It was like swimming through a current.

Though my speech left the crowd in silence, a part of me wasn't settled. I am disturbed by the way it went, questions bounce in every corner of my brain pertaining to how it was handled, and the outcome of the future. I could not help but think if I allowed my temper to get a hold of me or worn my heart on my sleeves, thus showcasing a Queen either too soft or too brute amongst her people. I shift uncomfortably, slightly trembling while I constantly fight the bile that claws up my throat.

I fucked up.

Failed to remain humble, but instead fell right into a mousetrap, ambushed by the questions. Questions I didn't see coming and was not prepped for. I sit uncomfortably in the back of the car, my head angled towards the window trying not to get caught in a wave of nausea, despite the steadied motions of the vehicle I become cocooned by my insecurity.

My dress suddenly begins to tighten around the vital areas of my body, threatening to cease the air in my lungs, darkness follows shortly after, spreading its inky color around my vision as I trembled, suffocating as I sunk further into a deep depression when I was disrupted by a latch sound of my opening window.

With the hit of a breeze, I part my lips to greedily inhale the crisp oxygen of wind, and an earthy aroma. My nerves unbind and the heat flees immediately, I can suddenly breathe again, and my body has never been so happy. The tears that brimmed soon dried, but with the gloss of my eyes I peer over to the man in the driver seat.

His marbled honey eyes only spared me a single glance before he tends back to the road, I noticed than the air conditioner was open, and it was only my window that was slightly cracked, symbolically freeing me from my burden.

And as my sorrow was lifted, only than my trembles and worries are steadies and my lips stretch into a smile, and I peer back to the window, this time admiring the earthy grounds of blooming lemon and orange fruits that sprout on the tall green trees.

My next destination was a bit far out, but it leaves me time to rest my nerves. And for the next hour, the car ride is silent, but our eyes occasionally meeting each other's through the rearview mirror, stars dance in the corners in mine as I found myself continuously getting lost to him while he looked away but cower when he looks up, failing to hide my smile.

The car than swiftly maneuvers to a left turn and promptly the scenery changed, all the bright colors of the green leaves turned to hickory brown, the grey bark of the tree from before are now inked with strange black color. Unkempt grass and sleeping figures aside old alcohol bottles.

My eyes survey the area, floating to the homes with green patches of mold on the sides, a smell looms about in the community but before I could even make out the scent my window was rolled up. I peer over to my driver and my brows relaxed, there was something swirling in his eyes that I could not decipher, his body language remained rigid, but his hand tightened around the steering wheel.

It was no different than the people before only there were no sunhats and glasses, only women and children wearing torn clothing, hurdled around each other as the mingled with their neighbors. Men gathered on tables playing card games while grills were cooking with meat.

This is what they call the commoners ground, and it was here that Nasir grew up.

The Royal crest upon the cars were noticed, and like the elites everyone flocks to the vehicle, only they had more restraint and not cage me in, everyone remains at a safe distance, clapping at my arrival with genuine smiles and cheers, aligning in rows of two as we were guided to a safe parking.

As I acknowledged my people of the land, I also found myself in search for him.

Despite the years I have been told to let him go, a part of me sensed he was closer than I thought.

"Your highness?"

I blink away from the crowd, to acknowledge the voice that resonates down my spine.

"Y-yes." I croaked.

"Whenever you give the order." He assures to me; his voice somehow seems lower than before, rumbling the windows, and the tone sends chills all throughout my body like waves. But in that moment of temporary rawness of my body was I able to detect a pain behind those words.

Almost like it was him assuring himself.

"Yes," I nodded. "I am ready."

On cue came a knock on my glass, but this time I don't jump, and I hover my eyes aside me where Patrick stood on the outside, he and the same bodyguards who have been driving behind us position themselves in my protection, waiting for my descend.

My nerves are calm, peering out again to the people that aligns with open arms to my arrival, with every face I scanned, none were familiar, and no memories were procured. Before I could give the signal, a figure caught my eyes, a sickly thin man wrapped in a blanket as he stood at the very end of the row, his hair frizzed and unkempt, and shorter than the others, he wore an expression I could not decipher, glaring at my side of the window as If he knew where I sat exactly, the look in his dark brown eyes were void, abandoned, but somehow controlled.

"Is everything alright?"

I blink away, flicking my eyes to my driver, "Uh yes." I squawked.

"Are you sure?" he asserts lowly.

I flick my gaze back to where I saw the man, but to my expected horror, he disappeared. "Yes." I force.

"Mm, very well." he drawls lowly.

I take a moment to breathe and gather my melting body as he stepped down the car to open my door. I Huff and puff out steams my body emanates, settling the goosebumps that rose on the surface of my skin and finally gather my composure just as my door clicks open, his masculine scent fuses in with the breeze as it fans my face, and I look up the handsome man hovering above me.

A smirk plasters across his face, and he extends his hand down to me. I hesitate, nervous to touch him again in fear he'd feel the heat of my skin.

I try and stall, "I uh, sorry I-I'm just a bit nervous and -"

"Take my hand."

Without no doubts every and anything in my brain lapsed, drifting away until I myself questioned whether or not I was going to say anything, and stealthily slid my hand into his. Like before when we touched, tiny sharp electric bolts burst in between our palms, and my lip's involuntarily part as I sucked in a breath to the shock. Our eye contact keen on each other until my breast is inches from him, and I watch him swallow thickly.

"Shall we, your majesty?" Patrick's voice chimed in with a distorted tone.

At first it was hard to understand a word or hear anything other than the rhythmic drums that pounds in my chest. Our hands still locked with one another and so were our eyes until I shy away still feeling his eyes on me while I looked elsewhere.

My eyes focus on the mixed feelings throughout the people of the grounds, expressions of joy and excitement soon transcends to a bitter distaste as I am guided to the stand. With my bodyguard's hand around my waist and the proximity of my breast against his sturdy chest as he safely guides me, a voice spoke in me and said everything will be alright. And as I parted from his arm to stand alone, a part of me felt shredded.

Before the crowd I stood, once more looking at my guards for safety measures and glanced around to all the figures that look up to me from the ground, my eyes float above to the homes behind them, examining the living conditions, before scanning around to the frail the women, the men and malnourished children, sharp pain inflicts itself on my chest when I glared down at a little boy.

His stance was frail, his kneecaps protruding, scrawny arms and legs with dust all over his cheeks. Starved and mucky, and it would seem there were no parents around, just like a young boy I once knew.

"My queen?" I hear Patrick lowly whisper.

I don't say a word, keeping my eyes on the young boy and the other children just like him, young girls and boys. All starved and dehydrated yet they showed out today, in hopes for a change of life.

"My queen." Patrick asserts, and this time he garners my attention and I blink away to look over to his puzzling expression. "The speech my queen. The speech."

Thats right, the paper in my hands, the very paper that I am to read to people about another rich dying person, but nothing to benefit them as a community.

Hot tears lined in my eyelids, as I felt the stung in my nose. This was it; this is where Nasir grew up, this is the town he never wanted me to see, this is -- Well was-- his home. A backstory about him I never knew, his life of living in such pollution and shambles, and despite it all, he never resorted to any larceny, he never spoken words to me that made me uncomfortable, instead he was my biggest fan before I became who I was.

Whereas my own father lied to me countlessly and lying on Nasir's name about him stealing from me. I grew out of that.

My best friend. I am so sorry, I failed you before I even knew it. I failed you first.

"My queen." Patrick asserts and this time I acknowledge the paper in my hands but chose to crumple it away, just as I wiped a pesky tear bead that ran down my cheek.

Confusion found its way onto every face, even my handsome bodyguard, who stole a moment to look at me with his brows creased.

"You expected me to spew a speech about a rich man, forgive me, for that is not what I will do as of today, at the least." I swallow thickly, trying to recede the sob that was crawling up. "My people of the land, as your new queen I must extend you, my apologies."

I overhear a few murmurs and find a few who scowls at me.

"I apologize for the abandonment of the government and the patriarchy that is put in place to keep you in poverty. This will not be a long speech about the past, but instead will be promises that I will work on for the future."

The eyes of children beam.

"As of today, going forward, I will make sure there will be food deliveries, clothing and more clean water."

I get no response. But the widening of their eyes let me know everything they bottled up inside, their frail chests rose up and down as they beckoned me to continue.

Before I could part my lips, I caught sight of something, and my breath rushes from my legs. My brain configures an image, an image of a young Nasir, standing right at the very front of the crowd. I stagger to speak, only summoning choppy breaths as I glared at his face with teary eyes. It couldn't be. Life is just not kind to me even when I pray for it.

Yet despite the obvious illusion, he was all I cared to see. "I understand, these are words you have heard of before." Tears glide down my cheeks as my eyes stuck on the illusion, saying words I should have told him before he disappeared from me. "I would not bare any ill will if you refuse," I sniffled, trembling as I held back the cry. "I reached my crown, because you gave me your back to stand on. And I will repay you for such kindness I didn't think I deserved. Many of you today have mixed feelings whether or not a woman can handle the crown after years of it being worn by a man, but to those of you that are accepting, thank you."

It became too much. The illusion of my old friend, the lives of children hanging by thread, and the scent of dead bodies that I smelt when I first arrived. It became too much, and I bury my head into my palms, no longer capable to hold myself back, releasing the sorrow that had weighed on me for years on end. This time, there was no going back, for this is how I will be viewed, as the weak Queen who tarnished her father's bloodline. But it was than through my muffled cries, came a soft clap of one, then a few that were scattered distantly, but came together to resound a swaying wave.

I peek up, my vision blurs with tears, but fall with a deep blink of my eyes to look at the applause of the people, each face was plastered with a genuine smile, and they were looking up to me.

"You are the very first, to ever step on our land My queen. We believe in your words." A woman says as she continues her applause.

"For once, someone thinks of us as Human. Thank you, my Queen." A young boy said nearby.

"My Queen."

"My Queen."

"Our Queen."

And before my eyes, they all bow down. Only giving me the view of the top of their heads. In my lifetime, the only person to ever bow to me was Nasir, and it was because he always told me that I was his queen with or without the crown. As I try and relish the moment, I watch Nasir's illusion smile gratefully at me before he disappeared like a burning star. His apparition scatters like white sparkles, shifting into the wind, my eyes follow through the bright blue sky despite the putrid air that shrinks my lungs, I never knew when I angled my head upwards, only following the sparkles that than disperse on a spot, and I lowered my head down to see his face looking up to me.

I gasp just as my heart sprints. He gazes at me with admiration, and a genuine smirk as his eyes somehow thanked me, the hammering thud returned in my chest, as always, our eyes meet when I am bestowed with just mere seconds of silence.

But he was slowly becoming my favorite part of the tranquility.

Heat sears my veins, and I gushed tearing away, unable to maintain a steady poise. "Please rise." I instruct with a raspy voice, before clearing the grovel that was mustered in my chest.

In sync the heads begin to rise, I await in silence, still flustered by the small encounter of him and I, but in the peripherals of my eyes something dashed into the crowd, knocking a few figures over, in the midst of the ruckus I take another opportunity to look at my handsome bodyguard for another second, craving to see his striking features and the tone of his muscles.

My heart thundering with anticipation but freezes in seconds to see him launch right forward to me, my lungs constrict out of fear watching a terror in his eyes, his strides are long, and they moved with speed, as if he could see my soul ready to slip and he was determined to catch it.

A blinding light hits my left eye, and as I angled my head to follow it, it is there I see the old man from earlier, his robe ditched leaving him bare to the public, his mouth foams with blood shot eyes, his arm extends outwards from his body angling a gun to my head, roaring with anger.

In time my bodyguards arm wraps around me, just as I watch fire shoot from the barrel, and everything goes white.