Authors note: This particular chapter discusses situations that might be triggering to some.

Ryker Fox

The Palette

I was feeling some sort of nervous excitment. Nervous, because whatever Emma  was about to say, it seemed really serious. But excited, because I was finally about to learn some of her past.

The look on her face was heartbreaking. Her breathing was heavy, so she inhaled and exhaled very slow, exaggerated breaths trying to keep it under control. I decided it was best to not rush her and let her take her time. So I just sat in my stool silent, and waited for her to speak.

"My relationship with my father was never a good one. I believe he suffered from a lot of mental issues, but he would never actually get checked out or take any kind of medication. When he drank, it only made it worse." She let out a weak breath and winced, like it was physically painful to talk about.

"My mother insisted he was just stressed out and would be fine. She always made excuses for him. Even when he turned violent." Her voice broke and I clenched my fists, feeling like a thousand knives were being stabbed into my heart. I didn't like where this was going at all.

She took a big gulp of her scotch and set it back down before she continued. She had her hands folded in her lap, and I could tell she was trying not to cry. 

"It wasn't always bad though. He had his better days. It seemed to come and go randomly. I think..I think part of him tried. But there was just something in him that was broken. But he had moments when he was a good father. He even bought me my Durango for my sixteenth birthday."  When she mentioned the Durango, it seemed to bring up a painful memory. She temporarily closed her eyes and I didn't know if this would help or not, but I instinctively reached out and held her hand with mine. This caused her to open her eyes and when she did, I saw they were filled with tears. Just earlier she was comforting me while I was emotional, and now here I was..doing the same for her.

"One night when I was seventeen, I heard my parents arguing. I went downstairs to see what was going on and my father was drunk and enraged. He said he was miserable with us and he wanted to leave and never come back. I don't think he meant it. But my mother hid his keys from him so he couldn't drive. This set him off." She breathed in, and a tear ran down her face. I squeezed her hand and had an intense urge to take her in my arms, but I didn't want to overstep.

"The keys to my Durango were sitting on the kitchen counter. So finally he took my keys instead and said he was taking my car since mom wouldn't let him have his. I chased him outside, and caught up to him in the driveway right before he could open my car door. " She visibly began shaking, her eyes were hazy as if she was mentally someplace else. I was beginning to regret asking, but I didn't know that it would upset her quite like this. I want to know her, but I don't want to push her to open up before she's ready.

"Emma, if this is too much..I mean, if you're not ready to talk about this.." She shook her head and motioned for me to stop. After taking a big gulp of whiskey, she took another deep breath and nervously ran her fingers through her hair.

"It's alright, I've gotten this far..might as well go the rest of the way." She tried to put on a brave face but her voice was small, and shaky. She closed her eyes, seeming to be afraid to look at me..before she continued.

"That night when I followed my dad out to my car, I tried to stop him. I tried taking my keys away, and he became angry with me. He said I was on her side." She bit down on her lip when it began to quiver, and I grabbed her hand again..feeling desperate to make it better somehow.

Emma Riley

Part of me wanted to run away. Not from Ryker, but away from this intense moment. Away from the painful memory that I haven't spoken about in forever. But I couldn't run from it.

So instead, I faced it head on. Somehow with Ryker  next to me, it seemed to make it a little easier to bare. I took a deep breath, and spit the words out like they were poisonous.

"I don't remember much after that. Just a sudden sharp pain in my head, before everything went black. My dad, he had grabbed my head and threw it through my window on the drivers side. It shattered in a million pieces all over the driveway, and I passed out. My mom witnessed the whole thing." I could see the memory so vivid in my mind, like it happened yesterday. But at the same time, it felt like a century ago.

I kept my eyes shut, avoiding eye contact with Ryker. I was afraid of what I'd see in his face if I opened my eyes. What if he thought I was weak? What if he saw me as some type of emotional wreck? What if he was turned off by how much baggage I actually had? But it was too late to help any of that now, so I continued.

"He just left me there. He left me laying there in the driveway and took off in my Durango. He didn't even make it down the street before he ended up driving into a telephone pole because he was too drunk." I decided it had been long enough to chance it, and opened my eyes. The look on Ryker's  face startled me. 

His blue-gray eyes were intense, and staring me diwn. His face was red, and his chest was heaving up and down from breathing too hard. He looked pissed. "Then what?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"He ran back to the house on foot, panicked. He was starting to sober up and realized the seriousness of what had just happened. My mother said he was hysterical, pleading for her to have mercy on him." I felt myself getting frustrated again just thinking about it. That was what he always did when he fucked up.

Cry, make himself look pitiful and get my mom back on his side. My mother was so in love with him, she would have followed him into a lion's den if he asked her to. Love like is dangerous. Love like that, isn't love at all. Because someone who loves you, would never ask you to follow them into a lion's den.

"I woke up, not in the driveway..but in my car behind the wheel down the street. They actually carried me to the car and placed me in the drivers seat so they could blame the broken window and my injury on the wreck. Then they went home and called the police anonymously to report an accident." I shook my head, out of both pain and disbelief. I never would have believed it if I hadn't been there.

Ryker  took a deep breath, seeming to be trying to remain calm. But I would dare say that even he looked like he was getting emotional.

"You..never told anyone the truth?" He sounded irrate, and I couldn't help but feel a tad defensive. In retrospect, I should have told the truth. But I didn't. I thought people would think I made the whole thing up to place blame on the wreck elsewhere. Really..who was going to take my word over not one but both of my parents?

Not only that, but my mom begged me to give my father another chance. She said he was sorry and it would never happen again. My mother loved me. But ultimately, she decided she loved my father a lot more.

"No. I never told anyone. Except Gina." I said plainly, avoiding his staring eyes. I knew he probably didn't understand, but Gina  didn't really understand, either. To be honest..I wasn't even sure if I did anymore.

I continued when neither one of us spoke, the silence making me nervous. I wondered what he was thinking as he mindlessly stared off in the distance. At the same time, I was also scared to know what he was thinking.

"My mother got really sick with cancer soon after that. My father actually did get better through it all, he seemed to really take care of her. Until she passed away, and then he started spiraling again." I could hear the sadness in my own voice as I thought back to watching my mother become a weak, shell of what she once was. We had a complicated relationship, because I was angry with her for a lot of years for staying with my dad. For a long time, I doubted she even cared about me or how I felt. Luckily, I managed to get some kind of closure with her before she died.

"Before she died she made me promise to never let anyone disrespect me, the way she had let my father disrespect us. He had his good days, but on his bad days..we were his punching bags. As it turns out, my mom never forgave herself for not having the courage to leave." I heard him let out a sort of sad sigh, he was quiet a majority of the time. Only really speaking once. Is it because he thinks I'm weak? Does he think it was my fault? Does he see me as damaged goods now?

I felt a tear run down my face and I quickly wiped it away. "I still feel angry about it all sometimes. But it's just..sad. my mother died never knowing what real peace felt like. You know? Even my dad. Such a troubled soul." I took a deep breath, relieved I had managed to talk about it without breaking down completely. There was a time I thought I'd never be okay enough to talk about it.

When I told my ex Sam, he had a less than supportive reaction. He said it was stupid of me to let  my father abuse my mother and I. After that, I decided I was done talking about it. Now here I am.

"Where is your father now?" Ryker  finally broke his long silence. There was an angry edge to his voice when he mentioned my father. His fists were clenched in his lap and he avoided eye contact with me. His whole skin had a red undertone and the veins were suddenly defined in his muscular arms. He was obviously seething. I was just trying to figure out if he was pissed at me, or at the situation.

I shrugged, trying to sound indifferent. "We got in a fight after my mother died. Probably the biggest one we've ever had."  Though I tried to appear casual on the outside..I was internally cringing, remembering my father's harsh words. "He said that God was a horrible shot."

Ryker  made eye contact with me maybe for the first time since I had starting talking, looking genuinely confused by the statement. "What does that even mean?"  He asked, sounding both defensive and bewildered.

I was feeling ready to move on with this conversation and get back to the fun date we were having. That is, if he was still interested. So I spit the words out in a rush, hoping he wouldn't ask any further questions.

"He was saying that it should have been me who got cancer. Sure, he was hurt and angry. Yes, he might not have meant it. But, it was the last straw for me. I moved out immedietely and we haven't spoken since." I picked up the bottle of scotch and refilled my glass. I then picked up the glass and finished the contents in one setting like it was an emergency.

Afterwards, I decided I should slow down drinking. I could feel myself getting buzzed. The last thing I wanted was to end this date with me drunk crying and then puking on his shoes or something.

"So, yeah. That's what I meant by the Durango being tied with bad memories. Did that answer your question?" I motioned to him that it was his turn to speak, as I frankly had said all I wanted to say about this particular subject.

There was part of me that was relieved he knew about that part of my life. The truth was, I had feelings for him. So I wanted him to know me. But there was also part of me that wished I would have just kept it to myself. Him getting to know me was a scary thing. What if he decides he doesn't like me?

To be rejected by him at this point would honestly be devastating. I'm not entirely sure how my self esteem would recover.

"Oh my God..I..don't know what to say." Ryker finally admitted, rubbing his neck. His voice sounded quiet, and sad. "I'm sorry if I pushed you into talking about it before you were ready."

Okay, so he doesn't sound mad at me. He's not acting completely turned off or disgusted, either. That's a promising sign.

"Yeah well..I rarely even think about my dad anymore. Not like I used to. Except for when I drive my Durango, that is." I started to pick up the scotch to take a drink, then quickly remembered I had cut myself off and set it back down.

I had to remember that I rarely ever drank, and so I had to take it easy. Part of the reason I rarely drink is probably from watching my dad. He tended to use alcohol as a krutch to help him silence the demons. All it did was make them louder and harder to bear.

The thing is, when you see a situation of abuse in movies or on television, they often paint a picture of this violent, inhumane monster. Sometimes that's true. But, not all the time. I of course would never speak about anyone's situation but my own.  But in my experience, there were good moments, and 'better'  days. He wasn't always  that violent, inhumane monster. If he was, it might have been a lot easier to not care about him. The fact that sometimes he was kind, funny, and thoughtful..allowed my mother to make excuses for his sometimes out of line behavior.

I couldn't handle not knowing what Ryker  was thinking anymore. "Do you think less of me? You can..you can tell me the truth." I tried to hide the fact that my voice was breaking, but I had the worst poker face in the world.

I was terrified of what he was going to say next.

Ryker Fox

I hadn't felt this upset in a long time. The most frustrating part is, this was something that was out of my hands. It happened. She went through it. Her own father bashed her head through a fucking window. This same father then wished her mothers cancer on her. There's nothing I can do to make that not true, and that pisses me off.

I admired the fact that Emma  could manage to harbour a certain level of empathy after everything he put her through. I suppose that just shows what a better person she is than I am. Because I on the other hand, am not so quick to sympathize.

In fact..I want to go track him down right now and throw his entire body through a windshield. Then I'll leave him in the fucking driveway, and find a way to make it all look like his fault just to save my own skin. Let's see how he likes it. Oh but first, I'll get myself good and drunk. Because apparently that makes it forgivable.

"You do think less of me..don't you?" Emma  pulled me out of my internal rage and various fantasies of beating the shit out of a man I've never even met. I realized that she had asked me a question, and she misunderstood my silence.

I couldn't hide my confusion as I stared at her in disbelief. "You actually think it's you I'm mad at?" My mouth dropped open as she put her head down in shame, much like a scolded child would. In what universe does she think there was anything in that story that was remotely her fault?

She was visibly shaking, and looked like she might start crying again. I had no idea if this was the right thing to do, or if I would make it worse. But I couldn't take it any longer.

I seemed to shock her as I quickly grabbed her and took her in my arms. I laid her head on my chest, stroking her hair in a calming motion with my fingers.

Taken back by my sudden display of affection, I heard small, quiet whimpers buried in my chest.. and I realized that she was crying. She was so strong and yet, felt so helpless in my arms. I couldn't imagine anyone having it in their heart to cause her harm, least of all her own father. The man who was supposed to be her protector, ended up being the first man who broke her heart. How could such a beautiful, amazing person like Emma Riley  be created from a man like that?

"You are so much stronger than I..or any man could ever hope to be, Emma." I whispered it in her ear, and tried to make my voice sound as calm and soothing as possible. It broke me to feel her shaking, to listen to her cries.

"Thank you for trusting me with this." I said it right before kissing her forehead and wiping tears off her face. I really was grateful I had gained enough of her trust for her to share something so personal, and I was going to do everything in my power to not take that gift for granted.

Half an hour later

After our intense embrace, I made it my mission to find a way to put a smile on her face again. I wanted her to end the night thinking of what a good time she had tonight, not thinking about all the pain she went through in the past.

When she went to sleep that night, I wanted no doubt in her mind that Ryker Fox  thinks she's the most beautiful, brave, extraordinary woman no matter what room she's in.

We were just finishing our paintings when she looked over at mine and her whole face lit up. "Holy fuck Ryker, it's gorgeous!"

I sat up in my chair and stuck my chest out, like I was the greatest man alive. "Why, thank you. But enough about me, what do you think of my painting?" I gestured to the painting like I was a model on The Price Is Right, showcasing a prize.

Emma  rolled her eyes and scoffed at me obviously judging, but I didn't care. Because after that, I was given my real  prize. I had made Emma  laugh. It was music to my ears, and I immedietely began thinking of other ways to make her laugh, so I could hear more of it.

"I'm being serious, Ryker. Your painting is light years better than mine." She gestured towards her own painting with the brush that was still in her hand, a look of disgust on her face.

"It's beautiful, just like the woman that painted it." I said without missing a beat, giving her a wink. She blushed and tried covering her face, but I could already see in her eyes she disagreed.

"You can't tell me you're not seeing all these flaws?" She motioned towards the painting again as if she was pointing out something that was obvious. "It's flawed, and nowhere near beautiful. Just like me." She mumbled the last part as if speaking to herself.

I shook my head, unwilling to be faltered. "It's flaws are what make it beautiful. Just like you." She looked at me, her eyes warm and tender. My words seemed to make her smile, and her smile was enough to melt a fucking iceberg.

"You're sweet Ryker, but I still say your painting is way better." She looked over my painting with approval, and I got an idea.

"How about you take home my painting, and I'll take yours?" She looked at me startled but didn't say anything, and for a moment I wondered if she had heard me.

"Oh come on, that's totally not a fair trade and you know it." She finally said, her eyes shifting back and forth from both of our paintings.

"I quite like the idea of you having something I painted. I'll know that every time you look at it, it will remind you of me." I beamed, sticking my chest out once again.

She laughed, and shook her head. "I got news for you, Ryker. A lot of things already remind me of you." I raised my eyebrows and gestured for her to go on, and she immedietly began to blush again.

"Coffee cups, living room floors, fancy cuisine dishes I've never heard of,  scotch, cigars, lincoln navigators, painting, the list is growing at an alarming rate." She looked at me to find me grinning at her, which seemed to make her feel defensive.

She leaned back in her chair away from me and put her hands up. "What the hell's that look for?!" She asked, staring at me like a screw had come loose.

"Living room floors make you think of me, huh?" I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively and she covered her face in embarrassment, seeming to just now realize she had said it outloud. "What kind of thoughts are we talking about here?"

Her eyes narrowed, giving me a silent warning to stop teasing her. Unfortunately for her, making her blush was just too much fun.

I suddenly remembered a look she gave me when she saw my car earlier, her mind seeming to think something that made her flush.

"Also, speaking of Lincoln Navigators.." I started. She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to look intimidating. I lowered my voice just above a whisper before I spoke again, leaning in until I was inches away from her face. "When's the last time somebody fucked you in one?"

My words seemed to startle her so badly that she lost her balance on her stool and fell backwards. The top half of her landing on the floor, the bottom half still holding on to the stool. Keep in mind, she was wearing a mini skirt at the time, and unintentionally gave me a very delicious view. This woman just loves to flash me at random moments, doesn't she?

I honestly would have laughed if I hadn't been distracted by Ryker Junior  waking up from his nap to come join the party.

"That's cool, I don't need help up. Wouldn't want to pull a muscle in your right arm. What would Ryker Junior say?" She said it bitterly and I realized, the gentleman thing to do was to help her up. Instead, I was sitting here imagining ripping that skirt off and fucking her in the back of that Lincoln Navigator that's parked outside. What? Rome  wasn't built in a day and all that, right?

Just then with either perfect timing or horrible timing, the owner Shelby  came in to check out our work. She saw me helping up Emma, who was as red as a tomato. Shelby's mouth hung open as Emma  brushed off her clothes. I pressed my lips together, mostly to stop myself from laughing.

"Oh my god, is everything alright in here?" Shelby said as her eyes shifted from Emma to me. Emma was too humilated to speak, avoiding eye contact with everyone. So I took that as my cue.

"Emma just had a bit of a fall. Too much scotch, perhaps." Emma  shot me a dirty look, but Shelby seemed to accept this answer and move on.

Shelby's eyes seemed to fall to our paintings."Oh wow, what a fantastic job you both did!" She clapped her hands together, pleased. I nodded to say thank you and I could see Emma silently protesting.

"We had a lot of fun, Shelby. Thank you! We decided we are taking home each others paintings. We both prefer the others over our own." Shelby looked as if she thought this was cute, but I mainly said it as a reminder to Emma  that her painting is coming home with me. Let's hope that she will follow suit and come home with me too.

Emma Riley

As we walked to Ryker's  car in the parking lot with each others paintings in hand, I found myself sad our date was about over. Even though the subject got heavy and we both had our turns at being emotional, it was honestly the best date I ever had.

There was still so much to learn about each other and so many things to worry about. I didn't know what was going to happen, it was too early to tell. All I knew was, nobody had ever made me feel the way that he does. As long as he stays by my side, I will face any obstacle we need to.

"Tonight has been so much fun, Ryker. Thank you." I smiled at him as I opened the back door to his car and lightly set his painting on the seat. Ryker  did the same with the painting he had basically stolen from me.

I was once again caught off guard as he grabbed me and pushed our bodies against the car. He pressed his body against mine and he had a hungry look in his eyes that I knew too well.

"Who said tonight is over? The way I see it, you have two options." He rested one hand on my hip and stroked my bottom lip with the pad of his thumb on the other. I was always helpless to his touch, and was reminded of it when I felt shivers all over my body.

"Either I drive you home, and you go to bed like a good girl. Or..I drive you to my home, and fuck you until the sun comes up. How does that sound?" His words were like a purr, and I could feel myself melting in his arms already.

I smirked at him, feeling rather hungry myself.  "I'd say it sounds like we're going to your house."

Author's note: If you enjoyed this chapter, please don't forget to vote! :)