It is Monday morning. I feel a little better but still stressed. I get up and get dressed. I don't even bother to put on makeup since I don't think it is gonna cover much. I will just say something, I don't even care anymore really. 

I was now standing in front of the RC and was slowly walking inside. I was really not feeling well about this whole situation but I just put on a smile and want in. 

A lot of people looked at me and I could see their eyes when they saw my face. I just smiled so they would think it was an accident or something. A couple of them wanted to aks but before they got the chance I just said,

˝Don't aks,˝ as I smiled at them. They slowly smiled too. Then they mostly just asked, you okay? How are you feeling?.... To which I just said I was okay.  

When I got to the OT main room there weren't too many people there thank god, Alex came up to me and I did the same thing,

˝don't ask,˝ and I laugh.

˝Honey, you okay? What happened?˝ she asks anyway. 

˝Oh nothing a little accident, but it isn't anything serious it looks worse than it is,˝ I say trying to reassure her. 

˝Are you sure, I mean If there is anything going on you could always tell me...˝ she says, and I wonder if I should tell someone. But in the end, always decide I don't want people to know. 

˝ No Alex everything is okay, thank you for caring,˝ I say and offer a smile. 

She looks at me and I can see pity in her eyes.  But I am happy that she lets it go. 

˝Why don't you do some paperwork today?˝ She says and I am so grateful to her. As I am not in the mood for patients especially Ethan. 

After about 3 hours of paperwork, I decide it is time for a break. I go buy myself some lunch and then head to the indoor garden. 

I run into an Elderly gentleman that I was supposed to have a session today. When he saw me he gasped and ask a lot of questions. I told him it was an accident and he shouldn't worry. 

He then walked / well rolled with his wheelchair with me to the garden.  I asked him how putting on his pants is progressing since that is what we are working on... He said he is getting there and can't wait for our next session.

I was so happy that he was so eager to participate. It made me feel a little better and I told him we will see each other tomorrow. He was happy and then he wished me a good lunch and left.

I was now sitting in the garden and eating my lunch, looking down at my phone. When I felt a presence sit down opposite me. I didn't lookup. Right now my hair was covering my face so it wasn't visible.

˝So are you going to ignore me?˝ he says and it is Ethan.

˝Not really why you say that?˝ I try to act normal.

˝You didn't come this morning...˝ he says and there is a little bit of disappointment and regret in his voice. I don't look at him, not wanting for him to see me like this.

˝I had to do some paperwork..˝ I say scrolling tru my Facebook page. And there was an awkward silence.

I would usually try to make conversation but I just wanted him to leave me alone today. Like he usually does. 

˝Look I didn't mean to be rude at the party I just didn't want you to be there and them knowing you are taking care of me...˝ He said and it made me feel for him. I mean we all have things we want to hide. I just hurt I am something someone is ashamed of.

˝That is okay, thank you for being honest..˝ I say and I can feel him looking at me.

˝Why won't you even look at me it isn't polite to not look at someone when he is talking to you!˝ He says and I can hear he is getting annoyed at me for not looking at him.

I start to gather my stuff  I know I will have to look at him, I just want to be ready to run away as soon as possible. 

I lift my head and our eyes meet. 

His eyes go from annoyed to confuse. His eyebrows fold together and he is looking al over my face and then his eyes are getting lover, I can feel him inspecting my body and I feel really uncomfortable. 

˝What happen to you?˝ He says and his voice is low and carrying an unknown emotion. 

˝ Nothing it was just an accident,˝ I say now not really looking at his eyes. I feel embarrassment.

˝Bullshit, did someone accidentally grab you so hard it left a mark in the shape of a palms-on your arms?˝ He says in his low voice with anger. Why is he angry? I didn't even know I had masks on my arms...  Did anyone else see this... Fuck...

I didn't know what to say. I put on my thin jacket to cover my arms. 

˝Look it is nothing don't worry about it,˝ I say in my reassuring voice, looking him straight in the eyes. 

I start to walk away when he grabs my arm and turns me around to face him.

˝What ?! What do you want?!˝ I snap at him angrily. I don't even know where it came from. His eyes widen like he didn't expect that but he is still holding onto my arm. But his hold is gentle. 

I close my eyes and exhale. ˝ I am sorry I snapped at you that was uncalled for.˝ I say knowing I need to be polite and professional. He is still my patient.

˝What really happened to you?˝ He asks now with a gentle voice that sends shivers down my spine.

˝I really don't want to talk about this,˝ I say not even denying that something happened. 

I can see sadness in his eyes but just for a second. But why would he felt sad? Maybe it was a pity. 

˝Look I promise I won't tell Noah and guys that we know each other. ˝ I try to change the subject.

˝ You don't have to worry about that. I promise. I know you don't really like me around,˝ I say and offer him a smile. Hoping he will let this thing go.... that he will let me go.

He curses under his breathe and then looks at me. 

˝You really should let someone know,˝ he says and I put my eyebrows up in confusion. Then he lets me go and I practically ran away... again...