Coming out of the shower I take a glimpse of myself in the mirror, frowning. I look like a giant marshmallow in Taehyung's oversized baggy clothes that are at least five sizes bigger than mine.

I'm still feeling out of my element as I realize these past few days I've been spending a lot of my time with him. It feels strange as I'm not really sure whether I'm starting to grow affectionate of him or I just feel like I owe him something for everything he's been doing for me.

Truth be told, I'll probably crash down if it hadn't been for his presence in my life. And to be honest, I was most likely to end up raped or at least molested last night hadn't he appeared. I gulp anxiously at that last possibility.

Perhaps it's normal to start feeling attached to someone when he saves you from something as horrible as that.

I bury my face in my palms, annoyed at my own overthinking. Overanalyzing was a big flaw of mine as it only drained me emotionally rather than help me out.

Stop thinking, dummy.

I fidget with the edge of the large white T-shirt as I walk into the kitchen, the warm and comforting smell of fresh coffee infiltrating my nostrils and sending happy impulses towards my brain.

Before me appears the scene of Taehyung struggling with a frying pan, the content of which is something that resembles a pancake, but more liquid and formless.

He turns his head towards me when he notices me coming in, his hands not letting go of the pan.

"I tried making pancakes." He explains, looking exhausted probably from all the struggle. "But I failed miserably."

I try to snort in a laugh, slightly amused by how pitiful he looked.

"It's alright." I reassure him. "I'll be happy with a slice of bread and some peanut butter."

"This is all I wanted to hear." Taehyung exhales loudly, removing the pan from the stove and throwing it straight into the sink along with its content. "Maybe next time I'll succeed with the pancakes." His disappointed face made me smile in endearment.

"Hey, cheer up." I chime, trying to comfort him. "It's the effort that counts."

His lips stretch into a wide grin, showing his perfect set of teeth. He hands me over a large cup of coffee as I stare at his face, some strands of his hair glued to his forehead from the sweat and humidity around the stove.

"There you go. It's just plain coffee, probably not your favorite flavor, but-"

"It's perfect." I interrupt him after slurping a sip of the warm liquid, as both of us sit on the table. Taehyung pours us both a glass of cranberry juice.

"I can make you something else for breakfast. Do you like eggs and bacon?" He offers as my eyes don't leave his face.

How have I not noticed until now how long his eyelashes are?

"Y/N?" Taehyung calls out my name, probably because I was starting to look stuporous and freak him out.

"Hm? No, I'm okay, maybe later-" I stutter, putting the coffee on the table but along with doing that my elbow pushes the cranberry juice and the red liquid spills all over the table right into the direction of Taehyung's shirt.

"Oh my God!" I gasp, my eyes widening in embarrassment as I observe his white shirt absorb the juice, forming a huge ugly stain. "I'm so fricking clumsy, damn it!" I reach out for a napkin even though I know it's no use. "I'm so, so, so sorry. I'll pay for your laundry. Or buy you a new one." I start blabbering constrainedly, nibbling on my lower lip, a habit I had when I was nervous.

"It's alright." Taehyung replies calmly, waving his hand to emphasize the insignificance of the situation, then softly smiles. "This shirt is so old, I wanted to throw it away already."

"I've been nothing but trouble to you." I sulk, raising my gaze to meet his and give him a weak smile. "And now I'm ruining your clothes."

"Don't think about it anymore." Taehyung replies, his tone close to a whisper as if he was trying to cheer up an upset child. "I have a clean one right here."

He stands up, heading towards the sofa behind him, his body bends over as he picks up a neatly folded T-shirt in black. Next thing I know, his long slender fingers grab the edge of the stained clothing and pull it over his head, unveiling before me a full view of his toned body, his abs and pecs, and his broad shoulders, continuing into well-formed muscular arms.

I stand there frozen as if someone had suddenly pointed a gun to my head. I know I have to look away, but it seems like my body isn't listening to my commands anymore because my eyes don't move an inch.

My gaze traces the distance from Taehyung's sharp jaw to his long neck. I notice just now how soft the sun-kissed skin on his chest looks. Then my attention is drawn to the middle of his chest where my eyes fall onto a longitudinal scar right on top of the bone. I hold my breath, startled by the little detail on his body that I accidentally caught a glimpse of and can't help but wonder what's the cause of it.

Taehyung turns his neck towards my direction as he puts on the clean shirt and I avert my gaze, flustered and embarrassed that he most probably caught me openly staring.

He pulls down the neckline of his newly put on clothing and looks down beneath it, showing a little bit of the scar. He clearly knew that I was wondering about the scar.

"It happened when I was a child." Taehyung inhaled deeply. "I was born with a congenital heart defect."

"I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to talk about this if you're not comfortable." I try to sound nonchalant but my voice just comes out anxious and high-pitched. Taehyung shakes his head.

"No, it's okay. It was a long time ago. I don't even remember the surgical intervention. What I was born with is called a ventricular septal defect. In short, I had a hole in the wall between my heart ventricles that wasn't supposed to be there which allowed blood to flow freely through it." He explains calmly, as if talking about it didn't bother him at all.

I start to think about what he had gone through, experiencing surgery at such a young age. He must have been terrified, even though he denies remembering it.

"But the doctors fixed it and now I'm healthy." Taehyung smiles crookedly.

My heart aches as I imagine the scary thoughts that most likely were going through a kid's head at such moment. Taehyung gave off a calm and collected vibe now but I realized he hasn't always been so strong.

"I'm so sorry you've had to go through this." I raise my eyebrows in sympathy, my mind completely empty as I frantically search for things to say in this situation. I suddenly have the urge to stand up and hug him but my body tightens even more, pinning me to the chair.

"It's not that big of a deal, really." He tries to sound cheerful but I can see that it's a painful memory to him. "Do you want to take a closer look?"

I throw him an incredulous look as he takes several steps towards me, kneeling before my frame so that our eyes are on the same level. He pulls down the neckline of his shirt again.

"I'm not ashamed of my scar." He whispers and his breath breezes on my lips; that's how close he is. "Scars are what make us unique."

I raise my hand slowly, my eyes pinned to the different skin on his chest. I touch the scar very lightly, only my fingertips brush off the cicatrix. His skin is warm and soft and touching him sends tingling sensation towards my body.

I stare at the scar, that now represents to me the memory of Taehyung's hardship and pain he had to endure in his childhood. At that age every child should be out and playing with friends, not going around the hospital, dealing with doctors and labs, or lying on an operation table. I clench my jaw, wondering why this was making me so emotional.

All of a sudden Taehyung grasps my wrist, laying my whole palm on his chest. I watch it bounce up and down as my hand feels the vibrations of his heart beating against his chest wall. I raise my eyes in amazement only to meet his gaze. It's intense and it's making my whole body burn up.

I have to look away.

Now. Just look away. Right now.

My mind is screaming at me but my body stays still.

Before I have a chance to pull away, Taehyung shortens the distance between our faces. I'm immediately reminded of last night, but this time, his lips touch mine gently, only for a second. It's not a kiss, not yet. He takes a deep breath in and crashes his soft plump lips against mine. My mouth instinctively responds to his touch, parting my lips slowly, allowing him an entrance. I know I shouldn't, but I close my eyes, diving into the sensation. In the corner of my mind, I know that this is wrong but I can't pull away.

His takes my lower lip in between his and sucks on it lightly, letting out a soft groan. I tremble under this compelling feeling.

No. You shouldn't. We shouldn't.

I pull my body back against the back of the chair, my head still dizzy. Taehyung opens his eyes too and he looks as startled as I am right now. My hand still lays on his bare chest. We stare into each other's eyes confused and I feel like my breathing's never going back to normal again.

"I'm so sorry." He mumbles quietly, almost whispering. "Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

The wrongfulness of what we had just done starts creeping up in my mind at last, sending me into a deep panic. I pull my arm back quickly as though I had just burned it on a hot plate.

"I have to go." I utter before standing up, the only thought in my mind how I had to get out of that room. "I- I have to."

My brain tries to squeeze out the last remaining drop of sanity I had left as I pick up my pace towards the kitchen door, turning my back towards Taehyung.

I can't bear to look him in the eyes. I have to get away from here, I have to think. God, what have I done? Stupid, stupid girl.

Not caring that I'm still in his baggy clothes, with no bra underneath the cotton shirt and no coat whatsoever, I almost run towards the doorway of Taehyung's house, praying that he's still as shocked and doesn't come after me.

My trembling fingers fidget with the lock, the urgency on my mind doing nothing else except slow me down.

I feel a familiar firm grasp on my wrist, turning me around slowly.

"I said I'm sorry, but I'm not." Taehyung breathes inches away from my face, his low husky voice sending a warmness towards my lower abdomen. "I'll do it again if I could."

His expression serious and determined, his eyes glistening in the dimmed light in the hall. I lean my back on the door, the cold surface against my warm skin makes me flinch.

"Then do it." The words roll out on my tongue cracked. I feel this is the moment that all the barriers in my mind come crashing down. I know I'll hate myself later.

I'm fairly certain I'm going to hell.

Taehyung's eyes widen, his pupils dilated. He suddenly pushes me to the door, his lips colliding again with mine. He kisses me hungrily, like he has been wanting to do this for a very long time. He pushes his hips towards mine and I arch my back towards his body, giving him access to my waist. His hands travel all around my body, from my waist to my chest.

His touch so urgent, he wants to feel as much of me as possible. I allow his tongue to slip into my mouth, playing softly with mine. Then he starts kissing me painfully slow and I bury my hands in his lustrous hair, a quiet moan escaping my lips, making him tighten his grip around my body.

Our minds are completely shut down, our bodies are moving on our own now. Taehyung starts giving me little butterfly kisses on my jaw, heading towards my neck and I tilt my head to the side, giving him proper access to my most sensitive spot.

The sound of a loud vibration coming from Taehyung's pocket ruins the moment, as I find myself mentally cursing the person who dares interrupt us, but in the corner of my mind also thank him.

"Damn it." Taehyung hisses, his hands stop touching my burning body and start looking for his phone instead with an irritated expression.

"What is it?" He almost spits after pressing the green button on his touch screen. His face suddenly becomes serious as his perfectly shaped eyebrows knit together. "I see. Yes. Okay. I see. Thank you, hyung."

"Who was it?" I mutter as I slowly regain my ability to talk. Taehyung's expression darkens and I see a shadow of worry run across his face.

"That was Yoongi." His eyes pin to the ground, not meeting mine. A knot begins to form in my stomach.

"What was it about?"

Taehyung finally meets my eyes, his voice comes out hoarse and shaking.

"Y/N, it's about Jungkook. They- They found his car."

author's note:

you deserve a gift for reading this long-ass (and maybe chaotic) chapter. let me bless your eyes with this perfection: