I stared at my reflection in the dark. It was 3 am and instead of sleeping I was staring at a fucking mirror like an idiot.

The touch of Jungkook's fingers felt still prominent on my skin, as if their imprints had burned themselves into me forever.

I... we... I kissed? Him???

I was trying to figure out how it had all ended in this by staring into my own eyes through the quite lifeless reflection mere inches away from my face, searching for the emotions that had whirled through me a few hours ago - the emotions that had made me do whatever I did, say whatever I said.

Back then it was... relief?

I squinted at myself, skeptically judging the definitely sleep-deprived girl that was stupider than she had originally believed, because she really had to spend hours on reflecting on her own actions to understand her own feelings.

So, relief, right?

Not only relief about his reaction to my comic. Though it also played a big part, all the worry I had felt just... unloading into a big pile of thoughtless happiness as, as if the string of a balloon, filled with anxious stress, was cut in half and just flew away.

But also another kind of relief.

Because, obviously, I liked Jungkook. How could I not, after all. But - also obviously - I had been convinced, deep within me, that someone like Jungkook could never see me as more than a friend. I'm the stupid bro-girl kinda girl, one that curses a lot, is messy and loud and just not what handsome law students like Jeon Jungkook would typically go for. It doesn't help that my self-esteem's been fucked ever since High School.

This is why I never really crushed on any one. I never truly believed that it would work out, that it could be mutual, so I never bothered to get invested.

But with Jungkook... we spent so much time together, I couldn't stop myself. And so I was stuck with a stupid teenie crush I never truly considered to be realistic. Sure, Jungkook saw me as someone he is really close to, how could this asshole not after everything. But romantic feelings?

Well, when he just casually came around with his stupid fucking 'I like you', the High Schooler within me that had never gotten a fulfilling romantic life, because she was scared to even face her classmates, had broken through and poof I was a happy girl in love.

Belatedly, I realized that I hadn't blinked in a while, heftily squeezing my eyes shut before opening them again, tearing my face away from the mirror. I rubbed my face tiredly, trying my damn hardest not to regret any of what I did this evening.

Things like kissing and confessions are hard when you're an overthinking dumbass, because you micro-analyze everything afterwards and destroy the entire memory for yourself.

Maybe crawling into bed with Jungkook would help.

A traitorous voice in my had whispered, which I pushed away decidedly. Fuck, no.

But he likes you back.

That's not a free pass to annoy him.

Maybe he can help you to take it easier.

Nu-uh. I shook my head heftily, throwing myself backwards onto my bed.

He won't hate you.

He would if I did stupid shit like that.

Consider that you might actually mean something to him.

I lifted my head from the mattress offended. Why were my thoughts sounding so much like Hoseok?

You don't just suddenly hate people that mean something to you.

God dammit.

___

It was around 4 am when Jungkook was pulled out of his light slumber by a faint knock on his door.

He'd taken longer to fall a sleep than usual, blame the probably longest lasting adrenaline rush of his life, but had just been about ready to dive into darkness and dream of soft thighs pressing against his and the sound of heartfelt laughter right besides his ear.

"Mh?" Jungkook grumbled confused, because the last time someone had knocked on his door at a time like that had been when he was still living in the dorms.

"Kook?" A hesitant voice whispered.

Fuck sleep, this was more important.

He sat up straight, possibly making sure that his naked chest wasn't covered by his blanket (he would gladly provide as drawing reference at all times), humming to signalize that she could enter.

But instead of doing that she just pushed the door open, remaining still in the doorframe, where she stood in her cute little plaid shorts and oversized grey tee that had somehow switched the owner from roommate to roommate through the washing machine, left hand scratching timidly over her other arm.

"What issit, Bambi?" He slurred sleepily, voice hushed.

"I like you too." She whispered, voice strained from the sleep that was slowly creeping into her system.

"...I know." He mumbled, smiling softly as to make sure that she understood it correctly. He didn't mean for it to sound mean. Not at all.

She nodded, eye-lids heavy, "Okay. Good."

He nodded, "Good night, Bambi."

...

"Kook?"

"Mh?"

"Please don't be too patient with me."

He cocked his head to the side, "Huh?"

"I trust you. I don't need time anymore." Holy shit, "Good night, Kookie." She wiggled her fingers at him, before closing the door impossibly silent again.

Kookie?

___

Jungkook stared at the anxious little mess that was cramped together onto a stool in front of the kitchen counter, sipping her black tea as if it was the only anchor holding her on the ground.

He cocked a brow, confused grin spreading on his lips, "Morning, Bambi?"

"Mornin'." She mumbled tiredly, "You aren't wearing a shirt."

He'd been about to open one of the cupboards over the sink, halting at her words, hand already on the handle as he turned his head around to her, "Want me to put one on?"

"..." She sighed, "No."

He grinned pleased, "Thought so."

"You're..." She thought for a second, "Insufferable."

"Oh, am I?" He took a cup out (one of the cups Jee had decorated himself with glitter markers, they actually had a bunch of them by now), walking over to her seat at the kitchen counter, "Your words don't match your actions, Bambi." He allowed himself to tease her a little, while placing the cup next to her.

"What actions?"

"Oh, Bambi-" He leaned towards her, elbows resting on the counter while he hovered over it, face on one height with hers while he grinned at her, "Do you not remember?"

She stuck out her tongue at him, "Shut up."

He laughed, backing off again to brew himself some coffee, "I didn't wanna say it yesterday cause' it would've killed the mood for sure, but you're surprisingly chill."

"Yeah, you don't know what's it look like inside me." She grumbled.

"I don't know what's it look like, but I would sure like to feel your insides-" She threw an empty candy wrapper, that had somehow never found it's way into the trash can, at him, having him catch it with a cackle and finally throw it away.

"You are insufferable." She decided.

"Maybe." He agreed. Then he looked at her with a wry face, "You seem to like it tho."

"Oh my god." She groaned, getting up from her seat, "I'm leaving, asshole."

Delighted, his eyes followed her back as she left for her room, feeling at ease. What he had been possibly scared of the most was that after his confession one or both of them wouldn't feel at home anymore in this place, but this wasn't the case after all. It was comfortable, just how both of them liked it.

"Don't be too patient with me."

"I trust you."

Jungkook had come to the conclusion that she wanted this as much as he did.

___

oh my god, they were roommates

i didnt proof read properly, pls do point out mistakes or they'll be here forever and thats embarrassing

xx