She lets out a deep sigh, staring out at the people running around the parking lot of the apartment complex. Her head is spinning, the decision she made weighing on her like a ton of rocks. Was it the right one?
He'll move on. She's seen the way his friends swarm him, how they treasure him. How he treasures them. Would it be too much to ask... that she could possibly find friends like that? She saved him? That call all those years ago reminds him to keep moving? Yeah right. As if she's that influential.
As if something that minuscule, could make that big of a difference, "I'm sorry, Ace... but I love him."
The door slides open, but she doesn't move to watch Ryker close it. It's quiet. He sits on the banister and pulls one of his legs up. She's upset, and he can tell. Anyone would be able to though.
  "(Y/n)... I know you're probably sick of hearing me say this..." he trails off, he stares at her face. "But I'm sorry..."
  "I... I'm no good," he moves his gaze to his arm. He can't remember why he did it, all he knows is that it felt good. Feeling the pain, feeling anything. It felt like he was human again. "You deserve... someone better."
  "Did... did something happen?" he clutches his fist before he looks back at her. "You know you don't have to worry about me anymore..."
  "If I didn't worry about you, then what kind of girlfriend would I be?" she gives him a smile. "I'd be a terrible one. You're always the first thing I think about when I wake up. I never get sick of hearing you talk to me... even if you're always apologizing. I love you, Ryker. I love you so much that... I don't feel like being around anyone but you."
"Don't lie to me," he moves closer to her and grabs her hand. "Tell me what happened."
"You tried to die, Ryker! That's what happened!" she covers her face with her hand, shielding him from seeing her tears. "And I could've stopped it! I could've helped you, but instead I was out with someone else! I was at a work party... instead of being with you when you needed me the most!"
He lets go of her other hand. But of course. That's a good answer. But he told her to go, "You... deserve to have friends that aren't me... you should have support for when I'm not around anymore."
"Not around anymore?" she uncovers her eyes and stares right into his ice-blue ones. "What's that supposed to mean?! You're not just going to leave me without saying anything! One scare is bad enough!"
He gives her a half-smile. He honestly doesn't even know why he said that like he said it. He feels her hands on his chest, she had gotten off the lounge chair and is now punching him lightly.
"Why are all men so selfish?!" she cries, her voice breaking in the middle of the sentence. "Why do they only think of themselves?! Why do they do things and never think of others? I don't want you to leave! I don't care what you think! If the world would be better off without you or whether or not you're worthy! Why do you guys think you can make those decisions on you own?!"
"Us guys?" he grabs her wrists and stares at her. "You're not talking about me, are you?"
"He can't just expect me to be okay with this..." she takes in a deep breath. "He doesn't truly believe this is what I want! He can't be that stupid!"
"(Y/n)," Ryker brings her inside and sits her on the couch. "Who are we talking about right now?"
She sobs, but refuses to say anything. She shakes her head. She said too much. She should've just kept quiet. Ryker didn't need to know that she's this upset about someone other than him. His well-being should be on the front burner and Ace should be after.
But if he thinks she blames him for this, then isn't there a chance that he'll try to die too? Isn't it her fault? Didn't she make him feel that way? Ryker's eyes stare into her, those eyes, they take her back to when they were nothing but friends. She could tell him anything and she wouldn't worry about how he'd take it.
"Ace," she bites her lip, waiting for him to react but he only nods for her to continue. "I told him... I told him that we can't be friends anymore."
"And why'd you do that, for me?" he tilts his head to the side. "I... think you made a mistake (Y/n)."
"What?" she stares at him. "I thought you didn't like him?"
"I never said that," he shakes his head and looks at the floor. "I think he's nice. I think... I haven't seen you as happy as when you're talking about him since we first started dating. He's a good friend... I can tell that there's something... fundamental... or well. That you two are meant to be friends. It's like... you were... destined."
"We were destined, Ryker," she takes his hand, and stares into his eyes. "You and me. To be together. Ace was just a friend. And that's all he was ever going to be."
"He will be, (Y/n)," he stares back at her, avoiding the fact that she said they were destined to be together. "You should tell him you're sorry. You weren't thinking straight, that you were only worried about me. (Y/n), he'll be a good friend. I can tell. He has a kind soul... like you. You two... would-"
"Stop! It sounds like you're trying to pawn me off on him!" she closes her eyes, she can feel her self nearly crying again. "I don't love him! I love you!"
He gives her a smile, cupping her cheek and bringing her face closer to his. Their lips meet. This was something that used to send her higher than the sky. Something she remembers just being better.
He pulls away, he doubts her. But most importantly, he doubts himself. If he had been better, then she wouldn't even've had any reason to fall in love with someone else. He doubts that they were destined to be together. Destined for something else maybe. Destined to be a challenge for her to move through, to leave behind her.
He should just let her go. But he can't. He's terrified. There's still a piece of him that loves her. And that piece is clinging onto her. After all, it's the same for her too. She still has a piece of love for him too. And that love, is the only reason she's still here. Putting up with his bullshit. But she should leave him. He knows she should. But he doubts she will.
"I love you, Ryker."
And he doubts that.
"I love you too, (Y/n)."
And that.
As well.

>-<