Adonai's anguishing roars grated my ear canals as it reached the pocket air in the basement, the red hue of the bricked wall that was once a russet to autumn brown were now splattered with dark clots of blood. The tight confinement seals in the raw metallic rusted scent and I fight the bile bubbling up my stomach.

The flesh around his wrists and ankles were wired tightly by thin silver that were cooked by fire for a few minutes, stark naked, and most of his freshly cut wounds dribbled thick crimson. Every attempt of his squirming was detrimental.

"You're only pushing the rods in deeper if you keep moving like that." Nasir darkly commented, his patience is the only thing balancing on a thin veil. The inked dark gleam that consumed his eyes held Adonai hostage, daring him to move again before continuing his torment.

I watched in terror, tormented by the agonizing wails of his cry as Nasir continued his tactic. Meanwhile, Hector, who sat backwards on a chair closely to the scene, chuckles darkly to the scene. His knuckles painted with Adonai's blood and those rare orbs held the same darkness as Nasir.

A thick plier is brought Adonai's nailbeds. I pursed my lips, my bones contort tightly by the weighing anticipation, forcing myself to stand strong and high as another nail is pulled from his finger.

Like a deep planted root forcefully tugged from the grounds, the nail is plucked from the skin in a tantalizing slow pace, as if Nasir intends for him to feel every tear.

Adonai's screeches grow guttural by the lingering minutes, and ear wrenching to the pain, watching the bloodied nerves dragging behind the loose nail, but he could not move to soothe the excruciation, he couldn't run for his life, or plead for some form of mercy, not when he is paralyzed by a narcotic that was forced down his throat earlier. Beaten black and blue, deep gashes of knife wounds sliced over every part of his skin, and a few missing teeth, many of his fresh wounds sealed with searing iron to stop him from bleeding out.

Despite the circumstance in itself, we planned on keeping him alive.

The room is engulfed with the foul scent of blood, acidic vomit and a sweat inducing heat. But in it, all I felt was a spine-chilling sensation, bearing witness to such a heinous display, and bearing witness to Nasir at the same time. His face and neck splattered with blood, and his eyes vague yet black, his moves articulate and slow, scary to say but it is as though I was watching an artist and his work.

His long dark drape was ditched, and all was left was navy dress shirt which he only rolled to the elbows, long curly silks tied to a bun, and he glistens with sweat by the overwhelming heat, skillfully extracting the nails.

In this domain, I stepped within his normal, the territorial line of those that live in the mafia and my eyes paid a horrendous price. This is him in the present moment, my Nasir, shapeshifted right before my eyes, and now I wonder who it was that I feared most.

But how could I, it was already too late to turn back, I can feel myself falling for him far too fast to pull myself up.

My unsuspecting ogling lingered too long, and his eyes flicked up to mine, his dominance pouring over me and I had the urge to get on my knees. Our small contact spoke more words than intended, his gaze peering beyond my eyes as if searching for that glow in me that I saw earlier, and knowing his effects upon me in the process and his lips tilted wickedly.

Another set of chilled waves rolled down my spine and I turned away, away to Ray in the next room who tends to Javier's wounds. The seemingly calm in this calamity, Hakeem and Carter were forced out the room, sparing them the gory interrogation. Javier and Ray's eyes bonded with unspoken admiration, and it was the second time I get to witness something spark in Ray.

A sickly blow is resounded on the opposite direction, and I scurried out the room, leaving the men to tend to their own matters and not be a burden. I braced myself to climb up the stairs knowing I'd see a ballroom tainted with an array of dead bodies and my toes would soak in that thin river of crimson, but I couldn't watch that dark cloud consume Nasir any further.

I scurried through the mess, my mind spiraling tens of different random things at once to occupy my thoughts. The acrid air clawing my nasal streams and I cupped my mouth and finally stepped out into the nearest porch bathing in the luminescent moonlight and inhaled a sickly portion of cold air. No longer could I hear Adonai's cries or watch the man I adored so much slump into darkness, I needed a new scene, something fresh and I found a view of soft silver clouds drifting graciously in the black sky.

Tears had brimmed my eyes along the journey and damped my lashes, and I felt the wet tickle down my cheeks. I did it, I really did it, I made myself proud for once and established my authority, first step in walking my own life.

But would that mean sacrificing Nasir along the way?

The salty sea air rejuvenated me in a refreshing way, the bright ethereal moon was an otherworldly glow to the dark night and the specs of a million stars twinkled behind it. A majesty to the celestial the night is. But I feared those twinkled dots were the eyes of the angels that glared down to the horrid scene. The scrutiny is silent, but it burned.

No chance now, to repent for my sins, when the stars are the witness.

The sound of a churning latch chimes behind me and I jumped, the porch slid open with an ease, and an essence of cinnamon wafted me from behind and it follows by a soft blow of a gentle breeze. A presence stepped into my quiet cocoon and a thick black cloud gently overlayed the magnetic eye of the moon, dissipating its calming touch. The outstretch of darkness lulled to me, and I turned back meeting the eyes of the man my heart smiles for.

"You stepped away," he purred. The splatters of blood wiped cleanly from his face and neck as he stood above me with an impassive glare. "Are you alright?"

I chocked; all words fight to solidify but the iron stench exuding from him churned the liquid in my stomach. I rendered silent to his question; fearful I may hurt him with what I truly intended to say and instead turned back to peer over the now dark horizon.

"It is asking questions first, then deliver the torture if the person doesn't comply." I said softly, abstaining the slight rage in me.

He stepped closer, his hands digging into the slacks of his pockets. "I'm aware, but the fucker had really irked me the entire time we were here."

"All of this would have been for nothing if he dies Nas." My arms wrap around my body, the beaded bone of my outfit grazing gently over my naked forearms and I suddenly now felt the weight of my crown above my head.

"He will be, don't worry about him. How are you?" the darkness in his deep voice now begun to dwindle, and he stepped in closer. "I didn't want you to see most of that."

Something about that statement made my jaw clench, as if he is speaking to a scared child.

He released a deep sigh, "I'll try to be more careful, and have you escorted when I am tending to these things again, so you won't have to see -"

"But I did so don't worry about it!" Before he could finish, something snapped in me, and it flared a heat straight into my blood.

It fell quiet. I braced the railing, shocked by the outburst.

"What is bothering you, Tiana?" his aggravation is now sparking. "I just vowed to you; you won't see such things anymore since you can't handle it."

I twisted back to him, "And what makes you think I can't Nasir? I followed the plan until the end and saw you beat Axel's head in. And now -"

"Adonai is the one of the banes to your castles curse, and now that we have him right where he needs to be ... you walk away."

I stilled. Speechless. Watching the moon light drizzle down his face, rummaging it all back.

"Tiana, Adonai is right where we planned, our plan, our quiet and patience has finally paid off and now he is our to bend and use until we get the answers we need to locate the cults. I know your weaknesses and I know your strengths. And watching torment is not in you strengthen level, and it is ok, leave that to me. In the end I know your know coward."

The moons majestic light now bathed over his frame, his eyes were now soft, luminating with silver, unmasking that darkness I feared moments before. He still thinks of me, even when he himself knows it will all consume him. There it goes again, me doubting myself worth, and looking for someone to blame and it was always him. Because he was always right there, without me ever having to call him.

Warm tears brim my eyes, and it blurs his face.

"What is it you want Tiana?" he asked me. "What does Tiana desire?"

Those words. But now it is him in the flesh speaking it to me and I have no words to respond, simply wiping the wet drips that slip down my cheeks. Nasir stepped forwards just as the sob was surfacing, his strong hands gently gripping my bicep to steady the trembles, but I pull away, striding back into the room.

"Tiana -" he called out gruffly, I don't respond, frankly I don't even know where I am going, I just needed space. "Tiana, can you stop?"

I was facing the wall when he called out this time, hearing the soft thuds of tears hitting the ground, unlike that small flame that sparked earlier out in the porch, this one was more settled, coursing its touch down my streams more sensually, and I huffed, turning to face him.

"What is it that is making you upset Tiana," he says, cautiously stepping into the room, the massive round moon perched high in the night sky behind him. "I want to be there for you always, but I want to know how much space you grant me before I can step in."

"Can you please just stop!" I suddenly roared before having time to think about his words. But he paused, raising his hands in defense. "Just stop Nasir, stop what you're doing."

"Stop what?"

"Making me feel for you when it we can never be."

I watched a small light grow within his eyes, and his furrowed brows loosened.

"Stop with this statement, stop being the one person that makes me weak, when i am destined to be strong." I began to choke over the swelling lump in my throat, the years of pain I tried to contain for so long finally begun to brim and crinkle my heart like an eroding bottle.

"My life is trapped, I'm no better than a puppet, only polished to perfection, that is my life, a life in which I had no choice. A monarch had never had a queen, so my father hand his friends had a nice laugh at the circumstance. Every single thing I do is judged, many different things were added to my oath that no other ancestor had to follow. If I ask for help, I appear weak, leaving myself wide open for anyone to taunt for fun. But when I hold my head high and not ask for help, I am labeled as masculine and everyone will expect me to save myself, while expecting me to help them. God, forbid I say something about it, cause than I'll be seen as aggressive, but when I keep my mouth shut, they will say I never said anything, and no one bothers to check if I am ok."

Tears stream uncontrollably, but I am finally finding my voice. "I am a joke to many, bringing me down is how many make a living." the sight of his serene eyes, made it easy. "Since I was only a child, I had harsh expectations to live by. Hence why I hated what I was destined to be."

This time it is I that advances towards him; I fell the warm trickling tears gliding in between my breasts until I am within his proximity. "We are not the same Nasir. None of us in this twisted world. Despite our upbringings. As long as I am the crumbs, I just sit there until someone decides to finish me off. I am not protected, and I scream inside. Who really has my back in the end of it, if I had never met you?"

Chest to chest, he looks down at my sorrow in silence, soaking in every word.

"I am tired Nas. I am tired of constantly having to move like I have to manage the world while getting very little respect, or any credit for everything that I have done to make lives easier, tired of working my hardest and finding something meant for me and stolen from my grasps."

My hands had begun to roam over his biceps, clinging to him like he would disappear within a blink. And as my hands trailed to his shoulders, he ceased my wrists in a heartbeat, his palms were hot and his touch firm as if I would disappear from his sight as well. There was a hard look in his eyes, and he stepped forwards, hovering himself above me until his face was all I can see.

"What it is, Tiana wants." he reiterated, slowly and stern. But this time I had an answer to give.

"I ... want for once to feel like a woman. Not a doll or an antique or a collection where my owner decides to decorate me whenever they please. I want to pick flowers, have champagne while I scroll through my phone and not be mercifully crucified for every little thing I do or wear. I - want to go to a carnival and just be Tiana, not a queen or a wife, just me."

His hold on me suddenly tightens, but the mild pain felt that followed was out of genuine place.

"Is that what you want Tiana?"

That voice in me spoke again, saying what I can never say out loud. I wanted so much, but more importantly I wanted you.

A smile wiggles my lips, and I nodded, "Yes. I want to be free for only a day and live life, be normal and ... be with those I admired most, that's it." An airy giggle slips from my mouth along with a wet tear, and another follows.

He still held my wrists, I know he can feel every tremble of my bones as I laughed and cried away, seeing as though I spoke out only a fantasy that never be achieved, a daydream rippled before my eyes and I laughed manically, and through it all Nasir only glared at me tenderly, his grip was neither tight or loose but he wasn't letting go.

I giggled out until I heaved and came back to my unfortunate reality, there is a man being tortured in the basement and the whole estate is full of dead bodies. I cleared the gravel in my throat, blinking out the remaining tears in my eyes. "W-we shou-"

"Let's go to a Carnival Tiana." he cuts me off, and I quirked my brows, keeping still and quiet for him to say he was only joking.

And when he never did, I clear the tension with a giggle. "You're joking right?"

His impassive glare never flinched, glowering right through my eyes with intensity.

"Nas, you're joking aren't you?"

"I'm not joking Tiana, I will take you to a carnival very soon, in fact I will make that my goal."

Every word he spoke was genuine, I felt it in his touch and I asserted my voice, "Nasir, please stop toying around alright. Let's just keep things one at a time."

The firmness in his touch loosened and he pulled me closer, wrapping my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist. Our lips only only an inch apart. "Your happiness is my upmost priority," he said, his breath warm and minted. "Everything else fades when your in front of me, what you desire I will bend time itself to deliver."

His words absorbs into my heart, every flutter was light and it warmed me all around. "I know," I breathed, tightening my arms around him. The more time I spent embracing his touch I felt the mild warmth in me burning in the wake, flipping like a switch.

"Stop letting your thoughts win, for this moment just relax into me and be Tiana. The one who wants me."

"It just isn't that simple Nas,"

"Were in here now," he shrugged, "No one but us. Stop thinking your always under a spotlight."

Slowly that burn molted into my veins and I inhaled a deep breath, gently tugging away, "Did you not hear anything I just said?"

"I listened to every word." he drawls, "But all I heard was the pain in your voice, the need to escape it all-" he stepped close to me, "And I want to open that door for you and let you be free." Something swam in his eyes, those dark pupils were soft and serene.

"It isn't possible Nasir, already being in this room-"

I was cut off by a loud slow groan and I watch his aggravation surface, "Don't start with this. Don't start this whole forbidden bullshit when we went far beyond that line, stop being so repetitive its pissing me off."

I scoffed, "In case you haven't forgotten, we can and will be beheaded for this act, excuse me for thinking logical. Eventually we will get caught than what all of this would have been for nothing, our relationship would have ended before it had the chance to develop. It's just a lot." My heart races.

"And I'm ready to take that leap. You're what I have to lose, all of me exists because I need you, at my side."

My aggravation finally brimming and I groaned, "It's like your not even listening to me, Why aren't you listening to me? matter of fact why are you doing this? why are you speaking these words, why can't you just understand Nas, Why!"

"Because I love you!"