3rd person POV
Illumi in fact had nothing in mind at the moment. He considered demanding that  y/n marry him, but Illumi gazed upon her and Hisoka's murderous glare and he knew that they would surely kill him if he asked that, no matter who his family was or how powerful they were. Illumi also doubted whether or not he could win against both of them combined. Illumi and Hisoka were about matched for strength and y/n was probably as almost strong as them, if not stronger, but she lacked formal training. Illumi's thoughts went a mile a minute, as his brain calculated all of his possible options that would benefit him, but not get him killed. He was accustomed to working under pressure and this situation was no exception. He wondered what he could do to still spend time with y/n, regardless if she'd marry him or not. Illumi guessed (correctly)  that while y/n did not love him, but she most definitely enjoyed having sex with him. Illumi, as a mental manipulator knew much about psychology and he knew that for a woman, sex often (but not always) comes with an emotional attachment and releases hormones of pleasure, such as oxytocin. he also knew that during orgasm, the brain enters a trancelike state similar to when someone listens to music or dances. Illumi hoped that those moments with her was enough for her to grow fond of him, to some extent at least. He at this point accepted she loved and wanted Hisoka only, but while Illumi realized he could never marry her, he also realized he wanted, no- needed to have someone to process his life and emotions with, someone he could be loved by and trust. Before, he worked relentlessly to feel nothing besides his (toxic) love for Killua, and an unwavering allegiance to his family. But upon confessing his life story to y/n, and after having y/n pay attention to him as a person, rather than a just a weapon he found himself wanting to know what it was like to feel more deeply. He wanted them to participate on missions with him, but he figured Hisoka would purposefully sabotage them. That's when Illumi said, "y/n allow me to train you." She scoffed and said, "I already have a sensei, and you're not her."

At that point, none other than Elaine burst through the doorway. She was wearing a pink crop top that said, "party gurl" in bubble letters and she wore a short, neon blue skirt with expensive high-heeled red bottoms on. Her tan skin was gleaming with sweat, her naturally brown (but artificially bleached) rainbow-streaked hair was pulled into a low ponytail. She was on the short side but had a muscular, yet distinctly feminine build. She looked unnaturally beautiful to most, but to Illumi she looked like a completely classless hot mess. Her oddly bright blue eyes coupled with her dark skin tone made her look ethnically ambiguous. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Hisoka. She lunged for Hisoka with her aura blasting out anger and bloodlust. At that point, y/n jumped in front of Hisoka and said quickly and frantically, "Not Hisoka's fault, he was being forced to hurt me by that manipulator." Y/n pointed directly at Illumi, smiling and Illumi's eyes widened as Elaine descended upon him.

Before Illumi could jump out the way, Elaine, with lightening speed punched him hard with an uppercut to the chin. Illumi reeled back and used his uninjured arm to punch her in the gut. She twisted out the way and his fist connected with her outer ribs. Illumi was about to attack again when the aura around her changed into a multicolored blurry mess, and she used some type of transmuter attack to change the shape of her aura to wrap around Illumi's eyes and mind. Illumi immediately felt dizzy, and the world became overwhelmingly blurry. He tried to push the feeling away and swing to attack her but it felt like he was moving through molasses. Elaine punched him in the gut as he struggled to regain his balance and the hit from her was so forecful and full of sheer rage it made him cough up blood. It probably would've killed a lesser nen user. As Illumi fell to the ground, against his will he began to laugh deliriously as the world around him melted into some kind of multicolored dream world and he began to hallucinate little pugs with wings flying around a spinning room. Illumi kept laughing and dimly wondered what she had done to him when his consciousness melted into the sticky dreamworld he was surrounded by.

Your POVm
You Looked at Elaine panting and standing over a now passed out Illumi. In this moment you loved her so much and you ran to tackle her in a bear hug. She stumbled at the impact and said, "it's really good to see you too." You buried her face into her chest, and whispered a gentle, "thank you. Please don't leave me." She said with a strained laugh, "Hey don't worry about that. I can't leave you two alone for leave 5 fucking minutes or you'll go start some trouble? You crazy fucking kids." In reality, she was 26 but she always called Hisoka and you kids. It annoyed Hisoka to no end but you didn't mind, she was like your mom after all. Well, more like a cool aunt but still. While still hugging you she stared daggers at Hisoka and gave him a the middle finger. He laughed and said, "Elaine, why do you appear to be more drunk than usual?" Elaine pulled away from you and pointed to a laughing and incapacitated Illumi and said, "that could've been you." Hisoka opened his mouth to reply with a snide remark when y/n interrupted.

I said, "Elaine thank you so much for coming! How did you get here so fast? I text you like 45 minutes ago." She said, "boy was it hard, but I got Kite to hook me up." My eyes widened- did she mean the Kite that always hooked her up with easy, yet profitable missions, the Kite, the 'skinny legend' she never shut up about wanting to marry? I said, "what, how did you get Kite-" she just winked and pulled off her heel and was about to stab Illumi in the jugular and I said frantically, "wait! He's a Zoldyck." She frowned deeply and lowered her heel. Hisoka just crossed his muscled arms and stared at Elaine. She said absentmindedly, "well fuck me in the asshole with no lube and call me an altar boy." I shook my head at her totally inappropriate remark and Hisoka cracked a small amused smile. She said, "well if we kill him, Silva will probably come for us, I don't know if I could take down snake-eyes. If Silva's dad is with him, and we all fought them, 3 to 2 I think we'd have a 30% chance of winning on a very, very good day. Hmmmm. Not good, not good. Nope." She looked up at me and Hisoka and said, "we either kill him and be on the run for our whole lives or we figure out some way to keep him away from us." I inwardly cringed and piped up saying, "he went on about wanting to marry me but he said he'd settle for being my sensei and training me. He didn't really say for how long, we didn't really work out the details." Elaine dropped her heel and said, "I'm your sensei." I sighed and said, "that's what I told him but-". I was interrupted by a voice on the intercom that said, "Attention examinees, we have 15 minutes remaining until the last phase begins. Attention examinees, I repeat 15 minutes remaining until we dock". Elaine put her shoe back on and I questioned, "how long will he be out?". A bead of sweat dropped down her forehead and she said, "his mind is really tough to hold on to. I could go for 30 more minutes but I'd rather not. I think I can manage 15 more minutes without having to throw up and faint afterwards." Hisoka piped up and purred, "well my dears, well then what the fuck do we do with the filthy bastard?"

I thought aloud, "well what does he want?" Hisoka glared at me and said, "you." I said thoughtfully, "no, he wants the version of me that he can control. He wants all the soft, understanding parts of me without the strong parts." Elaine said under her breath, "he sounds like an absolute dick." Hisoka had forgiven me but he still was by no means ready to let me forget and he said, "well y/n would seem to know all about is dick. Wouldn't you Love?" Hisoka smiled like a high school mean girl and I blushed intensely. I said, "I had to do it to save you, dumbass." Hisoka just smiled and make a V with his fingers and he left his tongue hang through it. I was really upset that he was teasing me after I did that to save him. I was literally pulling out some super-spy manipulation shit to save his ass, (as well as my own) and all he could do was mock me after he said he forgave me. I knew he was trying to rile me up, and it was working, I clenched my fists and I was about to attack him and Elaine said seriously, "what did Hisoka mean, you knew all about Illumi's dick?" I scrunched up my face in embarrassment and I explained, "well after Illumi put a pin in Hisoka and make him injure me. My friend Leorio bandaged me up and Illumi came and took me away from Hisoka, and at the time I didn't really want to be around Hisoka so I left with Illumi." I looked away from Hisoka and focused on Elaine and said, "eventually I realized what Illumi had done and I tried to get him to let me go to say 'goodbye' to Hisoka. I needed an excuse to go but he wouldn't let me. I didn't know if Illumi would ever let me out of his sight again and I didn't know if I could get to Hisoka after the exam. So I figured if I let my first time be with him, he'd feel I chose him, and he'd be comforted. Then, he would be placated, and he wouldn't hesitate fall asleep after sex because he'd be more focused on me and my first time being with him rather than me trying to save the one I actually loved." I looked over to Hisoka then looked down sheepishly and said, "but I mean i didn't like it, but it worked..." Elaine said sympathetically, "oh y/n I'm so sorry that you had to do that. That your first time was under such horrible circumstances." She took my hand and motioned to my slightly trembling legs and whispered, "did it hurt? Are you ok?" I nodded and looked down. I knew I could tell her the truth and I really needed to get it all off my chest so said i her , "it's ok, he-he was gentle at first. But yeah it really hurt, he was a lot to fit, and it felt really weird,- and full like I was being stretched out." In a small voice I said, "but it felt good, really fucking good like I was exploding with pleasure." Hisoka growled and I remembered he was here and it wasn't just me and Elaine having girl talk like we do. I was about to apologize and Hisoka said angrily to no one, "it should've been me, that should've been me." Elaine looked conflicted at how to comfort both of us and fix the situation. Hisoka continued, "I should've fucked you last night. I should've..." I went over to him and hugged him gently, and I whispered, "it may not have worked it you got to me first. He needed to believe every single lie I told him about wanting him. Hisoka I won't lie to you. It felt so fucking good, and I let myself enjoy it because I knew in order to get to you, he had to believe I loved him. He had to see me genuinely happy, he had to see me enjoy it. But I don't love him and I don't want him ever again. I want to marry you, remember?" I pulled out of our hug and elbowed him and said, "for better or for worse, heh." I had finally realized that after all our years together and after all we've been through together (both way before and during the Hunter Exam) I knew in my heart that I loved him as so much more than a best friend and I wanted to be his forever. He just smirked and pat my head in response. I scoffed, offended at such a dismissive gesture, but Elaine interjected and said, "ok so we're running out of time and he's really hard to hold on to, so I'm going to let him go." I said, "no, wait, we need to figure out a deal!" Elaine had already lifted her aura from his consciousness and shrugged and said, "I was getting tired and you two lovebirds could go at it all day. Plus, my back hurts. You'll have to fix that shit later." I rolled my eyes as Illumi started to regain sanity. I threw my hands into the air and I said gesturing to her incredibly high heels, "your back hurts because you wear those!" Usually, it took people a while to recover from Elaine's 'Molly' nen ability so we kept bickering and Hisoka stood there examining his nails and without looking up he said boredly, "Ladies, it seems he's fully with us now." Elaine and I stopped talking as we turned to Illumi and watch him stand up. He looked at Elaine with disgust and said, "what was that?" Elaine just pinched her nose and looked at me and Hisoka with the same look of disgust he had given her. She said, "do you guys smell that?" Hisoka loved her games and said entertained, "what is it that I smell, Elaine?" She said, looking back at Illumi, "I smell a cock-sucking, patriarchal, un-woke, rat that forgot to change his lace panties after he wet them at the mere sight of a strong, independent woman. Illumi, do your balls shrivel up when you see a powerful woman? Is your dick only big when people submit to your control? Guys, It smells like the fucking 1600s in here. Tell me, Zoldyck, to do think woman should have the right to vote or is their only place under you and in the kitchen?" I chuckled at Elaine and I felt some pride at how she defended me and addressed Illumi's character traits so accurately, despite knowing him for only a few minutes. Hisoka nodded in approval and his eyes shone with amusement and pride at her words. Illumi said nothing, ignoring her and he looked at me and said, "so y/n, am I your sensei?" I gestured to Elaine and said, "Illumi there has to be something else. I already have a sensei, and she's standing right here". I saw the surprise and cross his face and remembering how he dared to call Hisoka a street rat in my presence, before he could say anything more I said, "watch your fucking mouth, Illumi." He closed his mouth and stared at me. I said, "are there any other options for a deal? Any reasonable options?" He thought and said, "spend one week with me each month." I scoffed and said, "a week? How about one weekend a month? Like Saturday and Sunday." I quickly added, "and no sex, or talk of love or marriage or anything. I'll be like your therapist and friend on loan for those two days and that's it, ok? How does that sound?" Elaine jumped in before Hisoka could and she said, "and you pay all three of us." Illumi said, "add in Friday and how much?" I blurted, " 10 million for me per month". Hisoka shook his hand and said calmly while gesturing gently with his hand, "Love, your presence is worth more than that. At the very least 10 million per day." Elaine said, "yeah ok, y/n gets 3 million a month and Hisoka and I get 20 million per month." I said "ok", then realized they wanted to get paid too. I whipped my head around and said, "wait, why the hell are you guys getting paid? I'm the one doing all the work here!" Hisoka said, "Love, I need to be compensated for being without you" and Elaine said, "well, I'm the one who raised you, trained you, and made you into the bad bitch you are today so I think I deserve some of the cut. You're lucky I'm not asking for more, kid." I said exasperated, "fine, whatever" and I turned to Illumi. I added, "also, you have to come to me for the three days wherever I am and give me a months notice before you show up each time. And we both get to choose what weekend we meet per month" I added, "remember no sex, no love, no talk of marriage. I won't bear your children either. I'll pretend to be your friend/ therapist during that time. Also, I'll be allowed to marry and love whoever I want." He nodded and said, "yes, I agree. I will contact my lawyer to draw up a formal and binding contract and all of these conditions will be met." I grimaced and wondered if we needed a lawyer to look through the contract and make sure there were no weird loopholes. I glanced back to Hisoka with a questioning glance in my eyes. He nodded and winked like he understood my question and had a solution. I breathed a sigh of relief. God, I loved him. I so took for granted his readiness for just about any situation before. Elaine interrupted my thoughts and she said, "exactly how long will this contract last?" Illumi thought a for bit and said, "Indefinitely." I gasped and grabbed Hisoka's warm, pale, hand. That's when I said, "maybe we should just kill him".

To that Illumi responded, like he had expected that reaction and he said evenly, "what will you do when Silva hears of my death? Or perhaps my grandfather finds out? What about Killua? Are you really doing to take his older brother away from him? What will you do when Killua grows up and hunts you down to kill you?" My heart stopped. He was Killua's older brother? "What about Killua's little friend Gon? What happens when Gon hears you're a murderer? Do you suppose he'll hunt you down when he gets older too?" He made a fair point about the rest of the Zoldycks coming for revenge and I had no idea Killua was a Zoldyck, but as I thought back to him and the eternally dark look behind his blue eyes, I realized it made sense. I looked at Hisoka in question and he said calmly, "y/n let's kill him, he deserves to die." Hisoka licked his lips and looked at me, pleading for me to agree to kill him. I looked back at Illumi and I was so angry at him for using his family's power and status to protect him, for using my conscience and care for Gon and Killua to guilt trip me. I was so angry with Illumi for once again bullying me using his power and wealth. He didn't need to put a pin in my head to manipulate me, he was doing just fine on his own. He had made really good points about why we shouldn't kill him. I looked over at Elaine and she wore a rare expression I don't usually on her face often: defeat. That's when I knew that this was a decent deal, considering all the options. She just nodded at me sympathetically and I sighed and said, "fine." Hisoka then strode forward and handed Ilumi a card and he said cooly "contact her when the first draft of the contract has been drafted, so we may edit it and negotiate." At that Hisoka wordlessly grabbed my hand and I savored the feeling of his smooth skin and sharp manicured nails brushing against my hand. As he led us out I grabbed Elaine's hand and like a train of really deadly kindergarteners we filed out of the room hand in hand in hand.

We emerged off the boat and I let go of Elaine's hand but kept my death grip on Hisoka's. Illumi was close behind, but he had put his pins in again to alter his identity. When the few examinees left filed off the boat, the old man that had made himself known to us earlier reminded us that he was Netero, the chairman of the Hunter's Association, etc. Elaine hovered next to me and Netero said looking directly at her, " I kindly request all those who are not designated staff, examinees, or examiners to leave at this time." Elaine hugged and whispered to me, " I'll be staying in the nearest Ritz Carlton hotel, wherever that is.So, text me when you guys are hunters and we'll talk. I need some help with a job after this." I nodded and Hisoka ignored her but I knew he heard her. She smiled brightly at the old man and handed him her card and winked. He just chuckled and pocketed the card as Elaine's shoes loudly clacked away on the tile and out of the compound. Netero said amused, "how interesting." Then he continued to explain the conditions of the final phase.