Fault

I TREMBLED ON MY bed and tried to catch my breath back after having the worst nightmare. For me, the worst nightmare is when your brain flashing back the memory you hate or scare the most. And it was what happened to me.

I dreamed of the moment when Myundae broke up with me. I didn't regret for breaking up with him. It was actually a bless to me. At least I'm not having a relationship with someone who's toxic and doesn't love sincerely. But everytime I remember about it, it'd make me feel unwanted, unloved and scared. Was I that bad that he was willing to ditch me just for a random bimbo? It made me feel worthless and useless at the same time.

I was worthless in his eyes. I was nothing to him. The words he once said to me suddenly flashed back on my mind, making me to hug my kneels as the words he threw to me were too harsh to take at once.

"You're not pretty enough, "

"Who's going to love a person like you? "

"The new girl I met is more way better than you. "

They were harsh. Truly harsh that it teared me up. Was I that useless till I got ditched just for a bimbo? I was hurt.

Jimin

I took out the macaroons I bought from a cafe earlier and decided to share them with Jieun since she was once told me that she loves macaroons. I smiled while transferring them into a big plate before making my way to her room.

Before entering, I knocked the door first in case she was changing or wanting to have her privacy space. "Can I get in? " I asked and placed my ear on the door.

She didn't answer me at first and I heard like there was a sniffling sound. I wasn't expecting anything and thought that she was having a flu. "Are you okay Jieun? You don't sound fine. " I said.

But then, she opened the door and I spotted that she was covering her head with her oversized hoodie cap. I furrowed my eyebrows and put the plate on her desk. I turned back to face her, "Are you okay? You look sick. " I said and without asking her, I took off the hoodie cap from her head and spotted that she was crying.

"Da— why are you crying? " I asked worriedly. Jieun rarely cries so seeing her cry all of the sudden made me worried.

I held her cheeks then made her to look up at me. Trying to study her reaction, I got a sign of what made her cry. "You're crying because of your ex, aren't you? "

We sat on the small couch that was placed in her room. She was sitting next to me while covering her face with her hands, trying to avoid from letting me see her crying face. Even the fact is I have seen her crying before, she still tried her best to avoid it. I sighed, "I've seen you crying before. Why are you being so embarrassed?"

"Are you still uncomfortable with me? " I asked softly while trying to look at her.

Being a lil bit touchy with what I've said, she wiped her tears then looked at me with red eyes. I honestly didn't like to see her this way. She looked hurt and suffering inside. "Don't say that, " she sniffled. "I'm more than comfortable being around you. " She insisted.

"It's just— I look ugly when I cry. " She sniffled and tried to wipe her tears with her sleeves.

Not wanting to make her feel insecure, I grabbed her hand to stop her from wiping her tears. "Why are you wiping your tears away? " I asked in the most gentle way. "Is it because you think you look ugly? "

"You're wrong. Your tears don't make you look ugly. Instead, you look stunning. " I looked into her eyes that were full with tears. They looked shiny and pretty.

"Beautiful eyes, cute nose and perfect lips." I described her perfect features. "The person who said that you're ugly is surely blind. So sad that they aren't gifted to see such a gorgeous beautiful woman. " I caressed her cheek.

"Stop saying you're ugly when you're actually the most beautiful person. " I stated.

Her sad face started to disappear by itself and a smile was shown on her face. And in a blink, she suddenly crawled on the couch to sit on my lap. My heart thumped so fast when she suddenly gets so near to me. There was literally no gap between us.

She was now sitting on my lap while facing me. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me for a hug. "You'll always understand me, Jimin. " She spoke.

"You understand me like no one does. " I could feel she was smiling since her face was placed on my shoulder. Trying to play along with her mood, I let out a small chuckle.

"But how about Jungkook? He'll get so mad if he hears this. " I laughed softly while patting her back gently to calm her down. I know she was still sad but she didn't want me to feel bad because she didn't say a thing. So she forced herself to say something.

She breathed. "Jungkook is a nice person. " She commented. "But he'll always nag at me first before comforting me. It makes me feel more bad. " She sighed.

So that was the difference between me and Jungkook. We have our different ways to comfort Jieun from her bad mood. "So I'm better? " I chuckled.

She snuggled on my chest and hugged me tighter. "Yea, you're better because I never hug Jungkook this way. I have no idea why I don't even doubting to be so close to you like now. " She stated while calming her mind down while listening to my heart beats. "So calming. " She mumbled to herself but it was too slow for me to hear.

"Maybe because Jungkook is your best friend. It'll feel weird to hug your best friend this way, right? "

Her hot breath was gently hitting my neck, making me to get a goosebumps but I still managed to handle it. We were in a soft mood so I won't ruin it. "But you're also my best friend. " She added.

"And probably more than that. "

Author

The both of Jimin and Jieun were now having a confronting session, where the both of them were talking about their past and things they used to regret. "He said those words to you? " Jimin asked in disbelief and annoyance at the same time.

It was hard for him to believe that even a sweet person like Jieun would have to face such things too. Life is really being so tough to people.

She chuckled bitterly to hide the pain behind her smiles. "Yeah, but don't worry, I won't take it to heart because he means nothing to me now. He's my ex who doesn't know how to appreciate me. So why would I be sad over someone like him, right? "

He nodded in agreement before started saying, "I used to be the person who hides behind my own shadow and it took me a long and tough time to realize that standing in the light is so much prettier. " He talked.

"My parents didn't really the idea of me becoming a dancer. They said that it won't give me a future. " He started the story telling session and Jieun, as always will get so excited to listen to him. "I almost gave up but soon I realized that, I'm the one who's going to live my life. Not them. They can't determine my future. Yes, we should respect them as parents but in determining our future, we have rights to go against them. It's our lives. " He explained.

"So what I'm trying to tell you here is, ignore what people said to you. Don't take it to heart. It won't affect your life anyway. Just yeet the negative people away from your life. You don't need them. "

"People love to make us feel down, worthless and dumb. But little did you know, if we ignore their words, we're actually more way better than me. People who's trying to pull us down is already down us. " He emphasized his words. Jieun nodded.

"Your words are all true, " she agreed. "We can't let people determine who we are. We are what we want. Not what people want us to be. " She loved the sentence.

"How I hope everyone will learn how to understand and accept that every single person is unique and special in their own ways, no matter how different they are. "

Myundae was wrong. He was busy searching for the best person while he already had the best girl. He wasn't being thankful for what he has.

It was his fault.

Heartbeat pulsing slow in my ears
Bump, bump, bump
Try to flee but back into the maw
Jump, jump, jump
No song affects me anymore
Crying out a silent cry

•••

[A/N]

—I'm using quotes from bangtanstime on instagram! Go follow her for more lovely quotations pics.

(+) thanks for the one who made the template (the pic i put on the top) for this chapter! truly appreciate it.