JOANNA

Staring into the mirror, I can't help but frown at what I see. My hair is sticking out in all directions, my makeup is smeared across my face, and my clothes are clinging to me from the dampness. I had envisioned a very different first day for this retreat thing, and rushing to look somehow human again while freaking Gabriel Morales is waiting for me was not part of my plans.

Growing up on the same street, we've known each other since we were kids. His sister and I went from kindergarten to college together. We're basically sisters. We're family. Her parents are amazing and have always treated me like a daughter, but him...

I don't even remember when this ridiculous crush started. It has just always been there, no matter how much I've tried to ignore it. He's three years older than me, and by the time I finally realized boys were not gross, he was already breaking girls' hearts and making sure he only ever saw me as his little sister's best friend.

Argh! Why am I even remembering all these things? Letting out a deep sigh, I take off my wet clothes and put on a fresh pair of jeans and a clean tank top. I need to focus here.

Gabe and I haven't seen each other in years, for heaven's sake.

I don't know why I'm so worked up.

I'm freaking over this stupid crush. Damn it!

I came here to write and for a change of scenery. Not to be drooling over Gabe.

After taking my time washing my face and carefully pulling my hair up into a cute pineapple ponytail, I can no longer hide away in the bathroom. I have to face him.

Drawing in a deep, reassuring breath, I head toward the living room. I can still taste the sweetness of their mom's homemade lemonade, as I recall all the summer breaks I spent in this house. I'm familiar with every corner of this place, and it brings me a sense of comfort.

The house provides a cozy, homey feeling while also being spacious and accommodating. The living room is enormous, with plenty of sunlight streaming through the windows. The kitchen is equipped with modern amenities. Besides the three rooms and a master bedroom, the house boasts a large swimming pool in the backyard. This place is perfect, with everything I need to forget about the world for a while.

Well, everything I need if you don't count the tanned, shirtless Adonis smiling at me as I join him in the living room.

"Hey," I say. "Still not a fan of wearing a shirt, I see?"

"You were never offended before." He keeps the smile on his face, but I see a trace of red washing over his cheeks.

"And you're still really full of yourself, huh?" I narrow my eyes, but can't keep the humor out of my voice.

He's still one of the hottest men I know, with his light blue eyes and full lips. His golden brown hair is longer and tousled in that sexy just-rolled-out-of-bed way. His skin is deliciously sun-kissed and his jaw is coated with a day-old stubble. It's been a while since I last saw him, but he's still able to make my heart race like no other man.

Now if you pair all that with a confident personality and a body of a Greek God, you'll get why I've been crushing on him since I was too young to be crushing on boys.

Being three years older and the brother of my best friend, he's always been off-limits. Maria always got weirded out when our friends started ogling and crushing on him, so I always hid my feelings. It doesn't mean I didn't want him all to myself back then. Even though he never saw me as more than his little sister's best friend.

But now you're twenty-five and he's twenty-eight. You're not kids anymore. My subconscious reminds me, making me swallow.

Damn it! I didn't come here for this. I'm better off celibate and single.

I've just seen the damage a good-looking guy can do. I don't even want to imagine the mess that a world-famous rock star like Gabe, who has a line of groupies waiting for him everywhere he goes, could bring me.

"Here." He gets two beers from the coffee table. "I thought you could use one."

"Oh, thanks." I clink my bottle to his, watching as he gets comfortable on a large L-shaped couch. "I'm so sorry for barging in. I didn't know you were staying here, too. I'm going to get my stuff so I can hit the road."

"Why?" He frowns, his eyes studying me curiously.

"Why what?"

"Why are you leaving? There's plenty of room here for the both of us." He shrugs as if us living in this house by ourselves wasn't weird.

"Uh, I'm not sure I'll be pleasant company." I released a quick breath. "I'm just coming out of a nasty breakup and..."

"His eyes lock on mine. "Oh! I've heard."

"Great!" I roll my eyes, taking a seat on the far end of the couch so I can drink my beer.

"That guy was a bastard and deserved to have his ass kicked for what he did to you." He scoffs, then takes a sip of his beer. "I'm glad he's out of the picture."

"You've only met him once or twice." I chuckle, despite myself, before taking a sip of my beer, too. I had forgotten how big brotherly he can be.

"Enough to know you're better off without him, anyway." He turns his body, so he's fully facing me, and I can't quite understand the emotion behind his eyes.

"Ha! Only my life is a mess after we broke up." I shake my head, taking one last sip of my beer before I stand up. "I should get going while it's still early."

"Come on, Jo! We've known each other our whole life. Why don't you stay? I'll feel bad if you leave just because I'm here." He stands up too, stopping right in front of me.

"I don't know..." I look down, willing my heart to stop beating so fast.

Jesus! What is wrong with me and this guy? It's been years since I last saw him. Why can't my poor heart behave?

"Come on. You drove all the way here. I promise I won't be on your way." His soft words and the comforting heat of his hands as he rubs my arms make me feel like I am melting away.

Damn it, my poor heart is already saying yes. Traitor.

"Are you sure?" I look back at him, and he gives me a warm smile.

"Let's get your bags to your room."

*****

This is definitely a bad idea.

Yet, look at me here unpacking all my stuff!

Gabe has just shown me my room and asked me to find him downstairs when I'm ready. It finally stopped raining, and he offered to grill us some steaks while we catch up.

I'm still trying to figure out how I went from moping around and plotting ways to kill Jaxon to hanging out with my best friend's brother. I know I sound ridiculous and that Gabe is just a guy, but the idea of leaving this room to catch up with him is messing with me.

Besides Maria, I can't even remember the last time I just sat down with an old friend just to hang out. I've been so stuck in the hamster wheel I created for myself that my life had orbited around Jaxon and my work.

Before I even met him, I had already mapped out my life. I wanted to ensure a steady income as a freelance editor, check in on my mom often, work hard to build a successful writing career, and explore the world. All along with building a family at some point, being a mom...

That all seems like a distant memory now. Getting involved with a man again is the last thing I want or need right now. And apart from my mom doing fine and my editing job paying the bills, my plans to make a career out of writing is non-existing when I can't even type two sentences.

After taking my time in the shower and ensuring I look as put together as possible, I call Maria. But she's such a workaholic, she's not picking up. I love she wanted me to breathe some fresh air and leave my house for a while, but she obviously knew that her brother would be here and that I was looking for some alone time.

I try calling her again, and when she doesn't answer, I shoot her a text.

ME: I could be dead right now and you're not picking up your phone!

She takes a while to reply.

MARIA: Gabe texted me. I know you're alive! ;)

ME: What did he tell you?

MARIA: He asked if I would come to meet you guys on the weekend since you're crashing there for some time too.

Of course, he would want her here too. It's totally weird for us to be here alone. He was obviously just being polite when he invited me to stay.

Shit!

ME: No need. I'm leaving so I can kill you in person.

MARIA: What? Why? No! Come on, you could use some time on the beach.

ME: Uh? Because it's weird?

MARIA: Why is it weird? You've known Gabe your whole life. It's like he's your brother, too.

Right! And he clearly still sees me as a sister. Not that I care. I'm over men and their bullshit.

ME: I don't know... I feel like I'm invading his personal space.

MARIA: Don't be ridiculous! He adores you and I'm sure he'll enjoy your company. Look, I have to go. Just stop overthinking it and enjoy yourself! You deserve it. XO.

Am I ashamed to say my eyes are glued to the 'he adores you' part of her text? Yes. Does it mean I'm trying to at least stop smiling? No. Am I a fool? Absolutely.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Food is almost ready.

Me: I'm sorry. Who's it?

UNKNOWN NUMBER: I got a new phone. Maria gave me your number.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Oh, it's Gabe. :)

No! No! No! Dear heart, don't go beating too fast. He's not trying to be cute. We don't need the mess that finding him cute will bring us. We're on a no-man-for-at-least-an-year phase. We came here for self-discovery and inspiration.

God, we're over this man.

So, please, silly heart, I beg you.

Get your shit together and don't go messing with my head.

I have a plan, and Gabe is not part of it.

______

A/N: Thank you for reading! Don't forget to add this story to your library/ reading lists!

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XOXO

Celeste