"Just listen to the voicemail, Giana, at least get the curiosity out of your head. Then, it's time to focus on you and only you, okay? No more Liam." Emma says softly, rubbing my back encouragingly to help move me towards the right direction.

I'm not one to talk about my feelings, but I kinda just broke and spilled everything to Emma from the voicemail Liam left me to the fact that I saw him earlier at the café I work at.

All I can say is that I'm grateful I wasn't working today and didn't have to run into him and his new girlfriend.

There goes that one word eating at me again.

I'm just glad Emma is back in town for the holidays so she can be here with me, I don't think I could do this without her.

"Will I ever get over him?" I croak as tears continue to flood my vision and all she does is nod. "

Everything feels like an open cut and I just don't know how to heal myself. The right thing to do is to forget that he even existed, it's the best thing for me, because when I don't even realize it I find myself everyday falling more and more in love with him. . . Or at the least the memory of who he use to be with me. Is that even possible? I sound crazy.

I hate him for what he put me through but I don't hate him.

It's like my mind blocks out the bad and only appreciates the good, but now there's too much damage and too much time gone, it's time I do what's best for me too.

"I actually went to see Liam earlier today," Logan says lightly, clearly not knowing how I would react to this statement, I can't help the sharp inhale of fresh air I take in and nod with a purse of my lips. "How is he?"

"Good," that's all he says, choosing to not go into any further detail or bring up that pretty brunette who he's currently dating. "There's actually a few old boxes in his room since he didn't clear everything out when he moved, so I might've accidentally grabbed this on the way out when he wasn't looking."

He hands me a sleek white envelope that has my name scrawled on the top of it in his handwriting that I know all too well. "I can't read this, it's not mine."

"Technically it's made out to you," Emma interjects and I shake my head as I shove the envelope back into his hand. "And he clearly didn't give it to me for a reason."

Logan doesn't seem to care through because he places it on my lap again. "Read it, Giana, listen to the voicemail, and then decide what you have to do from there."

I'm not going to open it.

It's not the right decision.

I'm not going to do it.

"Message left on September ninth now playing." I guess my finger did the deciding for me, I press the phone up to my ear and close as my eyes as I hear his voice come through the speaker.

My palms begin to sweat and I instantly rub them against the material of my jeans, letting his voice flow through the other line for the first time in two years. "Hey— G-Giana—" not even two seconds into the phone call and he's already pausing and stuttering, so unlike him, his voice sounds strain, tired even and it's enough to twist my heart.

"I know that I'm probably the last person you want to talk to today. . . I just wanted to wish you a happy twentieth birthday." As he pauses again I realize this is probably the last time I'll ever hear his voice again.

A tear slips loosely from my eyes and I can't help the overflowing weeps I let out afterwards. "I don't know what else to say right now," he laughs nervously, and I could tell by the sound of his voice just how hard this was for him. "There's too much to say, and I really hope we can talk about it soon. . . Enjoy your day, Giana, I truly do mis-" the line ends, cutting him off, and leaving me with curiosity which only increases the pulsing of my heart, making the sound of the beats take over my ears. I no longer want to waste a second more and begin to tear open into the letter, hoping to gain some clarity on what exactly he has left to say to me.

Liam Palazzesi what have you done to me?

I run my finger across the white paper and let my eyes scan over his perfect handwriting that's scribbled onto the loose sheet of paper.

Dear Giana,

By now you're probably angry, confused, and think the worst of me— I don't blame you. I would think the worst of me to.

I don't know where to start if I'm going to be honest. . . It's been exactly one week and two days since the last time I saw you, and if I'm going to be honest prom is the only thing that's been replaying on repeat in my head. Every. Single. Day.

And I can't erase the hurt expression on your face and what I did to you. All I want to do is go back, so I can take back every word that I never truly meant because those are the ones that I've been learning to regret the most.

I never wanted to hurt you, Giana, that was the last thing I wanted to do. I wish I could've told you how much I love you, tell you the truth, tell you how much you mean to me, because if I did— maybe I wouldn't have to become just a distant memory to you. I wouldn't have to loose you.

I wish I could take it all back.

You've never been a game to me, never, not once. . . Everything I've felt for you is real— it's been the most realest thing I've ever felt, I wasn't lying when I said my heart was yours. And you probably won't ever even learn to know any of this because I can't work up the courage to send it out to you. . . Because if I do I probably most likely will end up making things worst between us, I lost your trust and I can only blame myself for that. . . The smart thing to do is probably to keep this to myself because I don't want you to think that I'm just saying all of this to win you back.

But if I do decide to send this, it's time for me to tell you the truth, the whole truth this time.

The reason why I did what I did.

And it all starts and ends with the same girl whose destroyed ever best thing I've ever had in my life— Jessica.

I didn't believe the rumors when I heard through a few friends that she was going to be moving back to town a month before she did. I figured no harm done if I didn't tell you because she wasn't actually a problem at the time, and I now realize how stupid it was of me that I didn't tell you then.

She texted me. She texted me a week before she came back. And I can only imagine you now shaking you're head at me for keep that a secret, something that didn't even need to be.

I could've easily told you about the message before, but I didn't. I might come off as the boy who with everything, the quarterback, the star player, the cocky idiot with way too much confidence, but I'm insecure.

I thought keeping it a secret, meant keeping you.

Jessica, is manipulative. She's self-conceited, she doesn't care about anyone but herself and will do anything to achieve what she wants— even if that means taking someone else down. I, better than anyone, learned that the hard way, and that's the real reason why I broke up with her, it wasn't because she was moving or for some other sappy reason.

She was using me and when she had the opportunity to cheat on me, she did, she didn't even hesitate.

I guess that's where most of the insecurities stem. I've never felt good enough for you, afraid to loose you at any moment. We fight, we argue, we're sarcastic, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I want you, every single day of my life, with all your stubbornness, with all your courage, and with all your dreams and fears. I want every single one of them, I want a life with you.

I think everyone can see that at this point, because when I look at you I don't just see the girl who I grew up with, I see my world, you're everything good in life. You're the hope when there's none left.

Jessica heard that you and I were together through friends and didn't like the idea of that, especially since she was coming back to town with the intentions of having everyone wrapped around her finger. She wanted things to go back to how they were, before she left, before she made mistakes, and she knew for that I would never let that happen.

She took her instant leverage over me, you.

I hope you know that I didn't hesitate and told her to back off, to leave you alone, that's the real reason why I was spending so much time with her. Not because I genuinely 'enjoy spending time with her.'

I know it looks bad. I knew it looked bad the day you came over to Logan's house to hangout with all of us. I wanted nothing more than to tell you the truth but I was in too deep by the time she told me what she was up to.

She hinted that she had something up her sleeve for prom night— to destroy your night.

The night I knew you've been cherishing to come, I didn't want to let that happen, but that ended up happening anyways.

This letter is getting longer than I expected, but if I don't spill the truth, I think I'm going to drive myself insane. Even if you don't end up finish reading this, I just needed you to know the truth, somehow, even if that meant through a letter, the ones that you surely know I'm terrible at. 

I'm going to cut straight to the point so I don't bore you into reading a five page essay with all the reasons of why I screwed up, but if that essay means there's a slight chance of getting you back, than I'm willing to risk it. 

A few hours before prom I overheard Jessica talking to one of her friend's. She was planning on filling the voting box with her name in it so she can have an automatic win, the goal was for her to embarrass you in front of the entire senior class, tell everyone that you were just a game to me, that this whole year was a joke between the two of us, that her and I were always together.

There was no way I would let that happen, I couldn't let that happen, not to you, and I didn't know how to go about things because it was so late in the game when I found out but I knew I had to do something.

I panicked and thought I was doing the right thing at the time but now I pushed you away more than ever.

I knew Jessica was listening on the dance floor when you asked me if I was still in love with her, I even knew she was behind me when I followed you out to where you were standing when you ran out. I knew it was too late to fill you in on my plan and decided to risk us to protect you.

It was time to confuse her in her own act. I wanted her to believe that she was right, believe that you were only just a game to me, she would be caught off guard and believe that it was real, leaving her satisfied and her plan would fall through. She would never suspect I would go behind her back and sabotage her.

The plan was a mess, a disaster, but it was the only thing I could think of in such little amount of time.

By the time you left, she went back inside and won the title f prom queen, but that wasn't the end. . . Chase and I might've 'accidentally' clicked release to the video of her cheating on me. And when I mean 'accidentally' I mean I totally pressed play on the screen behind her when she went up to go receive her precious crown.

She's pretty mad if I do say so myself! But that's besides the point, the point is I really hope I don't loose you in the process of all of this. I hope you're still reading— are you still reading? I'm stupid, aren't I?

The only thing I can say is that I'm sorry, Giana, for everything.

I thought I was doing the right thing. . . My intentions were never to hurt you. I meant every word I've said to you, every promise I've made, absolutely everything.

Not too long ago I made you a promise and I intend on keeping that promise because my heart is yours to keep, it's always going to be yours no matter what you do with it.

Because without my heart belonging to you there would be no Liam Palazzesi.

I love you Giana, always will, sincerely yours, Liam.

My eyes are wide as saucers by the time I'm done reading, my breathing fell short ages ago and I can't help but tightly squeeze my eyelids shut in order to contain my rapid heartbeat.

I hold the letter close to my chest and let my tears fall down my face.

Is this my fault?

He loved me, he really did, and all he wanted to do was protect me. Protect me and the night that was suppose to mean the world to me.

I angrily wipe away my tears and try my best to pull myself together.

If I would've answered his phone calls sooner, hear him out earlier than maybe he wouldn't be with his girlfriend— maybe him and I would be together today. I wouldn't have hated him for the last two years and I wouldn't have thought he broke my heart.

That's what he wanted to explain to me.

Liam is always trying to 'protect me' but he never does it the right way! He's always thinking that he's doing the right thing for me, but he never stops to think that maybe he's breaking his heart in the end too.

Something catches my eye in the envelope and that's when I notice there was also a single Polaroid picture stuffed in there as well.

I don't think my heart could take this anymore.

My fingertips reach for the picture and as my eyes take in every detail I feel myself breaking more than I thought was even possible.

I didn't even know he took a picture of us.

Us in Paris, I was standing there awkwardly on my phone pretending to not notice him while wearing his favorite football sweater, and there he was wearing the famous T-shirt that I once threw mashed potatoes on.

Who knew that the day I started the food fight would lead me to become in a love-hate relationship with the boy who I would eventually give my whole heart too.

I'm an idiot, why didn't I think about this sooner! I jumped up off the bed and wiped my tears away as I head on over towards my closet, searching for the one thing that I forgot about, the one thing I promised to open when we graduated.

__________
(Flashback to book 1 chapter 40)

"I want you to have this before I leave, but promise me that you'll open it once I've already left?"

He places the box into my lap and I can't help but wonder what's in the box and why I'm not allowed to open it yet.

What's the difference in a month from now?

"You don't have to give me any-"

"I know but I want too." He's reassuring me but it definitely seems like he's also trying to convince himself as well. He forces on a smile and I can sense that things are different now as my eyes roam his once happy filled chocolate ones, which are now turning into nothing but sadness.

I gently place my hand in his and I feel my heart skip a beat.

"Thank you."

I don't think I'll ever get old of this— him and I.

People might call me stupid for being so young and completely falling in love with someone who I hated only months ago, but life is too short to not take chances, and some chances- those chances are the ones that are definitely the ones worth taking.

"For what? If anything I should be thanking you."

"Why's that?"

"For loving me even when I didn't deserve it."

If this was any other moment I probably would be swooning and melting over his words, but for some reason they only make me feel worst as I realize it sounds like he's saying goodbye.

He's looking at me in ways that's I've never seen him look at anyone else before, and I know that deep down he could see me contemplating whether to believe his words or not, and that's when he takes my hand into his and places it over his beating heart.

His hand is still firmly over mine as his heartbeat quickens under my fingertips.

"It's yours completely, Giana Russo, every beat, every skip, every feeling, it's all written with your name on it and your name only."

___________

I peel back the clear tape on the brown box and see a few things placed neatly inside it. Memories. Ones that I didn't even knew he was appreciating, ones that I cherished as well.

My hands go out to reach the soft stuffed bear, bringing it close to me and wrapping my arms around it. This bear was Ariana's, it's the same one I embarrassed him with in front of the entire lunch room to get payback on him in front of his friends.

I can't believe he actually kept it and didn't toss it in the trash bin after that. A small sad laugh falls out of my lips and a broken smile makes its way onto my face at the memory.

I place the bear down and continue to pick up a piece of paper, one from our old chemistry textbooks, this was the first lesson I ever helped him with.

I didn't even think he remembered any of this.

And all these old memories, old feelings just confirms that I can never really be over Liam Palazzesi.

I could fool my friends, my parents, and everyone else around me but I could never really fool myself completely.

I'm still in love with Liam and these small sentimental pieces of our relationship just proves that my love for him is even bigger than I thought was possible.

I need to talk to him.

(A/n- Chapter four is officially out! What are your thoughts on your chapter? What did you expect was in the box? Do you think Giana is entitled to feel the way she's feeling and do you think it's a mistake if she goes back to Liam? What do you think is going to happen next? Thank you all so much for reading! Please, please don't forget to comment, share, and click that little star button at the bottom of the screen. Until next time!)