Harry's pov:

I opened my eyes slowly, looking up to see Draco still snoring softly. I smiled remembering our conversation from earlier. It was nice knowing that he accepted me wanting to take things slowly. I appreciated it more than he will ever know. I stared up at the blonde boy, kissing his forehead gently.

"Done admiring me princess?" I blushed at his words, quickly pulling away from him. "Stop calling me that" I mumbled. I got out of my bed and went to change into clothes. "Hey Potter, I'm sorry, what's wrong?" He asked. What isn't wrong? I didn't really know how to answer him. I didn't know if anything was really necessarily wrong, I just panicked. I can't get too attached, he'll leave anyways. Everyone I learn to love, leaves.

"Just leave." He frowned, looking at me. "Harry.. hey what's going on in your hea-"

"Malfoy! I said leave. I don't need your therapy. Tell Hermione and Ron I'll be with Remus and Padfoot." I sighed, quickly changing, jumping slightly when I heard Malfoy mumble 'whatever' and slam the door on his way out. I'm not sure when I decided to start pushing everyone away at any sign of happiness, but I guess that's to be expected from a boy like me.

Once dressed, I quickly made my way to the headmistress's office. Saying the password and walking into the office slowly. "Professor McGonagall?" I asked quietly. "Mr. Potter, over here. How can I assist you?" She asked eyeing me suspiciously.

"I would like to go home until Monday. If that's okay. I need some space, and time I'm sorry." She pulled her lips into a thin line, thinking. "Well Mr. Potter, I am certainly not going to deny your wishes. I will however advise, that you not run away from small problems for that won't help you get through anything rationally. Though I understand the need for a break after all you've been through. So if that's what you wish, I am happy to grant it for you."

I took in her words for a second. Knowing she is right. I shouldn't run away from my problems. It's only Wednesday. I can wait until Friday to see them. "I.. I guess you're right professor. I can wait until this weekend to visit. I'm sorry to intrude." She shook her head, "nonsense Harry, you could never intrude. I'm so proud of you." I smiled awkwardly, McGonagall had always been there. From the first day of hogwarts. She always understood what no one else seemed to, we were just kids.

I was truly thankful for her, and I just hoped she knew. After a couple more words, and a bit of an awkward goodbye hug. I headed off to the great hall. For dinner or for Malfoy. Whichever I saw first.

Of course it was Malfoy. Him, Pansy, Blaise, Ron, and Mione were all sat together. My seat open next to Malfoy. I went and sat next to him slowly, looking up at him. He had a plain expression on his face, he turned to me, nodded, and looked away.

"Malfoy-" but before I could say anything he cut me off. "Don't bother Potter, it's clear to see I'm only going to cause pain being in your life. If you don't mind, I'll leave." He went to get up but I grabbed his wrist, making him look down at me. "What?" He said harshly. I flinched at the way he spoke, and he noticed, clearly softening his expression.

"I'm sorry.. for.. for how I acted. I just seem to push everyone away anymore.. I'm not trying to hurt you I promise, and you're not hurting me really. You help I just.. I can't get the v-voices out of m-my head.." I trailed off trying to catch my breath, I felt strong arms around my shoulder. I began to panic.

"Shh it's okay I'm here, I understand I'm sorry, you're okay. Follow my breathing alright?" He was whispering in my ear, and I tried not to pay attention to whether or not anyone was watching. In fear of more panic setting in. I listened closely, matching my breathing to his before mine started to finally slow. "There you go princess, that's it. Nice and slow, that's it. I'm proud of you." I blushed, and pulled away slightly. Looking at him.

"I really am sorry.." I whispered, so quiet I wasn't sure he heard it until he responded. "I know, I'm sorry I overreacted, are you okay?" I nodded, looking around to see who saw that. No one seemed to be paying attention besides Mione who was wide eyed.

"What is it Mione?" I asked cautiously, confused by the look of what could only be surprise. "Nothing I'm just.. amazed. Usually only Moony and Padfoot can talk you down out of a panic attack!" I blushed again, realizing she was right. Draco was the first to help with an attack besides Remus and Sirius. Ron and Hermione have tried several times, but all I hear is Fred when Ron speaks, and Hermione's voice in the moment reminds me of the time in Malfoy manor hearing her screams.

I smiled at Draco, realizing how much deep shit I was currently in. No matter how slow I take things. One thing is for sure. I definitely had feelings for my former enemy, and those feelings if I'm not mistaken may be a lot stronger than I have allowed myself to believe.

"I bet by the end of this year, Remus will owe Sirius 10 galleons." Ron said making me groan, "please don't tell me you're talking about what I think you're talking about?" Ron just chuckled, leaning over the table to ruffle my hair. "Sorry mate, but you know how they are!" I put my face in my hands, to hide the blush creeping on my cheeks. "I hate you all."

Malfoy chuckled, "I'm a bit lost, but I don't think you have the ability to hate any of us princess." I groaned again, flipping the blonde haired boy off. "Stop calling me princess." He rolled his eyes, pointing to my plate. "Maybe if you eat some dinner, but probably not."

I sighed, eating my dinner and continuing on my thoughts about everything. Draco, my panic attacks, The weasleys, my parents. My mind was constantly a revolving door. I needed to learn to control the constant spiral of emotions.. but I have a feeling with Draco around more, things may turn out okay.

I mean, how much worse can things get?

-

A/N Harry and his mood swings. Tsk tsk.
This was sort of a filler chapter, my bad loves

Date posted: 12/13/2022

-H🫶🏼