My session with Dr. Steve ended minutes ago. Falling back on the Yoga mat, I stretched my hands and splayed them on the hardwood floor. I stared at the ceiling, thinking about so many things. First, my marriage and how it suddenly tettered on the brink of death. It wasn't my fault.

I did the best I could to protect it. I complied with the rules and even tolerated Stella when I thought I couldn't. Tom broke the rules. He destroyed our marriage. It wasn't my fault. I was willing to revive it, but Tom wasn't.

Narrowing down my thoughts, Mom's pallid face when she was on the verge of death appeared in my mind. She'd told me to protect Grace and thanked me for staying with her, and then slowly her soul had left her body. There was no pain. She'd died peacefully.

Although I knew it was only a matter of time, when it came I was overwhelmed. I sat by her bedside, my lips quivering as rivulets of tears glided down my cheeks. Denial set in. I checked for a pulse, heartbeat, breathing... hoping that perhaps, she wasn't... Or at least a miracle would happen and she'd wake. But she didn't and I sat there, crying silently.

Tears stung my eyes, it hurt. I didn't blink them back. I needed this. Present situation had triggered old memories, reopening past wounds that more or less failed to heal completely. Grief was strange. It knew no limits. Sometimes it came like a tornado, hitting you when you least expected it. Till now I still hadn't completely grasped it. I sank to the floor, crying again.

Then it ceased when the two words rang in my ear. Help Me. I couldn't have imagined it. I had a sharp memory until, of course, I started drinking. I never drank to the extent I'd imagine things. Amy had been behind that window and then Alec showed up. This morning, I thought I'd wake up to dire news about the Bergers. Maybe Amy was at my door in tears, finally telling me how Alec had been abusing her. Or the police asking questions. I expected something to happen today to confirm what I had seen but no. Everything was perfectly fine between the Bergers as usual.

This was puzzling. I shouldn't get close to them, but I knew I would. I needed an answer. I hadn't hallucinated. I couldn't start doubting my memory in the middle of a divorce. I had to be sober. I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees. How should I approach the Bergers this time? I'd have to be prudent now since Alec was always around his wife.

If I made a mistake and Alec found out I knew what he did to Amy behind closed doors, he could get angry. Angry enough to try and hurt Amy. Abusers were unpredictable. Their unpredictability was what made them dangerous. They could take you by surprise at any moment, any time. I'd have to get Amy alone. Maybe invite her over and talk. Without her husband, she'd feel comfortable enough to open up to me. Then after I had confirmed my suspicion, we'd go to the police and report Alec before it was too late.

Easy in thought but a different story in action. I dragged myself from the floor and rolled the mat. Clara was sprawled on the rug when I entered the kitchen, licking her fur. I neared the refrigerator and grabbed a gallon of milk, realizing it was getting empty. It needed a restock. I'd need to go to the supermarket.

I carried the gallon with me to the counter. Amy didn't trust me yet. That explained why she was keeping things from me. It would take some time. What if she didn't have that time? I poured a tall glass and sipped. Trusting someone with your secrets was a very big decision which required a lot of caution. With betrayal being our greatest enemy, it made sense why people wouldn't trust often. I took another sip and swallowed. There were people I wouldn't tell my abuse to, but when it became critical, I'd look beyond that.

Seeking help from the right people was important. It saved you from drowning and making lethal mistakes. I downed the milk, rinsed the glass under the sink, and went upstairs, Amy's voice screaming in my head. Help Me.

* * *

I pushed the grocery cart forward after stuffing it with processed foods. I tried not to think about the Bergers and focus on getting the things I needed. I veered the cart to the next aisle and froze.

Amy stood behind a shelf, pulling out a bottle of Merlot. I watched as she placed it into the cart, and then went for another item. The timing couldn't be perfect. She was alone too. Luck was on my side today.

With a surge of adrenaline, I made it to Amy's position in seconds and stopped a few paces from her.

She looked away from the shelf, placing the box of sugar into the cart. Her face lit up. "Hi, Elodie," she said.

"Hi," I responded, managing a smile.

"We meet again," she said and went for a jam. Returning to me, she put that in the cart and gave it a push. "I didn't know you shop around here."

"This is the only closest supermarket in town," I said. "I'm glad I bumped into you. I need to ask you something important." I tried not to sound too serious, but my voice wouldn't let me.

Amy looked relaxed in contrast to me, which made me wonder if she wrote Help Me on the glass pane. Clad in a belted knee-length dress, she did look pretty.

"Hope everything's fine."

Nothing was fine ever since I met the Bergers. I was lying all the time, and now I couldn't tell between what was real and what wasn't. To top it all off, I felt like an intruder, constantly inserting myself into their somewhat perfect life while they hadn't invited me. But then something dawned on me. Neither Alec nor Amy got upset anytime they saw me when they could sense I was up to no good. Amy was always telling me to have dinner with them, and Alec smiled at me each time we met.

Maybe they didn't think I was intruding on their marriage space and my presence seemed to be enjoyable. But come on! Any newlyweds should get upset when their neighbor was hovering around them. Was it possible they didn't sense I had been stalking them? Well, this time, I met her by chance. No planning.

"Yes," I lied. "About yesternight. Did you-"

The sickening clomp of someone walking down the aisle cut me off. There was recognition in Amy's eyes when she saw the person. Who was that?

I turned around and almost frowned. Alec again? Great. She wasn't alone after all. What was I even expecting? That her husband would let her out of sight for just a second?

With the exuberance of a teenager, Alec strode to the section where we stood, clutching his phone. When he neared us, he lifted it, relief plastered on his face. "I found it. It was in the back seat."

Smiling, Amy said, "I told you."

He sighed, narrowing our distance. "I was so scared I'd left it at the diner." He moved his eyes to me and smiled. Beads of sweat danced on his face, and I could hear his breath. "Hey, Elodie. Getting some stuff for the house?"

I cleared my throat. For the first time, I wasn't glad to see Alec. "Yeah. On the verge of running out."

His smile widened. "It's nice to see you."

"You too." I waited, my heart pounding, thinking they would say something about last night but no. Nothing. It was as though it didn't happen. If they were pretending, then they were really good. But their silence about yesterday could also mean something else, which I didn't want to hear. Amy hadn't been behind the window. I had imagined every scene. Excellent. Now I was crazy. If I couldn't trust my memory, what could I trust?

I suddenly felt a lump in my throat and a churn in my stomach. I wanted to throw up at the thought. My memory wasn't reliable. That sounded very bad. I wouldn't give up. Not yet.

"We'd be going out tonight," Alec said, bringing me to the present. "Want to join us?"

Another opportunity. When one door closed, another opened. "I'd love to. Just where are we hanging out?"

"Murphy's Inn," Amy responded. "A local bar. Fifteen minutes ride from the farmhouse."

Bar was the last place I wanted to go right now. I was trying to quit drinking and it wasn't a good idea to be surrounded by what I was trying to quit. While good habits were difficult to maintain, bad habits were so easy to give in to.

"All right. I'll be there."

Alec grabbed the handle of the cart and took Amy's hand. "We're headed to the counter."

"I'll grab a couple of items, then I will join you guys." I waved to them. "Later."

In unison, they waved to me, chrousing, "Later."

They turned and strolled to the counter. I watched them, thinking... What are they hiding?