Castiel's POV
Gabe left. I don't know where he went or for how long. He just left. There was a bang and some crashing. Then he was gone. His car and all his stuff was still here, but he wasn't. He wasn't here, and I am really fucking hungry.

Maybe I should get out of bed. Maybe I should just try to get over it, again. But that's the thing, I was never over him. Dean Winchester was like a bad splinter than you just couldn't get out. He dug deep into your skin and just sits there. Making you itch and squirm. You can try to get rid of him but every time you're close everything just comes crashing back down on you.

I rolled off the bed and made my way into my messy kitchen. The floor was still covered in paper, but I no longer cared. I just pushed them away witch my feet as I made a beeline for the cereal.

After my bowl was made. I climbed back into my bed. Eating a spoonful between flipping channels. I stayed like that for awhile before I heard Gabe get back. Finally, it had been almost five hours now.

I heard him shuffling around. Then clanging like something was being poured. And finally hiss. That's what caused me to cover myself with the comforter and hide. Bee doesn't hiss. Bee likes everybody. Bee especially likes Gabriel. Even if he cut Bee's tail off that damn cat would sill purr and cuddle up with him.

Whoever was out there was not Gabe. The footstep were pounding. Like boots rather than Gabe's socks, because he always took his shoes off at the door.

It was quiet and for a minute I thought he intruder left. Then muttering. Muffled muttering from a deep scratchy voice. My body shook slightly and i tried to stay as still as possible.

The muttering stopped with the footsteps, directly outside the bedroom door. A slow held out creak told me that whoever it was, was now only a few meters from my bed.

It only took a second before frantic footsteps took off towards the bathroom. "Cas!" My eyes widened as I slowly removed the sheets from over my head.

I watched as Dean threw open he bathroom door, his breathing heavier. "Cas! Where are you!?!" Then he turned around. Our eyes met. My confused blue eyes met his relieved green ones.

"Cas..." then he had me in his arms. His embrace was warm and I felt my toes tingle from finally being this close to him again. "How, where did you come from." He looked from me to the door then back again.

"I was um hiding." I laughed a little. "I thought you were an intruder..."

"Shoot sorry," he realized his mistake now, "Gabe sent me because he said he was going out and he forgot to feed your cat and that you might be taking this super hard, and..." he looked down.

"And what Dean?"

"He thought you might have hurt yourself." He said it fast but I caught every word.

"Oh," my right hand instinctively found my wrist where old scars lingered as faded white lines. "Right."

Dean followed my movement to my wrist. "Cas..." He looked regretful. Like there was something he needed to say but he knew he couldn't. Dean's arms flopped to his sides and he took a step back from the edge of the bed.

"Dean-", I started, but he cut me off.

"I should have told you sooner." Dean stated from above me. "I just... I thought I could protect you. You and your whole family. I could be the hero and save the day then go back to a normal life." He sniffed a little. "But I couldn't do it. Instead I fucked up. I almost got myself killed, I almost got Sammy killed. I thought for sure they would find you. They would find you and I wouldn't be there to save you. Cas, I'm so sorry I just, I can't lose you, because I love you!"

I love you. His outburst shocked me. What was I supposed to say to that. Then it hit me. They. Who was he talking about? Somebody that tried to kill him, to kill his innocent brother. What had he gotten himself into?

I closed my eyes, not really wanting to know the answer. "They?" My eyes snapped open to see his reaction. His face was paler now and his eyes were wider than before. "Dean, who tried to hurt you?"

"No-nobody." He muttered under his breath. His gaze fell to the floor, refusing to budge from a spot on one of the wooden planks.

I inhaled deeply, annoyance setting into my features, "Just tell me."

"Cas..." I thought for a minute he might tell me but his voice trailed off instead.

"Why won't you tell me!" He finally looked at me when I yelled.

He was yelling now too, "Cas, I just can't okay!"

"No, it isn't 'okay'. This whole thing is so far from okay!" I sprung up from my spot on the bed, getting up in his face. "You were dead! There was a funeral. People cried, I cried," I brought up my right arm hanging it in front of him so he could clearly see my scars, "I tried to kill myself, because you died and i didn't think I could do it without you. You're here now though. So the least I deserve is a goddamned explanation. So just fucking tell me!"

His eyes softened and he moved past me to slump down on the bed. "Okay."

I released my breath, finally starting to calm down. I was ready for answers. "Okay."

Another one!! Sorry it took so long, I've been cramming for finals next week. I'll update again on Monday but idk how the long it will take me to update after that. Vote, comment, stress about exams.