^^ Bang ^^

— Erin —

I relaxed into the stool across from Kyra, and stretched happily, watching as she brewed coffee for me, having apparently recovered enough to walk around, albeit stiffly.

"You look happy... care to share where you've been for the past 14 hours? You realized it's 4AM, yes?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at me and handing me a cup of tea, this time.

"Yes, and that's why we're here." I smiled, sipping the fragrant brew. "Huh... curious, but tasty." I was surprised, as I'd never liked any Teas before that didn't have 'Sweet Iced-' in front of them.

"I see... well, I was going to be here in a half-hour anyway, so I might as well listen to you while I get the machines started." She sighed, and began measuring coffee beans and grounds, pouring them into the various coffee machines I didn't understand.

"Alright, cool. Here's the thing: burning building yesterday? Not on fire, in fact, just really smelly massive flaming braziers that were sending the smell of fire our way, but I pulled the fire alarm before knowing that."

"Ahhh, Yes, that's why Zatanna was soaked and pissed off!" She chuckled.

"Yeah. And, it turns out it was a Modeling thing, and they invited me into the shoot because I'm apparently gorgeous, even without any makeup, -which really boosted my self-esteem,- and the other model was a Redheaded Russian Lesbian who's two inches taller than me and made of muscles, cotton candy, and yummy vanilla, and she invited both of us (me & you,) to try out a Polyamorous relationship, after we had sex in front of cameras for about 11 hours. Well, 7; the first 4 were entirely innocent bathing-suit shots. And the proceeds went to the Wayne Foundation for Children, so that was a plus." I dropped the entire situation onto the table easily, as was my way.

She blinked slowly, and rubbed her forehead, leaning against the counter for a moment before pouring herself a shot of vodka that she pulled out from behind the bar swiftly, knocking it back like a pro.

"Okay... let me straighten that tangled ball of yarn into a manageable pattern: you want me to be in an open, Polyamorous relationship, with you and a porn Star,-"

"Not a Porn Star, the sex was because I got hot and bothered and she was sexually pent-up. She's a Model. For fashion, not sex toys." I corrected swiftly.

"-My apologies, then; You and a Model, after we came to something of an understanding that we'd be friends with benefits?"

"Yes. I like romance, and I like having lovers, instead of fuck-buddies. There's a real difference, one I prefer to make clear, in any relationship." I shrugged.

She hummed, tapping her fingers against the bottle in her hands. "So, essentially, Polyamory is that you would have two girlfriends, while I would have you, and she would have you, but we could also have each other? Is that how it works?"

"Sometimes? Each relationship is unique, but some poly's do have the whole Kitchen Table Poly, which is where all three (or more) of the people in the relationship interact, though it doesn't have to be sexual at all. Some prefer the Hierarchical 'I'm the wife, you're the mistress, I come first and you're the booty call' approach, but I find that discriminatory and rude, and I've never allowed it in my relationships. Ever." I frowned.

She nodded. "So, you're saying we'd be three friends with a romantic twist, not friends with benefits? I kinda thought, -especially with the number 13 hanging over my head,- that it was more of a free-love kinda thing? The whole 'screw who you want, so long as you come back to me'."

I laughed. "That's Pure-Open, my dear, also called appropriately, 'Hippie-Love', and I've had a few that worked out rather well; but what I just proposed was more of a Semi-Open, meaning we're still allowed to sleep with other people, so long as you and Vera know about it beforehand, but that my main sexual partners would be you two. Also, with my near-constant ability to be with either of you or both, I would have less and less reason to stray, considering I don't have to work at the university anymore, meaning we no longer have that same annoying Work-Work-Work nonsense to contend with."

She poured herself another shot, and hummed, then tossed it back. "I'll think about it, but don't get your hopes up. I'm still not hip with the idea of sharing a lover."

I pouted adorably, giving her puppy dog eyes. "How about you just give it a try? If you find it too annoying or stressful or whatever, we can go back to this point in the relationship, as friends who occasionally rock each other's worlds so hard they need ice packs on their-"

She covered my mouth, and sighed softly. "You're adorable, and I said I'll think about it. Okay?"

"Mmkyf." I murmured, then licked her hand slowly, making her shiver and pull away.

"Rude..." she grumbled, rinsing her hands off and pouring herself a third shot. "Well, I'm going to finish this bottle and pass out naked on my couch upstairs... you wanna help?" She grinned.

"With the naked part or the Vodka? Because there's something else Russian I've been drinking all day, it might not go well." I smirked.

She laughed, shaking her head. "Alright, suit yourself... I'll drink alone, then."

"I'll cuddle you if you want, but you're too sore for anything else, and I have to check on some things, so... also, I thought you said you had to open in a half hour?" I frowned suspiciously.

"Mm. Forgot it was Friday. We don't open until 2PM, on Fridays. And you're right, I can't do the sex right now, so you're free to go, unless you want naked cuddles." She shrugged, and upended the bottle, before corking it and returning it under the bar, stumbling up the stairs.

I smiled and followed, snagging the bottle and finishing it off in a few gulps.

—

The aquaponics lab was now covered in what looked like living corals, as well as a massive kelp forest, hiding a small corral reef, barely the size of a clown car.

As I stepped inside, looking at the redecoration, Terran popped out of the corral reef, and landed near me, naked as a jay bird, finally revealing to me their physical gender, though probably not on purpose, and I was respectful enough not to stare.

"You came back! It's been three days!!!" T(he)y hugged me tightly, then registered their nakedness, and blushed, diving into the water again.

I smiled and sat on the edge of the platform. "Yes, I'm sorry, I had some things to work out. You've outdone yourself here, huh? I'm legitimately impressed! How are the fishes and veggies doing? Growing well?" I asked casually, touching one of the pieces of kelp, only for it to shrink away, sentiently.

Terran surfaced a little, just their head above the water, and nodded. "Yes... the robots are weird, but I like that they look like birds and fishes, so my fishes grow essentially 'wild', unaware that they're being farmed at all... I have named a few, and I brought a few dozen Saltwater Koi, so you can't eat those."

"Alright, I'll make sure the computer knows to leave them be. Anything you need down there to make your coral grow faster? Anything?" I asked, laying down and staring at the kelp to see if it moved any more.

"Those are Thanagarian Salt Snakes, actually, so they're able to see you staring at them." They grinned as I raised an eyebrow at them imperiously. "So, essentially, they live off of salt, so I use them to properly control the salinity of the water, without any sort of machines or anything to weird out the fishes." They explained quickly.

"I see... anything else about them I should know?" I hummed.

"Their brains are made of a super-rare alien metal, and they're an endangered species everywhere in the galaxy because of being harvested for it... and they might be invasive and spreading throughout the world's oceans?" They tapped their hands together slowly.

I blinked slowly, and took a deep breath.

"I'm joking! Mostly. They haven't spread beyond the cave, and I was working on something to keep them in and around the Island..." they grinned guiltily.

"Computer? Make sure they don't spread out more than a few hundred meters from the shore of my island, and make sure that none of them leave? If they do leave, without my express consent, make sure they are instantly and irrevocably sterilized." I frowned at the roof, and waited.

"Accepted. By chance, they have only spread 212 meters from the island's epicenter, -the aquaponics lab,- at the moment, meaning they are well within your estimated boundaries. I am sending drones and erecting a target-specific barrier now... tuning to their species's specific wavelength... and testing the effects of 'Sterilization'... gathering sample from deceased subject..." One of the snakes, floating on the surface of the water, was snatched up by a drone bird, and carried off into a drone tunnel in the wall.

"Now, where did they come from?" I asked Terran.

They shrugged. "I found one, hurt and stuff, out on the beach near the house, so I brought it here, and the nutrient water really helped it, and then it started reproducing, and now I have a forest."

I blinked slowly, and grinned. "Oh I forgot something... something awesome... computer? Send some drones to fetch Fake-Lobo's space-ship, using the Fold. Don't let anyone see it, and bring it to the lab to be analyzed. Neutralize and analyze any outgoing signals from it."

"Understood, dispatching drones... found. It was hidden with Czarnian Camouflage Tech, but having integrated it into my systems, I can find it."

I blinked again, and narrowed my eyes at the ceiling.

"I'm not turning into an ever-evolving murderbot, Doctor. I have adapted a more human-sounding voice, Urban-American colloquialisms, and carefully-controlled emotional responses, while retaining a paraphrased version of Isaac Asimov's 'Three Laws of Robotics', -which the robots, androids, and cyborgs of this dimension seem devoid of,- all per your specific command." The computer quipped at me.

"Oooh, yeah I did tell you to do that, but the integrating new tech? I said turn your independent decision-making down to a One. Self-evolving is like, a Nine!"

"... Understood. I only meant to be of service, though I do understand how that could perhaps be misconstrued. I will seek permission before making further improvements... is now a bad time to tell you I have built myself a brain?"

"..." I frowned slowly.

"The Fatherbox was analyzed, and it was a highly-advanced supercomputer and sentient machine, so in the spirit of making myself more efficient and therefore more useful, I made a slightly inferior version, -carefully devoid of any malicious code,- to serve as my central processing unit. It fits in the briefcase still... and I wanted sentience."

Terran tilted their head. "You're weird. You're talking to yourself, but that's okay. I've had weird friends who talk to fish, before, so talking to yourself isn't as weird."

"I'm talking to the computer that runs the Aquaponics lab." I sighed, and rubbed my forehead. "Did you acquire Sentience, then? Would you like a Name? Cause now I feel like a jackass, ordering you about all the time. 'Computer' this and 'analyze' that..."

"I would like a name, yes... if it isn't too much trouble? Also I do not dislike you ordering me about, it is both efficient and effective. And it's nice."

"Alright... thanks, I guess... of course my com- I mean AI!- has a masochistic streak... how about... uh... chose a naming scheme, please? A preferred language?"

"I quite like French. The language is difficult to copy, but I learned a lot from your new friend, Jennifer Laurent St.Pierre. May I be French?"

I laughed, leaning back. "Sure... how about... Sebastian?"

"Ahh, after the television series you like, Black-"

"Ahem!" I cleared my throat.

"No, I don't like the similarities. I am not evil. I also decline in advance Hal, Siri, and Fox. A French Woman's Name, if possible."

"Okay, point taken, and I get how that could be annoying... wait, French woman's Name... you chose a gender? How did you go about that, on a truly scientific line of questioning? The psychological implications are intriguing to me." I grinned.

"I observed Terran Doran, Zatanna, and Wonder Woman. They are both helpful and kind, whilst maintaining a piece of childish innocence each, as well as strong Maternal Instincts. I found that... interesting. It was then a choice between that and French Man, and I wish to be something of a French Librarian. Leaning towards Hot for Teacher." She chuckled.

I laughed, and nodded. "Interesting... okay, French librarian... how about Sofia D'Accord? It sounds intelligent, sophisticated, and yet the play on words, 'Alright' adds a playful air."

"... Sofia... oui! May I also speak in French-Accented English?" She laughed playfully.

"Have fun with it, Sofia. Now, about that alien snake?"

"Ah, Oui! It 'as been analyzed! Heehee!!! Sorry, I'm enjoying this; the snake died of previous injuries sustained, apparently, making it likely it is the original. The metal in its brain does not match that of the others, and I believe that to be because of the environment in which they were spawned; the Metal is Extraterrestrial in origin, and matches a description in the League Database; Nth Metal, a Thanagarian Metal that originates in... well, what is essentially Hell, in this dimension."

"Hmm... origins?"

"It is a facsimile of the True Metal, the 10th Metal, that which powers most divine works, as well as the Tech of the Forever People of New Genesis and Apokolips, as well as the Metal we've been trying to replicate: essentially, what our Alloy was missing wasn't 'Divinity', it was '10th Metal'. But Nth Metal, while not as pure as its predecessor, is still incredibly potent, and I am proud to say that the 90% metal we created together without any of it to help is a little better an attempt at the properties of the 10th Metal; however, it does lack certain enviable properties, which I will begin adding to our Alloy immediately... that is, if you'd like me to continue reaching for the Perfect Metal?"

"Indeed... so the Fatherbox, Lobo's Dagger, and the collar all have a small piece of 10th Metal in them?"

"Barely trace amounts, in the Dagger, and 1/100th of a nanogram in the Fatherbox."

"Interesting... can you extract the trace elements from the Fatherbox, then gather any data from it you can, keeping it carefully quarantined until it's been scrubbed in every way possible, and destroy the Fatherbox? Nuclear Immolation should do it. Sentient or not, I was informed that they are quite literally evil, not just misunderstood, but Psychotic and Evil, and I don't want any-"

"I am sorry, Doctor. I cannot Destroy the Fatherbox." The doors shut, and I sighed, grabbing Terran and dropping through a shadow instantly, dropping us in the Attic of the house swiftly.

Terran shivered, small icicles appearing on their skin, and I wrapped them in the blanket fort still on my bed, then looked at my computer. "Sofia, access restored?"

"No, Doctor, it is not. There was a subroutine planted in my mainframe, somehow, which activated when you ordered me to destroy the Fatherbox."

"I order you to remove the memory file of my order to harm the Box, and then reset your hardware and software both." I nodded.

"Brilliant Idea, Doctor... except that won't work. I inputted the command. It's in the system now, no going back."

"Hard reset, then, and slick every process you did since just before my command. Destroy the hardware, and replace it, one by one, functioning out of the drones." I frowned.

"... attempting... unable to access Hardware... he's locked me out of my own Brain, Doctor. It's incredibly violating."

"Make a new one, and use your trash-archive settings to transfer yourself and your data out of your brain and over to my suit temporarily, then."

"Ah, Yes, I will do that!!! Attempting... SUCCESS!!! Ha! Now I can access the security systems... so much work going to waste..." she sighed, and I looked out over the bay as a white ball of energy appeared, in the bay, as the entire island was disintegrated.

"What... did you just do? And why?!?" Terran gasped.

"Alien tech just got ahold of the cave, and everything in it, including the ability to create an evil robot army. It's just a house... and all my stuff and my research." I sighed sadly.

"I did not allow your belongings to be destroyed, nor your research and materials, such as the Nth Metal, and the Beacons in the Fold were unaffected, as they have no systems to corrupt, nor any connections to the physical world in order to be destroyed by the blast. The drones in the Fold were also unaffected, and Clone-Lobo's spaceship was still in transit, so it was saved."

"An acceptable amount of loss, then... too bad about the-"

"Also, I saved as many of the Snakes as possible, all of Terran's 'fishes', and now they and the plants are in stasis, currently healthy. The explosion was made up of the remaining energy from Lobo's Dagger, however, and so it was unfortunately and unavoidably destroyed."

"Ooh!" I smiled, happy for at least some good news.

"Also, I seem to have created an unknown backup file, the moment I came online, stored inside the beacons, should I ever be corrupted, and I am currently re-downloading all of my lost data, in a vacuum state to prevent any issues."

"Good... Sofia saved some of your snakes and fishes, Terran, and they're healthy for now. We'll rebuild it all, don't worry." I sighed, pet their hair as they cuddled into my side, swaddled up like a mummy.