Ace quietly closes the door behind him, trying his best to not wake up his sleeping brother. He leans against the wooden door, taking in a deep breath. It almost feels like a weight has been lifted from him.

But he still doesn't know what he should do. He still has so many questions floating around in his head, and in his heart. Are these feelings for (Y/n) he so desperately wants to go away, love? Or does he just want to be in love again so badly that he's forcing it them to develop.

If that's the case, then shouldn't his focused have changed to Zoe after that one night stand? He taps the back of his head against the door, letting out a more audible sigh. He had one weight lifted, just to have a heavier one spawn in its place.

  "Ace," Sabo's voice from the couch, causes the older male to look up. "Ace... are you there?"

  "I'm here," Ace walks towards him, keeping his voice low. "What's the matter?"

  "Why? No matter how bad things have gotten, it couldn't have been so bad that you didn't want to continue living," Ace stops behind the couch, Sabo's words are confusing him.

  "What do you mean?" he tries to slow his breathing, there's no reason to be so anxious. "I'm not following you."

  "You'll always have Luffy and me," Sabo's voice gets softer with each word. "And everybody at the orphanage... they always favored you...  plus... I'm sure... I'm positive... you'll find someone some day that will treat you like you're the only one that matters. So wake up... don't hurt yourself... any...more."

  Ace walks around the front of his brother and stares at him. He's asleep. So he was either talking in his sleep... or he fell back asleep really fast. Ace grabs the blanket and pulls it up so it fully covers Sabo.

  If he was talking in his sleep... he must be having a bad dream. Or remembering something in the past. It was probably when he was in his coma. The black-haired man closes his bedroom door.

  He wastes no time, falling onto the bed. He can feel his eyes filling with water. It's as if the world is caving in on him. Is this what it feels like to be alive? How long has he been dead? When did he start having these feelings again?

  Hurt is a part of being alive. He knows this. I'm order to truly live, you've got to get hurt. In order to love, you have to lose a few times. But why does it always feel like he's in a constant state of hurt? Is it because he pushes it off. And pushes it away. Until it comes back too big for him to fend off?

  Because as he's pushing it down, he can't feel even the good things. And so the only thing he allows himself to feel is the bad. If he'd just allow to be hurt as it's happening, would that mean he would be able to feel happy as well?

  But it's just too much. He feels responsible for other's suffering. And they're suffering because he pushes it away. It's a cycle. He's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. There's no way to run from it. He has to be honest. But he doesn't want to hurt others. And when he's honest, he always ends up hurting others.

He can't help but wonder if there's a purpose to life at all. Why is he even here on this planet? He doesn't have a dream anymore. And at this point, did he ever really have one? He lets out a deep breath, he should visit the orphanage.

They're probably worried about him. It's been a while. Too long. Maybe they forgot about him. That would probably be for the best. What he wouldn't give for amnesia. If he forgot about the things he went through in the past, would he be able to smile and dream again? What would be stopping him at this point?

(Y/n) takes off her shoes as she takes in a deep breath, her eyelids are suddenly getting extremely heavy. However, her heart feels much heavier than her eyes. She sits down on the couch and lets out a sigh, hoping to relieve some of the weight.

When she realizes it doesn't help, she leans against the back of the couch and stares up at the ceiling. She can't help but think how strange it is. She was so worried about him, and he was right. She was being selfish. But what made her get the idea to be even more selfish?

Why did he allow her to ask that of him? She sounded so cliche... saying that she could talk to him. Saying that he made her feel seen.

  "God..." her face flushes with embarrassment, she can feel her temperature rising. "That was so stupid of me..."

  She places her hands on her face trying to cool down. She practically asked him to give up his feelings for her. She told him that in order for her to be happy, he needs to suffer. That she wants him by her side even though it hurts him.

  "Why..." she wipes away a few tears as they start to fall from the corner of her eyes. "How can you be that selfless? Why is it that you constantly do these things? How could I ask that of you?"

  "Am I any better?" she drops her hands and raises her head, staring out the sliding glass doors. "Aren't I just manipulating you? In the same fashion that your late girlfriend did?"

  She places her head in her hands, casting her gaze at the floor this time. If things were different, she could see herself falling in love with Ace. If Ryker didn't need her, she wouldn't have to put Ace through all this.

  If she didn't have a hero complex, things would be much easier. But if she were to break up with him, there's no telling what will happen to him. If he were to take his own life...then she would have no one else to blame. But herself. So she needs him to be happy. She needs him to be stable. And if they can still be together after it all... then that would be ideal.

  If she and Ace could continue being friends... and everyone could be happy... then that would be the best.

-.-