unrealistic

"Aunt Sarah, I'm going out. Mel is already in bed and Julian is making out with Meg in the living room."

She looked up from her book. "Your mom would think that's funny. It worries me. Should I be letting him make out with Meg in the living room?"
Jess chuckled. "No worries, Aunt Sarah. He's not doing anything. Not right now, at least."

"Should I be worried about where you're going?"

"Not really." She walked into her aunt's room and sat at the foot of her big bed then gave her a cheesy smile. "He's eighteen and I'm soon to be eighteen so the truth is what you're worried about has already happen. We're good."

"And Mel? I'm not doing a great job with her, am I? I'm so wrapped up in myself."

"You're doing fine. Better than fine. You're not alone. We are doing this together, the four of us. We'll help with the baby too. I can't wait to meet the little one. I'm great with midnight feedings and Julian gets up way too early so he can have that shift. We'll be like pros before you know it."

Her aunt's eyes misted. "At first all I could think about is how horrible it was that Chad would never know this child. How horrible it was for God to give me a child when he just took two away from me. I know I wasn't holding on very well, but the only reason I was holding on at all is because I knew your mom wouldn't want me to give up while you and Mel need me. Now.... Now I realize this baby is like getting a part of Chad back. A part of Michael and Rue."

"I think so too. Every day we'll see little things that will remind us of them."

"Just like having you and Mel is like having your mom here. She'd want you to have a good time tonight. Be safe. It's a school night so you have one-hour, young lady."

Jess popped up and gave her a quick kiss and hug. "Love you. I won't be late, you old slave driver. This baby is going to be so lucky to have such a cool cousin."

Sarah smiled. "He will be. Now move it. You're down to fifty-five minutes."

Jess wasn't so worried about that. She had fast transportation. She stepped outside her door. "Dez, fetch Kellum for me."

"As you wish."

She crossed her arms and tried to look stern, but she knew she wasn't pulling it off very well.

After that whole thing at the studio, she should be more freaked out than ever. Dude had gotten really thick in the nitty gritty. She should be running for her life.

He materialized right in front of her already wearing a soft smile and looking glad to see her. She sighed. Running had been her plan. Throwing up as many roadblocks as possible. Fighting tooth and nail. Now, she wasn't so sure. Maybe all his deep dark talk of forever could be just that. Talk. It only had to be more if she wanted it to be more. No one could take her choice away from her.

She chose to face this like she always did. Head on. He was a hot boy who has caught her fancy. Maybe even more than her fancy but her fancy could be a good starting place.

"You've been worried about something."

"What are you wearing?"

Jess rolled her eyes. "They're called shorts, and yes, it is a little chilly tonight so get me out of here."

"Shorts? Why are you wearing them? Your legs are bare."

"Stay with me, big boy." Smiling, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "If we are going to date then I need to see where you live."

She loved the way his arm always went around her waist so that he had a free hand that could touch her face. Her hair. He did so now even though he was frowning.

"Where I live? Date? And why are your legs bare?"

They appeared in his cafeteria.

"This is your room? You're kidding, right?" His eyes narrowed just enough to let her know he was waiting for her to answer his questions first.

"Shorts. Everyone wears them. You probably haven't seen them because it's a little chilly for them. I get hot at night, so I sleep in them. I was getting ready for bed and I felt better, and I realized that you didn't, so here I am. Why are you so worried?"

"Not worried. Just a lot to think about. I just left a meeting and there are decisions to be made."

"If you're busy I could go."

His warm lips touched hers for just a moment. "It was like you read my mind. I wanted to see you. Now about these shorts_____."

With another eye roll, she pushed away from him. "Is this really your room?"

"It has everything I need."

"You have one counter. The only thing missing is a dead body for you to cut on."

He frowned. "Why would someone cut on a dead body?"

"Dez can explain an autopsy later. Tell me you don't sleep on that thing." His legs would hang off at the knees. Both shoulders would hang off.

He was amused as he caught his hands behind his back. "Dezrick, my bed."

It rose out of the floor. She'd never seen a bed so big in her life. At least ten people the size of Kell could sleep in that damn thing. There were half a dozen pillows the size of her.

"My chair and files."

Four jumbo screens and a huge chair that looked like a throne but more comfortable came from the floor.

When she sat on the bed, she knew her eyes lit up. It was divine. Seriously, the most comfortable thing she's ever sat on.

"There is also a bathing chamber, a hot room. Two large dining tables. A uniform room and my own workout room." He looked around. "Probably more but I do not do much more than sleep here. I have a few workstations like this one all over the ship."

"You're government, right? But wear grey because you're royal?"

"Something like that. One day you will be royal as well."

"What are you working on?"

He blew out a deep breath. "Many things. Combining two races is not as easy as it might look."

Kellum walked to his chair and moved things around on one of the screens.

Jess moved to his side.

A picture came up of a boy, maybe a year or two older than her. Then another picture came up of one of his people. Very pretty. Grey blue eyes. The girl was no more than fifteen.

"You know the trouble we been having with anyone with numbers higher than ninety percent. It could be a human thing, or it could just be the high numbers. It has been a lifetime since we have seen numbers like these and then only rarely. Pensley and Frey are the highest in my generation. We have only had about a dozen above a ninety-five. To have one at ninety-nine...." He shook his head in amazement.

"Macie?"

"Yes. We should not have been so surprised that their mate marks came so quickly. These matches are important to us. As close to perfect as we can get. These two are ninety-five and both immune. They have a good chance at offspring. He only arrived a week ago. He is also her only match. He has more but all of them eighty-five and under."

"In our world nineteen-year old's do not look at fifteen-year old's. He's not giving you the response you want?"

"We do not expect him to be with her. That is against our rules as well."

Her eyes met his. "You just expect him to wait for her. Three years? Seeing her an hour a day? Are they mated?"

"No."

"Thank God."

"It makes no difference, Jessalynn. They are meant to be. It will happen."

"Hopefully not any time soon. Wouldn't it be better if you kept them apart? Forget the hour a day. No contact. Don't open up that can of worms."

"They are meant to be. He has had at least two lovers since getting here. How can that be right?"

She walked away and dropped back onto his bed. "Not right but not wrong either. You can't ask him to wait three years. Your people might can, but most of mine won't. Hell, Kell, most married men couldn't do what you're wanting him to do."

"They would if they were mated to the right ones."

"Maybe that's true but______."

"No maybe, Jessalynn. Once mated he would not be able to touch another. Nor would he want to."

"Then like I said, keep them apart. Once she's eighteen or at least closer, then put them together and see what happens."

"And all the women he is touching? All the women he does not belong with?"

"They won't matter. Not to him. Not to her. Not if they are really meant to be together."

Kellum studied her. She could tell he didn't like what she was saying but he was listening. He was giving everything she said some thought. That was more than he would have done a few weeks ago.

She looked passed him to all the files on the screens. Everything about everyone was right there. Everything about her. They probably knew more about her than she knew about herself. "Is my past a problem for you?"

"A problem, no, but I am unsure how I feel about it. Especially after my reaction to you kissing another. I will not lie, I do not like the thought of another touching you." He left his chair and all of it went back to wherever it came from. "Will it change how I feel about you? No. Nothing could do that."

He went to his counter and started playing with the clear smooth top. Two drinks came up and a peach.

Seeing the coke on ice made her feel like a wimp. A gushy, soft drooling wimp. The guy couldn't be so perfect.

Before she could perch on the counter two chairs appeared.

He watched her eat her peach while he sipped his blue stuff. She didn't let it bother her since she knew he was still thinking about everything she'd said. Maybe even thinking about her jaded past a little too much.

A world where you were never with anyone but the one you're supposed to be with? Sweet but unrealistic.

His world. An eighteen-year-old virgin. Dear God, finding one among her people would be near impossible, and they had a whole planet full of them.

She wouldn't lie, it wasn't a completely unpleasant feeling knowing there was no one before her. There would be no one after her.

If she bought in to all this. And she was really starting to think she did.

A warm cloth appeared so she cleaned up. Finished off her coke and stood. "Dez, no couches or love seats?"

"No, human Jessalynn."

"Mel sleeping soundly?"

"Yes. No tossing and turning. Heart rate normal."

"Good. Don't let me be late."

"As you wish."

"Come on, big boy. We are going to have another lesson."

Kell sat his drink down. All worries gone from his eyes. "You know, it is highly inappropriate to have you in my room at night."

"Your people need to loosen up some. I'm being good. Now pop us to the middle of that big ole bed."

Before he could frown, she took his face in her hands. "I want you to hold me while we talk about a few things."

Just as she expected, before she could blink, they were where she wanted to be. His arm was already around her so all she had to do is turn in his arms. Her cheek resting on his chest, a hand on his stomach. For someone so hard he made for a nice pillow. "Comfortable?"

"Yes." He whispered against her forehead. "Jessalynn, if I have ever made you feel like my people are smarter than yours, I apologize. We are wrong to never touch or hold."

"Thank you for saying that. I know we need some improvements. I'll think about everything you were saying."

He kissed her cheek softly. "Will you think about never wearing shorts again?"

"Don't like my legs." She grinned.

"They are bare."

"If you don't like these, you're going to hate swimsuit season."

Knowing he was about to ask, she ordered Dezrick to show him. She expected for his screens to come back down but instead the whole wall in front of them lit up.

They were both amazed.

He was amazed and appalled. "You go out like that? Dezrick, that is enough. Jessalynn, do not even answer that. You will wear no such thing. I will have them banned right away."

Her chuckle died when she looked up and realized he wasn't joking. "What will we swim in?"

Without being asked Dezrick put up several videos of people in pools and on beaches.

He was so clearly upset by the whole thing that she decided to worry about it later. To distract him, she leaned up on her elbows and started running her fingers along his jaw. "You should be proud of me. I didn't even freak when I realized I could feel that you were upset. Well, only for an hour or so. Then I decided to be more open to all of this and give it a real try. If you make me a promise."

His fingers ran through her hair destroying her braid. His eyes were on her. Her heart gave a sigh.

"What promise can I give you, Jessalynn?"

"That we do this slow. You probably think I move fast but I don't. Not when it counts. I've spent the last four years staying away from anyone I could actually fall for. I want to go slow, and I want my destiny in my own hands. I decide if this is what I want. No number, no mark, no advisors telling me who I'm going to be with. Who I'm going to care for, and if I decide this isn't what I want you have to accept that."

"You want me to let you go?"

"If it comes to that."

"There is no way I could do that. Just as there is no way you could want me to. I believe in this, in us, enough that I will make you that promise."

Her whole body relaxed. Until that moment, she hadn't realized how worried she'd been over his answer. "Thank you." She whispered, as she tucked herself back into his arms.

"Dezrick, give Jessalynn the stars."

The whole room went dark then there were stars everywhere. Not just on every available surface but close enough to touch.

Jess reached for one but instead of her hand passing through it, it danced along her hand then floated away. "It's beautiful."

"Does not even come close to you. The real stars do not even come close to as beautiful as you are."

Damn those eyes that were telling her that he was telling the truth.

The first kiss was no more than a soft caress. The second a mingling of breaths, a promise. Just like before she felt like this kiss would change her. Consume her, but she wasn't afraid this time. If she was afraid of anything it was that he would pull away.

As if he knew her thoughts, he took her face into his hands, whispered her name against her lips.

Who knew a kiss could touch you to your very soul? Being lost and consumed was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Her hands held on tightly, still afraid that he would pull away.

His arm went around her, pulling her closer. His grip as tight as hers. She realized that he wasn't reading her fears. He was afraid she would put a stop to the most amazing kiss in history. The most tender moment in her life. Tears flooded her eyes and on to her cheeks.

His lips leaving hers were a slow process that ended as he moved on to kiss her cheeks. Her eyes.

She was left trembling and unsure of how long they'd been standing in her room. She did know it was a long time before she felt the ground back beneath her feet.

Using the pads of his thumbs, he brushed the tears from her face. Even after she was standing on her own, so close they could have been touching but wasn't, he never looked away.

His eyes heavy. Alive. His glance a heady as a caress.

Boy, was she in over her head.