"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not." Andre Gide

• • •

By the time that school has come to an end, I'm more than ready to go home and bury myself inside my blankets and just cry. I could really use a good cry right about now.

Today has been crazy and so so irritating. I'm just happy I didn't have to add Carter to my list of annoying things today. At least it's Friday.

Instead of hitching a ride with Abel, Rolo is dropping me off side Marcel has some errands to run.

Abel said he needs to pick up some stuff before he comes to mine so I'll be seeing him later.

While I'm waiting, I change into one of Abel's hoodies and some spandex running shorts even though I don't run. But there just so nice and comfort is what I'm going for tonight.

I'm turning on Netflix when Abel arrives with a bag of food and a rucksack.

"Abel why do you have so much stuff?" I ask.

He climbs onto my bed and starts taking out the items from the Asda bag. He brings out some Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream, some chocolate, two bottles of lucozade, period pills and heating pads.

"I read online that this stuff can be helpful I think." He scratches the back of his head nervously while looking at me.

I'm so close to bursting into tears right now. He's just too cute!

"Abel you didn't have to do all this." I respond back.

"I know but I wanted to. You seemed so unhappy today and I wanted to make you smile."

I giggle lightly, "You always make me smile."

We lean back on my bed with everything around us and me in Abel's arms.

"Brown Eyes is that my hoodie your wearing?"

"Well yeah. You can have it back for a bit to put your smell in it if you want. As long as I get it back." I say nonchalantly.

Abel chuckles at me,"You realise that since it's mine I technically don't have to ask."

I give him an incredulous look, "You mean ours."

He shakes his head at me while I put on Greys Anatomy from where we left off.

Halfway through the show Abel gets hot and takes off the jumper he's wearing exposing a tight fitted black shirt. As he lifts it up, the bottom of his abs and V line are clear for me to see along with his muscular arms.

I also forgot to mention that being on my period makes me more attracted to him so that small sight of Abel's incredible body does crazy things to my inside.

He runs his hands through his hair and licks his full plump lips while completely oblivious to my stares.

Deciding to take matters into my own hands, I start trailing kisses starting from Abel's shoulders to his neck where I suck gently and nip the skin lightly before soothing it with my tongue.

Abel gulps loudly and exhales a deep breath, "What are you doing?" He Asks.

"Nothing." I whisper back.

I run my hands up and down his chest and even go as far as placing my hand underneath his shirt causing his muscles to jump at the simple touch.

Abel has obviously had enough of my teasing as he pulls me onto his lap and slams his lips against mine. I tug gently on his hair while nipping his bottom lip slightly causing him to moan out loud. That simple sound sends jolts of pure adrenaline through my veins urging me on even more.

Abel breaks contact and places his head in the crook of my neck where he runs his tongue along my sensitive spot before sucking deeply. His hands roam all over my body from my thighs to my arms to my cheeks feeling like electricity with every touch.

My back arches towards Abel of its own accord as a moan escapes my lips.

Unconsciously, I start moving on Abel's lap causing him to let out a deep and unfiltered groan that sends vibrations throughout my whole body.

I immediately start to feel something poking between my legs alerting me that it's time to stop.

I pull away from him with much struggle and stare into his captivating eyes, "We should um, we should stop." I say while still breathing heavily.

Abel nods at me but doesn't reply.

I move a bit on his lap causing him to let out another guttural moan.

"Don't move yet baby. I need to relax a bit for a second."

Fully knowing what he means, I comply with his wishes.

I eventually move off him and lay down next to him once again. I can't believe I just ravaged him like that it's so embarrassing. I cover my face with my hands and let out a weird sound.

"What's wrong Brown Eyes?"

"I can't believe I just pounced on you like that!" I exclaim.

Abel lets out a husky chuckle before pulling my hands away from my face, "Trust me I enjoyed it. But where did it come from?"

I mumble an incoherent sentence that I'm fully aware he can't hear.

"Huh?" He Asks.

I sigh out loud, "I said, this time of the month makes me desire you more I guess." I suck my head out of embarrassment as Abel stares at me.

"Really?"

"Yes.."

"Then I'd be so very happy to appease your desires." Abel looks at me with hooded eyes as his eyes grow a shade darker.

We have a few more make out sessions that leaves Abel with more than one hickey and swollen lips.

"You drive me crazy baby." He says in a low voice.

I sigh happily and lean closer to him.

We stay silent for a while when a thought comes to mind, "Abel, would you still like me if I was fat?" I ask.

"Brown Eyes, I would never judge you for the size that you are. I lo-like you because of your amazing personality and who you are. On top of that, you're so unbelievably beautiful that you constantly capture my attention. I know it would be the same even if you were bigger. What brought that up?" He peers down at me.

"I don't know, I was just thinking I guess."

"You don't think you're fat now do you?" He asks.

I bite my lip and shrug. Sometimes I feel like I'm fat and look fat to other people and it can be hard to remove those thoughts no matter how much I try.

Abel pulls me to lay beneath him as he caresses my cheeks, "I can tell you in detail why I think you're beautiful baby."

He grabs hold of one of my legs and wraps it around his waist before rubbing his hand up and down my thigh, "Your legs are amazing. If you haven't noticed, I love touching them in anyway I can."

I kind of have noticed.

He lifts my hoodie up slightly making me tense. I don't like having my stomach fully exposed. It's kind of embarrassing since I know it's not as flat as I would have liked.

He presses a small kiss there before speaking, "To me, your stomach is perfect the way it is. I don't want you to ever feel ashamed or hide from me."

I refrain from shedding any tears since I know it'll only concern Abel.

"Your hands, your lips, your eyes. I love it all. There's nothing about you that I don't like Brown Eyes. Your perfect to me. You're not fat and I don't think you're fat okay? So stop worrying so much."

He flips us over so that I'm laying on him with my head on his chest. The combination of his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back, the constant beating of heart and his soft singing is enough to lull me to sleep.

• • •

I wake up with my back to Abel and his arm thrown tightly against my stomach. I check the time on my phone to find that it's Saturday morning which means he slept over.

I know for sure that my parents hadn't agreed to this yet so I wonder what Abel said to make this happen.

Pushing this thought to the back of my mind, I turn gently to face him. His silky locks are adorably ruffled while his lips are parted slightly allowing soft snores to escape.

I trace my fingers along his pink lips and can't help but lean down to press mine against his tenderly.

He stirs slightly and I quickly freeze my movement in an attempt to stop him from waking up.

Once he stills, I resume my path on his face and take in his strong straight nose and give it a little peck.

I lift my gaze up to his eyes to find him already awake staring at me.

I jump slightly before smiling at him.

"Morning." His voice is deep and raspy from the lack of use but it's so so sexy.

I do Abel a huge favour by not replying so I don't kill him with my morning breath. Instead, I just nod.

"Did you sleep well?" His warm breath and washes over me which conveniently smells of mint. How is that even possible?!

Once again I nod at him.

Abel scrunches his brows and tightens his arms around me, "Why aren't you speaking?"

I cover my mouth with my hand and reply, "Morning breath." I mutter.

Abel lets out a low chuckle, "I don't care. Now kiss me good morning."

He leans down to me but I wiggle out of his hold and run straight to the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth and wash my face.

When I return, Abel is sitting up and stretching causing his muscles to flex.

Geez, could he turn it off for a minute.

I quickly get distracted by the beautiful view that I barely notice when Abel clears his throat at me.

He raises one eyebrow, "Like what you see?" He asks with a smirk.

"As a matter of fact, I do."

I surprise the both of us by jumping onto my bed and pushing Abel into a lying down position before placing myself on top of him.

I place feather like kisses all over his face until he forces his lips against mine.

I run my hands up and down his chest feeling every dip and crevice of his abs.

Abel cheekily moves his hands down to my butt making me gasp out loud.

The intensity of our kisses continue to grow until it feels like my blood is boiling and my skin is on fire.

I sit up on his lap and remove Abel's hoodie, leaving me in just a thin cami.

Abel's eyes glaze over with desire immediately as his eyes fall to my chest and his hands tighten on my waist.

Forgetting that I'm not wearing a bra, I lean down to nibble on his chin before soothing it with my tongue. I run my hands through his hair and tug on it causing Abel to put me closer.

The action makes my top slip down slightly, making me less than decent.

Abel groans loudly as if he's in pain jolting me away from him, "What's wrong?" I ask breathlessly.

He gazes down to my chest which is indecently exposed. I gasp softly and adjust my top to prevent any more of.. that. Abel closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again.

Taking that as my cue, I resume attacking his face with my kisses and take hold of his bottom lip between my teeth nibbling at it gently. Abel grabs my hips tightly and starts moving me forwards and backwards gently.

Feeling consumed by the intensity of my desire, I press myself closer to Abel wishing I could melt into him.

He sneaks his hand underneath my top but just before he grazes my chest, I pull away from him realising how far this has gone.

"Crap, Brown Eyes I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" I interrupt Abel's apology by holding my hand out to him.

"No, it's okay. We both got a bit carried away." Understatement of the century.

We both kind of sit there awkwardly, not fully knowing what to do after what just happened.

Abel finally gets up allowing me to to see that he's only in a tight pair of boxers outlining his toned ass and muscular thighs.

When he turns around, my gaze immediately drops to the huge tent pitching in his boxers making me gasp out loud.

Man, this boy is packed and it turns me on way more then it should.

Reverting back to his usual playful self, Abel places his hands on his hips and thrusts forward a bit, "You see what you do to me? He can't help himself when you're around, especially when you do things like what happened earlier."

I feign innocence and act like I'm confused, "I have no idea what you're talking  about."

Abel's eyes narrow at me as he smirks, "I know you do baby. And besides, I know I wasn't the only one affected. You know, with your sounds and whatnot.

"I can't help that you have that affect on me." I say in a raspy voice. Gosh he makes me crazy.

"You're damn straight I do. Me and no one else." He growls out. "Now, are you sure you don't want to get back to-"

I interrupt him once again by throwing at his head, "No!"

He chuckles at me and heads to the bathroom muttering about a cold shower.

I throw myself back onto my bed and sigh out loud. 

I've always wanted to save myself for marriage. I think there's something so romantic about giving yourself to the one and only person who you so deeply love. But Abel is testing me greatly; he's just so desirable.

Despite that, I still think I'm too young. I don't think I'm ready and it'll stay that way.

Now, the question is, what am I going to tell Abel?

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