege, a reward, a promise.

Faith was absolute. It was easy to give, to receive. It was easier to lose it. To have faith in someone, in something... that kind of power could level cities and forge love and launch a crusade into the past where everybody's crucibles became a tangled knot of agony and bitter loss.

Her thumbs hesitated for a moment before she typed out her response.

'Have faith in Oliver Queen.'

She watched her phone.

John didn't answer.