Hello Humans

I've been gone for too long, away to an unknown place. It's cold and damp and I'm annoyed with it. I need help but that's a lost cause so it's just me and my...

My name is... unimportant at the moment, so call me Blu for now.

Call me crazy, but I'm best friends with the monster the lives under my bed. The boogie man, you ask? No, he's not real. And one more thing, my monster hides behind a handsome face. He scares me and he entices me. I'm not sure if I'm frightened or turned on whenever I'm around him. He's as much of a mystery as the Bermuda Triangle, he also keeps a lot of secrets to himself... my monster has many secrets, and it's unnerving.

He hates me, yet his advances on me are very strongly enforced and its obviousness is ridiculous. He hurts me, heals me, and surprises me. I hate him, but I don't. I want him gone, yet I worry about him all the time. He's made me bipolar for him.

The monster under my bed is a jerk and his name fits him like the slick black leather gloves that he wears when he's too lazy to turn into his human form and doesn't want to risk killing me. I'm getting carried away again. His name... it's a secret. I'll tell you when I'm safe. Right now I'm being hunted by a creature which I'll speak more of when he's not being such a hungry little prick.

Yes, I'm talking to you while I'm being hunted, so what?! Anyways, I have to stop typing because I hear his footsteps getting closer. Bye, I'll sign back in once he's taken care of.

Oh and, don't believe anything that I tell you next, I'm under some sort of magical spell so, your welcome.