5:20 pm

I've been pacing my room for 10 solid minutes, trapped in a mental tug-of-war. Should I dial Yeha's number or chickened out again?

My mind's a jumbled mess - thoughts racing, doubts creeping, and logic flying out the window. It's like running a marathon in my head, with no finish line in sight.

Do I take the leap and risk rejection, or play it safe and potentially miss out? Ugh, why's this so hard?

I glance at my phone, Yeha's number burning a hole in my contacts. My thumb hovers over the dial button, hesitating.

Come on, Seon Ho! Grow a spine!

She has my English notebook as I gave it to her a week ago for book completion, but she hasn't given it back to me. I didn't remind her to give me the book back because why should I if I don't need it? I can't just trouble Yeha.

I should probably give her a ring, but I could also grab the book from her tomorrow. No, tomorrow is when I need to hand in my English assignment.

After having a riveting conversation with my inner voice for a solid 15 minutes, I made the executive decision to opt for texting instead of calling. So, I sent her a text message.

"안녕하세요, 예하!" (Hello, Yeha!)

As I reflect on the past, I realize how much I valued my friendship with Yeha. She was the only girl I felt truly comfortable talking to, the only one who made me feel at ease. But now, our friendship hangs in the balance, strained by the rupture in our friend group. The thought of facing her again, after everything that has transpired, fills me with a sense of loss and melancholy. Yet, I must steel myself for this interaction, as I know it is necessary to retrieve my belongings. Despite the heaviness in my heart, I must muster the courage to confront the reality of our fractured relationship

I am so confused. Should I type 'Do you have my notebook' or 'Can you give me my notebook?'
Ah, what have I turned into? No, I can talk to Yeha, right? Don't tell me that I am hesitating to talk to her! Why?

I've finally pieced it together! Jesper and I are the reason behind all this chaos.

I can already imagine Yeha's expression if she finds out - hurt, disappointment, and guilt. No way, I won't let that happen.

We have to keep this under wraps, for Yeha's sake. Jesper will agree, I'm sure.

Protecting Yeha's feelings has become my top priority.

Eventually, she confessed to having my English notebook. She inquired about dropping by to return it, but I was in no mood for visitors due to unexpected guests at my place. I suggested visiting her instead, but she turned down the offer. Eventually, she proposed meeting up somewhere outside.

Why does she want us to meet somewhere else? Am I supposed to suggest a place? I don't really care about the place anyway. Let's check on Google for some good places in Seoul.

As I stumbled upon a famous café in South Korea, memories of Yeha flooded my mind. The café where we once shared our deepest thoughts and emotions, where every sip of coffee held a piece of our connection. The walls of that cozy corner now feel empty without her presence. I can't bring myself to visit that café again, for fear of being overwhelmed by the bittersweet nostalgia. Yeha, my dear friend and soulmate, I long to mend the broken pieces of our bond. The lingering ache in my heart remains a constant reminder of the void left behind.

I searched for some other places. I found another cafe. A cafe won't be a bad idea.

After firing off a text to her, I strutted over to my wardrobe like a fashion master on a mission. With a flick of my finger, I picked out a mishmash of clothes that would make Lady Gaga proud. Once I had transformed into a walking fashion experiment, I confidently stepped out into the world, ready to turn heads and confuse fashion police everywhere.

I must admit, I just discovered that it would require a 30-minute journey for me to arrive at the cafe, and indeed, it did transpire as such. Upon my arrival, I immediately noticed her making her entrance through the front entrance. In an attempt to avoid the appearance of tardiness, I opted to enter through the back door instead.

I sat on the seat and she greeted me.

I had planned to inquire about her recommendation for the order, but surprisingly, she beat me to it and asked me the same question. This got me pondering on how other men would handle such a scenario. My mind wandered to my father, who, whenever he took my mother out for a meal, always insisted on paying the bill without letting her contribute. Hence, I responded, "it's okay, Yeha! I can't allow you to pay."

These memories are like a heavy weight on my heart, causing frustration and sadness to consume me. These memories are like knife twisting in my heart. I remember the times when I would always insist on paying the bill, and she would never object. It wasn't because she didn't want to pay, but because she knew I would never allow it. And now, seeing her almost arguing with me to pay the bill, it feels like a painful reminder of how our dynamic has changed. I can't help but feel like I am constantly losing to her, unable to overcome this weakness within me. But despite all of this, seeing her in front of me once again brought a bittersweet sense of happiness. It's just us, like old times in a café filled with memories of laughter and study sessions. The Sundays we used to spend together seem like a distant past, and it hurts to realize that we haven't properly talked in months. The pain of our drifting apart weighs heavily on my heart, and I long for the days when we were close and connected.

In the end, I agreed and ordered something cheap, like a cappuccino.

Suddenly, the room fell quiet. Yeha's gaze made me feel like I was about to become her next meal!

Perhaps she is reminiscing about the same memories as me. Perhaps, she is also pleased to see us reunited after such a long time.

I still remember that one of my ex-friends used to like Yeha. Who wouldn't like her, she is gorgeous, beautiful, words can't define her beauty.

She asked me how my day was going, and I lied because I didn't want to tell her that I found a rat in my house this morning. Later, she asked me if I wanted something else to eat, and I honestly didn't want her to spend her money on me, so I declined. But I assumed that she wanted something to eat with the cappuccino, so I asked her if she wanted to eat something, but she also declined!

This silence was making me feel so uneasy and uncomfortable. Therefore, I asked her about her food preferences

I didn't expect her to say "떡볶이" whereas, she knows that I have the idea about her towards 떡볶이, my mom, aunt, cousin sister all of these females in my life preferred sweet food but Yeha wasn't like them, she preferred spicy food like me. (Tteokbokkie)

Gradually, I was feeling comfortable while talking to her, but when the waiter brought the cappuccinos, my smile faded.

There was a heart made on top of the coffee (cappuccino). I had no clue what expression I was supposed to make, so I didn't make one.

To ruin the heart, I took a sip of the coffee. Honestly, that coffee tasted perfectly heavenly!

I looked at Yeha and found her staring at me, maybe it's just my handsome face that makes her stare at me. I giggled a little, without her noticing. She asked me about the coffee to which I replied "Good!"

Amidst our conversation she brought up the topic of my good academic performance .At that moment I felt provoked by her quick conclusion which suggested I was solely focused on academics and had no other talents such as music and sports.

All of a sudden Yeha's phone rang. I began to wonder who had called her until Yeha said "엄마 안녕하세요!" . It did not take me long to realize that she was just about to go. I still had the lingering urge to get to know her better and I found myself thinking of an excuse to make her stay. (Mom, hello!)

I found that her cappuccino had still not been finished and I tried to stop her by asking her to stay and finish the drink. Too which she said " I'm deeply sorry , but I'm in a bit of a hurry. How about we meet tomorrow instead ? "

"Sure," I replied as I watched her run across the store as all of a sudden I heard a scream "Ahh oh my god" she yelled. The waiter had just spilled a cup of matcha latte all over her clothes. The waiter who was also in shock had a slight hint of fear on his face . He quickly bowed as he apologised "Ma'am I am extremely sorry I did not mean to spill the drink all over you , I was in a rush and didn't see you" I heard her mumble under her breath "God I hate embarassing myself this way" She then forced a smile on her face while she said "No don't worry at all I did not see you either I should have paid more attention to where I was going, I too apologise."

I examined Yeah and noticed that her white top was turning see-through and it was definitely not safe for her to ride alone in a taxi therefore, I requested her to let me drop her to her home but she refused, yet somehow I managed to convince her.

We sat in the car and awkward silence surrounded us. So, I broke the silence.

"So, we have never chatted like this before?"

I meant that we haven't been in a such a situation before. Where we both were hesitating to talk to eachother.

I expected her to ask me something serious or something related with academics but to my delight she asked me about my self and past, to which I was contended to answer.

After a while she asked me to drop her off at the footpath nearby and i disagreed to her , I mean " with these clothes?" . I surely did not find it safe for me to leave her at the footpath but I had no other choice as she informed me that she was going somewhere else . I said "안녕, 예하!" And took my leave. (Bye, Yeha!)