Flashback

We left the restaurant and took me to a parking lot because he wanted to be with me. I looked around and saw no one. I wondered why he had brought me to such an isolated place. I had a heart that pumped a thousand for curiosity, a thousand thoughts passed through my mind, strange thoughts ...

"Come on, we're already a little together, I treated you like a princess and you have not given me any gifts yet."

Here he began with claims, giving gifts to receive something in return. He approached me and took me by the arm, pulling me to him. It hurt me, he was clutching too hard.

"Love, I was thinking about it and I wanted to surprise you, but I still have not found the right gift for you."

I invented an excuse to understand what he wanted from me. In a way I had understood it, I did not think it was true, so I tried gently to move the arm away from her hand, I did not want it to get nervous, I've never seen it like this ...

"Ah, but I have the right gift, I want to make love with you."

I did not believe my ears, that day of which I was afraid, my first time, I did not want it to come already, then in that place, I could not do this, he knew how I thought. I tried again with all of myself to remove these thoughts from him.

"Love but I'm not ready yet, you know it's my first time and I'm afraid." Here I knew that sooner or later I would ask, but I did not expect this way. I was able to free myself from his grip, but I will reaffirm my arm, tightening louder than before. He had left marks on my wrist. I noticed that he was angry even more. His eyes were bloodshot, I did not see him again ... I was afraid.

"Not yet, but what the hell are you saying now that we are together and you still do not trust me, but what kind of person you are, what else do I have to do for you, explain it to me? At this point decide or make love or for me our story ends here ... "

What the hell was he saying, was he really putting me in front of a choice? Oh my God, I could not believe it, he was so angry that I thought he could hurt me. What could I do, I could not lose it. He was the love of my life. At least I thought so ... but it could not be him, if he had been he would have defended me, even from himself. At the same time a thousand flashes left me before my eyes. What could he do to me? If he would hurt me? So I decided. "Ok Danielle courage force me, you can not be afraid of the man you love ..." I repeated it in my mind, I tried to let myself go, even though my heart was threatening to come out of my chest, I was afraid at that moment. But if I did not consent, I thought it could end very badly.

"I have decided, I want to do with you, I'm sorry if I doubted you for a moment." What the hell was I doing, was it really what I wanted? I did not know if it was the right choice ...

"My love you do not know how happy I am, you made the right decision, I love you, you'll see it will be beautiful!

"Danielle what are you doing ..."

It was my inner voice that tried to make me think. "Shut up I know what I do, or so or ..."

I was talking to myself alone.

"Enough I do not want to listen to you, I've decided!"

I made the biggest mistake of my life.

He did not know the meaning of the word love, he could not know it because he was just good at duping the poor girls like me, they looked at the love with the romance that only a girl in love could see. He was very delicate, did not care about anything, just to satisfy his needs. He took me with the violence that only an unscrupulous man could do. I was bad, very, this was not the first time I had dreamed. That first time sweet, delicate, that would have taken you to a pleasure that never existed, what no one would have been able to describe. It was painful, because you know the first time it hurts, but it wears your soul. It was the first and also the last, because after we did it went, brought with it my purity, betraying me with my best friend, from that day I learned not to trust anyone anymore.

End flashback

Max is not Michael, he is special I feel it, I do not know why I am convinced of this, but my heart is sure of it. Will he really be able to bring me back to believe in love? But above all again in myself? A thousand questions but without answers. I just had to start trusting and hoping I would find what I was really looking for. I can no longer live in total darkness, in those paranoia that separate me from being happy and leave me no escape. I have to do it, I have to feel good.