II. Incertitude
Light shone through the crystal-like window panes as the raven haired butler walked over to his master with a trolley, carrying the Earl's tea and biscuits. It was a bright morning, yet grey clouds abstracted the sky, wind clearly blowing, moving the branches on the trees ever so slowly. The breeze whistled as it passed through the small obstacles of nature against the window.
The young lord slowly opened his eyes, batting his lashes a few and sat up, wearily looking at his butler who was pouring his morning tea into his cup. He shivered at the contact with the cold air. Ciel inhaled deeply as the memories of the previous night flooded into his mind. Keeping from revealing any emotion, the child took the now filled cup of tea, "Orange Pekoe?"
"Yes."
Blowing slightly against the rim of the cup, the boy took a sip and watched as Sebastian placed a tray holding the breakfast of Ciel upon the nightstand. "I would rather prefer scones than poached salmon, Sebastian."
"You've been having scones for the past few days. If you eat scones every morning, you will not have enough energy to--"
"I did not ask you," the Guard Dog snapped, glaring at his servant, "Keep your opinions to yourself, dog."
With a bow of the head and a slight nod, the demon stood to his full height, "Yes, my Lord. I will bring you your desired breakfast within moments." With that, the ravenette left the room.
Glaring at the door as it shut, the boy slid out of bed and looked down at the salmon, lifting the fork. He poked the steaming meat twice before dropping the fork into the plate and standing up, walking over to the windows.
He doesn't love me.
The boy looked toward the trees, the brown leaves swaying in the wind, some piling against the pavement in the garden. Ciel felt his chest tighten as the thought ran through his head. He was feeling an emotion beyond sadness; he couldn't find himself shedding a tear. Instead, he felt hollow. Empty. Unable to show emotion. This is what his butler had done to him.
***
Making his way back to the earl's room, the butler found himself thinking over about the master's confession. Was he too harsh? Was he too soft? Should he not have said that? Should he have said that? Should he have said more?
He shook his head slightly, continuing to make his way to the Lord's study. With a knock on the door and a slight hum of consent from the younger, Sebastian opened the door and found Ciel standing by the window, looming over the sill. "I've brought your scones, my Lord," the butler called out.
Ciel turned to look at his servant, eyes lidded and heavy. "Leave them here. You're dismissed," he beckoned, not making eye contact. The butler bowed, making his way to the nightstand where he had placed the poached salmon and replacing the tray with that of the scones. Lifting the metal and turning toward the door, he heard his little master make a small sound of remorse. Not minding it, Sebastian left the room, glancing toward Ciel before shutting the door.
He made an attempt to eat it.
Sebastian looked at the clumsy placement of the fork on the Libertas Prussia china. He smiled slightly, noting the small gesture of solicitude. He continued his way toward the kitchen, carrying on with the rest of the chores for the day.
***
Lady Elizabeth had come to visit sometime around noon to visit the earl, agitating the manor greatly. The servants made an attempt to only appear when needed, failing as Finny had thrown yet another tree "accidentally" toward the Japanese gravel garden. Whilst the entrance was barricaded, the mistress decided that she would have to stay the night until the tree was moved. To prevent suspicions, Ciel had ordered Sebastian to have it cleared in the young couple's sleep. This only vexed the butler, realising the two would be sleeping in the same room.
Lady Elizabeth sat down with Ciel in his drawing room, requesting Sebastian to be present to serve sweets.
"I brought you an old photo album from when we were younger!" the blonde chimed, pulling a small book from a lacy pink tote bag. The album was also laced with blue coloured silk, with "PHANTOMHIVE RESIDENCE" printed on the white cover. She handed the album to Ciel, who opened it and turned to the first page.
"Where did you manage to find this?" the Lord inquired, admiring the picture of his parents and their dog.
"I was looking through the private library because I was simply bored! I found the book only because it was so unique in style! It didn't fit in with all those other books!" Elizabeth went on, leaning toward him as he looked an image of a younger Ciel asleep, "It looks like Aunt Rachel and Uncle Vincent really loved you."
Sebastian felt a small smirk tug at his lips when Ciel tensed at those words and shut the photo album. He looked over at Sebastian, eyeing the mint cake. Sebastian smiled and handed a small slice to the boy, admiring how relinquished crumbs fell into his lap.
"Really, Ciel? You shouldn't eat so many sweets!" his fiancée snatched the cake out of the Lord's hand, receiving a frown from both the butler and his master. "You don't want to end up in the same situation as Her Majesty, do you?"
"Why does it matter to you?" Ciel furrowed his brows, clearly disapproving her behaviour.
"I don't want people to look at you and think all you do is eat sweets!" She turned to Sebastian, "Don't let him eat so man--!"
"Elizabeth, it is none of your concern. Sebastian, give me another," Ciel demanded.
"Yes, my--"
"Sebastian! What did I just tell you?!" the blonde put the cake bit into her lap and placed her hands on her hips, turning slightly toward the butler.
"You are not his mistress. He is to only obey my commands and my orders," Ciel stood up, slamming the album to the ground. Lady Elizabeth widened her eyes in shock and before she could speak, Ciel trampled on the album. "Do you want to know what I think of my bloody family?! This! This is what I think! They loved me?! Ha! What a foolish assumption."
Sebastian's eyes widened as he looked at his young master tread upon the very thing that he should find dear. Lady Elizabeth seemed shocked, upset even, and she stood up. The cake fell to the floor as tears welled in her eyes, "I'll be waiting until you realise what you've done. They raised you, Ciel. They raised you!" She ran out of the room crying as her tote hit her sides whilst hanging from her elbow.
The door shut with a loud thud and Ciel looked at the door, his chest heaving. Sebastian looked over at his lord, amused. "You put on quite a show, my Lord," he remarked. Ciel looked at him with slightly widened eyes. "Shall we return to your study?" the butler questioned with a raised brow.
Ciel lifted the album, the cover now demolished and tattooed with marks and tears from his heel. He threw the album toward the table, turning to his butler and walking over to him. Sebastian raised a brow, his chest tightening and his heart racing as the Earl's hand reached up. He felt himself calm down when Ciel lifted a chocolate from the display of sweets, "Let's go." Sebastian nodded, pushing the display out of the room behind the Earl.
***
It was now past midnight and everyone had retired for the day, except for Sebastian of course. It was night and a candelabra was lit in the butler's room, light reflecting off of the glazed picture of a phoenix outside of the room in the halls and shone onto the butler as he stood beside the wardrobe.
Lady Elizabeth demanded to sleep in the young lord's room, despite their argument earlier. Sebastian was ordered to prepare another bed for the mistress in the very room. When it was claimed he was unable to because all the beds were occupied and ordering another one would be a waste, she slept alongside Ciel in his bed. The only separation between them was air and it vexed the demon to no boundaries.
Sebastian looked over into the mirror atop the dresser, noting his perturbed expression. He couldn't understand why it seemed to bother him that Lady Elizabeth came to visit, as well as why her sleeping with the Lord unsettled him. It was a certain tightening in his chest, perhaps heartache. It was quite unusual to the demon, as he had never felt such a sensation before. His eyes widened as he wrapped his head around what may be the reason. Before he could even assume such a doltish thing, he shook his head slightly and lifted the candelabra to make his way to the kitchen to prepare the next day's ingredients.
***
The next morning's midday snack would be cake. Sebastian was mixing the dry ingredients and measuring them so that he would be able to make a sufficient amount for Lady Elizabeth and the young master.
Prepare a lemon cake for the young master and be sure to make it the most exquisite for the endearing boy.
He dropped the metal bowl and repeated his words in his head. He was thinking of the benefit of the Earl alone and not just the young mistress. He bent down slowly and lifted the bowl from the ground, its contents still inside. For what had spilled, he walked to get the broom to sweep the dry ingredients.
The demon growled slightly, realising that these thoughts were associated with one little thing. His hatred of Lady Elizabeth's visit, her sleeping with the earl, and the thoughts of making things perfect for his endearing master. It all made sense and linked to that one feeling. He refused to admit it; he couldn't.
He looked down at the mixture of flour and sugar, beginning to sweep. "Is everything all right, Mr.Sebastian?! We heard a noise, yes we did!" Mey-Rin's clumsy voice called out. Sebastian looked up to see Finny and Mey-Rin standing by the entryway of the kitchen.
"Aren't you two supposed to be asleep?" Sebastian inquired, his tone raising. "Nothing is wrong. Go back to sleep," he ordered, his voice close to a yell.
"If you ever need help, just call for us!" Finny yelled, running back to his room. Mey-Rin smiled and followed behind him. Sebastian looked down and sighed, thinking it would be fine as long as they did not bother the earl's sleep so that he may wake up feeling better about his sleep.
Sebastian stopped in his work. He had thought of the young lord's feelings yet again. He put the broom down, leaning it against the counter. He placed his hand on his forehead, unable to come to accept his emotions. Each thought he came to, it was consistently related to the gaiety of the young master. Had the demon fallen in--?
It can't be.
He carried on with his work, neglecting any thought that he, a sophisticated demon butler, had fallen in love with his young human master. It was preposterous to him. Impossible. There was no way he had fallen in love with Ciel. The thought itself drove him to slight insanity. He could not love him. It was unacceptable.
Once finished with his work, the demon made his way to check on his master, stopping in his steps once hearing Lady Elizabeth's whispers. Leaning toward the door, the butler strained his ears and listened in.
Sebastian listened as he heard her sweep away the hair on the Lord's sleeping face. "Why must you have that dull thing on even in your sleep?" her voice inquired.
Ciel turned over in the bed, "Have you not fallen asleep yet?"
"Why are you still wearing that eyepatch? You should take it off at night!"
Ciel sat up and looked at her, "I'd rather not have you see what lies under this cloth." He placed his hand on the eyepatch, looking away from her.
Elizabeth also sat up, putting her hand on his shoulder. She smiled slightly, despite him not being able to see in the darkness, "I won't say anything about your eye. Even if it's been gouged out, Ciel. I don't care."
Ciel growled a bit, "Don't go spouting lies."
"I won't dare to leave you because of your eye. I love you, Ciel," the blonde furrowed her brows in an attempt to sound truthful.
The demon, on the other side of the door, felt his anger rising.
"I love you, too, Elizabeth. Now go to sleep. We mustn't argue over a futile topic," Ciel's voice responded, angering the butler more so. He placed his hand on the doorknob rather harshly, about to turn it. He stopped when he came to realise what he was doing. Backing away from the door, he put his hand on his mouth, his other hand shaking as he held the candelabra. The wax poured out from the base of the candles as the slight jittering of his hands continued.
He tightened his grip once the young lord appeared before him, glaring up at him with the door now open. "What are you doing at this hour?" The boy questioned.
"Is that Sebastian?" Elizabeth pulled the blanket over her neck, seemingly embarrassed.
"My apologies. I heard your voices and was curious as to who was still awake at this time," the butler casually answered.
The earl looked down at the demon's feet where wax had spilled. "Is that all or have you any other explanation?" the young master placed his hands on his hips, suspicions arising.
"That is all, my Lord. Please return to your bed and go to sleep. You have a busy day tomorrow," Sebastian reassured, smiling innocently.
Ciel dropped his hands with a sigh, "Very well. Good night, Sebastian." He made his way to his bed with Lady Elizabeth's mouth hanging in shock.
The butler took ahold of the door knob, "Good night, my lady. Good night, my Lord." He shut the door slowly, making sure he saw his master get under the covers. As the door clicked, the demon looked down at the wax that had spilled.
It would be better for the both of us to not be as close, else something unpleasant may happen.
He held onto the candelabra tightly, blowing out each candle and enveloping the halls in pitch darkness.
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