"Relax, I didn't let him have revenge sex with me".

"Zayn!"

"Okay, fine. I may have considered it".

"I told you he was in a mood. Why would you go there without calling me?" Zayn and Travis don't have a cherry history.

"I told you I had a plan and so far, it's been going well. Do you want to hear it? Or will you rather be a petty octopus?"

"What?"

"Let me educate you, biggie".

"Fine. What did he say?"

"Well, he asked me to get the fuck off his front porch. That it is quite dumb that you need a medium to communicate with him now". I could punch something, good thing Remy isn't here.
Their relationship has gotten better to the point of sharing drinks and general opinion but sometimes it takes a 180 so fast I'm left reeling from the spin.

"Then I told him I wasn't there for you and he let me in. The rest was smooth sailing, all it took was a threat from Meghan".

"What are you talking about?"

"Go home Jake. Talk to him. Like I always tell you, you can't punch your way through every problem but maybe he will. At least it'd be a start". The motherfuckers hangs up before I can get any word out.

Go home Jake, talk it out Jake, tell him the truth Jake. There can only be one truth and that is you love only him.

   I drive home like a maniac, pretty confident about the words that I am going to say to him but once I pull into the garage, they desert me. I walk into the house nonetheless and straight onto the beach porch where I know he is seated. The crying cricket greet me first as I open the sliding door, then the smell of the blooming flowers.

Travis is sat faced away from the door on one of the two recliners back here and there is a glass of whiskey in his left hand. It concerns me but I am not going to hold it against him, it is my fault. I take the only available seat beside him and remind myself he deserves to hear everything I have to say.

"I would apologize again but I've been told an apology doesn't mean much without an explanation and I'm sorry that I do not have one suitable. Shit, I apologized again. Sorry". I want to club myself in the head but all does is stare at the half moon.

"I know this is going to sound very douchy but it didn't mean a thing to me and I know it doesn't justify it and I'm not trying to do that. I just_ it was a mistake and I just need a chance to prove that to you, to prove to you that you are all that matters to me". He sighs deeply and shut his eyes tightly.

What I am doing is selfish, asking him to stay with me after what I did but is it so wrong to ask for a chance to correct a mistake? I never in a million years wanted to hurt him and even more than that, never want to be apart from him again.

"Zayn came by. He is having a weekend getaway to mark his 24th birthday and he is inviting us".
Leave it to my bestfriend to throw a party in the name of helping me out. Travis doesn't look at me as he passes the information so I can't read his expression. His steely voice doesn't help either.

"We don't have to go if you don't want to".

"It's Zayn, of course we have to go. Plus Meghan is threatening to clear out the garden and turn it into a court. I don't see a way out".

Well, bless that woman and her top notch threats. You don't want to know how many she's actually gone through with.

"Jake?" He calls after a few minutes and I turn to have him stare at me square in the eyes.

"Do you want a breakup?"
"No". I try to put as much conviction as possible behind the word. "Never".

"Okay".

I remember the last time I asked the same question and his reaction. Maybe, just maybe, I don't get to lose him in all these.

********************

"You pack like a girl". Sensitivity has never been Meghan Summers stronghold and I guess it's one of the reasons we've never really clicked.

"I pack like someone who doesn't like to be stranded". I reply as I wheel my suitcase down the driveway with my backpack hanging off my right shoulder.

"I don't think that is how it works. Hurry the fuck up". She's leaned beside the open door of Newt's minivan, everyone else is strapped in.

I put my bags in the trunk and climb into the backseat beside Travis who looks ready to nap, it's cute. I can already feel my legs cramping, I wonder how this is comfortable for anyone.

"Couldn't we have driven there separately? No offence Newt but this car isn't for grownups".

"No, it's not for giants. Quit being a baby Jake, it's only an hour". Meghan says as she gets in next to Pokello on the middle seats and slides the door close.

    As expected, Travis is asleep within the first ten minutes. I don't know how he does it but he manages to make himself comfortable enough to fall into a deep sleep regardless of where he is. I keep myself busy between watching him and switching the position of my legs but the next time I turn to him, his eyes are open and he is looking back at me with a bit of concern.

"Are you okay?" His voice is groggy but it doesn't carry over the women's chatter and Zayn's insistence for Newt to fucking step on it. The poor man is simply concerned for his pregnant wife and Zayn seems to have forgotten what that feels like already. Only I catch Travis's question.

"Yeah, I'm good". I try to whisper back. "Just crammed is all".

I watch as his hand rises then stop short of my left knee. He pull it back to himself and look out the window. I don't know how we got here, this isn't us, we don't hesitate no matter what. If this is how he felt the morning he lashed out, I can understand his hurt, I can feel it

The ride goes on pretty much the same with the girls laughing and Zayn making jest of Newt's driving but Travis doesn't go back to sleep, he doesn't spare me another glance either.

"Crank that up!" Meghan suddenly yells and her boyfriend complies. I hadn't even realized the radio was on but soon, the car is filled with Bruno Mars' voice singing the chorus of Billionaire and the girls go crazy.

Pokello has one hand on her stomach and the other in the air while Meghan drums on the back of Zayn's seat. They shouldn't be allowed to ruin the song for the rest of us with their not so pleasant singing but who is going to tell them that? Definitely not me.

"Babe come on, you like this song". Meghan chides

"He does?" That's Pokello.

"I do not". My bestfriend tries to sound convincing but he does love the song.

"Travis loves it too". Pokello reveals. I did not know that, he doesn't listen to a lot of music.

"Can I just sleep?" He grumbles next to me and I almost laugh at his frustration.

"Alright y'all. Come on, sing it or I'll make sure you regret coming on this trip". Another classic Meghan Summers threat.

"I already do". Zayn could have been quieter with his response.

"I can make it worse. Believe me". Next thing, we are all singing about being billionaires, even Newt who doesn't seem to know the first thing about the song.

It feels like the icebreaker that we all needed because after singing along to three more songs, Travis doesn't seem as intent on napping as he did before, instead he let himself get roped into a discussion about ventilation with the girls.

We take two pee breaks solely for Pokello's sake and on the second one, Zayn ask me to go get snacks for the remaining twenty minutes because the ones he packed are to fat into the trunk and why exercise patience when you can just throw money around.

"So". He says as he grabs a big bag of Cheetos.

"So?"

"How far are you with the speech?" He grabs another.

"I am not writing a stupid speech and why do you need all that Cheetos?"

"Meghan hates them". He answers like it's the simplest shit on earth.

Zayn has always been an annoying little brat. At twenty-four and as a father, you'd think some sort of change would have occurred but no, he still does crazy shit like pissing Meghan off. It's just his luck that she happen to love him.
He turn away from the shelf holding a variety of unhealthy snacks that he knows I love and fixes me a hard stare.

"Seriously though, how are you holding up?"

Zayn hasn't always been like this, he picked up the habit after I came out to him. He said he was a shitty friend for never noticing and refused to let me convince him that it isn't something you know until you are told. I like that he shows concern but sometimes, like right now, he takes it too far.

"Nothing happened to me Zayn. I am the one who cheated on an amazing man that loves me, the person you should be asking that question is Travis".

"Yeah but Travis is not my bestfriend, you are". He says, like he had expected me to reply in that manner. "And Jake, being the offender doesn't mean you don't hurt too".

He is doing that thing where he tries to look into my soul. It never works but today, it brings tears to my eyes.

"When did you become such a sap?" I attempt a joke and he smirks.

"Been hanging with you all my life, something was bound to rub off".
I take some of the snacks out of his hands because the idiot refused to use a cart like a normal person and walk to the register.

      Meghan rolls her eyes when we get back with four bags but doesn't say anything. We get to the cabin in thirty minutes, thanks to Newt's snail speed. We all call it a cabin because that is what Meghan's sister Gracie called it when she gifted it to them at Meghan's baby shower but really it's a standard apartment made purely from fine wood. The whole thing screams wealth and it's what you'd expect from someone married to Stuart.

It was too short a trip to be tired but the only one who seems pumped is Meghan. I turn to Travis as we wait to get our luggage out but find that his eyes are already on me and he doesn't look away. This could be good or it could be very bad.