Bucky wakes up screaming in the middle of the night. He had just had a nightmare...or rather a memory of his time as the Winter Soldier. In this memory, he relives a mission where he killed someone.
"Oh god, no no no no no." Bucky sobbed, burying his face into his knees and gripping his hair with his real hand.
"Bucky? Bucky, come on, babe, talk to me. Did you have another nightmare?" Sam asked, trying to get Bucky to look at him.
Instead of letting Sam comfort him, Bucky just scoots away from him.
"Bucky, please tell me about the nightmare." Sam begged.
"No! No, I can't! Not now!" Bucky cried.
"That's fine, honey, just tell me when you're ready." Sam replied
"I need some space." Bucky whimpered rushing out of the bedroom.
Sam is concerned, but doesn't follow Bucky, knowing it'll only make things worse. Bucky wasn't sure where he was going, but he knew he had to get away. He had to be alone to collect his thoughts. It took him almost two hours to realize he had wandered all the way into Central Park. It was also at this moment that Bucky realized he was still in his pajamas, which was just a tank top and sweat pants. He also realized he had no shoes or socks on, he was completely barefoot.
"Ahh, great." Bucky grumbled sitting on a park bench.
It was cold and starting to snow, so Bucky's current attire was not a good thing. With the horrendous details of the memory/dream still in his mind, Bucky grip's his hair in his hands and cries.
"Oh god why do I have to remember that now!?" Bucky wept.
Bucky cries for another hour before he starts to feel like he's about to freeze to death. He wants to get out of the cold, but he doesn't want to go home. There was no way he could face Sam after remembering what he had done. Then, Bucky remembers that the sanctum wasn't far from where he was and decides to go there. By the time he gets to the sanctum's front door, Bucky's lips are chapped and he's shaking like a leaf.
"Bucky? What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like that!?" Stephen asked.
"Get inside, you'll freeze." he added pulling Bucky inside.
Once Bucky was in the sanctum, the cloak of levitation wraps itself around him to warm his shivering body. Stephen guides him to sit by the fireplace. Then with a flick of his wrist, he magically creates a cup of tea that he hands to Bucky.
"Here, this will help warm you up." Stephen told him.
"Thanks." Bucky sniffled, taking a sip of the tea.
"What's going on, Bucky? Did you and Sam have a fight?" Stephen asked sitting across from Bucky.
"No....but I'm pretty sure we will." Bucky answered.
"What do you mean by that?" Stephen asked confused.
"I...I remembered something I did as the Winter Soldier...something I know he won't forgive me for." Bucky explained crying.
"Oh come on, that's ridiculous, Sam loves you." Stephen replied.
"H-he won't after he finds out what I did." Bucky sobbed, accidentally crushing the cup with his metal hand.
"What did you do?" Stephen asked, growing impatient.
Bucky explains everything that happened in the memory/dream to Stephen, who afterwards insists that he tells Sam immediately. The super soldier knew that has boyfriend deserved to know the truth, but he was too afraid to tell him. He didn't want a repeat of what happened with Tony.
"You have to call him. He's bound to be worried sick about you by now." Stephen told Bucky.
"I...I can't...I-I'm too scared." Bucky whimpered.
"Alright, that's it, I'm ending this now. I'll call him, then you are going to tell him what you just told me, and we're gonna get this over and done with." Stephen said, taking out his cellphone.
He dials Sam's number and is answered by a hysterical man, worried about his boyfriend who had left his phone at home. Stephen tells Sam that Bucky was at the sanctum and that he needed to come and talk to him.
"Oh thank god, you're okay!" Sam said hugging Bucky tightly.
"You were gone for hours and you left your phone at home, so I couldn't reach you." he added burying his face in Bucky's neck.
Again, Bucky breaks down in tears, sobbing.
"Baby, what's wrong? Was it the nightmare?" Sam asked cupping Bucky's face.
"Yes! Yes, It's about the d*mn nightmare! I'm trying to tell you something I remembered doing as the Winter Soldier, but I'm too scared! I'm scared because I know you'll stop loving me once you find out what I did, but if I don't tell you and you find out on your own, you'll hate me even more!" Bucky rambled.
"Bucky, baby, I love you. There's nothing you can say that'll ever make me hate you." Sam said pressing his forehead against Bucky's.
"I killed Riley." Bucky mumbled quietly.
"What was that? I didn't hear you." Sam asked.
"I KILLED RILEY!" Bucky shouted sorrowfully.
Sam freezes, eyes wide. Then he pulls away slightly and looks into Bucky's eyes.
"W-what?" Sam asked, voice trembling.
"I killed your best friend...I shot him down. And the worst part was....I-I wasn't aiming at him...I was trying to kill you, but he saw what I was trying to do and took the hit for you." Bucky explained slowly.
"I'm so sorry." he cried.
Sam just stood there staring wide-eyed at Bucky, not saying a word.
"Sammy, please say something. Scream at me, yell at me, for god's sake hit me. Anything, just please respond." Bucky begged.
He reaches out to Sam, but he flinches and backs away.
"S-Sam?" Bucky asked.
"G-get away from me, don't touch me." Sam mumbled walking backwards towards the door.
When he's closer to the door, he turns around and runs away, leaving his boyfriend to collapse to his knees on the floor bawling his eyes out. Bucky cries so much and so hard that he starts coughing and having difficulty breathing.
"Bucky, breathe. Take deep breaths." Stephen said kneeling next to Bucky and rubbing his back.
"D-did you see the look o-on his face!? He looked at me l-like I was a m-monster! Oh god, I am a monster! I murdered his best friend! He hates me now...he's gonna leave me! We're done! We're through! OUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER!" Bucky sobbed hysterically.
A few minutes later, Bucky passes out in Stephen's arms from all the crying. Stephen uses his magic to carry Bucky to a spare room and puts him to bed. The next day, Bucky comes home to find all of Sam's stuff gone and him with it. He suspected something like this would happen once the truth was out, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Feeling completely defeated and heartbroken, Bucky sits on the edge of what was once his and Sam's bed, but was now just his, puts his head in his hands and just sighs...having no tears left to cry.
A/N: sorry this one turned out so sad.
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