GABRIEL

If I were a better man, I would've let her go the moment I set my eyes on her today. Instead, I stupidly asked her to stay.

In my defense, I couldn't just tell her to go. Not after everything she's been through. The guy she was dating did a number on her, according to Maria. Jo is one of the greatest people I know and she deserved much more than a guy who can't keep his dick inside his pants.

Maria had also mentioned how sad Jo was and it pissed me off I couldn't do anything. Then my little sister said she was thinking about inviting Jo to spend some time at our family beach house and I didn't think things through. I just got on a plane and came here.

After our European tour, all I wanted was a place I could forget my problems for a little while. I love being on the stage and music is my life. But after the bomb our lead singer dropped on us, I needed a break. It was like one thing after the other and I felt like my head was about to explode

So, as you see, I didn't think things through. I needed an out and learning Jo was maybe coming here was all the incentive I needed to pack my stuff and leave my shit behind.

Now, here I am, wondering what the fuck I'm doing as she's unpacking her things in the bedroom down the hall. My family would kill me if they knew how much I want this girl. My parents consider her family and my sister has told me time after time she would never forgive me if I ever messed with her best friend and their friendship.

In a nutshell, my sister thinks I'm a man-whore and the world paints me as a player. But I think I'm far from it. Yeah, I love sex and I love women and their sweet scent and their soft curves. I'm not gonna lie. But I never promise them anything more than a good time.

And so far, that's all they've wanted from me, too.

They want me for my body and what I can offer them. None of them is interested in the real me. I don't care if it makes me the bad guy or not. I just know I'm single and that sex is just sex. Not a holy fucking event.

But, God! Jo is off-limits! Totally off-limits! No matter how attracted to her I am.

I do have to confess that seeing her after so long hit me hard, though. She's even more beautiful than I remembered; even more captivating. We obviously follow each other online, but seeing her face-to-face today brought me to my knees.

Her big brown eyes look sharper and wiser. Her cheeks are high and more defined as she got rid of her baby face. People say she looks like a younger version of Beyonce, and I can see why. They have the same captivating smile and share the same skin tone and curves. The way Jo's curly hair is now longer and dyed honey blond also helps with the comparisons.

But Jo is... Damn, she's different.

There's something unique about her. Something that makes you do a double-take every time she walks into a room. Something in the way she walks and the way she talks just make you want to get closer to her.

She is gorgeous, yeah. Inside out... Has always been.

At around 5' 7'', the top of her head fits nicely under my chin. You may wonder how I know that. Well, it's because memories of her twenty-first birthday still haunt me in my dreams.

Maria had convinced Jo to throw a pool party at our place, and I swear to God she got the smallest pair of bikini sets I've ever seen. The turquoise color contrasted perfectly with her golden-brown skin. Her long limbs and sweet curves fucked with my head in ways no other woman ever did.

I spent that whole Sunday nursing beer after beer and hiding my hard-on. Then, it was time to open the presents. I got her the full romance book collection she wanted, and she threw herself in my arms.

For a second, I just stood there in shock. I had made it a mission to never touch her. Ever. And there she was, hugging the hell out of me. Then, a moment later, as if having a mind of their own, my arms were holding her tiny waist, and my chin dropped to the top of her head.

Eventually, I eased my grip on her and she went back to the pile of presents in front of her. I felt awkward and my heart was beating funny in my chest. I tried to catch her eyes to see if maybe she was feeling something, too. But she was already laughing and joining her friends.

To this day, I still remember the feeling of her soft skin against my hands. But I made a promise to myself I'd never go there with her. My life is a mess. I have nothing to offer her and she deserves the fucking world.

So again, what the fuck am I doing?

Shaking my head, I start seasoning the steaks in front of me. This house is big enough that we can cohabitate with no trouble. I'm not sure how long she plans to stay, but I'll be probably hitting the road soon. I didn't come here to mess with my relationship with Jo. I came because I needed a break and maybe to write a couple of songs for the band's next album. Well, if the band is still together for the next album.

I just know I didn't come here to be thinking about Jo and how gorgeous she is.

"Hey, can I help you with anything?" She enters the kitchen and leans by my side on the counter. Her delicious scent soon envelops me and I wonder how in the world a woman can smell so good.

"Can you chop these tomatoes? I've been eating like shit lately. I could use some salad." I head to the wine cabinet on the left, putting some distance between us.

"I thought a rock star as famous as you would have access to a private chef?" I hear the humor in her voice and can't help but chuckle.

"Believe it or not..." I open a bottle of wine and pour us some. "We spent so much time on the road that burgers and beers were our go-to meal most of the time."

"Well, I'd definitely get a private chef if I were in your shoes." She smiles when I hand her a glass. There's a lot of mischief in her eyes, and I'll be dammed if it doesn't make me want to kiss it away.

"Well..." I clink my glass to hers. "Says the girl whose father is a millionaire."

Chuckling, she takes a sip of her wine, her eyes narrowing. "Is that how you see me? As a spoiled daddy's girl?"

"Ummm..." I lean on the counter, studying her. "That's a tricky question."

"Why is that?"

"Your dad is one of the most requested lawyers in the country. You live in a great house in a rich neighborhood he chose for you as far as I know... Yet..."

"Yet?" She tilts her head to the side, a little smirk on her lips.

"Yet, you chose to be your own person and not accept a dime from him except the house he bought you." I put my glass aside, fully focusing on her now.

"Maria is a chatterbox." She finishes her wine and goes back to chopping the tomatoes and adding them to the salad bowl.

"Hey! Don't shoot the messenger." I wink. "The grill is ready. Let's take this stuff outside." I choose not to press her, and instead, get the steaks and the potato salad I made earlier as we walk outside.

We work in silence but in perfect sync. And soon, we're both sitting in front of each other with the sea as our backyard. The weather is nice again, and the clear blue sky above us hides the vestiges of the summer rain from earlier today.

"You earned everything you have." She shrugs as she fills her plate with food, and I sense she's going back to our conversation. "Your parents are successful doctors, and yet you've worked your ass off to get where you are now."

"My father and I have fundamental differences when it comes to getting a job and building a career. I had to leave home if I ever wanted to pursue my dream with the band. I had no option but to get out in the world." I refill our glasses, our eyes meeting when I'm done. "But you already know that."

"Sometimes, I forget you're this big rock star with the world at your feet, you know?" She gives me a warm smile that goes straight to my heart.

"I wouldn't say I have the world at my feet..." I murmur, filling my mouth with food.

"Right." Her eyes flash with humor. "Maria told me she talked to your manager a couple of months ago and the story involving the ten topless groupies waiting for you guys on your bus was true."

"Fuck! Maria is indeed a chatterbox." I look away for a second, wondering what else my little sister has talked about me.

"Come on, you do have the world at your feet." She points her fork at me. "Millions of records sold worldwide. Innumerous music awards."

"How cliché would it be if I said I miss the normality of being able to go to the market without people getting my picture or asking for an autograph?" I lean back in my seat, smiling when she snorts.

"Too cliché." She grins, which draws my attention to her mouth. "But I get it."

"Our favorite chatterbox girl said you did well with your debut novel. You're quite famous yourself. I even got myself a copy, you know?" I give her foot a nudge with my own, loving when she raises her eyebrows, a little flustered.

"Please, tell me you didn't read it." She closes her eyes, pink coloring her cheeks.

"Then, I'd be lying." I let out a full-blown smile when she groans.

Looking down, she shakes her head. "I know it sounds crazy, but I hate when people I know read my stuff. It's like I want my books out there and all that, but..."

"It's too personal," I say, and her eyes snap back to mine. For a second she just looks at me, but then something passes behind her eyes and she shifts her attention to her food.

"You write most of the songs for the band even though you're the guitarist... Is it weird to see your music out there for the entire world to see it?"

"Some of them, yeah," I say. She's still not looking at me, but my eyes are glued to her. Sunlight hits the side of her face, highlighting the delicate lines of her jaw as she turns her head to look at the sea. Fucking hell, she's beautiful.

"And I also love writing sex scenes." She skips a glance at me as she takes a sip of her wine, smirking behind her glass. My dick goes from what-the-hell to hard in a nanosecond, and I need a minute before I can think about something coherent to say.

"See?" she chuckles as she cuts her steak. "It's weird to have your family and friends reading the sex scenes you write."

"They were, uh... really well written." I clear my throat, remembering how graphic some of those scenes were.

"That means a lot coming from someone like you." The corner of her mouth quirks, but her smile doesn't reach her eyes.

Something hot and uncomfortable swells in my chest, making my voice a little strained when I finally speak. "Someone like me?"

"You know... You are.. Let's say you've had a lot of experience in the area." She raises her eyebrows as if challenging me.

"What does that even mean?" My eyes narrow as I try to understand where the hell she's going with this talk.

Her gaze is defiant as if daring me in a way. "Come on, Gabe. You've never been in a serious relationship as far as I know. And you've never hidden the fact you're all about just having a good time when it comes to sex."

"Wow." I let out a humorless chuckle. "So, is that how you see me?"

"I don't mean it as something bad... I love sex too. It's just that sex for me means something different, you know?"

"Right. Sex is a sacred act for you." I shake my head, not understanding why I'm getting worked up over this. I'm not ashamed to treat sex as it is. And what she's saying is true. But when she looks at me like she thinks I'm just like every other man she's met, it hurts a little.

"Not really. I just value my body enough to care about who I'm sleeping with." She shrugs, not looking at me, which only serves to irk me further.

"You think I don't value my body enough or that I don't care about the women I sleep with?" I ask and she finally meets my eyes for good, as if coming out of a fog.

"What?" she whispers, her head shaking. "No. God, no! That's not what I mean at all. Things are just coming out wrong out of my mouth. You're single and free to do whatever you want. I just..."

"Jo, I..."

"Gabe." She sighs, a sad look on her face as she interrupts me. "You don't need to justify yourself. I'm sorry about everything I said. I guess I'm just projecting my own issues here. It has nothing to do with you."

"He really did a number on you, huh?" I lean back in my chair, hating when she looks down. Is she still in love with that asshole? Is that it?

"Rationally, I know not all men are the same, but with my history, I'm a little wary now. I'm sorry." She gives me a sad smile and realization finally dawns on me. She's not talking only about her ex. She's talking about her father too. I had forgotten all about her parents' divorce until this moment. But it all makes sense now.

Her father was having an affair with a woman from work, and Jo was the one who found out right when she was about to start college. Their relationship has been stranded ever since. And now her ex ended up reiterating how untrustworthy men can be.

Of course, she would think all men are jerks.

Damn it!

She's looking at me like she's sorry she hurt my feelings, but deep down I can see how she really believes I'm just like her father and her ex. I want to tell her I'm different. That I'd never break her heart like that.

But I'm not that man for her. I remind myself. I'm not the one who can offer her what she deserves.

"I get it, you know." I wink at her before refilling our glasses. "No need to apologize. If you ever need a big brother to kick your ex's ass, I'm your man."

"Uh, right..." She raises her eyebrows, but before she can say anything else, my phone rings with a call from Dave, the band's drummer.

"I really need to take that." I don't. The last thing I want is to talk to Dave right now. But I sense we could use a break.

"Sure." She nods, and I give her a smile before walking down the stairs that lead to the beach.

_____

A/N: Thanks for reading guys! It's my first time writing a guy's POV. I'd love to hear what you think! :)

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Celeste