"Just because you're ready to let go of your past, it doesn't mean your past is ready to let go of you."

***

I stumbled on my own two feet as I rounded the corner. After the cream bleached hospital walls, I appreciated even more the gold and pink streaks the rising sun illuminated the sky in. A scent of morning freshness infiltrated my nostrils as I inhaled deeply.

It wasn't hard to spot Jungkook, given it was early morning and all the park benches were empty. He was sitting on one of them not too far from the building, his back turned to me.

"Hey," I patted his shoulder, making him turn around to look at me. I didn't want to startle him, even though I supposed he had heard my steps on the damp grass.

"Hey," he made space for me to sit next to him on the bench, offering me an inviting nod. I sat down, my chest tightened. We both stared into the horizon for a couple of seconds when Jungkook broke the silence. "How is he?"

"Still unconscious," I sighed and glanced down at my hands, intentionally avoiding his eyes. "But the doctors said that he was stable and that he'd wake up any minute now. He'll be okay."

I raised my head to look at him. His eyes hardened, he observed me wordlessly.

"How- how did you guys find us?" Feeling oddly uncomfortable, I decided to change the topic. Something in me told me it caused Jungkook pain to dwell on the thought that Taehyung was injured. Logically, it wasn't directly his fault that his father's men had captured us, but I could instinctively sense he somehow blamed it on himself.

Otherwise, he wouldn't be here with me.

He rested his back on the bench and exhaled heavily, his warm breath brushing on my skin. "I followed you all the way to Taehyung's graduation. After the way we left things between us the other night, I wanted to talk with you, to convince you I wasn't the terrible person you think I am, Y/N. I'm still the Jungkook you knew and loved. I'm still your Jungkook," eyebrows dipped slightly, his deep doe eyes traced my skin. A dull ache tugged at my heart.

"Then, when I got there, I realized I was already too late. I saw you there, in his arms, the arms that I had unknowingly pushed you in. You were smiling so brightly, looking at him with so much... affection. His hands wrapped around your body, he held you tight. Taehyung held my whole world in his arms," Jungkook's voice wavered as his eyes glimmered against the sun. White-knuckled, his hands clutched at the edge of the bench.

I gasped, covering my mouth with my palm. "Jungkook..."

Looking at his face, there was a rawness and vulnerability to it. Brick by brick, his walls started falling down. "I felt like my whole life crumbled at my fingertips," he mumbled, face wrinkling in agony. "There I was, standing in a crowd, watching the girl I love, fall in love with someone else. And I could do absolutely nothing about it," he looked me straight in the eyes, his orbs an endless depth of pain. "And when he kissed you... I couldn't take it anymore. It killed me."

My whole body felt limp as I took my time to fully take in everything he was saying to me.

"So I followed you to his car. To be honest, I have no idea what kind of thoughts were running through my mind back then. I was so blinded by this rage that was boiling up in my veins. Or was it jealousy? I couldn't tell," Jungkook removed his cap and ran his fingers through his messy bangs. "I wanted to talk to you, to say that I wasn't going to give up on you. To tell him that I'd fight for you no matter what. It was stupid, I know," he offered me a crooked smile, "since it was obvious you had already slipped through my fingers."

My gut tied in an anxious knot. How dense exactly could I have been, not knowing Jungkook was in so much pain? Then again, I never gave him any chance to talk to me, storming out of the cabin in the middle of the night. I was so used to him covering up his feelings, I didn't even assume he'd want to discuss them.

"Just as I was about to approach you, a dozen of men in black suits suddenly jumped out of a black van, knocking you both out in a matter of seconds. I recognized them immediately. I was so startled, I barely had time to hide. Fortunately, they were in such a rush to get out of there that my presence went unnoticed," Jungkook's face darkened and his nose scrunched in a disgusted expression. "I stood there for a couple of minutes, my mind frantically running in circles as I wondered about what I should do. They were so many, there was no way I could take them down on my own."

I listened wordlessly, not moving a muscle. I was so immersed in Jungkook's words that I had to remind myself to breathe.

"I was so terrified of what they would do to you. It became clear to me I didn't have much time, so I followed them in my car. I know those guys, they're puppets who are only trained to execute orders and were so stupid they didn't even notice I was following them. It didn't take long for me to realize that they were taking you to one of Jiyoung's hideouts near Seoul," Jungkook said quietly.

"Was that when you decided you should call Yoongi?" I breathed, my voice low and raspy. He gave me a firm nod.

I inhaled sharply. "Thank you, Jungkook. If it wasn't for you, we probably wouldn't be alive now," was all I could think of to say. After this kind of revelation, I had trouble thinking straight.

"Y/N," Jungkook shifted his whole body to face mine, a shadow of anguish dancing on his face. "That text you saw on my phone the other night..."

"I know," I interrupted him. "Namjoon told me. I know Jina is his sister and that she's helping with your legal documents."

His eyebrows shot sky high. "He did?"

"Yes," I nodded slowly. "You don't have to-"

Taking me aback, Jungkook wrapped his hands around mine, interlocking our fingers. He pulled me in closer to himself. I stared at him quizzically as his whole face lit up like that of an excited child.

"That's great," he enthused, squeezing my hands and gently stroking them with his thumb. "I just got off the phone with Namjoon. With some luck, he and Jina will be able to arrange something for you as well."

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows in bewilderment, my jaw dropping.

Jungkook's lips stretched in the widest grin I had ever seen on his face.

"Y/N, they told me you can come with me to the USA. That's the reason I didn't leave after the other night as I had planned. Because I wanted us to go together," bright-eyed, his expression blossomed with hopefulness.

I continued staring at him wordlessly, completely stupefied.

"We can have a fresh start over there," Jungkook continued. "No one would know us. We would leave all this mess behind us and forget about it. I'd finally be able to pursue photography as a career, and you'll be my muse," he smiled. "We could be anything we want, anything at all. I want us to have it all, career, family, kids."

"Jungkook-"

"You are my first love and I'd want nothing more than you to be my last," he straddled my face between his palms gently, brushing on my jaw. I was already starting to feel dizzy. "I know I caused you pain. Will you even be able to forgive me? I love you, perhaps not in a perfect way, but I do."

"I-"

"Y/N, our lives are ahead of us. I want to spend as much time as I can with you, I want to fix my mistakes. This time it will be different. You don't have to worry about money, I still have some savings we could live off for the time being until we find something more stable," Jungkook stroked my cheek with his thumb. "I'll take care of everything for you. You just have to say yes."

Wide-eyed, I felt as though someone had placed a hot coal on my chest. Jungkook's words haunted me, replaying like an echo in my blank mind.

"Come with me to America, Y/N. Let's run away."

author's note:

Oops. What should we do now, guys?