TRIGGER WARNING: FOUL LANGUAGE AND MATURE CONTENT

Song: Plastic Hearts by Miley Cyrus

Spotify Playlist Link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/13Be94OtALisdpN4XRhnNC

*~*~*~*~*

It was a beautiful, cool, and sunny day at Daventon University. Students conversed with their friends laughing and smiling. Within the coffee shop close by, students and faculty sat on tables using the afternoon as their lunch break while across the cafe, a cluster of students were frantically cramming for their pop quizzes and early midterms. 

Located in the college town of Luna Del Sur, California, it is one of the largest universities in Northern California renowned for its students' academic excellence and its football team. Amaya Song was one of the lucky students that received an acceptance letter into such a prestigious university. She was naive to believe that being one of the top students in high school would also carry into college.

She was wrong.

Depression overpowered her and she denied it for many years. She thought there was no such thing. Being Chinese and Filipina, mental health was never a part of her culture's vocabulary.

And that toxic mindset came back to bite her in the ass.

Amaya Song was having a terrible day. Usually, she was the type to be optimistic regardless of the type of situation thrown at her, but today was not it for her. Today was different.

Today, she was officially diagnosed not only with depression but also with ADHD and anxiety. She reread the diagnosis from her hospital's online chart and her psychiatrists' messages concerning her prescribed medications. Great.

And the worst of it all, she just lost her full-ride scholarship. She clicked to a different window on her laptop. She reread the email the head of scholarships sent her over and over again. She closed her eyes hoping it was just a dream. It wasn't.

She needed to find a way to pay for her last year at Daventon University. Disappointment weighed on her chest like a heavy cloud. Anxiety strangled her every breath, and self-deprecating thoughts plagued her mind.

Amaya failed to keep her grades up and for that, she lost her full-ride scholarship. She was 0.01 GPA points away to meet the GPA requirement but her grade from her physics class prevented her from reaching this goal.

She sighed to herself as she sat on the grass in the hub of the student quad. Amaya was in her last year of college on a pre-med track and she had come short on pre-med GPA requirements. Her grades were shit, she'll admit that. If anything, she wished she went to therapy earlier. Maybe her grades would've been better than they are now.

She texted her friend Carter about the news. Amaya slammed her laptop shut and saw that she had five minutes left before her flyering shift began. Amaya worked as a student intern for a medical clinic that helps underserved populations and the spring semester was when they began recruiting for potential applicants. She walked towards one of the navy blue tables in front of the student union area and grabbed the flyers from her backpack.

It wasn't only her medical internship that was flyering and recruiting potential members. There were multiple blue tables lined up in front of the on-campus cafe. Fraternities and sororities were offering free food, organizations and sports clubs were giving their spiels while also handing out flyers.

She forced herself to plaster a smile that would also reach her eyes, even when she felt the exact opposite. She felt dead inside but she knew how to put up a facade when the situation requires it.

A tall guy with curly brown hair was already at the table. He had his back turned and he exuded an aura of warmth and friendliness. The guy seemed overdressed for flyering with his white fitted button-up shirt, gray slacks, and beige loafers. He turned around when he sensed Amaya approaching and gave her a smile and a small wave.

"What's up, Saint!" she greeted. Amaya gave him a one-armed hug and set her black backpack down on one of the chairs behind their table.

Khalid was playing from Kieran Saint's Bluetooth speaker as he continued to hand out flyers to underclassmen and upperclassmen to apply as an intern for their clinic.

Amaya plastered a spirited grin and handed out the flyers for her clinic and answered questions from potential applicants. She was unhappy yet she was able to hide it like a professional. Her wide doe-like brown eyes displayed excitement and her lips had a natural soft pink color to them thanks to her makeup.

Little did people know that below her perfectly applied makeup was an exhausted college student with dark circles, large under-eye bags, and a minor case of eczema due to the cold winter air.

When the crowd of students walking by subsided, Kieran placed the remaining flyers on their table and leaned back on the chair next to her. "Is everything okay?" he asked her.

Amaya froze before she replied with her usual answer to this question. "Yeah! I'm okay, I'm just so stressed for midterms next week." she lied smoothly.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his brown eyes full of concern.

Amaya nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm always stressed, you know this!" she joked. "Thank you for checking up on me," she said gratefully.

Kieran lifted his arms towards her for a hug and she obliged. A hug from a friend would be nice, she thought. After all, this is one of the few good things that happened today so far. She inhaled his familiar woodsy scent. "I lied," she finally admitted. Her face was against his chest and tears were threatening to spill. "I'm not okay at all."

She cursed herself for breaking out of her fabricated demeanor. Amaya pulled away and craned her neck to look at him. Kieran Saint stood around 6 ft. tall, with gentle blue eyes and soft curly brown hair. He was pre-med like her but he majors in graphic design while she majored in neuroscience.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

Amaya sat down behind their flyering table. "I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ADHD. And I also lost my full-ride scholarship," she said dejectedly.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, that's terrible," he replied.

Amaya shrugged and wiped a tear. "It really do be like that sometimes." she chuckled. "I'll find a way to pay off the rest of my tuition this year eventually."

Kieran maintained his look of concern. He told Amaya he needed to go get ready for class. Before they said their goodbyes, Kieran asked her if she likes caramel or chocolate. She was confused on why he would ask this random question but she told him that she likes both equally.

Amaya sat at the flyering table alone with her thoughts for about another hour before her flyering shift ended.

She was falling asleep when a small note was slid towards her. She looked up and saw Kieran. He handed her a large caramel Frappuccino with chocolate drizzle from the North coffee shop on campus.

"I figured you could use a caffeine boost." He smiled.

"Aww, thank you, Kieran! You're so sweet." her heart warmed.

Kieran waved goodbye again before disappearing into the crowd of students just to make it to his coding class on time. Amaya opened the note he left her and smiled. It read

"You got this! :)"

Damn it, she wanted to cry and she doesn't even know the reason why. Kieran only gave her a hug and one caramel Frappuccino and she wanted to burst into tears.

Amaya finished her shift and walked towards the parking lot to meet up with her friend, Carter. She was still sipping the caramel Frappe when she approached him. Carter gave her the exact same drink. He noticed the frappuccino Kieran gave her. "I figured maybe two frappuccinos can cheer you up after all this news?"

Amaya hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Carter," she whispered against his chest. "Thanks for coming with me to pick up my medications today." He gently rubbed her arm and it soothed the ache in her chest. It was a simple gesture, but it calmed her down.

They drove to downtown Luna Del Sur, California which was only a five-minute drive away from campus. She was grateful for her best friend, Carter. He was the first to know of her diagnosis and the fact that she lost her scholarship all in the same day. He was a year younger than her and he majors in business.

She ruffled his fluffy chestnut hair to tease him once they parked outside the local CVS pharmacy. Carter fixed his hair using the rearview mirror. "Dude, I spent half an hour on this hair!" he complained.

"You look good!" Amaya assured him and rolled her eyes. The two friends headed inside and waited in line. Amaya was still holding and finishing both caramel frappuccinos when the pharmacy tech called her over.

Amaya finished paying for her medications and had Carter hold them since her hands were full (with coffee). He looked at the names of her medications. "Whoa, you're taking Xanax and Adderall? Lucky!" he said in awe.

"Yup, I'm really lucky..." Amaya muttered under her breath as they exited the pharmacy.

"You could make so much money from selling these!" Carter suggested. He still looked amazed. It's as if he's never seen pill bottles before. They got in the car and ideas began to swirl in Amaya's head.

"You know what? You're so right," she said. "WE can sell these and make so much profit!" Amaya agreed that she didn't need to take these medications even though she needed them. Food and paying for her college tuition were more important than her mental health.

Before Carter could say something, both their phones buzzed loudly. It was an Amber Alert. Carter and Amaya looked at each other worriedly. Out of all the Amber Alerts they've gotten during their undergraduate years, this one carried the most dangerous message.

One body was found in Daventon University's North Quad. Killer still on the loose. Evacuate campus immediately. 

Thank you for reading! What did you guys eat over the holidays? I ate so much and I also gained hella weight over break lol. When does school start for you? I started on January 4th <3