~Y/N POV~

   The drive was silent all the way till we stop at Cranberry. The guys get out and pretend like nothing happened. They search buildings as they did before, only speaking when necessary.

   We clear out a couple buildings, then Mev breaks the silence. "Okay, we all need to talk."

   "Let's not," Austin says trying to keep the tension to a minimal. 

   "Panda's right, we shouldn't. At least until we finish this rescue mission, we know nothing about," Xylo turns around and lifts his gun.

   Mev glares but reluctantly follows his lead.

   I walk in front of Xylo and duck into a building. You there?  I ask Austin as I scan one side of the room while Xylo scans the other.

   Yeah. He says clearly wanting to say something.

   "Clear," I say glancing over my shoulder.

   "Clear on this side too," Xylo responds. "I'm going to go check the back room."

   Just say what you want to say already. 

   What would do think about what Tyger did?

   I... I don't know. I just wish this was the first time I'd seen two people like that.

   I look through the door to Austin and the others. "You can come in now."

   They all come in and search the place. Austin continuously casting glances at me.

   Xylo walks in. "We're clear in the back."

   "Not a lot of infected wandering around," I say nervously.

   "Lurkers," Austin corrects me being the petty little child he is.

   "Why does that worry you?" Xylo asks as he walks over to the rest of us.

   "It worries me because they're grouped together and that's going to be one big hoard."

   Everyone goes quiet.

   "Let's get some sleep we have a hospital to raid tomorrow," I check my mag three bullets. "I'll scout around one of you should keep watch." I put the mag back in and turn to the door.

   "Y/N," Xylo says stopping me in my tracks. "I don't think going out on your own is such a good idea."

   I look over my shoulder and smile. "I'll be fine Xylo." I open the door and slip out before he can respond.

   I jog off to a building on the other side of town trying to get away from it all. I close the door to the building and look around. We're clear. I slide down to the floor. I close my eyes. 

   Why did it happen again? Tyger looked just as broken as that body. I don't know what scares me more, what he was willing to do to another person to live, the fact that he was barely conscious of what happens or that I've seen that look on the face of my only family.

   I just want to scream. I let out a shaky breath and stand. I walk around the office building looking for materials for the raid. I stop when I see a crowbar. I pick it up and examine it. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. My hands drop to my side and my grip tightens on the piece of metal. 

   I grab the bar with my other hand and swing. Glass explodes from what was a computer. A shard cuts my cheek. I pull the weapon from the screen and swing it like a bat sending the computer flying. I let loose on all the furniture and machines that reminded me that our world wasn't always this broken... I just wish I could say the same thing about myself.

   I look around at what once was a tidy office building. Everything was a mess glass and metal pieces were everywhere. I let the bar slide from my fingers as I fall to my knees. My whole body shakes with each of my sobs. When will this nightmare end!? When will they stop tormenting us!?

   They? Austin and I ask in unison.

   I shut off my mind to avoid the questions not even I have the answers to. My sobs turned to shaky gasps. It felt like no matter how many breaths I took in it wasn't enough for my lungs. A panic attack! I sensed that Austin felt the same pain and panic I did. Shit. Not now. Not now!

   My gasps tuned to heavy wheezing that burned my throat. Each time I did the pain made me take in more air faster only hurting more. Calm down. Calm down!

   I was pulled into a familiar figure. Gently rubbing my back. "It's okay Y/N you're not alone."

   I flung my arms around his neck and clung to him. "Please don't leave me again," I whispered my voice groggy and barely audible.

   "I won't, and this time I mean it," Bartholomew says still rubbing my back gently. "I'm here."

   My breathing calms as I close my eyes. I just need to rest. Just for a little while.

~Xylo POV~

  She falls asleep in my arms. I push away some debris and laid her down. I let out a light breath. Why can't either of us just escape the torment of pain? Of death? Of suffering? Ever since we were kids they've been following us. Those three damned words.

   I look her over. Her body's ridled with shards of glass from the monitor screens I'm assuming. She always had that habit of flying into a blind rage. Probably got it from dad... or me. I sling my pack over my shoulder and pull out the med kit. I shake my head as though it'd pull me out of my thoughts. I need to focus on the present. I unroll some of the gauze, pull out some of the sanitary pads, wound cleaning agent, and tweezers.

   I pull out the glass with the tweezers. Clean out the cuts with the agent. Set the pads on the wounds and wrap them with the gauze clipping them with the bobby pins. AJ always had them on her for reasons beyond my comprehension. She doesn't even flinch from the pain. She's out cold. I push the hair out of her face. The bags under her eyes are so dark. When was the last time she slept?

   "Wait where's her scar?" I ask myself as I look at her left eye. She got that scar the night dad hit her. She shouldn't be able to see out of her left eye. "What the hell happened since the rest of the world fell into the hell we have lived in our whole lives?"

~A/N~

I'm alive.