Ryder jolted upright, heart pounding. Darkness enveloped her.

Her shoulders sagged. It was just another nightmare. Donnovan’s comforting embrace pulled her back down beside him. She’d fled to him so many times over the last few weeks with nightmares. It made her feel bad for depriving him of the little sleep he did get.

“It’s not real.” He murmured, voice encumbered by sleep. “You’re all right, and I’m right here.”

She curled into him, taking deep breaths to calm herself.

The only way she ever got any sleep anymore was to curl up with Donnovan. For some reason, when he was holding her and his soft breathing told her he was still safe, she stayed grounded in reality. Even when she did have a nightmare, she was able to come back from it and go back to sleep quickly after.

Her thoughts whirled as she lay in the dark, listening to his deep breathing as he fell back asleep. Something in her heart had been slowly healing over the last few weeks since she’d begged Donnovan to wait for her. It was clear to her now.

Kane had died, but he had done it to redeem her because he loved her. By regretting his sacrifice and hating herself for it, she was mocking his sacrifice. If he was here now, he would be scolding her for not living her life. Even if he had loved her romantically and was a bit jealous of Donnovan, Kane would’ve told her to go for what she knew was right for her. He would have said that she needed to marry Donnovan because Donnovan was the best one for her.

Tears prickled her eyes. She was beating herself up for the past and for something that she didn’t deserve to feel guilty for. It was because of Alyx that it had happened, and whatever parts she had done on her own had been unwilling. Yes, she still deserved blame for it, but others had forgiven her. It was time to forgive herself.

“D-donnovan?” She stammered.

His breathing halted, and he tightened his hold on her. “What? What’s wrong?” He sat up, hugging her against him.

“I’m so sorry…” She started crying into his chest.

He rubbed her back. “What are you apologizing for?” He whispered. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Yes, I did… I’ve made you go through fire and frost for me, and now I’ve made you endure my pain while denying you the one thing that could make us both happy…” She threw her arms around his neck. “I’ve been selfish in my desire to figure everything out after all of the things that happened.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Ry… But you’re forgiven anyway. Forget about it now, and move on…” Donnovan leaned back and wiped away her tears. “I love you no matter what, okay?”

She sniffled and nodded. “Okay… And Donnovan?”

“Hmm?”

“Yes…” She whispered, smiling in the dim light that was coming from the corridor outside the door.

“Yes what?”

“I’ll marry you.” Ryder hugged him again, burying her face in his shoulder.

He started laughing softly. “You decided to tell me in the middle of the night?”

“Better now than never.” She retorted, her words muffled by his shirt.

“You don’t know how happy your answer makes me.” Donnovan kissed the side of her head with a grin.

“Yeah, well…” She blushed. “Go back to sleep. You need it, and we’ve got a wedding to plan, anyway…”

***

“So, how are you going to tell your parents?” Donnovan asked when the two of them sat down to eat breakfast.

“Hadn’t thought that far…” Ryder muttered. “But my dad knows you proposed, right?”

“Yeah.” Donnovan shoveled a fork full of egg into his mouth and watched her as he chewed.

“So we don’t have a problem.”

Donnovan raised an eyebrow and swallowed. “You figure that how? You still have to tell them you said yes.”

“Yes, I do. But they won’t be surprised.” Ryder bit into her blueberry muffin. “My dad knows how much you love me, and he knows I love you back.” A blush rose into her cheeks. “He’s known for ages…” She mumbled.

                He laughed and raised his orange juice in the air. “Well, a toast to good luck, anyway.”

She grinned and clinked her mug of tea against his glass. “To good luck, then.”

The two of them drank.

As they set the cups down, they started laughing together. No one paid any mind to them in the crowded, noisy dining hall of West Base, but that was fine with them. It was just how the two of them liked it. Noisy enough that no one would eavesdrop.

“I have to meet with several of my ‘underlings’ this afternoon.” Donnovan grinned as he put air quotes around underlings.

Ryder shook her head and took another bite of her muffin. It was a running joke between them. When they were younger and Donnovan had first found out what her father did, he’d remarked that all of the men who were directly beneath Andrew in the authority chain were her father’s underlings. Now the responsibility of managing said underlings was on his shoulders. “I’ll find a way to tell my parents while you’re doing that. And I’ll probably go visit my sister. See you at lunch?”

He nodded. “I thought that we could picnic in my secret hideout. You’ve never been there, and I thought you’d like to see it.”

She smirked. “A secret hideout, eh? You know I’m always game for that sort of thing…”

He snorted. “Yup… You always were the adventurous sort. Even when it involved trying to track me and Ansgar through miles of jungle and several swampy areas.” Donnovan grinned. “You may not have been all that smart, but you had the persistence part down to the t.”

She glared at him. “I was too smart.”

He raised an eyebrow and began buttering his bread.

“Okay…” She conceded. “I was pretty gullible back then, wasn’t I?”

“Yeah.” Donnovan grunted, taking a bite of the buttered bread. “You were.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t expect me to admit that again.” Ryder playfully smacked his arm.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He smirked.

***

“Mom? Dad?” Ryder walked into their apartment.

Her younger sister was sitting on their loveseat, reading a novel of some sort. She glanced up when Ryder walked in and a big smile split across her face. “Ry!” She got up and ran to her sister.

Over the last weeks, Cassie had been making leaps and bounds in her recovery. She was almost back to normal. It amazed Ryder even more was that Cassie didn’t hold any of the things that had happened to her against Ryder. She’d forgiven Ryder for everything.

Ryder wrapped her arms around Cassie and gave her a light squeeze. “Cass… It’s so good to see you up and about today.”

Cassie laughed. “I’ve been up and about for days. You knew that, and yet you always say it like you can’t believe it and you feel bad.” She leaned back and stared at Ryder. “Stop blaming yourself for it. You saved my life by postponing him.” She smiled. “If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here or recovering.”

“If I had stopped him completely, you wouldn’t be recovering at all.” Ryder sighed, running her hands through her hair. “But it’s fine, Cass… Where are Mom and Dad?”

“In the library, I think.” Cassie cocked her head to the side, narrowing her eyes at Ryder. “What do you need them for? You’re practically walking on clouds and glowing today… What happened?” She winked. “You finally give that poor boy an answer?”

Ryder blushed. “Yeah, but…”

The door opened and her parents walked in.

“Ry, it’s nice to see you today. How’ve you been sleeping?” Allayra smiled as she took her daughter into her arms.

“Better than I was, Mom…”

Holding Ryder at arms’ length, Allayra gave her a critical look. “Are you taking the pills the doctors prescribed or running to Donnovan?” She asked, eyes narrowed.

“Well…” Ryder’s face heated up again, and she cursed herself for having such a sensitive complexion. She seemed to blush at anything mentioning Donnovan.

“That’s what I thought. He needs his sleep too, Ry.” Allayra moved to hug Cassie. “Take the sleeping pills too if you insist on staying with him at night. That way you’ll stay asleep.”

“I don’t want to stay asleep.” Ryder muttered. “It’s worse if I don’t wake up.”

“Now you’re starting to sound like Donnovan.” Andrew grinned at her and dropped a stack of books onto the small table at the center of the room. “He uses the same excuse when I ask him about his sleeping medications.”

“We sleep just fine without them as long as we’re near each other.” Ryder couldn’t seem to control the red creeping into her cheeks. “I promise that nothing is going on that shouldn’t be.”

“Better not be.” Andrew’s tone was light, but she knew he was serious.

Her father had made it clear that what was meant for marriage should stay in marriage and not be done outside of it. She agreed with his beliefs on that, and she’d always adhered to them. She wasn’t about to break her own personal rules for anyone in this regard.

Cassie gave her a look. “So…”

Their parents looked over at Cassie.

“So, what?” Allayra frowned.

Cassie shrugged and cleared her throat. “Ry?”

Their gaze shifted to her.

“Something you need to tell us, sweetie?” Allayra asked, grinning.

“Well…” She was certain her face couldn’t get any redder or hotter. “As a matter of fact, yes…”

“What is it?” Her father prodded, a small smile on his face too.

They already knew what she was going to say, didn’t they? Of course they would guess… Cassie had without any hints at all.

“I said yes to Donnovan’s proposal.” She blurted out.

As soon as she said it, Ryder deflated and sank into a chair, legs shaking. She hadn’t realized the nerves that were at play until just now. In fact, she felt a little light0headed now. Why she was so nervous about telling them, she wasn’t sure, but she was.

“My little girl is finally getting married!” Allayra squealed and wrapped her daughter into a tight hug.

“Mom!” Ryder gasped. “Can’t breathe…”

Her mother let her go and grinned. “What type of colors do you want for your theme? Maybe grey to match Donnovan’s eyes and yellow for yours? Oh, what flowers? Do you want the ones that grow natively around here, or do you want more exotic ones?” She was like a kid who had just received a million dollars. “Have you picked a cake yet? You like chocolate, and Donnovan likes cheesecake. Maybe chocolate cheesecake? Did you have other ideas? Who are you inviting?”

“Mom!” Ryder held her hands up. “I haven’t thought about any of that yet.” She sighed. “I’m sure that we’ll figure that out, but I only said yes last night, so please forgive me if I haven’t even considered any of this.”

Allayra nodded and smiled. “Sorry… You’ll figure it out, and if you need help or advice, you know I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”

“Yeah, Mom, I do…” Ryder laughed. “Just take it easy, okay… I don’t need anything fancy, and I haven’t even talked to Donnovan about all of that yet. I doubt it's really crossed his mind how much work planning a wedding is... After listening to you, I don't think I realized how much work it would be.”

“You'll be fine… Anyway, Donnovan will more than likely agree to everything you choose. Especially since your tastes are very similar.” Allayra's smile broadened.

Andrew wrinkled his nose, but laughed. “She’s right. He’ll probably tell you that whatever makes you happiest is good with him. Just make sure to force an opinion out of him on the food. That’s what us guys really care about.” Andrew grinned. “Or so they say.”

“Well… We’ve all got to eat that, so it’s only fair he helps choose it.” Ryder mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Okay. We’ve embarrassed you enough. Why don’t you go do something fun instead of hanging around here?” Andrew asked.

“I actually don’t have anything to do until lunch, so why don’t we hang out? We could play a board game.” Ryder suggested.

“You know, that sounds like a great idea.” Allayra headed for the closet. “It’s been a while since we’ve done that.”