Jeon Jungkook had never had to resist  the urge kiss someone as hard as in the moment Y/N had swatted his head in his old childhood bedroom.

Which, once again, made him question himself, because that was what he was into? Really?

And, no, it wasn't only the sinfully smudged eyeliner or the cute anime-style skirt (though it did have it's role) but also her unquestioned willingness to make herself behave like an absolute nightmare, just to prove his mother a point.

Because, despite her tough act, Jungkook was well aware of how shy she felt around strangers.

Nontheless, he still felt bad for making her agree to this. As much as he had his fun.

He pulled their entrance door close behind him, taking off his shoes sluggishly, "Sorry again that I made you come today." He said, trying to sound as casual as possible, when in reality he was freakishly scared of having to find out that it really made her upset in some way, "I know I shouldn't drag random people so deep into my problems."

She rolled her eyes, shoving one elbow into his side, "Shut the fuck up, I told you and your mom what I think about this." Then she glared at him half-serious, "And I'm 'random people' now, huh?"

He gave her a lopsided grin, "Sorry."

"M-hm, fuck you." She waved dismissively, teetering into the dark living room, "I need a drink now."

With that, Jungkook could only agree.

It was around one in the morning, normal hours for Y/N to be awake, not-so-normal-hours for poor Jungkook to be awake.

But he'd be damned if he went to sleep now. He'd heard from Hoseok that Y/N was actually a decently frequent drinker (not even a very light one, at that) so seeing her drunk shouldn't have been as surprising.

He'd made the experience that quiet people would end up being very loud drunks, but Y/N was rather getting really cozy instead. Or maybe this was his own tipsy brain romanticizing the situation. At least they weren't drunk enough to do anything stupid, just to feel better about their shitty day.

"D'you see your dad often?" Jungkook mumbled quietly, into the dimly lit living room. They were scooped together on one side of the couch, Jungkook leaning into the small corner between back- and armrest and Y/N having slumped against his body, head resting against his shoulder and side pressed against his arm. Her legs were dragged up against her body, short skirt riding up just a little too high for Jungkook's sluggish mind to prevent him from blatantly staring. Fortunately she didn't notice.

"He works in Japan, but on birthdays and shit I see him."

"How is he?" Under any other conditions would he probably have felt like a little school girl in love, rarely having been as close to her as in the moment, but right now he felt more like an inexperienced teenager who just stumbled across porn for the first time - turned on, but not quite sure what to do with it.

"Mhm." She thought, head slumping a bit lower until it was pressing against his upper arm. He had the urge to pat her hair, for some fucking reason, "He's like... if mom's a thunderstorm, he's nice summer rain. He's the calm to her chaos."

"It sounds like they fit together. Why did they get a divorce?" He gave in and lifted his arms, anxiety spiking even in his tipsy state when his fingers made contact with her soft hair, gently resting on top of it.

"Mom is a person who takes a lot." She sighed, "Dad didn't have anymore to give at some point, I guess."

Jungkook hummed, fingers beginning to work over her scalp gently. He hoped it felt good. He wanted it to feel good for her, "Makes sense." Her head slumped further down. Only a bit more and she'd rest in his lap. God, he really wanted that to happen.

"What you said earlier..." She started, "About how you think that your problems are silly compared to what I went through." She looked up at him, all Bambi-eyed and soft, "I think that was stupid as shit." Okay, maybe not so soft but what did he expect. It was her, after all.

"Oh, yeah?" He hummed, weirdly attracted to the way she cussed even when drunk and tired. Again; Why was that a thing for him?

He cleared his throat awkwardly while shuffling, deliberately making her head slump down into his lap. He was really being audacious tonight and he wouldn't get any good out of it as soon as she was sober again, but right now he would take advantage of her state, like an asshole, and make her lay in his fucking lap.

"M-hmm. Just 'cause there are people who have it worse... doesn't mean you have no right to be sad or angry. Or to wish to have it better." He stared, this time not at her naked thighs but her serious face, "You're allowed to want to be happy."

He hummed, "Makes me feel ike a weakling. Y'know. Cause' I can't just live through it."

She snorted, "Bullshit." Then she stretched her arms over her head, almost punching Jungkook in the face while doing so, before turning her head to look outside the window, "Look, Jungkook, I think you are... are a hero-" She faltered for a second, before adding: "We are."

He cocked his head to the side, trying to ignore the fact that she was carelessly wiggling around right over his crotch, "Heroes?" He echoed.

She hummed nodding, getting up with a small huff (Jungkook mourned the loss of her warmth) "Listen." She took both his hands in hers (okay, that might be just as good), her eyes glimmered as if she was scheming something, small, happy grin on her lips. He'd never seen her so honestly excited and it touched something deep inside him that left him feeling bare and vulnerable.

"We fought our own battles and won each of them. We faced our own challenges and yet are able to stand here and smile and be proud of ourselves. It doesn't matter if we didn't change the world, it doesn't matter if no one knows about what we accomplished. It's enough that we know where we came from, what we survived. We can be our very own heroes, and no one can stop us."

Heroes

Jesus fuck he wanted to kiss her right now - really dirty with tongue and spit and all. And it would've been so easy - she was so close. His heart pounded in his ears.

"We can be our very own heroes, and no one can stop us."

"Bambi..." It was hard, hearing that. Being told that he wasn't selfish for wanting to choose his own path. He had come to terms with the fact that he was a terrible son, a terrible child, had accepted that and moved on. Being told that this way of thinking wasn't right... "You know you really fucked my life over ever since we met?"

"Oi, YOU were the one invading my home!" She frowned, but her frown lacked its usual spice. Drunk Y/N was a lot nicer, apparently.

Her hands were still holding his, sitting in front of him cross-legged, back straight to be eye-to-eye with him. He grinned, "I meant this as a compliment."

She cocked a brow, skeptically, "Whatever."

"You're pretty cool, you know that."

"course'." She didn't hesitate.

"And drunk."

"cours- no, wait."

He laughed, hands squeezing closer around hers. They were so soft and small compared to his large and clumsy ones, "You should go to sleep."

"I don't do sleeping."

"I know." There was a last sliver of hope- "Want me to tug you in?"

"Oh my god." She tugged her hands away, making his heart drop, but at least his muscles relaxed again, "I can go myself. Watch me. I'll sleep like a fucking pro, without your help."

He bumped his fist into the air weakly, watching her leave for her room with deep regret, "Look at you go, big girl."

Why didn't you kiss her, dumbass- this was the PERFECT chance.

He scowled at the rude voice in the back of his head.

He would've loved to just tackle and pin her against the couch, but he really didn't feel like getting castrated in the morning - he knew how careful he had to be with her, when it came to these kinda things, given her history with drunk men.

"We fought our own battles and won each of them. We faced our own challenges and yet are able to stand here and smile and be proud of ourselves."

Her words had made him feel proud. Of himself and her.

"Goo' night." She mumbled, when they met again in front of the bathroom.

"Sleep tight." He smiled warmly, probably idiotically. God, sober-him would be dead embarrassed and kick his ass.

"You're a fucking moron." She shook her head, "Sleep tight."

___

much to think about

also pic at the top is kinda how I imagine jk is looking when she's doing, like, anything

xx