Bumalik sa isla sila Marjorie at si Nong Nick nang sumunod na araw. Nagpasya rin kami ni Renz na umalis na. Valerie said I can stay for as long as I want but it would be an imposition of course. Kahit magtagal pa kami rito nang ilang dagdag na araw, hindi puwedeng magtago kami rito habang-buhay.

Ang plano ay pagdating namin sa Iloilo, hindi na kami magtatagal pa, di-diretso na kami sa Maynila.

"Do you think it's a good idea?" I asked him for the third time since we left Roca Verano.

He tightened his hold on my hand which he had placed on his knee and smiled for a moment before turning his eyes back on the road, driving carefully.

"Yeah," he responded with a reassuring smile but I was not convinced. Hindi ako kampante. Siguro kailanman ay hindi ako magiging kampante dahil hindi biro ang gagawin namin ni Renz. Mamumuhay kami sa kasalanan.

"Renz, puwede ba tayong dumaan sa sementeryo?"

Who knows when I will be able to come back to the island? Siguro ay hindi na kailanman. Kapag tinuloy namin ni Renz ang plano namin, hinding-hindi na kami makakabalik dito.

Bumuntong-hininga siya bago sumagot na para bang alam niyang hindi magandang ideya 'yon pero pumayag din siya. "Okay, baby."

We both said goodbye to our fathers in that cemetery. Pagkatapos ay nag-alay rin kami ng bulaklak sa puntod ni Don Isong.

Kulang na kulang ang salitang "patawad". He must really be disappointed in both of us now. Paano na ang plantasyon na pinagpaguran niya? Kami na ang huling mga Peñalver dahil ipinangako ko sa sarili na hindi kami puwedeng magka-anak. Madadamay lang sila sa sumpa na marahil ay dinala namin ni Renz sa aming mga sarili.

Is our love really worth every betrayal that we are dishing out on our family? Maybe it is, but that doesn't mean it's easier or less painful.

Iniisip ko pa lang ang mga susunod na taon, ang mga panghuhusga na puwedeng-puwede nilang ipukol sa aming dalawa ay nanlulumo na ako. Oo, mahal na mahal ko siya at wala na akong mas nanaisin pa kaysa sa makasama siya pero ano naman ang kapalit?

"Renz!"

We both turned to the sound of his mother's voice. He automatically stepped forward so that he was solidly between me and Tita Cosette.

"Mama."

"Lena, ano'ng ginawa mo sa anak ko?"

Hindi ko inasahan na makikita si Tita Cosette na umiiyak sa harap ko. She had always seemed so stately and formidable; a force to be reckoned with.

Simple lamang ang suot niya at hindi rin siya naka-sapatos na may takong tulad ng karaniwan niyang gayak. Kahit ang mukha niya ay wala ring ano mang kolorete.

"Tita..."

"'Wag mo akong matawag-tawag na tita! Kung may hiya ka-"

"Ma, tama na! 'Wag kayong mag-aalala! Hindi na kami babalik dito ni Lena. Hindi kayo mapapahiya."

He started walking away from her, my hand clasped firmly in his. But because we needed to get past her in order to exit that path, she caught my arm tightly.

"Kung mayroon kang respeto at hiya na natitira sa pagkatao mo, kung mahal mo talaga si Lorenzo at ang lolo niya, hindi mo gagawin 'to Lena. Isipin mo naman si Renz!"

She was sobbing now and it was all I could do to leave her there even though every part of me wanted to comfort her, to do what she asked me to.

"Ma, please. Mahal ko po si Lena. Pabayaan 'nyo na kami, " pakiusap ni Renz kay Tita Cosette kaya sa huli ay binitawan niya rin ako.

Saglit na lumapit si Renz sa kaniyang ina at niyakap ito.

"Forgive me for being a disappointment, Ma. You deserve a better son than me," bulong niya bago tuluyang iniwan si Tita Cosette.

"Tama ang Mama mo, Renz." Nakaupo na kaming dalawa sa loob ng sasakyan, nakayuko ako habang nagsimula na siyang magmaneho. Hindi na siya sumagot pa.

🌿

Dahil natagalan kaming makaalis sa isla ay nagpalipas muna kami ng isang gabi sa Iloilo.

"Renz, ano'ng gagawin natin sa Manila?"

"'Wag kang mag-alala. Ako na ang bahala sa lahat," his voice sounded reassuring. I know he has money because aside from what the plantation earned; he had invested in a friend's business venture which turned out alright.

🌿

"Renz..."

"We will stay in my condo in Manila first. I don't really use that anymore because I've rented it to a couple. Kakausapin ko na lang sila para makahanap sila ng malilipatan. We can stay in a hotel for the moment. I also spoke to Albert on the phone and he invited us to go to Tarlac."

Nasa eroplano na kami noon pero hindi pa rin ako mapakali.

"I told him, we will have our honeymoon first, though. Maybe in another couple of months, puwede tayong dumalaw sa kaniya."

Honeymoon?

Ibig sabihin magpapakasal kami. Kapag tinuloy namin 'yon, wala ng atrasan. But... even though he has savings, I know it can't possibly be enough for the rest of our lives. Ang ibig ba niyang sabihin magta-trabaho siya sa Tarlac? Alam ko na dahil ayaw niyang maging madaya, hinding-hindi na siya tatanggap ng pera na galing sa Chocolateria ng mga Peñalver.

"Baby, I know you're worried but we will be okay. Hindi ako papayag na hindi ka maging masaya at komportable sa'kin. I merely want to go to Tarlac to see their sugarcane plantation." Ngumiti na lang ako at tumango.

After we landed, I told him I need to go to the toilet and he should go ahead and get our luggage. Pero ang totoo ay isang araw ko nang pinaplano 'yon.

As soon as I saw him walk towards the baggage claim zone, I exited the restroom and turned to the departure area. I nervously paid for the ticket that was about thrice the normal rate since I'm buying it only four hours before the actual flight.

Walking away from Renz again was the hardest thing I ever had to do but what choice do I really have?

Tama si Tita Cosette; kung totoong mahal ko siya, iiwan ko siya. Hindi ko dapat payagan na mabuhay kaming dalawa sa kasalanan. Hindi ko dapat hayaan na masayang ang pinaghirapan hindi lang ni Don Isong, kundi pati na rin ni Renz.