When I put my mind to it, I'm really good at avoiding people. Scary good, really.

I have a knack for just simply ignoring their existence.

It's what I've been doing with Jesse and Raina. The past few days, Jesse has been blowing my phone up. Probably because he's still pissed about seeing Daniel and I kissing. But I'm not his business. And he has no right to be mad, not one.

I had to just turn off my notifications on my socials and mute his messages. It was bothersome and I didn't have time for him anymore. Raina has let up, though. She gets the hint.

I don't want to talk to you.

Which is great. I've been good at avoiding either of them on campus and our old hangout spots...mostly because I haven't really been out much. Not since that night.

Daniel on the other hand, he's a hard one to ignore. I live with him, take care of his daughter. It's been civil between us, but awkward.

Every time I look at him, I just remember the way it felt when he kissed me like he owned me, and I wanted that again. But I won't risk it. Not again.

So, really, I've been mostly hiding out in my room. I hang out with MG a lot when he's not home. But when he does come back, I usually make myself disappear. Go study. Read something. My grades have been benefiting from the extra study time, which is a good thing.

But my heart hurts.

"Adri," Mary Grace looks at me from her notebook. "Can we take a break?"

I nod. "Sure."

Mary Grace has been studying her ASL a lot harder since her trip with her mom. I worry that Nancy said something to her, but I haven't had the courage to ask. So I have been hanging out with her, learning behind her shoulder.

I've already learned the whole alphabet and to introduce myself properly. Which is pretty impressive for only a few days.

I check the time. It was after seven, Daniel should be home soon. I chewed on my thumb nail gently. "What do you wanna do? Get some ice cream? Watch tv?"

"Actually," she looked so shy, so vulnerable. A lot of the time, I forget that she's only seven. "Can I try something with you?"

"What's that?"

She looked down before saying, "I want to try to turn off my hearing aids and see if I can read your lips."

"I thought you could still hear without them on?"

"I can, just not as clear as with them. I just...want some practice, and I'm scared to ask my dad because he always looks so...scared when I talk to him about this stuff."

My heart softened for her. "Wait right here." I ran down to the kitchen, pulled my earbuds from my bag, and ran back up to her room. "Put these on. I'm gonna play music, so it'll help you not be able to hear me. Fair shot at real practice."

She smiles and places the buds in her ears after taking off her hearing aids. "Can it be Taylor Swift?"

I laugh. "It can be anything you want, kiddo. Any album preference?"

"Speak Now, specifically Long Live."

"Alright," I say, queuing it up. "Anything you'd like me to say in specific?"

"Mm," she shakes her head. "Just say anything. I want to mimic back what I think you said. Thumbs up for good, thumbs down for bad."

"Got it." I hold a thumbs up.

MG smiles and nods. I play the song, and she's bopping her head gently. Who knew she was a Swiftie? That's so cute.

"My name is Adrianna." I say.

MG wrinkles her nose at me. "Too easy, Adri. Harder sentences."

"Okay," I sigh. "I hate all college math."

She squints. "I something math."

I smile and thumbs up. It's a start. "I also am a Taylor Swift fan."

She lights up. "You're a Taylor fan!"

I thumbs up with a huge smile. "Good job! I think the Eras Tour is the single most genius idea anyone has ever come up with."

"Something about the Eras Tour. I probably agree with whatever you said."

I smile. "I wish I could've gone to the tour, I'm jealous I didn't. But I watch livestreams of it when I have free time."

Mary Grace was struggling and I felt bad. I opened my mouth to say something, but she said "please keep going", so I did.

I wrack my brain for something else to say. "I wish a lot of things in my life were different than what they are now. But I wouldn't trade this moment for anything in the world."

And I wouldn't.

Mary Grace groans in frustration and yanks the earbuds out. "I hate this. I don't know lip reading and I can't really tell what you're saying." She turns away from me, but I hear the sadness in her voice when she says, "why did I have to stand so close to those stupid fireworks. I ruined my whole family that day."

"Hey," I say, walking to the other side of her and facing her. Her eyes were red and glossy, which broke my heart. "You did not do anything wrong, you hear me? I wish I had an answer as to why bad things happen, especially to people who don't deserve it. I-I don't, kiddo. And I'm so sorry for that," I lift my hand and wipe her tear that fell. "I just know that there is a reason for everything, even if we don't know why."

"Really?"

"Yes," I nod. "I don't know all the answers. But there's always a reason, even for our pain. Even for this unfortunate situation. And we may not even know why until years from now. But do you want to know what I do know for sure?"

She sniffles. "Yeah."

"I know that you are a badass, but don't tell your dad I said that." She smiles, which makes me smile. "I also know that you're the strongest girl I've ever met. This is a lot for a seven-year-old to have to endure, baby. But you take it like a literal queen. You are so strong, and smart. I watch you study and learn all of this stuff like it's nothing. Yet I'm struggling," I laugh. "You're a certified badass."

"But I can't tell my dad that?"

"Not that word, no," I smile. "But you can tell him how strong you are. And smart. And resilient. Because you, Mary Grace, are one of the bravest and strongest people I know—and you're only seven. I admire you, MG. You have a full life ahead of you. So what if you can't read lips yet?" I shrug. "We'll practice. Every day if that's what you want. But that doesn't make you any less strong. And it doesn't make what happened to you your fault at all, do you understand me?"

She sniffles and gives me a little nod. Then she launches into my arms. I catch her easily, since I was kneeling right in front of her, and wrap my arms around her small body.

"Please don't ever leave, Adri. You're better than anyone we've ever had here. You're actually my friend."

That pulled on my heart. Because I realized that I loved this little girl. And I wanted to protect her from every single bad thing on the planet. I would do anything for her.

And I suddenly understood Daniel on a whole new level.

She may not be mine, but I would do anything as if she was to make sure she was happy and safe. Because she deserves the entire world.

"I won't, kiddo. I promise."

When she pulled away, I wiped the tears that had fallen down her face and ruffled her hair. MG wanted to call it a night and shower before Daniel got home, so I left her to do so.

I walked down the stairs, but practically jumped out of my skin when I saw Daniel already home, palms on the counter and head hanging. His head snapped up when he heard me and there was such an intense look in his eye, it made my heart jump to my throat.

He looked like he wanted to say something. But I just gave him a small smile. "MG is showering, probably ready for some dinner afterwards."

"Yeah," he cleared his throat. "Yeah."

"I'm not hungry," I offer sincerely. "So I'm gonna study in my room. Probably get started on my paper that's due on Monday."

"Sounds good." Daniel stands straight.

"Goodnight, Daniel."

"Goodnight, Adrianna."

I turn and head to my room, shutting the door. I sigh, because I feel so many things. I want to just run back out there and jump into his arms. But I can't put him in that position.

I consider the possibility of quitting, but not after promising Mary Grace. Maybe I can just live in my own apartment, then. Somewhere close by that I can just travel to and from every day. The pay has been really good here. I can probably afford a down payment on a decent car and see about rent on apartments or something.

I groan, walking to my bed. I grab my phone and call the one person I know will give me the best advice.

She answers on the first ring. "My baby girl," my mother coos. "Hi."

"Hi, mom." I smile. I love my parents and always try to talk to them at least once a day. Even if it's just through text.

"How's school been?"

"Fun," I say. "I love what I'm studying, you know that. I think I should be graduating by summer, so that's fun."

"I'm so proud of you, baby." I hear her smile. "You got a package, by the way. More books?"

I laugh. "Of course. Can't trust them anywhere else."

Every time I order books, I always send them home. My mom opens the package and places them neatly in a pile around my old room. Needless to say, I didn't trust them at Jesse's apartment.

Maybe that was a sign from the beginning.

"You know I'll take care of them." She sighs. "Now, what's wrong with my baby? Is it Jesse again?"

"Ew, no."

My mom laughs. "Good. You know what I always say—if they cheat on you once, they'll do it again. Never trust a cheater."

"Don't worry, mom. I never plan on letting Jesse anywhere near me again. Ever."

"Good. Then, why sound so sad, my love?"

I sigh, lying on my back. "You believe in all that destiny, one person has a soulmate stuff, right? That's what you and dad have?"

"Of course."

"What if...it's more complicated than that?"

"How so?"

And I tell her, just a little bit. About the feelings I've felt for Daniel. How I think he feels the same towards me, but he also has a daughter. And I don't want to risk losing the job because I do love taking care of Mary Grace, but these feelings are too much sometimes.

"Oh, my baby." She says softly. "Can you come and stay here this weekend? I think we need some one-on-one time. Talk through this together, in person."

"I'll see if I can get the time off, Mom." I smile.

"Please," she emphasizes. "I think it'll be good for you."

I nod, even though she can't see it. "Okay. Okay, yeah."

"Thank you. I love you, my baby."

"I love you, too, mom."

When we hang up, I take a breath. Then I walk back out to ask Daniel if I can spend the weekend with my parents. I thought he would fight it, but he didn't. He agreed easily. Told me not to worry about it. He'd see me back on Sunday.

I don't know why it bothered me he let me go so easily. But I tried to mask it with a tight smile and walked back to my room.

Maybe we do need to spend some time apart and just let these feelings fade out. Maybe this will be good for me.

I hope.

A/N

getting into the family aspect of this makes me so 🥰 I'm so excited hehehe.

thanks for reading, lovelies! don't forget to vote, comment, etc!! <33