undoing

"You going to be able to hold on to your cookies?"

She glared at Johnny who held up his hands. "It's a legit question. You look a little green."

"I'm over my stage fright. I just remembered that if they don't like it, they can bite me."

Brady threw an arm around her. "Then why are you hugging that trash can?"

She hadn't known she still was. She sat it away from her. "It has occurred to me that I'm going to cry in front of all these asses. I hate that."

"Suck it up. There are worse things."

"What Johnny means is that a true artist is prepared to put blood, sweat, and tears into their music. Anyway, there's no time to up chuck. We're going out."

"Cool."

Chris stepped around them. He was just ready to play. He didn't care about anything else.

Once her eyes adjusted to the dim lights, she found Julian in the crowded room and promised him retribution with a look. Was there anyone he didn't make sure was here? Every damn chair in the room was taken.

She hadn't planned on looking Kell's way, but his eyes were like a magnet to hers.

It was amazing how much a look could say. He was glad to see her. Had missed her. Longed to touch her.

The whole room disappeared around her. Nothing was pushing him a way. A promise.

Peace poured over her and through her.

Tonight, wasn't about her fears or doubts. It was about everyone who was missing from her life. About saying goodbye to her mom. To Danny. And Kellum made her strong enough to be able to do that.

"Are we doing this, honey?"

She gave Brady a nod. Him and his brother have been pushing her about singing. She was the one to decide that if she was going to do this, then she was doing it for her family.

"This one is for my mom." She smiled at Mel. "Our mom. Everyone called her Charlie. This was her favorite song, so you'll have to bear with me, this isn't going to be easy."

The guys around her started up the band.

"She always made me sing it for her. She said that this is how all mothers felt about their kids. I don't know about that. I think we were just lucky that way."

Tears were already filling her eyes.

"I can't imagine any greater fear. Then waking up without you here. And though the sun would still shine on, my whole world would all be gone. But not for long."

She knew the words well; she just hoped all her emotions were there for everyone to feel. For her mom, she would open herself up to everyone and she'd leave none of herself hidden.

Every ounce of love, every ounce of her grief was there in every word.

She was so lost in the song that she no longer noticed the tears running down her face. No longer noticed the crowded room. She was back home in the living room singing to her mom, Mel, and Danny.

Her mom's love would be shining in her eyes. It was always there. All the way to her last breath.

When she came to the end of the song, her eyes were on Kellum's. His eyes held all the love she'd ever hope to see there.

They shined and glisten with his own unshed tears.

As she looked around the room, she realized that there wasn't a dry eye in the whole bunch.

"The next one was a favorite of my mom's too. I'm dedicating it to my brother Danny." She had to give herself a moment before she could speak again. "And Michael and Rue."

Jess gave a quick look at Brady who gave her a thumb up.

Surely, he was a good enough friend that if she was making a fool of herself, he wouldn't have let her continued.

This song was about Angels. She used to call them little demons, but they hadn't been. Danny had been a sweet angel. He'd had some much more life to live. They all had.

They should be here.

As she sung the last verse, she looked at her aunt. She was crying but she was being strong too. Her arm around Mel. Julian's arm around her. She looked stronger than Jess has seen her looking in a long time.

The one who looked like he couldn't live through this was Kell. He didn't know how to handle seeing her pain.

"Okay, enough of this crap. This song is for my uncle Chad. He wouldn't want us standing around here crying for him. He'd want us rocking. Brady, a little help if you don't mind."

He winked. "Let's get this party started."

His guitar solo brought her back to life. Oh, my God, Brady Shaw! Was it any wonder she loved music so much? It was a way to free yourself.

"Just take those old records off the shelf. I'll sit and listen to them by myself. Today's music aint got the same soul, I like that old-time rock n roll."

Before long she was crying and smiling. Singing and dancing.

Leaving the stage behind, she threw herself at Julian who laughed and gave her a twirl before depositing her in front of her aunt and sister. They all danced.

As much as everyone had always said she could sing good they've also told her she was the worst dancer. But who cared? They were dancing for mom and Danny. For Michael, Rue, and her uncle. For Julian's parents. Because they weren't here. Because they were here. Just because.

"I love that old-time rock n roll."

Smiling, Julian gave her another twirl.

"You know everyone probably thinks we're crazy."

"Let them." He shouted back at her as he let her down so he could give Mel a twirl.

Aunt Sarah caught her and hugged her tight. "Thank you. Now, get back up there. You've always been a beautiful singer but tonight everyone in this room is in awe of you. Give them more."

She did as she was told. The worst part seemed to be over. She didn't know why she'd even been afraid of doing what she loved to do. This is who she was. A girl who loved her family. Who loved to sing and hated to run. Sucked at dancing and beating around the bush.

"I wrote this one for my mom. You may not believe this, but my bad attitude came straight from her. She taught me everything I know."

All the humans were dancing, either on their feet or in their chairs. The little green men were watching Jess like she had grown an extra head.

That only fueled her on more.

"Okay, everyone. This is my last one. We will be doing this every Saturday night so if you have any requests leave them the week before and we'll get to everyone's. This one is for Julian. For his parents. They weren't much for a good party, were they? But your mom did like her a few oldies but goodies. I'll never forget the time we were driving in the car with them, going who knows where, and this song came on. Your mom kept looking at your dad in a way that was damn embarrassing. I swear until that moment I really thought they'd never had sex."

Julian squeezed his eyes tight and chuckled. When he opened them, she could tell he was thankful for the memory. It was a good one. They had laugh about it for hours.

This was a song about needing someone. Wanting someone until you could think of little else but that yearning.

Kellum looked like he hadn't moved since she'd started singing. His eyes no longer held tears. They held a furious need that shook her.

Her sweet guy was going to be the death of her. Didn't he know better than to look at her like that when they were surrounded by their friends and family?

She wondered if she was being as embarrassing as Julian's mom and dad as she sang to him about how much she wanted him to be in her arms.

Jess smirked a little when he stood up.

"Human Jessalynn, I need you to cease what you are doing. You are having an effect on all of our kind and they need to be evaluated immediately."

Dezrick spoke from her wrist band. Jess's voice trailed off as she looked at all the aliens in the room.

He wasn't lying. The way Kell was looking at her, was the way all of them were looking at her.

Wide eyed, she looked back at Kellum.

He still looked over heated, but he was becoming an old pro at that. Not so for his people.

With a wave of his hand, he disappeared from her view. Or she must have disappeared because she was in his room in the middle of his big comfy bed.

She chuckled, the irony of it not lost on her.

She snuggled deeper into the bed with a smile. Could he be as perfect as he seemed?

Jess chuckled again. Guess he couldn't be, or he would have joined her.