13
Pacifica

        After changing out of her dirty clothes and into a set of comfortable pyjamas, Pacifica felt calm enough to contemplate going back out there to talk to Dipper. She was still absolutely nervous as hell about the talk they were going to have.

        There were too many emotions rushing through her head, most of them conflicting each other. She was relieved that he was back to them safely, but she was frustrated that he didn't just tell them, she was happy that he was alive, and she was beyond pissed that he made the rest of them go through so much pain while he went off on his own.

        Then there was the whole thing with him going after a cult on his own, not informing anyone of what his plan was. Granted, Pacifica knew that all of them would've tried to get involved or even tried to stop him if they had known, but that should've been a wake up call to him. That what he was doing was absolutely dangerous.

And, that ridiculous secret code he sent to Gideon. Why would he have done that if he didn't want them coming to his aid? Not to mention that even if they hadn't gotten a coded message, Pacifica would've flown to Paris to bring him back anyway.

She took her phone off the bathroom counter and checked the time. Alright, seven minutes, close enough to five. Pacifica felt a bit better about talking to him now. Now, there were quite a few choice words she wanted to yell at him, but she needed to stay as calm as possible for as long as she possibly could. Not to have the upper hand, but because she had to figure out what this meant for their relationship.

Pacifica walked out of the bathroom after splashing a bit of water on her face to cool her down and using a spare towel to pat it dry. She was a bit taken aback to see that Dipper hadn't even moved from where she left him. Still standing sentry by the door, as if he was waiting for a second to bolt. He raised his head to stare her right in the eyes as soon as she re-entered the main room.

Pacifica sucked in a deep breath, but kept a good amount of distance between them. God, that was probably the most difficult part thus far. She wanted to drop all vendettas, anger, everything, and rush toward him so he could hold her. Kiss the top of her head and whisper softly to her all sorts of loving affirmations that no one else could hear.

But she couldn't. A more rational part of Pacifica held her back by saying that if she just did that, they wouldn't have a most serious talk about what had happened this past month, or however long he was doing such dangerous things.

"Okay," she exhaled, watching plainly as he watched her with such intense eyes. Intense as they were, Pacifica couldn't read what was written in them. She tried to say something else, but she didn't know exactly how to start. What happened to all her prep-work in the en-suite?!

"Would it, perhaps, be easier if I started, Pacifica?" Dipper asked, his tone careful and lighter than usual. Like he thought if he said the wrong thing she would shatter completely. As sweet as it seemed, Pacifica was nowhere near that fragile.

"And where do you plan on starting?" Pacifica demanded. "From the second you arrived here? Or from when you completely dropped off the face of the earth?"

Dipper bit his lip and glanced toward the window.

"Or, how about you start with why you didn't tell anyone about what you were doing?" She continued, feeling her anger levels rising with each passing second. She couldn't help it, the more Pacifica thought about it, the more frustrated she became. Maybe staying calm wouldn't last her that long, after all. "I wouldn't have cared so much if you had just told someone! Mabel, Gideon, Scarlett!— You just should've explained what you were doing."

"It's not so easy to explain, Pazzie—"

"Don't you 'Pazzie' me." Pacifica snapped. "You can't see how dangerous that was? Hell, the rest of us could've died tonight because of what you were doing."

"That was one of the reasons I didn't tell you." Dipper stated evenly. "I didn't want you getting involved in something I chose on my own to take up."

"Of course we would've gotten involved either way." Pacifica continued, starting to pace the space near her, she still didn't want to get too close to him because she knew she would crumble. "Whether you had told us or you hadn't. Even you should have realised that when you chose to just disappear."

"I didn't just choose to disappear, Pacifica." Dipper retaliated. "After some investigating on my own, I realised that someone was following me. Specifically, someone from the Krefezen cult. I knew the stakes, I knew what I was playing for. But I wasn't going to let them near the people I cared about. After all, they would've just used them to get to me."

Pacifica snorted. "Of course they would've! Everything always is about you."

"It's because I still possess magic, Pacifica. That is what they are after. It's not because I'm special or part of some otherworldly big plan!" He scoffed and shook his head. "They want whatever scrapes of magic that are left in me, because humans aren't supposed to possess magic."

        "That's what the creature from the summer told us." Pacifica nodded, recalling the horrible memories of the summer, when she thought she would've lost Dipper forever. If it wasn't because of her ex best friend, it was because of magic. She thought they had gotten through all of their rough patches. How many rough patches was a relationship supposed to have? Did theirs have too many?

        "Exactly." Dipper snapped his fingers. "The thing is. . .I wasn't coming to Paris because of the cult, I can promise you that."

        It sounded legit, but then again, so did most of his promises. Pacifica couldn't escape the bitterness building up in her.

        "The cult finding out about me was my own fault." Dipper admitted slowly, as if it were a stupid secret about having a crush. "During my stay here, my magic worked. It was at a party for the people in my business class, and for some reason we were playing Jenga that had shots written on them. The person who ended up knocking over the tower would've. . ." He looked back at her, "my apologies, I realise that isn't important to the story."

        It wasn't important to the main story, but part of Pacifica still wanted to hear about it. She had to tuck that away in the corner of her mind to bring up later when their lives and their relationship wasn't on the line. She signalled him to continue.

        "Right, so, I was close to knocking the tower over, so I held my hand out and I felt that familiar pulse of magic through my veins as the tower stabilised." Dipper explained, using his hands to make gestures as he finished his story. Pacifica forgot that when he talked about important things, things that were important to him specifically, he used his hands as he talked.

        "That being said, the cult must've been notified of any magic use near their location, it's how they've managed to track magic and get rid of it so quickly, and they found me." Dipper finished, glancing down at his hands. "I wasn't trying to use magic, after everything that happened back in Reverse Falls, I simply believed that it was a one time occurrence. I've never been more wrong."

        "It's sporadic, like we initially theorised." Pacifica concluded. "But that doesn't explain every occurrence afterward."

        Dipper took a step forward, the first step, but didn't make any further moves, anticipating her thoughts about his presence. "I did what any reasonable person would have done; I started researching and learning everything I could find out about them. It was a difficult process, one I didn't want to involve anyone else in, but I managed to learn what their objective was. . .or would be should they get their hands on me."

        That was a lot to take in.

        "I came to realise that it was just like last summer. That this cult would tear through everyone I've ever cared about until they get what they want." Dipper shook his head before raking his hands through his hair. "I didn't want them getting anywhere near you, near Mabel, or Scarlett or Gideon."

        "As noble as that is, it's still dangerous, Dipper." Pacifica stated firmly. "I understand as to why you would act all on your own, but we defeated the creature together. Neither you or Mabel could've done it by yourself! Do you see what I'm getting at?"

        "Do you see that it is completely different from last time?" Dipper exclaimed, his eyes wilder than she had ever seen them. "Last time, both Mabel and I had magic to help us defeat that creature. Now, the only person who has magic has no idea how in the hell to control it!"

        "Like we said before, it's sporadic!" Pacifica felt her tone rising to meet his, despite how hard she tried to keep it level enough. It's difficult when the person you're trying to talk to keeps trying to justify all their actions by stating it was for the greater good. For him, maybe it was, but not to her. Not to anyone in the room next door, either. "But you sure as hell seemed to know what you were doing back there when you played the hero!"

        "You can't possibly be mad about that." Dipper scoffed and shook his head. "Would you have rather had me not come to rescue you?"

        "How the hell did you even know we were down there!?"

        "It's not like I knew where you guys were."

        "Then how did you know?"

        "I was down there on a reconnaissance task on my own volition." Dipper replied. "Like I said before, I wanted to get rid of them. I happened to get through the doors by blasting through their security system. After that, it was just me trying to figure out who was behind all of this. The rest of you were just lucky I happened to find you."

        It was true, Pacifica was grateful that Dipper had saved their skins back there, but they wouldn't have been down there in the first place if he hadn't dealt with this all on his own. "Fine, but what about that message you sent?"

        Dipper wrinkled his nose. "Message? What the hell are you talking about?"

        "The text message you sent to Gideon before you officially dropped of the radar! Y'know that—!" Wait a minute. Did I. . .did I just catch him off guard? The entirety of their conversation, Dipper knew exactly what he was talking about, like he always did. But as soon as she mentioned the message, he was confused.

        Pacifica pulled out my her from the pocket of her sweatpants and scrolled up in her photos to find the screenshot of the message that she had Gideon send to all of them. Pacifica took a few steps closer to him before she shoved the phone screen in his face. "This message? You sent it to Gideon a few days after you last texted me."

        Dipper's eyes narrowed as he read through the message. "This is an autokey cipher."

"Yes, we eventually figured that out." Pacifica said, dryly. "We know what it says, too."

"So do I." Dipper murmured. His hand reached out to grab her phone, but he stopped himself and quickly murmured a 'may I?' before actually taking it. He took a moment to read over the message, a puzzled expression whisking over his face. "I never sent this to Gideon."

"What on earth are you talking about?" Pacifica groaned, pulling at my hair.

"In case you haven't noticed, Pacifica, I don't have my phone on me at all. After the party. . .the one where we last FaceTimed, way back in November, I received an alarming call, one that I have no doubts came from one of the cult members themselves. After I hung up, I tossed my phone into a random alleyway and didn't go back to my apartment." He tossed my phone onto the bed and dropped his face into his hands. "The person told me my address. . .my Paris address I mean, they ran through my daily schedule as if they had been watching me for a long time. So, I ditched my phone and went in search of a different place to stay."

That was why Matthew was confused about our arrival in Paris. He heard that Dipper was going back to America, when in reality. . . "Then who the hell sent the message to Gideon?"

"Most likely the same person who called me in the first place." Dipper whispered. "Used it as a ploy to get you and everyone I care about in one place where they could manipulate the situation to their favour."

They were following a thread from a sick and twisted puppeteer. "How the hell did they code the autokey in such a way then?"

"What do you mean?"

"It was sent to Gideon, Mabel knew what kind of code it was, Scarlett knew the acronym used at the beginning of the message, and the word that decoded it all was 'Paz'." Pacifica shook her head, feeling all of her thoughts spiralling in her head. "Meaning, all of us held a key to decode the message. How did they know exactly about the rest of us?"

"I told you, they probably were looking into me. I really thought by running and hiding away from them that they wouldn't get to anyone else I knew."

"Your roommate was concerned, y'know?" Pacifica muttered. "He thought you went back home, and as soon as we arrived and told him that we hadn't heard from you in over a month, he really freaked out."

"There was no reason to involve him in this. He doesn't get magic, he didn't deserve to be dragged into such a mess. It's my mess and I should deal with it alone."

"There you go, playing the martyr again!" She exclaimed, exasperated. "This would have had such a different outcome —a better one!— if you had just talked to us!"

"I know how you see this, but you need to know where I was coming from about all this."

"You promised that you would never lie to me, Dipper!" Pacifica yelled. "Yet you kept this away from me, we're supposed to tell each other everything, because we trust each other. But you clearly don't trust me like you claimed to have." She turned away from him, because she couldn't bear to see the look on his face anymore. It hurt too much. "I can't trust you either."

"Pacifica, I—"

"Where the hell have you been?!"

The sound of Mabel's voice yelling from the other room made Pacifica and Dipper startle. He turned back toward the door and disappeared through it. She watched as the door shut behind him before Pacifica quickly followed him. More horrible thoughts entered her mind.

He turned his back on our conversation. And why?

Because he realised that Scarlett was back.

        As soon as we entered Mabel's room, Pacifica saw her standing up and facing Scarlett, clear panic written on her face. Scarlett looked completely unfazed, glancing at Gideon still unconscious on the bed. "My route was the longest out of all of ours. I wanted to make sure that we were completely unfollowed."

        "You have no idea how worried I was!" Mabel insisted, moving closer to Scarlett, but still out of arm's reach. "After everything that happened down there—!"

        "What does it matter? Can't you see that I'm just fine?!" Scarlett shouted, her hands clenching into fists. "You don't need to be worrying over something so small!"

        It would've been such a sweet thing to say to a loved one, except paired with her harsh phrasing and their fight from earlier. . .it was just bitter and sad. Or. . .was it something else?

        "Mabel, is everything okay?" Pacifica asked, going over to her, completely side-stepping Dipper. He was on the back burner for now, Mabel needed her help.

        "Scarlett's just trying to act like her disappearing after we almost got captured is completely fine." Mabel explained harshly. "And that it was beyond ridiculous for me to even care that she was missing!"

        Scarlett simply scoffed, rolled her eyes and then crossed her arms.

        Apparently her relationship wasn't the only one that needed mending. Pacifica gave Mabel a half-hug, because she needed it just as much as Mabel did. Pacifica wanted to tell her about her own thoughts. . .because if her theory was right, Mabel needed to know the truth. The truth that Scarlett was still in love with Dipper. But now was not the time.

        "It's okay." Pacifica said, even though it sounded false coming out of her mouth and out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Scarlett nearly ran over to where Dipper was standing, almost tackling him into the tightest of embraces.

        Dipper almost instantly returned her embrace and there was something so romantic about the moment that it made my stomach drop.

        Mabel saw it too. Her body trembled next to mine, and Pacifica was too afraid to even look at her, because she couldn't stand to see the heartbreak in her eyes as Mabel came to the same conclusion as she had. It was just too much.

        Dipper and Scarlett parted their embrace and that was when Scarlett met Pacifica's eyes, a question in them until her eyes moved to Mabel's. They widened slightly, she almost didn't catch it, but then they narrowed in a flash. A humourless laugh escaped Scarlett's lips as she looked between the two of them. "Are you serious?"

        "Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Mabel demanded, side-stepping Pacifica to stare down Scarlett. "I have at least two of my five senses, Scarlett."

        "I sincerely dunno what you're talking about, Mabel." Scarlett started picking at her nails, but yet she wouldn't meet Mabel's eyes. Or she couldn't.

        Mabel let out a huff laugh, and now Pacifica could see her eyes starting to water. "Are you serious? You freak out on me because I never told you about the magic business, but Dipper never told you either. You're giving me the cold shoulder, and I gave you your space because I knew that was what you wanted!" Her lips trembled and she needed to take in another breath before she continued, and what she said nearly broke Pacifica's heart. "But as soon as Dipper comes back you run right over to him! Like he hasn't been lying to you longer than I have."

        Dipper glanced off to the side, and the usually verbose Dipper Gleeful had nothing to say. That was what broke her heart.

        "Do you still love him?" Mabel asked, point-blank. "It will be easier if you just tell me now, in front of everyone."

        "Of course I love him!" She snarled, as she stared back and both Pacifica and Mabel. Her eyes usually so impassive held shock and betrayal. "But not. . ." Her voice tapered off as if she were holding back her own tears. "But not in the way that you and Pacifica keep thinking I do!" She back-stepped to the door, her gaze never leaving Mabel's or Pacifica's. Eventually, her eyes hardened, like she was closing off whatever emotions that coerced their way into showing. "I need some air." Like that, she was gone.

        Mabel collapsed onto the foot of the bed, her hands covering her face.

        That was when Dipper finally met Pacifica's eyes again, just briefly, but long enough where she could see how his face twisted into disapproval and disbelief. "It's not safe for her to be out there alone," he eventually muttered, and followed her out the door.

        Taking whatever remained of her heart with him.

_____________
I'm just living for the drama here *sips coffee*

I definitely listened to Washing Machine Heart by Mitski while writing this entire chapter 🤦‍♀️ for several reasons, but mainly for Mabel's thoughts, my poor girl :'(