Hey guys I'm here today I hope I can be this consistence. I'm here with today's update I hope u enjoy it.

DARCY POV

Maybe I shouldn't have ghosted him, I knew I still had feeling for him but I thought it faded after I met Dan.

'Maybe Dan was just a distraction for you when you thought you couldn't be  with Nicole'.  I refuse to agree with my inner thought , what I and Dan had before he died was real, I loved Dan and I refuse to admit he was a distraction of my feelings to Nicole.

If Dan had been alive I'm sure I wouldn't think about this whole situation in that direction, if Dan had been alive I would have been married to him and I won't have cause to question if my love for him was true, but why does one single word from Nicole made all my buried feelings for Nicole surge back. I can't even understand my emotion anymore. He hasn't even called me up to this moment and I missed the time we spent together.

I would have called him but his phone is switched off, whenever I call his office, he is always busy, and can't pick up but he could have called me back but he didn't.

I don't even care about his engagement with Phoebe, although it hurt thinking about it but all I want is my best friend I missed hanging out with him.

"Are you just going to sit there with out helping me in the kitchen".  I snap out of my thought facing my mother's figure moving in the kitchen, preparing dishes for our family dinner.

"can you set the table, your brothers will be around anytime from now".  Mother said as she pull the pie out of the oven.

"I thought Caleb is not coming home till next weekend?" I asked  her as I stood up to set the table as she had said.

"I don't know why he is coming this weekend, he just called to tell me he would be dropping by for the dinner". I nodded my head even though I know she can't see me.

"He also said he is coming with company",  Oh I thought to my self.

I finished setting the table and moved to the kitchen to start clearing the dish from the kitchen to the dinning as mother removed the  jug of pineapple  juice from the fridge and place it at the center of the table.

"Harry! Get your ass down this instance" my mum shout out for my dad to come down.

"Mum" I said shaking my head she turned to me with her hand on her waist.

"What Darcy, he his my husband and I can call him what ever I like", She replied me. How my dad manage to keep up with her energy I can't tell. Anyways they were high school lover but they didn't marry each other until after their college.

Dad is a surgeon, but he works as a consultant for different hospital in Singapore, he is a well known orthopedic surgeon. While mum went to culinary school, where she further her cooking and baking skills. I really can't blame her energy if she has to taste a lot of sweet things everyday.

I have two younger brothers,  James is a police officer and Caleb who is in his final year in college studying international relations.

"Hello families", the familiar voice of Caleb fill the hallway.

"Oh mother I've missed your dishes, I can't wait to devouring them all".  Caleb said has he stepped into the dinning room the same time father descend from the stairs.

"Oh my boy" mother said has she pulled Caleb into her embrace.

"Who do you have here with you?" Mother asked seeing the lady she knew before hand would be coming but she is acting like she doesn't know the lady was coming with my brother.

Pushing Caleb from her embrace she moved to pull the girl into her arm.

"What your name sweethear?" mother asked her as she moved her towards one of the dinning chairs.

"Tabitha ma". She replied settling into the chair offered to her.

"Really are you Jewish? " mother asked her.

"Yes ma. "

"No dear you make me look old when you say ma, you can call me Stephanie". I shake my head mother can be so nosy at times.

Every one had settled round the table, mother dished the food. Everywhere became silence as every one ate their food, this silence is deafen, dinner at the house isn't  always this silence, I look at mum I knew she was trying as much as possible not to talk or I'm I wrong.

"Let cut this crap"she said after a while.

"Darcy how is work?" Mother asked me.

"Huh work is fine mum", I really don't like where this conversation is going to, she could have spoken with Caleb and get to know the Jewish girl he brought.

"So work was fine, huh?" She asked and I nodded in response.

"Did you call the number I gave to you? You know Ben is a good guy."she said  wiping a trail of soup from the coner of her mouth.

"you can't keep thinking about Dan his death wasn't your fault, you've dwelt with this grife enough you have to move on with your life" she said standing up to get the pie she prepared earlier.

I tried as much as possible not to leave the room in annoyance instead I tighten my grip round the spoon. I felt a hand squeeze my thigh in comfort, I used my eyes to trace the hand on my lap my eyes land on Tabitha, she gave me a small smile and squeeze my thigh once more before withdrawing her hand.

"Harry could you grab the wine in the fridge behind you" mother said placing the pie on the table and begin to slice the pie placing it on disposable plates then placing each plate to it owner. Father opened the wine and walks round the table pouring wine into the glass of everyone. Everywhere became silent again, no one refusing to break the tension that still lingers in the room from mum's comment.

"Darcy, I don't mean to get you pissed off" she said placing her fork on her plate.

" what I'm saying is that, we all know you loved Dan but Dan is no longer here, all you have to do is open your heart more and you will see that there is more men like Dan out there all you have to do is try". She said picking her fork and placing another piece of pie in her mouth. I can't stand it again I'm going home.

"Mother, father thanks for the meal, I have a shift by 8:30 this evening so I will be leaving earlier", I turned facing Tabitha "it was nice meeting you", even if this was the first word I said to her since her arrival.

"by the way I'm Darcy, Caleb elder sister but he won't stop teasing about my height after he grew taller than me", I said laughing at my joke and moved to ruffle Caleb hair.

"I already told you not to ruffle my hair, I'm not your pet"he said batting my hands away, every one laughed at his comment, at least the room wasn't tense any more.

"There is a packed bag in the kitchen, take it to James at his office on your way since he couldn't make it for the dinner"mother said. I picked the bag from the kitchen, pecking my dad on his chin and and mum one her forehead as she whispered another apology.

Stepping out of the house I walked further into the street to the direction of the police district office. I was greeted at the door by one of James colleague his name is jack but i'm not sure if I'm correct. I turned the direction of clustered policemen round a table that has a lot of paper pin to it. I stood behind hoping Will finish very soon, as time went by I couldn't help but step forward and dragged the hem of a brown haired man

"What the fuck Darcy" he whispered at the sudden movement.

"What, you missed dinner and mum asked me to drop this on my way to the hospital" I whispered back pushing the packed bag into his chest, he took it and scoff at me, I scoff back at him.

"God, Darcy no one will believe your are older than I am". I Scoffed at him again.

"Who cares as far as you know I'm older, so I will leave now for you to head back to whatever you guys were doing before I dragged you". I said, he pulled me into his arm and hug me, no he was squeezing me not hugging me.

"You know I'm not your teddy bear" I said hitting his back trying to pulling away, he laughed as he loosen his arm around me.

"Bye Darcy call me if you need anything". He said waving at me as I walk out of the station will, "i've heard you" I said waving back at him.

I wonder why all of them think I need help I can handle myself just fine, I thought to myself.

After my shift in the hospital, I thought to myself every one feels I have to move on, maybe I should but I still feel guilty, why I'm I entitled to happiness if Dan is in the grave because of me....

how do you all feel about the cliffhanger
Why do you think Darcy blame herself for Dan's death?
Have you every felt guilty for causing a problem?
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see you all in my next update tomorrow.