*This is not my story but from @ themarmalade on AO3*

-*-

A week passes like a fever dream.

Yoongi finds the house with the shed with the broken lock and sleeps on the musty sofa inside again. For a few days, he lives like a stray cat still. He sleeps fitfully, he eats scraps, he speaks to no one. He does not cry.

Shell shocked from everything ending and barely keeping himself together, he just can't.

On the fourth day away from Hoseok, he finally hates himself for sulking enough to get things done. He gets his ID card remade and visits the bank, stunned to hear that his account was intact. No one had gone on any shopping sprees with his credit card. It was way too good to be true, but he keeps his mouth shut and requests new cards.

With the cash he withdrew, he treats himself to a new outfit or two, a fantastic meal at a nice BBQ restaurant, and a night at a hotel, taking full advantage of the big bathtub. He refills the hot water twice, drinks a whiskey tonic or three and tries to enjoy himself.

A whole day as human Yoongi, functioning and normal, as if the last months had never happened. As if Hoseok had never happened. As if there was nothing left to do but carry on and let it all fade away.

Flushed pink and warm from the hour long bath, he curls up small in the giant hotel bed. The room is a stark, pleasant void, sucking feelings out of him like rainwater through an old roof. Clean and alone in a sterile hotel room that could be in any city anywhere, he cries.

It takes hours but he pulls Hoseok's t-shirt back on and cries himself to sleep. Hollow-hearted and weary, he hopes to god Hoseok isn't crying alone on the other side of town.

On the fifth day, he gets a part time job stocking shelves at the drugstore along the river. After the interview with a harried and disinterested manager, he stares at the setting sun glowing like liquid gold through the canal.

Just down around the bend and little further, maybe ten minutes if he sprinted, is where Hoseok rescued him, and a little shabby apartment on the river full of plants and warmth. Home, but not his anymore.

It's stupid to be so sad; he had known for so long that it was going to end. For the first time all week, he lets himself face the question that's been gnawing at him, Should I have stayed?

But, for what? For the cops to come and listen to him swear that a witch holding a crystal turned him into a cat behind a Chinese restaurant? To have nothing to give when they ask for an ID, an address?

Maybe he could've convinced Hoseok to hang up the phone. And then, what? How could it have possibly gone on after that? Hoseok would be uncomfortable at best, or angry that he'd been conned into sharing his life, his apartment, his self with some weird stranger.

Hoseok would always mean so much, and to have that marred with anger and disgust in the end... no, it was better to leave.

He's glad, at least, that he saved so many memories in his head, vivid and detailed, shining bubbles of beauty that he can conjure up and relive as the last of the hazy sun sets beyond the hills.

-*-

The seventh day is when he sees it. After the first shift of mind-numbing training at his new job, he strolls down the block to the convenience store to grab instant ramen and beer for an early dinner.

Steaming noodles in hand, he rounds the corner and settles down on the sidewalk, back against the concrete wall of the convenience store. Mechanically, he sets the cup ramen down on the warm asphalt, chopsticks on top, and rummages in the bag for the cold can of beer.

Metallic click and pop, he tips the can back to chug a few satisfying gulps of cold beer, eyes dazed on the blue sky above.

Something on the phone pole catches his eye as he wipes the back of his hand across his mouth, something registering familiar to his subconscious mind. He scans the messy, sun-bleached collage of crumbling help wanted ads, underground metal concerts and yard sale announcements.

There in the middle, ~BELOVED CAT LOST~. A picture of the Yoongi he once was, the Yoongi that was Hoseok's, a fluffy grey kitten curled up in a red bucket hat. Memory of that day swirls through him, the delighted laughter from Hoseok at coming home to find him asleep there, blinking groggy green eyes at the camera.

He scrambles to his feet and yanks the ad from the staples, staring dumbly. He reads the words five times but they won't sink in.

BELOVED CAT LOST

Name: Yoongi

Disappeared August 16, is really missed, need him to come back home!!!

At the bottom there's some generic message about a reward and a phone number listed. He re-reads it all two more times.

He looks around to see if this was a trick, or a dream. The little street is mostly empty. An old man bent over a silver walker shuffles down the sidewalk, a high schooler zooms around the corner on his bicycle. The day is going to rest, dusk creeping out from the shadows and shrubs to battle the warm yellow light from shops and cafes.

Everything is normal. Except he holds in his hand a flyer asking him to come back home. Not the cat, but Yoongi. His name is on it, his name, his.

He turns back to his noodles, sitting cross-legged on the asphalt again, carefully folding the flyer and tucking it into his pocket. Two mouthfuls of noodles is all he manages to get down before he's pulling it back out of his pocket, unfolding it to see if he really read it right.

Over and over, the message reads the same, Yoongi, come back home.

-*-

His shirt is wrinkly no matter how many times he smooths it down. He abandons it to tug at the ends of his hair, trying to straighten it out into something presentable.

Hoseok won't care, he tries to tell himself. But he's back to inspecting his clothes and skin in a matter of seconds. The mirror over the sink of the McDonald's isn't big enough, and the fluorescent lighting is making him look ill. He exhales and washes his hands again just to feel the cold water.

It's been three days since he first saw the LOST CAT flyer, and everywhere he went around town, the flyers multiplied. The cat version of himself was posted up every twenty feet down any street in a three mile radius, it seemed. As if Hoseok knew Yoongi would be too scared to take it seriously the first time, or the fifteenth time.

But how could Hoseok seriously want him to come back? He was a freak who took advantage of Hoseok's kindness and violated his privacy. Maybe Hoseok could forgive him being a freak, he was used to Jungkook shifting after all, but the rest of it.... the rest of it made Yoongi's stomach twist.

Okay. Okay. He stares at himself in the mirror, willing himself to relax. It doesn't work. He exits the shop and makes his way along the ever familiar river canal.

It's weird, standing in front of Hoseok's door. He never saw it from the outside before. There's nothing to mark it as the place he loves the most, just a long, bare corridor on the second floor, a quiet side street and skinny trees below.

He fidgets nervously with the flyer, crinkled and worn now after days of unfolding it to read it again. His heart pounds, his breaths are too shallow and it's making him feel dizzy. Hoseok is on the other side of the door.

He's sure of it, he knows Hoseok's schedule like the back of his hand. Okay. Okay. His fist hovers in front of the door, ready to knock as soon as he can dislodge his heart from his throat.

He does it, he knocks, oh god.

Thighs muscles clench to keep himself from running away, he blinks to stop from looking like a feral-eyed maniac. There's rustling and muffled steps. Oh god, he's coming, oh god, oh god—

The door opens.

"Oh," falls from Hoseok's mouth, a blush traveling to the tips of his ears. They stare at each other, frozen for a lifetime or a few seconds, Yoongi couldn't tell.

He's so beautiful, fresh from a shower with bouncy damp hair, loose tank top cotton-soft against golden skin. Yoongi blinks away, fidgeting with the crumply flyer.

"I'm uh, I'm here about the reward," he mumbles, holding the flyer out.

It was supposed to be a joke, but his voice came out too strangled. He scratches at the back of his neck. Why the fuck am I making jokes, christ, this is awful, I'm awful.

But then the melody of Hoseok's laugh fills the warm air, having finally caught on to what the hell reward Yoongi was talking about. He turns back a step and motions Yoongi inside when he hesitates outside the doorway.

Hoseok closes the door fast as if afraid Yoongi will dart back out. He grabs a box of lemon cookies and hands them to Yoongi. "Your reward. I've been told they're you're favorite," he smiles, and a hell of an awkward smile it is.

It's bizarre to imagine, him and Jungkook talking about him, two people that know nothing about him besides his cookie preferences and nap schedule. More bizarre still, he'd consider those two people, who know nothing about him, to be the most important presences in his life.

"Sorry. I might have stolen a few when I was, um, here." They sit down on opposite ends of the little sofa, the same sofa where Yoongi fell asleep in Hoseok's lap only ten days before.

Hoseok smiles, gaze stuck to the couch cushions. "A cat eating cookies," he whispers, like repeating a punchline.

They're quiet and still, even breathing seems too loud. Yoongi grips the box of cookies. He can't stop staring at Hoseok, drinking in every detail of his face and movements like a dying man in a desert.

Hoseok finally looks up and catches Yoongi's eyes, surprised to find Yoongi already looking at him. "Um. So, you're a shifter? Like Kookie?"

"No. No I uh, actually don't know what happened. About...almost a year ago, I guess? I moved here. Second day in town I had a job interview, and I was trying to find the place, but I stumbled into this guy. He was like, holding a crystal or some shit? Anyway, he had drawn this magic circle on the sidewalk, which I was standing in, and it felt like I was being electrocuted, and then I was a cat." He shrugs.

Hoseok's jaw is practically to the floor. "And then you were a cat?" he repeats, flabbergasted. "This was a year ago?" he shrieks.

"Almost," his voice wavers and the box of cookies crinkles under the pressure of his hands. This is the first time he's ever been able to tell anyone what happened. A year of his life, a whole year trapped in a secret.

As if he could sense the emotions ripping through him, Hoseok places a hand over his. "That must have been awful," he says fervently.

He's sure it had been awful, but right at this moment, with Hoseok's pretty hand wrapped around his, nothing feels very bad at all.

It's blaringly quiet again. Hoseok notices what Yoongi is staring at and jerks his hand away. There's too much too important to say, to the point that small talk seems more rude than polite. They're both squirming and trying not to, the stifling awkwardness seeming to shrink the already small apartment.

"Do you wanna go to the river park with me?" Hoseok blurts out. "There's fireworks tonight. We can talk more, or, not, or, I dunno,"

Why? Why did you ask me here? Why did you bring me back? Yoongi wants to ask. It's so horribly awkward, an irreversibly weird situation, why isn't Hoseok just letting it die? Why?

He looks up, questions on the tip of his tongue. But it's Hoseok, and he's asking him to go somewhere with him. Yoongi finds that, as always, he doesn't have it in him to turn him down. "Sure, yeah."

-*-

It's one of those golden, hazy August evenings that feels like a dream that got stuck in waking. The park on the riverfront is only a five minute walk, filled with nervous chatter from Hoseok apologizing for freaking out that morning last week, that Jungkook had calmed him down and told him Yoongi must be a shifter like him.

"He's gonna shit himself when we tell him what really happened to you," he says, spreading a colorful sheet on the grass in one of the free patches between groups of people.

We. When we tell him.

They sit down and watch the sun set over this wider section of the river. He realizes he never responded, too caught up in wondering what the hell was going on in Hoseok's head. This was all too weird. He's known Hoseok for so long, is so deeply connected to him, but to Hoseok he's a stranger, someone to keep a healthy distance between and make small talk with.

"Sorry, I'm not usually this shy, or, quiet or... whatever," he laughs a little. "Now that I can finally talk I don't know what to say."

Hoseok smiles, looking relieved that Yoongi spoke at all. He sets an open bag of chips between them. "Well, let's get you back into it. I'll ask you some questions. Let's see....what was the best part of being a cat?"

You, is the answer. Yoongi stares at a nonexistent point of interest across the river. "Free massages all the time," he deadpans, mouth twitching into a smile when Hoseok's laughter falls into his ears.

"I've always been jealous of pets for that. Why can't I get my head scratched all the time," he pouts. Yoongi keeps his damn hands in lap and does not let them travel up to Hoseok's hair.

"Alright then, what was the worst part of being a cat?"

Yoongi is quiet for a moment, eyes on the ladybug crawling across his knee. Sorrow or longing rises fresh. "Um. I guess, I guess not being able to say what I wanted to say. Ironic that that's still my problem now, huh," he tries to laugh, but the sorrow clings around his eyes.

"Like, I wanted to tell you...." That I love you. That you're beautiful. That I'd do anything to make you happy. "tell you my name," he ends dumbly, feeling his face flush.

Hoseok snorts. "Sure yeah, imagine, 'hi I'm Yoongi, please stop crying all over me," he laughs, but his eyebrows pinch together. "I'm sorry about that," he says softly. "I would've never—if I had known—I mean, you know."

"No I-" he freezes, the awful idea of Hoseok growing farther away from him, that this is how it'd be now between them, just a friend of Hoseok's kept at a distance, not Hoseok with Yoongi before, whole Hoseok, all of Hoseok.

"I don't want that," he whispers to himself, and it's fucking weird, weird that he wants to cry at the thought of Hoseok smiling at him when he's so sad inside, smiling and going home to cry himself to sleep alone.

"Don't do that," he says, more harshly than intended, judging by the way Hoseok jumps a bit. "Ah, I mean," he exhales and closes his eyes, remembering cuddling against Hoseok's chest, listening to his worries and dumb ideas, thinking he'd give anything to be able to talk back. It had almost been easier than this.

"All the things I wanted to say were, were anything to make you happier. But I know how when you're sad, nothing anyone can say can really make you okay. But also sometimes, just the fact that someone really wants you to be happy is enough to make you a tiny bit happier, so I just wanted to say that I want you to be happy. Every—every day," he stammered and cut himself off.

Now that he's started he might as well finish, he figures. Months of imprisoned words clawing their way out. "Look I know this sounds so weird, like you're hearing it from a stranger, but I don't feel like I'm saying it to a stranger. And I don't think...I don't think I can do this. I can't just sit here and pretend I don't know you like I do."

He's tearing a blade of grass to shreds to keep from shaking. "And, and maybe that's not fair but—I lied. The best part about being a cat was every time I did something and made you laugh or made you cry a little less or, or...I didn't even like that stupid feather toy but chasing the damn thing around to make you happy was the best thing I've—," he finally brings himself to look up at Hoseok.

His face is indescribable.

"God, I'm sorry, this is probably so weird, I'll, I should just go—" Yoongi scrambles to his feet and trudges away in the last of the sunset glow, heart feeling like it had been thrown in a blender.

Hoseok falls into step with him, hands stuffed in his pockets. "I didn't know," he says simply.

He huffs a laugh. "Of course you didn't fucking know, who would guess their cat has a crush on them, it's insane, this is insane."

"You have a crush on me?" Hoseok asks, a smile in his voice.

He can feel his cheeks getting hot. Since when did I ever blush this much? "Isn't that what I'd said?" he grumbles.

"Not exactly, but, you sure did just now," he giggles a little, struggling to keep up with Yoongi's brisk pace.

Yoongi doesn't know what to do with himself. He wants to get mad and yell, but who the hell is he mad at? He wants to shove Hoseok into the nearest wall and kiss him until they die of old age. He wants to crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment. He wants to know why the hell Hoseok is still following him.

He goes with that one. "Why the hell are you still following me? You don't have to...do whatever. Like if you feel guilty or obligated or whatever it's...it's fine." It's not fine. Nothing is fine, very not fine in fact, everything is—

"You're cuter as human than you were as a cat."

They slow to a stop behind a huddle of people and wait for the crosswalk light to change. Yoongi tries to look up at him with his sternest face, to say that he doesn't need Hoseok trying to lighten the mood or whatever. But, it's Hoseok, with that smile, who exists outside of an apartment or a dream, who just called him cute. Him Yoongi, not him cat.

The sternness slips away and honest to god, he couldn't say what his face is doing. The light flips and the little crowd shifts forward, but Hoseok and Yoongi stay still, two stones in the stream of people. Everyone slips by faceless, but Hoseok sticks to him like a moon in orbit. Yoongi crumbles.

"I'm so sorry," Yoongi chokes, really nearly crying now for reasons he can't quite name. "I should've left, it's so awful that I stayed when you didn't know what I was, I'm so sorry."

Hoseok is quiet, no longer trying to keep the mood light. He stares down the street in a daze as the crowd dissipates, pondering. "When I was crying, you hugged me. You licked my face," he said, followed by a dry chuckle. He chances a look at Yoongi, surprised to see the pain in his eyes before Yoongi buries his face in his hands.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry. I didn't want it to be like this, I didn't want you to know it was some fucking weirdo who did all that, I wanted you to just, stay a little happier. I should've left sooner, but I didn't want you to lose your cat, you know?" He throws his hands up in a desperate shrug.

"You didn't have to do this, call me back and be nice to me and- nevermind, I'll just, I'll go," he ends on a whisper, turning away before fat tears roll down his cheeks. He feels smaller than he ever did as a cat.

"Please don't," Hoseok calls out, soft and serious.

It's so stupid, the way Hoseok asks something and Yoongi just... does it. He slows to a stop, rolling his lips between his teeth and willing his tears to dry up.

"The...the thing is, when I was crying, you hugged me. You licked my face. You—"

"I know, god I told you I'm sorry, I never—"

Hoseok steps forward and laughs a little. "No I mean, you did that. I thought I just happened to have a really cute cat. But it was you, trying to make me happy? By being a really cute cat?"

Yoongi nods, pouting miserably.

A little huff of a giggle escapes him. "Fuck that's...that's really cute," he laughs again, staring over his shoulder in embarrassment. "Thank you," Hoseok whispers to the sidewalk between them after a moment. The air has fallen to a dusky blue. "You really made me feel better."

"Just because I was a cat," Yoongi mutters.

Hoseok meets his gaze and shakes his head in disagreement. He quirks a smile, one Yoongi never saw as a cat, something a little sharp, something a little bit like desire. "Let's watch the fireworks?"

Yoongi shoves his hands in his pockets and nods. They walk back to the park, Yoongi who's in love with Hoseok and Hoseok who knows it.

-*-

The sky darkens, the murmurs and children's laughter between picnic blankets and folding chairs grow into an excited buzz in anticipation of fireworks. A rippling and reverent cheer when the first one explodes red across a black sky.

Boom, boom, a satisfying rumble through his body. All Yoongi sees is the way Hoseok's lips part in a slow "wow," fireworks flickering blue and golden across his face. He's leaned back on his elbows, face raised to the sky, hair falling away in a soft cascade. Beautiful, so beautiful Yoongi's chest aches.

Hoseok's dark eyes slide over to his, and the lips Yoongi's eyes are stuck on curl into a soft knowing smile. "It's so pretty," Hoseok says, voice as low and soft as the night.

"Yeah," Yoongi croaks, and forces his eyes up to the glittering sky.

-----------------------

*This is not my story but from @ themarmalade on AO3*