Chapter 7- Tears & Fears
"Milkshakes?" He raises a brow in amusement at my tired expression, and I nod with a smile on my face as I raise my glass towards him with him doing the same in return.
How is it seven-thirty and I'm already exhausted? Last week when I hung out with Matt we went to the movies together, but this week we decided to get grab something to eat since I was craving a vanilla milkshake.
"Milkshakes." I giggle as our drinks come together and make a loud clinking sound.
I can't believe it's taken me two years to go out with, Matt, he's honestly so much fun it's like constantly hanging out with a best friend. It's easy. Nothing intense, nothing crazy and unexpected, no vulnerability, it's like going to see a friend on another ordinary night and knowing that it'll be fun just because of the laughs that you two always share together.
That's not why you date someone though.
Not talking to you, conscience Giana.
I'm just stating the facts.
There's no pressure when Matt and I are together.
So you stay with him because it's easy?
I'm staying with him because it's the right thing to do.
There's never no 'right thing,' Giana.
There is when it comes to choosing between Liam and Matt— scratch that, Liam's not even a choice.
So if he was, you would choose him?
No! Of course not, I like Matt he's a great guy.
Just because he's a great guy doesn't mean he's the right guy.
I swallow down the hard lump forming in my throat as my thoughts seem to consume me. I've been spending the last year thinking all love ever does is break you, and now that I have a chance to move o from him— I should. He has.
"How's Emma doing?" Matt randomly questions as I continue to twirl the red straw that's chilling in my cup.
Since when does he ask about Emma?
"Good, why so curious?" I joke, my eyes roaming his for some answers. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion and open and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. "Well, I thought she would at least be a little bit more in distress than usual."
What is he talking about? Emma seemed perfectly fine this morning. I mean, sure she was a little more snappy and emotional, but I figured it's because she has to go back to school next week.
"Are you feeling alright? I don't get the sudden concern because Emma's a-okay." I reassure and Matt smirks at me teasingly, he props his elbow up on the table and as he leans a little closer from across the booth he whispers. "Are you jealous?"
"What? No, of course not." I defend lamely with a causal nonchalant shrug of my shoulders.
A long time ago I decided to close that chapter of my life out with Matt because he loved, but now that he's back into my life I'm willing to give this another try, I'm pretty shocked that's he's suddenly taking interest in another girl, especially when that girl happens to be my best friend in the entire world.
"Then why are you acting it? Emma's going through a lot right now and I'm just trying to make sure she's alright." He tells me sincerely and I can't help but get slightly offended. Hasn't he been the one pursuing me for the last two years?
Besides Emma would've told me if she's was going through something by now, she always speaks about what's on her mind, even if it's about the silliest of things!
And I definitely would be the first to hear about her struggling with something not Matt out of all people.
"I sincerely have no idea what's going on, so you better tell me now." I demand firmly, wondering why Emma would tell Matt something so important before me.
"Logan and Emma are on break." He says lowly, his eyes gradually darkening as those words leaves his lips.
"So? They're are always on break for something. I don't get the big deal, the school is always making up fake holidays so they can have vacation time."
Why would Emma be stressed about having time off from school?
Matt rolls his green eyes at my answer and turns to shoot me a serious look— one that I've never seen him wear before. "You know what I mean."
I was about to say 'no I don't' until realization hit me.
No.
No.
No.
Hell to the no!
Logan and Emma did not seriously breakup! They're meant for each other, they can't breakup just because times get a little tough!
I repeat this is not suppose to happen.
"You're messing with me right now."
"I wish I was."
___________
"Emma!" I shout loudly, my eyes becoming a blurry mess as I continue to run pass the crowded dorm halls, pushing through random people who are currently shooting me strange looks.
I'm a terrible, terrible best friend.
I should've known something was up the minute she started crying the day she left to go back to school, she persisted that it was the fact that she was leaving, but I now know that's it's because of a deeper reason.
My feet stop as I reach her room, and I bring my fist up to the door, knocking with as much power as I have in me, within seconds later the door opens up to reveal a tear stained face, Emma.
"Emma, I'm so sorry." I breathed out and she instantly sniffles in sadness. Her hair is not done to perfection as always instead it's thrown a messy bun, and her normal jeans and blouse are swapped out with oversized sweatpants and an old school hoodie. She looks down at the floor moping in her sadness like I've done for years.
"I should've known, I should've-"
"Stop Giana! It's always 'I should've, I should've' do you ever stop to hear yourself?" She spat angrily, and my heart can't help but sink to the floor as she catches me by complete surprise with her sudden attitude change.
"W-What?" I stutter out, earning an eye roll from her with a few tears threatening to spill from her glistening eyes.
"Did it ever occur to you to take a few seconds out of your day to ask how Logan and I am doing? Or how I'm doing at all actually? All you ever do is make everything about you and your issues in life." She snaps angrily, slamming the door shut right in my confused face.
She's just hurt, she doesn't mean it, she's speaking out of anger because she hasn't been through this type of heartbreak since Gabe.
My heart is physically breaking for her, I know how tough this must be for her. Emma doesn't deal well with heartbreak, nobody does, but Emma tends to get angry and snappy when she's hurt, picking on the little things that don't actually bother her on an everyday basis. So, unlike most people who just mope around in sadness eating a tub of ice cream for the rest of the night until they cry all of their emotions out— Emma bursts out in anger.
"Emma!" I shout out desperately, hoping that realization will sit in especially since this isn't the first time that we've been though this together. If she would just open the door and let me in I can actually be there for her like she's always there for me.
"Go home!" She huffs out loudly but I don't bother to move, waiting outside the door for when she's read to talk.
Minutes pass but nothing seems to be working with my constant taps against her door, if anything I think she might be growing more mad inside there with me here.
"Listen, I'm not mad at you, Giana— I just really need to be alone right now." She weeps, her voice breaking with every word and my heart clenches.
"I'm not leaving, Emma, I know you're just scared because you don't want anyone seeing you as vulnerable as you are right now — you deeply care for him so I get how tough all of this is to go through — trust me, I know. Please don't sulk all by yourself, let me be there for you." I try one last time, giving the best I can give.
The door slowly opens back up and I give her a sympathetic smile as she wraps her arms around me, clinging onto me for dear life as she lets out a few loud sobs.
(A/n- Chapter seven is officially out!
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