Every time he saw those eyes, he couldn't help but wince.

Kang Maru knew those fractured gazes. He saw them too often in his life. He saw them when his dad died, and when his mom said that she was going to be very busy to deal with the family business. The tears, the pain was too much at times. 

And he knew that he always had a smile plastered on his face, but it was rarely the case. People called him an open book, and he usually chuckled deep down.

No one asked about it, but he had heard stories from Yuujin. Each of them had been hurt badly by people they trusted. 

And it reminded him of his own pain. The struggle to move on from his dad's death, even five years after it had happened. Coming back to an empty house after school. 

So, one evening, after they had all gathered to talk about Ink Sans, when it was beginning to move onto normal chatter, he spoke up. 

"Actually, I want to know something. Why do you do what you do?" 

All eyes turned to him, but Maru could feel Garam put his hand on his shoulder, while Bora did the same on his other. They knew that it was because of his own hurt, and he felt grateful for that. 

"Why do we do what we do?" Keita repeated, tilting his head slightly. 

"Why you help them when it's clear that they might not want it," he clarified. "Why you still forgive them even after all they did to you. Why you forgave your Fate Changer friend in the non-fictional world after she had hurt you." 

At that, the older members' eyes glazed over. 

"Well," Shirou ran her hand through her lavender hair. "Why do you want to know, Maru?" 

"It's a healthy question," he answered. "You guys were clearly in a toxic relationship with her. She hurt you because at times you refused to listen to her, right? Then why do you still believe in her? Why, even though she doesn't deserve it?" 

"Oi, oi, don't go overboard Kang Maru," Daisuke warned. "You don't know her as we do." 

"But it doesn't change that she hurt you," he shot back. "So why try to defend her? The world would never be happy with someone like her... It's unfair and takes loved ones away from you. But she could have prevented that. Yet she didn't. She took the choice to watch you suffer. And for what, her own entertainment?" 

"Maru-a-" Bora tried to push him down, but he shrugged off her and Garam's hands as he walked over to the senior side and stood in front of them. 

"Explain why you defend someone who wouldn't do the same for you," he looked them all in the eye. "Explain why you would let this person who doesn't even give a damn about your feelings be your leader for so long. I want to know. I want to understand!" 

"Maru!" Garam yelled. 

Yet Maru couldn't stop. It was flowing out of his mouth now as he said, "She's still controlling you now, isn't she? She's still controlling you and me, and is the reason we've gone through all this suffering! All because she's bored, she's creating scars that will never heal! So pray tell me, why haven't you guys left her?!" 

The silence that followed was tense. 

 "Maru..." Kuuka's eyes softened. 

He breathed in more air and tried to clear his own mind. What had gotten into him? He was usually good at holding in his honest opinion, yet it had just flowed out. 

But the older members had gone quiet. As if contemplating. 

"You want to know why we forgave her?" a small voice suddenly asked him.

Blue eyes met red ones as Sachiko looked up to stare at him, firmly answering, "Because she's also hurt. For years, she struggled with her own beliefs and tried to run away from the pain using us. We don't blame her for that. We blame the traditions for that. The stereotypes that this world still has." 

"You guys may not know this, but we were the ones who decided to move to Manna Hill," Keita spoke up. "We wanted to spread our wings a bit." 

"I still remember her smile as we got on the bus," Leo wiped some tears away. "She seemed so happy. I remembered wondering what kind of adventures we would have, and whether we would be able to see her face to face again." 

"Clearly that didn't happen, but she's always there, cheering us on," Semo laughed through his tears. "She uses Wattpad to let us know how she feels, and we all love her for that." 

"You asked why we forgave her. It's because we know that she's trying. Even now, she stayed away from us because she thought she was not the right type of leader to lead us. She believed she wasn't the best Fate Changer," Shirou stated. 

"She's sacrificed herself for us a lot of times, and she wanted us to grow more than anything in the world," Duri continued. 

"She disregarded her own mental health for our sake. She's selfless that way," Ben smiled. 

"In the end, she's still human and entitled to mistakes, but she's trying to learn from them. That's what makes us believe in her, Maru," Natsume finished. 

"But there's no guarantee she feels the same way!" he protested. "For all you know she could be just trying to gain sympathy! I doubt she cares for you at all! She just wants entertainment! She just wants to torture us all for fun! So she can feel powerful-" 

"That's not the case here!" 

Everyone's eyes widened hearing that voice, and heads swiveled over to look at the voice's owner. 

"Wang-nee?!" Takato gaped. 

Lime green eyes looked at Maru as she walked over. The sound of her sneakers squeaking against the shiny floor echoed, and they stopped once she was in front of Maru.

"What are you doing here?" Takuto blinked. 

"I didn't expect this," Tenma mumbled. 

"Neither did I," Ranmaru admitted. 

"I was here to pick up Kai, Haeun, and Jiruk, but I couldn't help but overhear your conversation," she quickly answered the musical soccer player. "I was a bit shocked by what he was saying." 

"Isn't it rational?" he asked pointedly. 

"It is, but matters of the soul rarely involve that. Least of all depression." 

"D-Depression?" Pilseung blinked. 

"She was diagnosed with it on 27 July 2019," the ex-villain who went by the name of Acnee explained. "And she eats medicine to help her mood. But either way, depression is set to bring you down, making you despair to the bottom of your stomach, to the point that you don't even recognize the person you see in the mirror when you stand in front of it. That's what she had to go through. She knew beforehand that something was wrong with her, but her parents didn't want to take her to a psychologist. It was only when she was in tenth grade that she was diagnosed. By then it was moderate. Not light, but moderate. She grew up thinking of herself as the main character because she didn't get enough attention. She was bullied and belittled for so long. She was ignored, and forgotten in her own eyes." 

Maru's eyes widened. Nana's grip on the sofa tightened hearing that. 

"Being called someone with down syndrome didn't help her case. She didn't have any friends at school because she was selfish and didn't have anyone to correct her. Growing up, her only solace was storybooks and fiction. Why do you think she had us?" 

"I-I..."

"Her own anxiety and fear of being alone were what made her do stupid things, but she's learned from them," Sora stated. "That's what makes her good. She may be forgetful, with a lack of normal common sense, easily addicted, and stupid at times, but that's what makes her human, and it's what makes us consider her family. She cries when she watches sad and touching scenes, and she is easily inspired. She's childish, but innocent at the same time. She may have done a lot of bad things, but we accept her as she is because none of us are perfect. Only God is."

"Praise the Lord," Duri mumbled under his breath, earning an approving pat on the pain from the other Christians of the group. 

"So that is why we forgave her. Because she's just like us. Fractured, broken, hurt. The scars will never fade, even if she looks into the mirror and sees normal eyes. She may be confused and wondering about many things in life, but I trust that she will make it through. We all do." 

"And that's why we don't give up on her. Because she is recovering. Time will heal, and so will growing up," she finished. "We are all unique, but we are loved by someone on this earth, the universe, or even the multiverse. She knows that, and she is proud of that. I'm sure of that." 

With that, the question was answered, and everyone was left to digest it. 

"No wonder you helped us all," Demonseu said. 

"Even though we did nothing but hurt you, you helped us," Elze looked down. 

"It's funny how the world works, alright," Dipper chuckled. "But she's totally against toxicity now, and I'm proud of her." 

"She's grown from who she was in the past to a better person, and that's what matters," Mabel smiled. "Who she was in the past doesn't matter. She hurt people. So what?" 

"As Dr. Ramune said in the first episode of Mysterious Diseases Specialist Dr. Ramune, no one can live without causing trouble for others. So let's just choose which trouble," Tianheng quoted.

Kaneki then stood up from his own seat beside Hide and walked over to Maru. At first, the dark-green-haired male flinched, but the ghoul pulled him in for a hug, "We know you lost your dad five years ago, Maru. You don't have to hide it from us. We all understand. If you ever need help, just ask us. We won't push you away. Just let it all out."

He was warm. Like a thermos during the harsh winters back home. He was smiling. Like the sun after the rain had stopped. 

For a long time, ever since his death, Maru had not seen anything brightly. He may have carried himself that way, but that was so far from the truth. 

Yet here... He could let it go? 

Was it really okay?...

.

.

.

Yes, it was okay. He was human, like their previous leader. He was entitled to make mistakes, but he had to learn to get back up again, to grow as a person through them. He had to stay strong despite the waves in life that came at him, and he had to trust his friends to hold him down when a huge one was coming. 

Closing his eyes, the waterworks finally flowed out as Kang Maru, for the first time since the announcement of his dad's death, cried out of grief and pain. 

Kaneki just held him, smiling as he rocked him gently from side to side. The others could only watch, a fond look clear on their faces as the day slowly drew closer to its end, and with it the pain in Maru's heart.