IT WAS JUST LIKE MY BROTHER TAUGHT ME, one day the sun will beam down upon your life, lighting up the pathway to your future but darkens in a blink as soon as you take a step.

Too young to care of his words at the time but now it is taken to great consideration. Wasn't my fault, all I wanted to do at the time was play with my older brother. Never knowing how fast I had too grow up at such a young age, what once was a dream to one day leave this town with my brother and mother and explore different parts out of New Orleans, became a tragic ending and an immense sorrow in my chest.

One minute I felt the touches of their hands, smiling at them with sincerity to now standing out in this field of wheat with their ghosts at my side,
Feeling the glares. They cannot speak to me even if they tried, letting me fall into this pit of shame.

I stand in the middle of the horizon awaiting my her with twiddling thumbs. Wheats brushing at my arms with bites of ants on my feet, but I am hollow to the feels, no reaction, my head is too full. Too full to care of life at the moment, spiraling with uneasiness. I am to make a decision, but which could path could I take that won't be my last breath? And which path that shows me the light in the end with her waiting for me inside it?

"Hey!"

I hear in the horizon, only that voice can break any distant thoughts that run frantically inside. I blink away turning to the source, just at the very end of the forest, a smile threatening to break from me seeing her wave so cheerfully before stepping into the field; Polished Emeralds upon her crown shimmering under the sun.

My Creeping smile dissipates, guilt refusing to let me enjoy the image, or live the moment of what could possibly be the very last day of our meet. I watch her every move unmovingly. Hands holding onto the hem of her dress as she's making way to me ever so happily.

Kindness radiates off her face alone, soft dough eyes with those glistening curls I like so much. Yet all that runs through my mind is how I have been so foolish, I should be grateful to the men that saved my life, once again going out of her way to wonder of my well being, I shouldn't be upset at the past. But now all is left within me was a feeling I can't shake.

Despite being together everyday for almost two years, the princess never knew where I lived.

"Hey" She smiled, out of breath, she never was one for running even if I chased her. Yet she ran towards me, for me.

Forcing a half smile, "Hey."

Instantly she notices my change of mood, bright smile slightly lop-sides, "How you feeling?" She asks in an attempt. Eyes instantly fighting the short cast on my right leg while my eyes glanced up the emeralds shimmering above her head.

"Is it doing better?" She asks whipping her head up to meet my glare.

"Y-yes" I forced, shame evident in my throat like thick mucus before I cleared it away. "Thank you." I smile.

Turning away to give her a side view, not letting my eyes linger on the crown or the sparkling necklace around her neck. She knew something was wrong, eyeing my body language in question and worry, my behavior different than from all
Of our previous encounters, by now we'd already be in our second game.

But instead I force my thoughts to steady, trying to sustain from convincing myself that what my father told me was righteous.

Silence has become unbearable in this field of dancing plants. "Is something the matter?" She finally asks, tone lacing with blame already. I know that tone and hated when she used it, without even knowing the truth or what's going on; she is quick to assume the fault lies with her.

Gentle fingers slither around my arm before I jerked it away, "I'm fine!" I spat, stretching the distance between us.

"Did I do something wr -"

"Stop Tiana! You know I hate when you do that."

"I'm sorry, you just seem like your mad at me and -"

"So what if I'm mad, what does it have to do with you? Why blame yourself because I'm upset hmm?" The words of my father keeps replaying in my head like a broken disc, anxiety and pain boiling down in my veins.

I promised her to always stay at her side, protect her from everything wrong and the demented people around her, never would I thought that myself is now included. We should be playing together right now, just being kids, but now my thought process is wondering how to force myself to sneak the jewels on her body without her noticing.

A souvenir my brother left behind for me before he was taken, and that was to always survive.

***

*** For months at a time my father would leave the home, my mother had long passed away, eaten and thrown out by the massive rats in the cul de-sac.

Food in the fridge infested with insects before the mice come along to finish that up as well, my brother and I would lay on the floor of the room, our stomachs roaring with a cramping ache for food, days soone turned to weeks than months would shortly follow of the repetitive hunger.

My brother grew tired of it all, refusing to wait for the hand to feed us, instead he resorts to tricks of his own. Ways to blend in without notice, be a silent as a shark, swift like a fox and fast like a cheetah, techniques that weren't easy to grasp on the first few tries.

'let's just stop this Arav,' I'd cry to him, pleading with the tears falling like bullets down my face. I couldn't bare to watch it happen again, four large men against his small frame profusely beating him down with their bare hands.

Strings of bloody salvia shoots from his mouth as he spat into the sink, face severely damaged and swollen from their fists, 'No,' he'd simply say forcing out a smile, few teeth missing or chipped with a swollen eye. 'I need to feed you' was always the response.

Malnourished, beaten and frail, he was on his last leg, I watched his still figure as he lies on the floor, coating it in crimson red, wheezing for air. No guardian to care and no one coming to knock on our door with a miracle, he lies there because he wanted to take care of me. That wa the day the tears stopped and so did the baby brother persona, That was the day I knew I needed to man up I did just that.

Though the town itself is kill or be killed, I await the perfect day, a day in which I could put my training to the test.

Days have passed and I have Finally pulled my brother away from death's scythe, I watch him slumber in the afternoon sun, tucking him in before grabbing a bag and heading out into the crowded street. A day in which everyone has come together as human beings, a festival in celebration of the New King -- The coronation.

Crowds have been gathered together since the Royal news. Cheers, food, conversation and laughter, a day I would have loved to celebrate with my mother and brother but now I am here only for survival. Like he taught me be as silent as a shark move like a fox and be quick like a cheetah, blend in but stand out, I do just that.

Two older women with boxes of food, I scan the surrounding stoically, casually approaching as if I had other matters to attend with no care in the world, coast clear. One of them turn away while the other speaks to a man, like a fox I am quick and silent, my palms sweat and my heart ready to explode -- Breathe. Swipe.

Already six feet away from them, none noticed the boxes were gone and already in my bag. By the time they noticed nothing on their tabel I was already hidden in the crowd, that was how the day proceeded until the bag around my neck became over filled with food. The sun was starting to set, it was time to head home.

But what started off alright was quickly starting to go south, the same large men that beat my brother to a pulp were scouting the area, eyes full of fire with veins popping on the sides of their necks, aside them were a few of the food vendors that I have stolen from, they have gathered together in search for me. I'm frozen in my tracks looking at the large devils; massive arms and with veins thirsting for blood, sinister eyes. I can almost see my reflection on the leaders hairless head.

I promised to not cry, especially since that would be my dead giveaway -- Breathe Nasir, breathe. I force my thoughts to do as I say, but all I can see was the image of how badly my brother was bruised and bloodied, nearly limping with a broken ankle up the stairs. One hit from him and my skull would shatter being twice smaller than my brother.

He stood there in the crowd like a death itself, radiating blood thirst. It was than I remembered I was still just a little boy, born into a society that was unfair, the man suddenly looks at me, meeting my glare and my heart sputters wildly, an asthma attack in the making as he analyzes my whole frame distastefully, crisp blue orb on his left with a colorless one on his right, oxygen turned stoned when he stretches a dark smile before looking away.

'Where have you been?' Arav roars at me from the ground, startling me from my already fragile states of shock. Judging by the worry in his eyes he must have woken up recently and searched for me first thing.

Tears brim my eyes looking down at him, 'Why are you on the floor', I asked rushing over to him setting the food down beside the door.

'I was about to come looking for you' he responds reaching out to pat my head. On his healed side with damaged legs, he was ready to crawl out into the streets for me. 'What is that,' he questions looking over at the bag filled with boxes and cans.

'Food Arav, I got us food' I cried. ***

***

Back than I had reasons, but now I can't even fathom one. I can't do it, looking into those glossy orbs and purposefully causing her pain. I wouldn't sleep at night and it would never sit right with me, I made a decision, a decision that would forever haunt me.

If I am now going to be a problem it's best to end it now before I fall to deep. My eyes begin to glosson but I push back the tears, practicing deep breathes to control my emotions, there is a major important question that still needed to be answered before I part ways from her.

"Tiana?"

"Yes" she beams hearing the softness in my voice.

I don't know yet how to put together the words, especially in a way that makes sense to her without giving away to much information, staring blankly at the soil until her frame steps into view. Silver off shoulder strap of her gown hung at her bicep, curved lashes and those large button eyes, my favorite.

"What is it Nasir, talk to me" she steps in closer engulfing me me with her sweet smell, insecurity snuck in and I backed away, I probably smelt like the back end of an elephant. Noticing my steps she glances at me sadly not moving any closer.

"How many Dr's have you sent to my home?" I croaked, a sob clawing at my throat leaving a painful feel.

Her brows furrow deeply before providing me with the answer I already knew "I don't know where you live Nasir, you would never tell me so daddy sent only one over."

Just as I thought, solemnly I nod in understanding.

"What's wrong was he not good enough? did something happe -"

"I won't be back here anymore Tiana." I blurted.

Statement silences the reaminding words from her voice, "What?"

"I'm not coming back here anymore"

The wind whistles in the background, "Oh-is there a new spot you want to go and see I ca -"

"No Tiana, we are not going to hang out anymore" My heart beats wildly in my chest.

Finally grasping the the intentions, "Nasir what's wrong?"

"I don't want to be your friend anymore" I feign mad turning away from her to cross my arms on my chest.

If I could hear the sound of a heartbreak it would resemble the effects of a shattering glass, eyes locked on me as she forces herself to speak through the shock and pain. "Wh- why?" she wheezes.

I fight hard, "Because your annoying and I don't want to be your friend and more." I want to crumble, there are plenty of ways that I could have done this, but this was the only way to ensure she wouldn't come back for me. Thus severing the our bond.

The only way out of this was for her to hate me.

"B-but we promised to always be here for one another." She fights hard to stand strong, but the tears didn't get the memo, falling like bullets as her chest heaves.

"I- I have a new friend" I lied, "And I want to hang out with her more and not you." I was beginning to lose the battle with myself, ready to fumble and cry telling her that I was just saying these things to protect her, but why hurt someone you want to protect?

"Nasir?" her arms reach out to me, tears uncontrollably falling down her face, trying to find reason in all of this, but atlas the truth is too great for her to hear. small fingers almost touch my skin but I moved away from them.

"Goodbye Princess, thank you."

On her knees she falls behind me sobbing into her palms, my legs wobbling like jello trying to walk away. Don't look back, don't look back, it's for the best but my emotions said otherwise, painfully my heart rams, screaming at me to turn around.

"You promised me" she screams, "Why are you doing this?"

Questions that she will never get the answer too.