I'm panicking!

Why? Where are you?

At my brother's. There are so many people here.

I know. It's a party, there's always people at a party.

I know but I just. . .

I don't know. I just don't feel okay right now.

Actually I feel kind of sick.

Would it help if you heard my voice?

No. No, I need to be alone right now. I just want to be somewhere quiet so I can close my eyes and try and breathe.

Tell me something.

Like what?

Anything.

I bought your album today.

Yeah? Which one?

Locked Away.

Oh, I wrote a lot of those songs.

I know. I cried, Harry.

Yeah? I'm sorry.

Don't be.

You think I'm any good?

The best. Your voice is amazing.

Thanks..

Is that not making you feel better?

No. No, my stomach is killing me.

Were you drinking?

I didn't even get through half a beer, it made my stomach hurt worse.

What did you and your brother talk about?

Nothing really. He told me he was sorry he hurt me, said he didn't plan to fall in love with Ella. Said that he even tried to stay away from her.

You make up?

He kept apologizing, told me if he could go back and not meet her, he might. I told him that's ridiculous. I'm not mad anymore, I was just hurt he would do that to me.

But are you guys cool now?

Yeah I think so. He hugged me which was weird because we haven't hugged since we were seventeen.

That's good then. :)

Yeah

I feel really sick, Sadie.

Where are you?

My brother's guest room. It's quiet in here, I needed to get away.

So why do you feel gross?

I don't know. I thought it was just my anxiety, and last night I had that panic attack. I don't know now.

You think you're sick?

Harry?

I'm at the party, Harry.

Sadie frowned, knitting her eyebrows as she didn't get a response. She looked up, searching the room, but didn't see him.

"I've been drinking, Harry." Hayden's voice cut across the room.

"Please bring me home, Hay, I don't feel good."

Sadie froze, recognizing Harry's voice.

"Harry, I told you, I can't drive you. It's just your nerves, Harry." Hayden was saying. "What is it that helps you nowadays? What can I do?"

Sadie heard silence from them, and she frowned.

"Harry? I want to help you, man, what can I do?" Hayden repeated.

Sadie searched the room again, finally landing on the back of Hayden's head just in time to see another brown haired man stumble out of the room, and she pushed through several small groups of people to follow him.

As she went down the hallway, she was met with the sounds of retching, and pushed open a door that evidentally led to the bathroom.

Harry was crouched down in front of the toilet, throwing up the beer he had consumed.

Sadie wasn't always good with puke. Obviously, it was disgusting--both witnessing it and having it happen to you--but she didn't want to leave him alone.

Harry gagged and threw up again, and this time Sadie stepped into the bathroom, shut the door and knelt beside him. At first he didn't seem to notice her, most likely because he was too busy working on getting his breakfast up, and she put her hand on his back to let him know he wasn't by himself.

"S-S-Sa--" Harry tried to say her name, and he tried hard, but he was cut off by another wave of nausea that had him leaning over the toilet.

"Yeah it's me, you're not dreaming." Sadie smiled sadly and rubbed her hand up and down his back. "You're alright, don't panic."

Unfortunately, Harry was way past that, because he was already crying. Crying only made his stomach hurt worse, and that made the nausea stronger, so of course he had to vomit again. Sadie's hand wasn't helping either, but he couldn't catch a break to tell her.

"It's alright, you're almost done." Sadie said softly a few minutes later. "You're okay, in a minute you'll be alright."

Harry retched loudly and hid his head, and Sadie grimaced as she heard him threw up again, feeling his muscles jump under her hand. He threw up twice more and lifted his head slowly, using the sleeve if his jacket to wipe his mouth.

"Ew, that's so unsanitary." Sadie scolded, proceeding to tear his plaid shirt off and drop it on the floor, an action so unexpected that it jolted his stomach and sent the poor guy lunging for the bowl again.

"Sorry," Sadie said weakly, rubbing his bare back again.

"Hand," Harry croaked as he gagged.

"What?"

"Don't do that," he coughed, feeling bile rising up his throat.

"Don't do what?"

"Your hand, move your hand!"

"Oh," Sadie finally realized what he was saying and moved her hand, something visibly relaxed him.

Harry threw up the last of his stomach, grabbed his shirt to wipe his face again, and flushed the toilet.

He took several shaky breaths, visibly upset, then buried his face in his knees.

"Um . . . Are you okay?" Sadie asked dumbly. Of course he wasn't okay. "I'm sorry I made it worse. I always make it worse."

Harry shook his head weakly and looked up at her. "I'm sorry, I know you were trying to help. Ever since I was a kid, that always made it worse."

"I'm sorry,"

"No, you didn't know, don't apologize. I'm sorry you had to see that, this wasn't how I pictured our first meeting would go."

Sadie laughed. "Yeah, neither did I. I was picturing some nice park somewhere, maybe a bench and some ice cream."

Harry made a face, and Sadie recalled him saying that dairy didn't agree with him. "Okay then," she said. "Maybe some Italian ice."

Harry laughed weakly and nodded. "We'll do that sometime."

"Yeah?"

Harry nodded his head, and Sadie got her first look at how bad he really looked. His face was a chalky shade of white, lips colorless, cheeks flushed, and there were dark circles under his eyes; he was trembling, a light sheen of sweat on his face and his eyes glassy.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again, his voice hoarse, throat a mess from so much vomiting.

"You feel pretty bad, hmm?" Sadie frowned when he nodded. "It must have gotten bad pretty recently--I can't imagine you coming if you felt this awful."

"I felt bad all day, but I just figured it was nerves, you know? And I always feel weird after a panic attack like last night's." Harry explained croakily. "I didn't realize that I was actually sick until after I got here. I was d-drinking beer when I started getting nauseous and then I st-started texting you."

"Yeah. Beer probably wasn't the way to go." Sadie rolled her eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Harry cleared his throat and scooted closer to her, gratefully leaning into her offered warmth and letting her wrap her arms around his body.

"I'm r-really cold." He shivered.

Sadie rubbed up and down his arms as he shook. "Yeah, sorry I took your flannel, but that was gross."

"D-don't w-worry about it," Harry breathed out a laugh. "I-it w-wasn't my l-leather j-jacket. That's wh-what I'd have b-been m-mad ab-bout. M-my t-teeth won't st-stop ch-chatt-tt-ttering."

Sadie knit her eyebrows together and felt his forehead. "You're boiling, Harry. You must have picked up a bug somewhere."

"W-wanna go home." He mumbled.

"I know, but--"

"M-motorc-cycle."

"What?"

"I . . . I h-have m-motorc-cycle." Harry stuttered. "It's r-really c-cool, it's g-got a l-little fl-flame painted on it. It was J-Jordan's."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Jus' wan' 'o." He shrugged weakly.

There was a knock at the door then, and when there was no answer it opened, revealing the worried face of Hayden.

"What's going on?" He asked, biting his lip.

"He's sick," Sadie sighed.

"'M gon' be sick." Harry mumble, struggling to get to his knees.

Sadie helped him up and kept a hand at his waist as he started to gag over the toilet, and she heard Hayden enter and shut the door as Harry started to vomit.

Hayden placed a hand on Sadie's shoulder, wordlessly asking her to switch positions with him.

"You shouldn't have to deal with this," he whispered. "Go on, you can find Eli and maybe--"

"No, it's okay, he's my friend, I want to help."

"You guys know each other?"

"She has Elle's old number," Harry croaked, his voice echoing in the toilet bowl that his head was currently down. "We've been talkin' for awhile."

Hayden blinked and turned to Sadie as his brother threw up again. "Really?"

Sadie nodded.

"What has he told you?"

"A lot of stuff."

"And you're okay with it?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Just checking." Hayden placed a hand at the nape of Harry's neck. "Harry, come on kiddo, you gotta breathe."

Harry coughed and threw up again, then lifted his head to glare at his brother. "We're twins, dumbass."

"Yeah but you're the kiddo, because I'm the older twin."

Harry's 'I-don't-give-a-fuck' face was on point.

"I'll laugh about it later," he grumbled. "Maybe when I'm not hurling in your bathroom."

Hayden winced and flushed the toilet. "You think you're good to move now? We can get you to the guest room."

"It hurts," Harry croaked, throat completely raw.

"I know, Harry." Hayden sighed and squeezed his brother's shoulders. "I'm sorry."

Harry choked on a sob and turned around, throwing his arms around Hayden and burying his face.

Sadie blinked, almost as surprised as Hayden looked.

"Aw, come on, Harry, what's wrong? You haven't been this clingy in a long time."

"My belly hurts," Harry whispered.

"You haven't said that in a long time either." Hayden bit his lip and rubbed the back of Harry's neck. "It hurts bad, huh?"

"Mm-hmm," Harry nodded weakly. "My head hurts really bad, Hayde, I don't like it."

Sadie blinked upon hearing the nickname.

"Why am I crying?" Harry sniffled. "I don't want to!"

"You've got a bad fever, buddy, that's why." Hayden sighed. "Come on, are you done in here?"

"I don't know," Harry moaned.

"Still nauseous?"

"Very,"

"How about we--" Hayden broke off as Harry gagged, and he moved his brother over the toilet, taking care to brush his hair back off his sweaty forehead. "It's alright, kid, it'll be okay in a minute. I know you don't like it but in a couple minutes we'll have you nice and warm in bed, yeah? And we'll set up the TV, get Dumbo on? You're never too old for that one!"

Harry laughed weakly, effectively causing him to gag and hide his head again. Hayden seemed more than accustomed to this scenario, and kept his hand on Harry's neck, the other at his waist.

"One more time, Harry, yeah? You remember how this works, buddy. I'm right behind you, you're not alone."

Hayden didn't stop talking until Harry's body relaxed and he lifted his head from the toilet.

"I can't believe you remember this stuff." He croaked before Hayden took some tissue and wiped his mouth for him, flushing the toilet.

"We're twins, Harry, we spent our whole lives looking after each other. I know everything about you." Hayden sighed, rubbing his face with his hand. "I care about you, Harry, I never stopped caring. I made a mistake, but I didn't forget."

Harry swallowed hard. "I know."

"Remember what stuff?" Sadie asked, clueless.

"He doesn't like being alone when he's sick," Hayden said.

"Hayden always stayed with me," Harry croaked. "Mama never did."

"Putting your hand on his back upsets his stomach more, put it on the neck it relaxes him. Keep your hand on his waist, makes him feel steadier." Hayden explained. "You talk to him so he has something to focus on."

Sadie hesitated, then nodded, unsure why they felt the need to explain.

"Thank you," Harry croaked to her. His eyes were glazed over, and he was shaking. "For coming to help me. You d-didn't have to."

"But I wanted to." Sadie smiled. "Did you know I was here?"

"Only when you texted me. I would have texted back, but. . ." Harry gestured helplessly towards the toilet.

"I'm glad I was here,"

"Yeah, me too."

"You done in here, Harry?" Hayden asked.

Harry nodded and curled up, burying his face in his brother's shirt. "I don't feel good, Hayde."

"I know, Harry." Hayden sighed. "I'm sorry, I really thought it was your nerves."

"I know," Harry shuddered violently, and it was evident the fever had risen.

"Come on, let's get you up, get you to bed. We'll get some medicine into you, okay?"

"Mkay," Harry mumbled, falling asleep where he was on the floor.

Hayden glanced up at Sadie, and she moved to help him up, slinging one of Harry's arms around her shoulders and the other around his.

"Mmm," Harry groaned at the sudden movement. "Can't move."

"I know, buddy, we're gonna move for you." Hayden said calmly. "Don't worry about it, we've got you. I got you."

"Y' always go' me." Harry mumbled. "Y' al'ay' g' m'."

Sadie glanced at Hayden, worried about Harry, but Hayden was good at keeping his emotions in check, and showed nothing on his face as they dragged Harry down the hall.

"M' dizzy." Harry mumbled. "Ev'in spinnin'."

"We'll set you down now, okay? The bed's right here, nice and comfy."

They eased Harry onto the bed, where he lay motionless except for the now-constant shivering. Hayden left for a moment, coming back with a bucket holding a small arsenal of supplies.

"Unnngh." he groaned. "Feel bad. Really bad."

"Harry, are you gonna be sick?" Hayden asked, sounding concerned now as he set different objects on the bedside table.

"Mhm," Harry groaned. "Too mu' mo'ing, 'oo much spin'g."

Hayden rolled Harry onto his back and sat him up, holding the bucket for him. Sadie closed the door as Harry started gagging and practically shoved his head in the bucket.

"You're alright, try and breathe." Hayden said calmly. "You're worked up because you're sick, and that's not helping. There's nothing left for you to bring up now, Harry, you're okay."

Harry was breathing hard, partly from trying to throw up something that wasn't there and partly because he was crying, the start of a fever-induced panic attack.

Harry lifted his head, sobbing. "Hurts,"

"I know it hurts, Harry, I wish I could do something about it." Hayden was visibly upset now. "Tell me what to do, bro, I can only do so much on my own."

Harry was starting to wheeze. "Can' breathe."

Hayden dug through Harry's jeans pocket until he retrieved a small inhaler, and he eased it between his brother's teeth. A few moments later Harry sucked air in greedily, still crying.

"I wan' mama." Harry whimpered.

Sadie shivered as an icy feeling washed over her. She knew it was nothing more than a stomach virus, but she had never seen somebody so sick before, and it felt worse because it was Harry.

"I know," Hayden said. "But you got me. Am I good enough? I'll take care of you."

"You always take care of me, real well." Harry said hoarsely. "I love you for that."

"I love you too, kiddo."

"'M not a kiddo." Harry said, snuggling into his brother.

"How about we lay you down now?" Hayden asked softly, stroking his brother's hair. "There's lots of cool pillows here."

"Wan' you, you're my pillow. You're a good pillow."

"I'm warmer than the pillows."

"You're fine," Harry mumbled weakly. "You're safe. You protect me."

"Would you like Sadie to stay for a little?" Hayden asked, glancing at Sadie out of the corner of his eye.

Harry nodded weakly. "Wan' Sadie. Sadie's good."

Hayden squirmed out of Harry's grip and laid him down on the pillows as Sadie came over.

"Hi," she said softly, lying down next to him but not too close.

"Hi," he gave her a tired smile.

"By any chance on your way here did you cut off a blue pickup?"

Harry blinked. "That was you?"

"Yeah, you jerk."

Harry smiled softly, looking horrible. "I'm sorry. My friend and I were racing."

"In traffic? What friend, why weren't you talking to him instead of texting me?"

"Because he left an hour ago. Besides, he's not pretty like you." Harry blinked slowly, then reached out a hand to touch her face. "You're gorgeous."

"Thank you, handsome." Sadie giggled, brushing some of his damp hair off his sweat-beaded forehead. "Now, how about you close your eyes and get some sleep?"

"Will you be here when I wake up, Muffin?" Harry asked.

"Muffin?" Hayden asked.

"Yes, Buttercup." Sadie promised.

"Buttercup?"

"I want you to be here when I wake up." Harry whispered.

"I'll be here."

"You promise?"

"Promise."