*This is not my story but from @ themarmalade on AO3*

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A big hand enveloping his shoulders snaps him out of weird feelings. "Jimin's always telling me I should think about getting a companion animal because of all my...shit," he says, gesturing vaguely at his head. "He'll shit himself when he sees this picture."

He giggles, a sound somehow reminiscent of distant motor boats on sun-glittered water. Yoongi wonders where the memory came from. He spirals, wondering if he'll ever go to the ocean again, or feel the pleasant burn of sunlight on bare skin instead of thick fur. So many words he wants to say with his voice, so many things he wants to do with his hands and no hope of it ever happening.

"Aw, you cold, kitty? I wonder if cats can catch a cold," he muses, scooping Yoongi up against his chest.

He had been shaking, Yoongi realizes. He let Hoseok squeeze at the pads of his paw.

"Little toe beans!" Hoseok screeches under his breath. "I wanna eat them up," he coos, brushing the top of Yoongi's fuzzy paw under his nose.

Yoongi smushes his little foot against Hoseok's lips just in case he was really considering it. A boyish, musical hiccuping laugh bursts against his foot and fuck, he loves it, will do anything, any cute cat-antics bullshit it takes to bring that sound back.

-*-

So here he is a day later, exhausted to his bones, leaping around like a jackass trying to catch a little rainbow feather ball Hoseok is jerking around on a string, basking in the dumb lovely laughter.

The shopping bag from the pet store looks like it's exploded across the little living room. There are catnip pillows, crinkly holographic balls, an elaborate yarn horse with bells in its hair, cans of treats, a stuffed broccoli toy that Yoongi's sure is for dogs but is immediately endeared to. There are jingly balls, things on sticks, canned cat food that Yoongi pretends not to see, some mechanical ball spinning device, a scratch pad. Seemingly half a paycheck worth of things Yoongi will have to play with out of guilt.

But ironically, Yoongi feels more like himself in this moment of absolute catness than he has in nine months. The realization sinks in like the tides and it's laughable, it's sobering. Every second of his life for the last nine months has been in anticipation limbo, a weird self-repulsion, as if separating his mind from this feline body would save him. Months of vigilance and dissociation. But now, right now, Hoseok is beaming at him, breathless from giggling and flinging the feather toy around. A full, present smile.

With a queasy drop in his stomach, Yoongi realizes, he could do this. Live life this way, as a cat, as Hoseok's.

Mid-leap he sits down hard, dark olive eyes wide at Hoseok, who's panting a little from joy and exertion. Hoseok grabs him and falls back to the floor with a huff, plopping Yoongi down on his chest.

He stands there on bumpy ribs, watching the grin on Hoseok's face melt into something more thoughtful. "You know, I thought I'd been doing okay for a while."

He chuckles and scratches behind Yoongi's ear. "But I'm so happy right now that whatever I was before kinda looks like shit. I guess Jimin was right about me needing a companion animal, that fucker," he says fondly. "I'll never tell him, I'll just get 'Jimin was right about the cat' on my tombstone."

Wobbly on Hoseok's thin chest, he carefully sits himself down and curls into a little ball. "Like, why does it feel good to tell a cat all this random bullshit?" Hoseok continues. "You don't even know what I'm saying. Maybe that's why though, huh? No judgement from you, at least," he says softly, tickling his fingers under Yoongi's chin. "Well, no more than usual from a cat."

Only the sound of Yoongi's purring fills the air for a moment, which he stops trying to muffle when he sees the blissful smile it pulls from Hoseok's lips. "You know, I don't even remember why I'm sad anymore? It's almost like, once you realize it's possible to be that sad, the world always exists with that sadness in it. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I never tell anyone about it. So I don't make it exist for them, even the knowledge of it."

Hoseok rolls to his side on the shaggy rug, and plunks Yoongi down on the floor in front his face. He smiles at him, though his eyes are wetter than they were a minute ago. "You're an awfully chill cat, huh. Cute little ragdoll thing," he murmurs, swinging Yoongi side to side before blanketing his face with Yoongi's body, loud laughter bubbling against his tummy.

It was one of those compliments that made him tickle with pride because it was a Yoongi thing, not just a cat thing.

-*-

Three weeks go on like this. They eat, sleep, cuddle, play, Hoseok talks and whether he believes it or not, Yoongi listens. On Jimin's insistence, Yoongi is taken to the vet and sulks under the bed for two whole days. Hoseok pouts and apologizes and shoves a plate of cheeseburger under the bed.

Yoongi weaves into Hoseok's life, learning him in bits and pieces.

He gathers that Hoseok is a bartender a few nights a week, teaches a yoga class every Saturday and Monday and gives private dance or chemistry lessons during the day, whatever student he can get. He finds Hoseok screaming like a banshee at the sight of a spider on the bathroom wall one morning, so Yoongi carries every bug he kills to the trashcan when Hoseok is out.

He learns that Hoseok smiles like the summer and cries like a June rain, a sudden heavy burst but the sun breaks through soon enough, wet and hazy. Sometimes though, Hoseok cries longer than he would in front of anyone else, and Yoongi absorbs the waterworks by smushing his fuzzy body into Hoseok's jaw, purring like a buzzsaw in his ear. He learns what Hoseok's tears taste like, licking them from his dampened fur.

In turn, Hoseok learns what he thinks are just cat quirks: stubborn, observant, intelligent, prone to sudden bursts of energy. Refuses the litter box in favor of the toilet, clearly some feline genius. Refuses cat food in favor of meat, and who could blame him, Hoseok thinks, scraping an untouched can of goopy cat food mush into the garbage. Yoongi's extra cuddly at night. Stares at him constantly. Aloof, but licks tears off his cheek before they can trickle into his ear.

Hoseok doesn't know they're Yoongi quirks, and Yoongi would admit it's slowly eating away at him if he let himself think about it.

-*-

One rainy morning, Yoongi's sleep is abruptly broken by Hoseok's loud voice at the front door clashing with a weird squeaky whimper. He pads into the living room to check out the commotion, fur raised at the sudden tension he woke to.

Hoseok is carrying a drenched puppy, and if a groggy Yoongi hisses, who would fault him. Hoseok is speaking in his most soothing tones, reminiscent of when he first scooped up a river-soaked Yoongi a month ago. He kicks the door closed and stumbles over the rug.

The dog looks like half grown puppy of some large breed, small enough for Hoseok to carry but big enough to make him struggle. Round ears stick out of the gangly ball of fluffy fur. Big black eyes grown bigger with fear catch on Yoongi as Hoseok gently sets him on the sofa.

"Oh shit, your leg," Hoseok hisses. Slick blood is matting the black fur of the dog's quivering back leg, and it shrinks away when Hoseok tries to touch it.

"Shit, okay, we gotta go to the vet, man," Hoseok says, running his hand through his hair with a hard exhale.

As quick as the commotion blew in though the front door, it blows out. Yoongi shivers at his own recent visit to the vet and a bit of sympathy grows in his heart. He's left alone to crackle his teeth on the bowl of dry cat food that Hoseok persists in leaving out for him. He waits and watches the steady stream of the river and colorful umbrellas below, lulled by the wind chime Hoseok hung on the balcony.

-*-

When he wakes from his nap on the windowsill, it's to the sight of Hoseok and the dog coming through the door again. This time the dog seems more defeated than panicked, a thick white bandage wrapped around his back leg.

"Okay my dude," Hoseok's voice is still soft, setting the puppy back on the couch. "You heard the doctor, just a week and the stitches can come out. So just rest, watch tv, don't chase the cat." He laughs like he told a good joke. "I'll be back tonight. I have a lesson and I'm going out with Tae and Joonie for dinner. I'll tell them about how I found you."

Hoseok throws his backpack over his shoulder, turns the tv on to start a Spiderman movie, scratches Yoongi under his chin and he's gone with a jingle of keys, leaving the two animals to stare at each other awkwardly.

The dog makes some weird garbled sounds like it's trying to talk to him. Yoongi hops down to the kitchen counter and across to the back of the armchair. It tries again with little barking yelps and a weak slap of its paw on the couch cushion. He ignores the dog and settles in to watch the movie.

Hoseok never leaves the tv on for me, he grumbles to himself, side-eyeing the sleeping puppy as the end credits roll. He hops down to the coffee table and with some concentrated effort, noses the button to start the next movie.

The puppy is whining in his sleep, body shaking every few breaths. Yoongi really does feel sorry for him, and he seems nice as far as dogs go, no drooling or jumping. Not that he could jump in his current condition, but still, Yoongi knows what it's like to feel totally alone and hope for a kind stranger to save you.

Maybe he's cold, he thinks, watching another shiver wrack the fluffy brown puppy. He recalls a lifetime ago, when his own toy poodle would shiver in the winter without her pink parka on. But that comes with recollections of his parents, and of a Yoongi several versions past and more troubled than the Yoongi now. He shoves the thoughts aside.

Gingerly, he steps over the injured leg and onto the big fluffy tummy, amused at how his little paw disappears into all the fur. He manages to sink into a precarious balance on the sleeping dog, hoping some body heat will make him feel a little better. The tv flickers blue against bookshelves and pillows and fur, sounds bending into his sleepy bones. The fitful rise and fall of the puppy's breath rocks Yoongi into a light sleep, just a little boat on gentle dusk waves.

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*This is not my story but from @ themarmalade on AO3*