Crisp and clear outdoors, a ray of sun brilliantly bestowing down to the soldiers, I watch them march outside from above. They aim their guns to the commands of the chief, from behind my window their boots hitting the ground were thunderous, marching in sync and rhythm in a straight line. My mind brimming with a thousand words, the skin of my eyes ringed with exhaustion, and I found it difficult to keep a steady composure. So much so I continuously zone in and out.

I slipped out of my room last night for answers and came back with more trauma than before, and more disturbed than before. Through the slits of my eyes, I absentmindedly peer out to the scenery of a cloudless bright sunny day and moving figures. Regrettably so, I step over boundaries I could not come back from. Camps and organizations that lie within acres of my queendom. Dices of tension steadily roll down my shoulder and I slumped from the heavy exhaustion, planting my temple to the window, sighing as my pores stretch to the warmth that radiates from the window.

When three knocks on my door jolts me, and the raspy voice of Patrick in the distance calls me. "My queen."

Slightly startled by the sudden sound, I twist my head to his formal stance aside my door. "Good morning." I weakly smile.

"You were not at breakfast?" he says. His tone ladened with suspicion.

I suppress the need to spill too much info, or what I learned, and settled with a gulp. "I heard that cry again." I nearly muttered. As my words run across him, the apathetic mask he wore dissolves, and a tension releases from his shoulders.

"This is why you always sent me away isn't it?" I continue, my voice nearly a nasal whisper.

"Tiana-"

I cut him off, from the way he says my name I could see this conversation meandering towards another direction. Shifting from the point I am trying to make, "There is evil being done in these castle grounds". I now face him, reading the hesitation in his orbs. "I have always had this feeling; I have always felt strange occurrences, and that faint rancid smell of iron that would be hidden under the layers of cleaning supplies."

"My queen-"

"And I have always felt as though there were more to these secret meetings that are being held within the walls. But never -" I breath gusts from me in a flash, as if even my body refuses to believe it, and sudden exhale leaves me breathless. "Never did I expect it to happen right under my nose."

Patrick remains stiff by the door, his chest risen high as if he holds in a bubble, and from the way he is in capable of keeping an expression he eventually releases his composure with a nod. "I could not have protected you from everything." He speaks. "Eventually, you would have found out."

"And that's why this time, you did not make any preparations."

He nodded stiffly, basking in the knowledge I conjured, before he steps inside and closes my door. "How did you find out?" he asks.

My gaze guides back to the window, peering downwards beyond the marching soldiers to the young blonde that stood in between the men.

*Flashback to last night*

"My Tiana. I am Charlotte."

It begun a new chapter, and the start of a new friendship, my emotion sails on a smooth surface of a river, joyful to a new friend who was my age.

Charlotte mirrors my smile but beams even more brightly than I her sharp blue mellows, "Yay, besties." She claps her hands together squirming herself on the stool. "We need to do more things together, omg where should we start." Her eyes trail up to the ceiling in thought. I could almost hear the words scrambling in her brain.

"Movies for sure." She starts. "Drinks, shopping omg I need more clothes and -"

I could barely keep up with her mouth, it was like the blades of a boat that sliced through the waters, spinning with incredible speed. My eyes struggle until they spiral with nausea.

"And definitely-" Suddenly she stills.

And so have I.

There was a scent, a faint scent that looms like a veil of a thin cloud, barely fanning across our chins. We focus our composures, deeply engulfing the strange aroma that radiates of the vents.

A wafting foul scent of decaying meat and heavy chemicals. Though it is faint, it was sharp enough to sting my left nostril. Faint tears begin to well on my lids, and Charlotte lightly coughs.

"Sarin." We say in sync. Our eyes dart to each other, wondering how the other knew, but chose wisely in the moment to cover out mouth and nose.

"Come my Queen." she muffles. Before she can grip my bicep, our hands interlock together, and we both fled the kitchen for fresher air.

As we reached the living area we test the air. Vanilla. The air is safe, my welding tears fall, and I huff a breath to catch.

"Are you alright my queen?"

"Yes, are you?"

Our concerns matched, and we shift to look up to the dark blowing vents, my chest ramming as I try and catch my breath.

"I don't suppose there is a maid awake at this time of night is there?" she nasally questions.

"No."

"Then my Queen, I will have my men investigate."

"That is alright." I assure, blinking away to look at her. "A queen needs to be aware of what goes on in her castle." I say darkly.

*End flashback*

Patrick's questions still loom freshly about, hanging before me by a thread, "I heard a cry." I only say.

I watch him swallow, his eyes twitching with aggravation.

"There is no longer the need to protect me, Patrick." I treaded, "You have taught me everything I needed to continue on. I am not afraid." Determination warps around me like a blanket, my eyes hardened as I officially made up my mind, turning to look at him. "This is my castle; I cannot run anymore."

"I see, and the young woman?"

I huff, "It is alright Patrick; we had a conversation together last night."

The furrowed seam of his brows rest at my statement.

"We had a girl's night." I merely shrugged, the lining of my lips wiggle with amusement.

His wriggling lips thin out before one of the corners curled, "Very good, my queen." he bows, and as he lowers his head, I can see the proud smile he wanted to hide.

Patrick lifts his head, I watch his eyes flick between sorrow and gratitude, there was a way he held my gaze. Surveying the frail stance, I lightly furrow my brows, this was an expression that strangely tugged the strings of my emotions. "What's wrong?" I questioned parting my lips, aligning myself as he gently strides towards me crossing his hands behind his back, my amusement fading when I scrutinize underneath the stoic demeanor he shows, something indeed troubles him deeply. "Is there something you would like to say?"

He exhales cooly, "Then with that being said my queen, there is no longer the need for me."

My parted lips slowly come to a close, "What?" A sudden nausea swished through my body leaving a prickling burn in its wake.

The tension heats when he inhales through his nose, gathering his composure. "Please have a seat my Tiana."

My name this time. The way it drifts in the room was heavy, is if carried by heartache.

I follow the motion of his hand as it guided me to the edge of my mattress, my feet sauntering as I kept my eyes keen on his movements. Alone we sat, boots of soldier's stomp outside in the cloudless day.

Patrick and I sit side by side, my palm cradled in his as he held it with caution.

"Even now as I look at you, I am reminded of that little girl that wanted to ride a bike."

My heart thrums at such hinted words, from the feel of his palm grief exudes from his touch. At our proximity, I could see the crinkling lines of his forehead, and the droopy eyes, exhaustion.

"Patrick wh-"

"Please allow me to finish young Tiana."

My lip quivered at the bottom.

"I will not hold you long. But allow me to say that my time serving you fulfilled my days. Watching you grow and flourish, tackling and mastering new techniques, perhaps age has gotten to me, or you have exceeded far beyond my expectations."

"What troubles you, Patrick?" I quivered, my hand trembling in his when he gently tightened his hold to keep me still. His palm calloused, his fingers were skeletal and cold.

Distantly he looks into my eyes, the blue color going flat as he masked his pain with a hollow smile, against his palm I felt a fading pulse.

"Thank you for it all. Giving me memories I can forever keep with me to the grave." He finally says.

I tighten my hold, angling my body to where I can face him fully, "Is something the matter? Is it -that pesky cough again? I will call Dr Lebedev right away an-"

He pauses me mid-way with a gentle palm to my shoulder, his cold touch on my naked skin jolts me. His eyes impassive. "Technology can never save even the greatest scientist young Tiana. When your time has come, it has come."

Words I have heard him say before, and I lived life to witness how cruel it can be when death is at your door. Though every word he says struck right through my nerves I selfishly tighten my grip around his palm, afraid if it were any looser, he would slip from me.

"Patrick." I murmur with a breath. Tears welling in my vision.

"I taught you to save your tears Tiana, save them for moments you cherish."

My body goes against me and spills a tear as I blinked, a droplet landed on his thumb. "I cherish you." I sniffle.

"And I lived a life long enough for you to always have memories to keep with you. But now it has come for you to create new ones with another."

Another tear flake curved down my cheek, "With another?" I focus my wet eyes to his face, his hinted words pulling my attention like a magnet.

His hand gently tightens, "Someone your heart screamed for just as you looked into his eyes."

Heat flicks through my veins scuttling within the tightest nerves, my trembling hand stills, and my thrumming heart mellows like a ripple-less wave of a river. A breath gusts from me with an involuntary hiccup, the buildup of tears finally erupts from me as I gale out the sob, finally pulled down into my own sorrow and my head plants against my face.

I had no words to fathom; none could solidify not when my heart rammed with such excessive force. "I - I-"

He does not leave me the opportunity to finish, watching as I stagger for tranquility. "You have come far, and have executed your plans exceptionally, I trust in the future you will be stable. I am proud of you, and I am proud of how you trusted your hunch, but I am sure you knew this. Since the day you looked at him."

He slithers his arm around me, our palms untangled as he slid the other, my head rests on his chest as he cradles me against him.

"Rest my Tiana, save the rest of the tears, you will need them tonight."

My fingers grip the fabric of his sleeve. "Hold me more."

I feel him loosen as he huffed a breath, his fingers slipping through my hair. "Forever and always."

***

A faint airglow of red and yellow seeps through my curtain, the slit of my eyes peeking open to look at the emerald-colored diamonds encrusted in my chandelier, the light of the fading ray reflects against the shimmering jewels, and they ornamented the ceiling like stars. I groaned, squeezing my swollen eyes to recede the heavy exhaustion.

Dehydrated and feeble, I leisurely raise a palm, running my fingers gently around the skin of my head to soothe the ache in my temple, all while stretching the tight pores of my cheeks from the dried tears, it felt like my eyes were drenched in sand when I blinked, every flap scratched the back of the lids until I force the sensation away.

Overwhelmed with exhaustion I am abstracted in my memories of how this has all come to be, when the sounds of the ticking clock in the distance anchors the swarming thoughts.

I steadily rose up, defying the gravitational pull that forces me to the mattress, focusing my attention on the clock. In my peripheral I see the tip of the flaming sun resting at the line of the horizon. My heart sprints away at the nearly late hour, this day was not done, I had one more person to face.

I force my legs to move, the ends of my heels stealthily clink to the ground, with barely enough energy, nauseated and parched my swirling eyes sees double of every object until I steady my hands against the dresser counter, forcing myself to get a better look at my state in the mirror. My breath gusts at the reflection staring back at me, a sculpted head with tired fox eyes, the life nearly drained from the brown of my pupils with dried tears down my cheeks, my curls ruffled.

I focus my breathing, attempting to settle the creeping anxiety dwelling within my nerves, the ends of my fingers trembling but I push forward, settling in my chair to arrange myself like a lady. The sound of my breathing is in disarray, I cannot remain steady, even as I reach forward for my comb.

I didn't think it was possible, yet with the flaring emotions in me, somehow, the need to sob is apparent, fresh new tears line at my lids with that sting at my nose --Pull yourself together, Tiana.

***

Despite the sun submerged in the line of the horizon, it's remnants of burning gas emanates a dark color that turns the sky a raisin purple. I escape the royal castle as everyone was tending to other matters. My feet pulling anchors, the sounds of my heels clicking away growing distant.

I could faint by the lack of oxygen.

A cooling breeze wafting against my skin as the door comes to an open, crickets chirp in the distance with croaking toads, and a few greenish glows of firefly's floating like tiny bubbles.

Beyond the horizon of the land, the faint light guides me until I find the tree. And just as a shooting star sprints its silver across the sky, I see the figure of a man. Suited back facing the tree, curls unruly by the whistling wind, and hands in his pockets. Sharp tears fall from my eyes before I even noticed they were brimming; rocks crunch under my heels as I make way towards him.

My breathing shudders, drums resound in my ears, all cells ignite, I am fervent by his presence suddenly in my eyesight. An unanswered question finally confirmed. All this time, he was right here, next to me, touching me.

Sensing my presence his ear flicks, stealthily lowering his head from dark sky and angling it slightly to my direction.

I catch my quivering lip, blinking out a few tears that kept welding until I can gather myself. "I-I-I spent all night going over whatever it is you wanted to talk about." I forced. "It could have been anything and everything, really. Getting to know more from the man that is guarding my life, or the man that my husband informs me to trust. Possibilities were endless."

The raisin purple sky darkens around us, but the glow of the fireflies closing in provides a glow, bright enough to illuminate his face, and the honey orbs as he twists himself fully to look at me. At the sight of his glare, my pulse quickens.

"But ... never was it for this until I listened to own hunch."

His furrowed brows relaxing. A loose thin branch of the withering tree swaying away by the wind. And for a moment, it was like I saw a glimpse of his younger self standing next to him, but he rids the illusion and strides forwards to me slowly.

My head craning up to him, vision glossing even more. "Nasir." I say lightly, just as he stands right before me. Scented cologne flying into my streams. "It's you isn't it."

He doesn't respond, granting me the moment to grasp myself control, shivers race down my spine, the breeze rendering me cold when he curls his fingers around my bicep. Under his touch, my quivering steadies, with this close proximity I can see him even more closely now. And with the slight flicker of his gaze, I saw that minimal light of a candle spark in the corner of his eyes, that mask he wears melts as his stoic expression falls. The disguise was no more.

The corners of his lips finally tugged, and I see that smile before our foreheads touched, his curls drape my head. After so long, torn from each other, we reunited on this night.

And my heart knew it first.